Chapter Text
For a few minutes, they milled about in silence. No one wanted to start the process after Kinger had described the SIGCONT, and although Kinger had explained Caine wasn’t really sleeping, it still felt cruel to essentially be waking him up.
Zooble didn’t want to face it, but they were afraid of what Kinger had said about the lost data. Would Caine remember them, or what they had gone through together? Would he forget other things or lose the ability to do certain tasks? How would the circus work if Caine wasn't functioning? It didn’t matter now. What was done was done, and it couldn’t be repaired. They looked around. No one was moving. Zooble guessed it was up to them again. Their body felt heavy and tired. They stepped forward.
“I’ll hold him down, so he doesn’t hurt himself,” they said. They looked at Jax. He would be the best to help. Pomni was too small, Gangle too timid and Ragatha too nice to do what was necessary.
“Jax, can you give me a hand?” He looked up. “I got his upper half. You hold down his legs.”
“Uh, yeah sure,” Jax replied in a daze, as though Zooble had asked for his help moving furniture.
Zooble pinned Caine down by his shoulders. Jax grabbed his legs. “Lucky he’s so little huh?”
Yeah, it was like holding down a fourth grader. “Make sure he doesn’t kick.”
“Whatever you say, boss,” Jax halfheartedly joked.
“Alright, when you’re ready Kinger.” Zooble took a deep breath in.
Kinger stepped up to the terminal and sent the SIGCONT command.
Caine shrieked and arched his back as though he were in the electric chair.
Zooble put all their strength into wrestling him still. Jax was caught off guard and fought to keep Caine from kicking his legs. The filler data patch clipped through his torso.
Shit.
After a solid minute, Caine stopped thrashing and started shaking.
Zooble took a deep breath in and inspected the wound. Despite the clipping, the patch was still holding up and nothing was leaking.
Thank God.
Caine heaved.
“Oh no!” Jax warned, “I do not do vomit!” He let go. Caine's leg sprung back and he howled in pain.
“What the hell!” Zooble screamed. Jax shot up and walked away.
Caine continued dry heaving.
He stopped.
Zooble helped him up. They felt his petite shoulders trembling.
He was crying, so softly his sobs were barely heard.
“Kinger, you need to do something,” Zooble demanded. The chess piece was staring at the horror show. “He needs a painkiller.”
“I don’t know how he feels pain,” Kinger said, “I don’t know how to shut it off.”
“Well figure something out!” Zooble shouted. Kinger pored over the monitor.
“It’s not that simple,” he explained, “It’s not one strand of code that allows him to feel pain. It's systems of code that work together. I can’t just edit it willynilly-”
“Well do something other than just standing there!” Ragatha put a hand on Zooble’s shoulder.
“We just have to make him comfortable,” Ragatha stated, “That’s all we can do.”
“Maybe turn him on his side?” Pomni suggested, “That might take some pressure off.”
“You want me to move him?” Zooble asked in disbelief.
“Just towards yourself,” Ragatha said, “I’ll put pillows behind him.”
Zooble looked at Kinger, hoping for a Eureka moment from the programmer. Kinger looked back helplessly. Zooble gently tilted Caine towards themself, while Ragatha tucked pillows behind his back. Pomni grabbed a pillow.
“We can put this one in between his knees.” She nudged the pillow in between his legs. Caine laid there like a discarded doll.
Great job, team! We moved him. For whatever fucking good that did, he was still in pain!
Zooble tried their best to keep Caine’s cries from affecting them, but it was like finding a wounded animal under your porch.
Jax came trudging back, holding a plastic red basket.
He threw it into Zooble’s hand.
“Have him throw up in this,” Jax said, “I’m not a fucking nurse!”
“You did a good job, Jax,” Ragatha said, candidly, “Everyone did their best.”
No, some of you were fucking useless.
Zooble listened for the circus music. That at least, would calm them. It would mean Caine was back online. All they heard was the rush of fans, like they were in an old server room.
Pomni paced back and forth. “I could go out and see what I can find. More pillows or blankets or- or maybe there’s some Stupid Sauce!”
Jax started laughing. “Sure! Let’s drug him and see what happens!”
“He needs something!”
“Guys, stop fighting in front of Caine,” Ragatha scolded. Oh my God. That’s what Ragatha was worried about?
“Hey Caine, say something if we’re bothering you,” Jax said. He was quiet for a beat. “See he doesn’t mind.”
“Shut up Jax,” Pomni spat. Ragatha looked like she was going to say something when Zooble cut in.
“I’ve been on stupid sauce,” Zooble said, “It’s like being drunk. I don’t think it will do much for him. He needs a painkiller.”
“Sorry,” Pomni mumbled.
“It’s fine,” Zooble said, “It’s not like we’re working with much here.” Their version of medicine was pillows and a plastic basket.
“I’m looking at his code now. It’s gotten very complex since I last saw it, but maybe there’s a way to dampen it…” Kinger said. He didn’t sound hopeful.
They turned to Caine. His eyes were open, but unfocused and hazy. They took his hand.
“Give my hand a squeeze if you can hear me, Caine,” they instructed him. His hand remained limp. They gave it a squeeze. “Come on,” they said, not caring that the other players were watching them. Still nothing. They gently put his arm down.
Kinger examined him. “He’s idling. He’s on, he’s rendering the circus, but he doesn’t have the processing power for much else.”
He was still working? He was still rendering, whatever that meant?
Zooble looked at him. “What can we do?”
“He just has to regain his strength.”
“How is he supposed to do that when he can’t sleep?” Zooble asked.
“I don’t know,” Kinger admitted, “Someone from the outside is supposed to come and fix him. Something like this was never meant to happen.”
Well, that was the final confirmation they needed that Kinger knew more than he had led on. They felt a sharpness in their chest.
“Well is there a way he doesn't have to render as much?” they asked, “Could we turn off some of the locations? It’s not like we’re going to the digital lake anytime soon.”
“We can’t just toggle those locations off.”
“Then delete them. We never use them anyway,” Zooble said. Ragatha and Pomni nodded in agreement. Kinger sighed.
“It’s not that simple. One thing about Caine and the circus,” he began, interlocking his fingers, “Is that their codes are intertwined. If I delete part of the circus, I’m also deleting part of Caine’s code.”
“Intertwined?” Gangle asked, “Like?”
“Uh, like Siamese twins,” Kinger answered, “You can make edits without affecting the other, but they share essential code systems together.”
“Great!” Zooble exclaimed, “So the whole circus is running on a dying battery! What happens when he fucking collapses from exhaustion?”
“He’s here now,” Kinger said,”That’s a good sign at least. He can recharge without sleeping.”
“Yeah Zooble,” Ragatha added, “It’s going to be okay.”
How could they say that? Am I the only one who understands how bad this is?
Zooble turned to Kinger. They wanted to scream and verbally eviscerate everyone- Kinger for having a hand in this fucking mess, Jax for being a selfish asshole, Ragatha for playing peacekeeper- They knew that would be counterproductive. They still wanted answers.
“You built him.” It wasn’t so much a question as an accusation. “You built this game. And you never fucking told us?” Everyone turned to look at Kinger, who for his part didn’t flinch.
“I worked on Caine, yes. I was on a team of developers,” he said, “And many more people worked on the actual game.”
“You decided to just fucking keep that to yourself?”
“No, but my memory isn’t good. My memories from the real world are hazy at best,” Kinger said.
“The darkness helps him think,” Pomni defended him, “It reminds him of his wife.”
“You have a wife?” Zooble asked, “What happened-” Pomni gave them a quick shake of her head. Oh. The only thing that happens to someone in the circus. Some of the anger deflated out of their chest.
“I promise, I will answer any question you have. I’m sorry, I never meant to hide anything,” Kinger said.
“I have a question,” Jax interrupted, “What idiot didn’t program an exit?” Kinger sighed.
“That’s a good question,” he said,” I’m not sure. I wasn’t in that department. But I do know, once we made Caine, our CEO realized the AI could do a lot of the work on the game, and they didn’t need to hire as many programmers. They started doing massive layoffs. People worked overtime to make sure they were seen as essential, then they would burn out and someone new would take their place. It was a huge, disorganized mess, so I’m not surprised it had such a huge error.”
“What happens to the circus if something bad happens to Caine?” Pomni asked, “Is that why everything has been glitching?” Kinger nodded.
Like I said, he is interconnected with the circus,” he said, “So it would not be good.”
“That makes sense,” Zooble said, “One time I was doing… a therapy session with Caine.” That sounded bizarre. They’d have to explain that more later. “He said something and all the walls started glitching.”
“Wait, why did it glitch, what happened?” Jax asked.
Zooble shrugged. “He got upset, I guess.”
“Wait, the circus is connected to Caine’s emotions?” Jax asked, “And you knew?”
“I didn’t know,” Zooble answered, “I had a theory.” Are you kidding me, that hardly matters now.
“That you didn’t tell anyone,” he said, “If I knew this place depended on Caine’s mental health, do you know how much ass I would have been kissing?”
“Oh I’m sure you would have loved that-“ Zooble interjected.
“I would have complimented every adventure,” Jax continued, not acknowledging their comment, “I would have hung out with him. I would have rolled out the fucking red carpet.”
“Sucking up to Caine wouldn’t make the circus any better,” they said.
“Uh, it would keep the floor from breaking.”
Zooble rolled their eyes. Jax tugged down on his ears. “God, we gotta worry about Caine’s emotions now? Like we don’t have enough to deal with.”
“Who cares about his emotions? He’s fucking dying-”
Caine bent forward and started hacking. Ragatha rubbed circles on his back and held up the basket to his face.
Globs of black pixels dribbled down into it, hissing as they fell.The red basket started vibrating, then turned into a simple red cube. The pixels fell onto the blanket.
“God, we broke the basket,” Jax said, quietly, “That’s all we had.”
“What is that?” Pomni asked.
“I think… it’s the filler data,” Kinger said. His voice sounded thin and worn. “He might be rejecting it.”
They all watched with silent terror.
He could reject the data? Like an organ?
Caine kept coughing, his jaw contorting in pain. Ragatha grabbed a pillow and held it to his chest.
“Here Caine, squeeze this,” she said. He weakly held the pillow. When he ceased coughing, he slumped forward and she guided him back down onto the makeshift bed.
They all looked to Kinger.
“I think… that little bit… will be okay,” the chess piece said, “We’ll just watch him.”
God Kinger had only prolonged the inevitable, hadn’t he? Zooble stared at Caine. They had to do something. If the filler data wasn’t holding, what else could be done?
Ragatha traded his blanket for a fresh one. She was careful not to touch the phlegm after seeing what it had done to the basket. Zooble stood up.
They needed a plan other than waiting here. If someone needed to come fix Caine, maybe they could reach out to them.
“Kinger, do you know what happened to the company you used to work for?” They asked.
“It was called C&A,” Kinger said, “I don’t know what happened to them.” That sounded familiar. Something said that on the monitor.
“Well Caine has to have a way to contact them, right?” Zooble asked, “Let’s send them a message. Maybe they have better technology now, and they could help?”
“That… sounds like a good idea,” Pomni agreed, hopefully, “Someone’s bound to do something about it, right?”
“Worth a shot,” Kinger said halfheartedly, “He used to send us messages while we worked on the game.”
“I’ll go with you,” Jax offered, “I don’t want to stay in a sick room. Pomni can come with us. We’ve gotten pretty good at handling the abstractions.”
“I’ll come too,” Gangle said, “I don't know how much help I’ll be here.”
“Okay, great. He’s got to have an office or something, right?” Zooble asked, “Let’s see if we can find it.”
Gangle nodded and climbed to her feet. Pomni and Jax stood up. Jax crossed his arms. Pomni stole a glance at Caine and muttered a futile, “Feel better” before they left with Zooble.
It went unsaid that Kinger and Ragatha would stay behind. Kinger, in case he was needed and because he was too exhausted to do anything more. Ragatha because someone needed to watch over Caine, and she was the most predisposed to it.
It was strange that the person was Caine of all people. Ragatha spent a lot of her time checking in on the other cast members, but Caine had always been an enigma to her. It was really hard to have a full conversation with him, and she was never sure if anything they said really got through to him. And now, it was difficult to reconcile the fast paced ringmaster with how quiet and still he was now.
Before she had treated him as the circus’ malfunctioning mascot more than one of the humans. Ragatha frowned. That was an awful thing to think of him as. How could she be so thoughtless and cruel? What was wrong with her?
“Do you want water?” She asked Caine, “To help clear your throat?”
He didn’t answer or even acknowledge Ragatha had spoken to him. It was just as well. She didn’t know how she would get him water. If they wanted something, they asked Caine for it. There was the cafe, where you could grab a drink, but she figured it was probably in shambles.
She looked to Kinger. His eyes were unfocused and he seemed lost in his mind. Poor guy. On a good day, he had trouble stringing a coherent thought together. The darkness helped a lot, but it was clear even after his nap he was spent. Well, if she couldn’t help Caine she could at least help Kinger.
“Hey,” she said to him, “You can go rest now. I can watch Caine.”
He looked at her and then at Caine. “I will wake you up if anything happens,” she reassured, “You’ll be more helpful if you’re at your best.”
Kinger nodded. He stood up and mumbled, “Make sure he gets to pick a sticker.”
Ragatha gave him an uneasy smile. “Will do.” Kinger left and started reconstructing his pillow fort.
It was her and Caine now. She tapped his foot.
“You just let me know, if you need anything,” she said. If he did by some chance ask her for something, she resolved to find a way to get it for him.
He didn’t ask for anything. He laid there in a sort of fugue state. She was about to ask him if there was anything she could do to help him sleep when she remembered what Kinger had told them. Caine wasn’t capable of sleep. Not like a human. Her chest twisted painfully for him. He had the equivalent of abdomen surgery without the mercy of a good night’s rest.
She grabbed an extra pillow in case he started coughing again. She had broken her ribs a few times horseback riding, and she knew the pressure helped stabilize the pain. She wasn’t sure if it worked for an abdomen injury. She also wasn’t sure if it worked on a being made of code, but well, it was something.
“If you can’t be useful,” her mother’s harsh voice rang in her ear, “Then just stay out of the way.”
She clenched her blue dress in her hands. Caine was severely injured, Zooble had been hurt, Kinger was depleted, the rest of them were scared and she couldn’t do anything about it.
Useless, useless.
She swallowed and gave Caine a smile she hoped was soft and comforting. Even if he was out of it, she shouldn’t worry him.
If he couldn’t sleep, maybe he could relax. She could keep his surroundings calm. Peace and quiet. She could give him that, at least.