Chapter Text
Daniel had many tricks. Many ways to manage, to not be overwhlemed by what surrounds him. He controlled his surroundings, and that way he avoided any situation that could make him look vulnerable, that would show his weaker points. He was much more comfortable with people thinking his weaknesses were just his ego and his need for control. No need for anyone to know about the rest, all the rest. Because there was a lot of rest.
He managed to get his problem with loud noises and people screaming under control, but still there were many other things he couldn't handle, even if he worked every day to manage. Because he was the great J Daniel Atlas, and his head wasn't going to prevent him from doing absolutely anything. The others heard him complain about things and knew there were some specific things he didn't tolerate, but didn't mind all that much. Just Danny being weird.
One of those he didn't tolerate was people smoking, he didn't allow cigarette smoke near him or in closed spaces where he was. Often Merritt had to go out in the cold night just to get a smoke, which had ended in leaving the habit altogether (not that smoked before, but this helped say goodbye to the cigarettes forever). But of course, there were situations in which it couldn't be helped.
And this happened to be one of those occasions. They were impersonating a music band in Dresden to get into the backstage of a particularly security tight place, when they crossed paths with the chief of security, who was a big dick who didn't remember green lighting this band and enjoyed throwing the smoke of his cigarettes in the smug faces of the performers. It gave him joy, bothering all sorts of stars and faces they put.
So, yeah, as luck would have it, Mr. Security man had fun while interrogating them smoking into Danny's face, who seemed to be the one that it annoyed the most and Danny knew he couldn't react too violently because they could alert more security and eventually they'd find out who they really were and that they weren't supposed to be there. He wanted to get away, but he happened to be the only one of them who spoke enough german, which the security man understood more than english.
“You did well, Danny boy. For a moment there I thought you were going to explode and ruin everything.” Merritt said, smirking like an idiot.
Danny could only cough, trying to recover his breath. Damn smoke, damn man and damn mission.
“That dude was a douche.” Jack said, changing his clothes into those of a security guard for the next bit of their plan. “You ok, man?”
“Fine.” Danny said between coughs. “Let's get what we need and get out.”
But everyone could see that the incident with the security guy had affected him. Danny hated surprises and they hadn't taken into account that security guy. They were already late and he could still smell the smoke, as if he was still getting it. He coughed and coughed and felt no relief. Bullshit.
When they were going to the meeting point to get together with Dylan, he felt that things were starting to go even worse. The cough were not stopping and he started to feel a bit light headed. He should have known, he should have prepared himself but he hadn't because how could he know that he'd have smoke on his face? And now he could do nothing about it, damn.
“Oh, come on, don't be such a drama queen. That tiny bit of smoke cannot have affected you that much, it was nothing. Millions of people smoke every day and they or the people around them don't make half as much noise as you do.” Merritt said, because he'd been a smoker for many years and didn't understand this sudden hatred, and Daniel was behaving like a weakling.
“Don't be so harsh, Merritt, we got what we wanted, a few coughs are nothing compared with having to put up with your snoring.” Jack said and Merritt made an indignant face.
And then the wheezing started and Danny knew he was in real trouble. He searched his pockets for the umpteenth time, looking for something that he knew wasn't there. Shit shit shit. No matter how much he tried to control it, he knew that he couldn't control anything about this, ah, how he wished.
“Hey, you okay, Danny?” Lula asked. “I think he's having problems to breathe.”
“It can't be from the smoke, there was hardly any. It's probably just a panic attack, or something. Just take deep breaths and think of calm things, boy.”
Only it wasn't that easy. Danny partly wished that this was a panic attack because that he could solve without any medication. It would take a while, yeah, and it would be a bit embarrassing dealing with the others afterwards but he knew what to do, how to get out. It wouldn't be the first time he'd overcome it by himself, and probably not the last.
“Danny? Do you need us to leave or something?”
Danny took Jack's sleeve with all the strength he could muster, trying to say what he should have said a long ago, but now he couldn't. He tried to speak but he couldn't draw enough breath and all that got out was a horrible sounding wheeze and yet another cough.
“Hey, when you have a panic attack, aren't you supposed hyperventilate? Because I don't think Danny's ventilating at all.”
That didn't sound like a panic attack, nor did those coughs. Danny was getting pale, and weirder even his lips were becoming blue.
“Shit! Danny, do you have asthma?” Danny faintly nodded, while trying to get some air. This was the worst attack he'd had since he was a kid, and it was draining him. “Ok, we need an inhaler, or oxygen or something, do you have anything with you?”
Danny shook his head. It had been years since he stopped taking his inhaler with him, and part of him was hoping that he had grown out of the illness. No such luck, evidently. Today was absolutely his lucky day.
“Ok, internet, tell me where is the nearest hospital or medical centre or anything.” Danny made a gesture with his hand, but Lula dismissed it. Who cared about being recognized? “We're going, Danny, your lips are blue and you look like a ghost, I don't accept nos. Ok, there's a walk in clinic two blocks from here, think you can make it?”
Danny nodded in between coughs and wheezes. The walk there was painfully slow and difficult, almost agonising. The other three horsemen practically carried Danny, taking his weight, practically overlooking the fact that they shouldn't be drawing attention to themselves. It didn't matter anymore: if they had to be arrested, then they would be, but not before Danny could breathe again.
The people in the clinic were quite nice, made no fun of their broken german or of their extravagant outfits. One of the nurses looked like she recognised them, but she didn't say anything. They had been really lucky that this happened in Germany, because if it had been in any place of the US they would probably be surrounded by fans and police forces.
The doctor spoke english with a very thick accent and told them that Danny was past inhalers and to wait there for a moment. She brought an oxygen tank with a mask and Danny feel like he could finally breathe. While Danny was trying to recover his breathing rhythm, Dylan arrived looking flustered.
“What happened? I was waiting for you and I got a text from Merritt only with this address and then I find out it's a clinic...What the hell happened to Danny?”
“Apparently, he has asthma. Did you know anything? Cos we didn't and just thought he was freaking out.” Lula said, still feeling a bit guilty.
“I didn't.” Dylan said. It was weird because he'd studied the four (and then five) magicians before recruiting them for the eye, checking closely the medical records in case they had any ailments that would make some tricks dangerous, and hadn't seen anything about Danny having asthma, despite working closely with him for years now.
Danny had simply wanted to be this invulnerable, unapproachable, wanted to be this column of a magician god. But lately, he felt like he messed up everything. Even the smallest of things, just some smoke on his face, almost ruined a whole operation. He wanted to be flawless to make up for all his quirks and limitations and every day he felt he could manage less and less.
That night, after returning to the hotel and managing the plans for the future, Dylan to Danny who was almost obsessively going through some schematics.
“You probably should get some rest.” Dylan said. “After what happened today.”
“I'm sorry, I put everything in danger, I... I just... I hadn't had any problems with it since I was a kid, I didn't want to be seen as weak, I...”
“Don't beat yourself up about it. We all have things we would rather not share. But this was pretty scary for the others, maybe you could make an exception with them and me? We're not going to think less of you, Danny, we've seen how you work, your talent... And we'd rather not end up in the hospital again, all right?”
“Yeah, sure, thanks.”
“None of us are perfect, but we don't have to be. Everyone else cares about you and has accepted you. You should do it too.”
And so Dylan left, leaving on the table four inhalers, each one bought (or stolen) by a concerned horseman.