Chapter Text
John and I had spent the next few weeks getting to know each other in a more romantic and physical capacity. The first time our lips met, despite it being the chastest kiss I’d ever shared, it felt like a supernova exploding in my chest. Despite the common perception of those who know me that believe I know nothing about the solar system, I do understand what happens when stars collide. When they meet, their merger leads to the formation of either a heavier neutron star or a black hole. My fear had always been that our union would either make or break us forever. I don’t like fatuous platitudes, but the moment our lips pressed to each other, I knew that my anxiety over progressing into who we were becoming, was completely unfounded. I’d never felt more at ease with the physical closeness of another person until John and I finally let ourselves be who we should’ve been all along.
Our new-found physical closeness meant I had new things to contemplate, as well as catalog and organise in my Mind Palace. While we never made it past a bit of over-our-clothes grinding and tongue kissing, everything we did was new, exciting, and surprisingly pleasurable to me. I am not generally a fan of people, as many who know me are aware. Everything John and I did together was a new experience for me, and he was delightfully kind and patient with any reservations and questions I had for him. We discussed my drug history and the rigorous blood testing I’d been subjected to by my meddling brother. John told me he’d always been careful, and informed me that he had been tested once he’d found out Mary was pregnant. He’d had a nagging fear that Rosamund was not biologically his, once he’d met David at his wedding. After that mortifying line of conversation, we indulged in a bit of heavy petting and what John called ‘snogging’. It was enchanting.
I knew were approaching an enormous shift in our relationship when it would become sexual in nature. I just didn’t realise it was going to happen so early into our brand-new living arrangement.
Several weeks later, there was a case. Mostly successful, if I do say so myself. The only issue? It took us six days to solve. That, and an innocent bystander was injured during the last twelve hours of our investigation. I felt responsible, due to my inability to see something that was completely obvious once I’d allowed myself to take a step back from the proceedings, have a sandwich, a sit-down, and a comforting embrace from John.
When we finally arrived home, after completing all the necessary paperwork for Lestrade, John was exhausted; Rosamund missed us terribly. I was also a bit tired. We arrived at the flat, picked up Rosamund from Mrs Hudson’s, where she’d been visiting with both of her godmothers. John let her hold his index fingers as she slowly climbed her way up the stairs to our home. We settled inside, fed ourselves, and got her to bed. John and I sat in the sitting room, with a two-finger size serving of whisky in two heavy tumblers. We cheered a solved case but I still privately lamented my overt mistakes.
As always, John told me not to be so hard on myself. I politely agreed that he was correct, while silently harbouring a heaping portion of self-doubt. John stood from his chair, leant down and pressed a soft kiss to my hair. He ruffled it as he straightened, and then kissed my forehead. Even a touch as chaste as that, made my eyes close, and I tried to take a snapshot of it to revisit for the rest of my life.
“You were brilliant tonight, Sherlock, despite what you’re thinking of yourself right now. I love you. Please come to bed tonight. I want to wake up with you tomorrow, yeah?” He patted my right cheek as he turned and made his way to the loo to get ready for bed.
As I watched him go, I felt a small part of myself heal as I let John’s words comfort me. I sat in silence, the glow of the street light below the only illumination in the room. I finished my drink, poked around at an experiment I’d started before our last case began, and realised it had seen better days. I disposed of its remnants, and decided to tidy up the kitchen before I joined John in our bed.
I tiptoed into the room and pushed the door closed without making a sound. John woke in spite of my attempt at stealth
“You were wonderful tonight; during this whole case, to be honest.”
“I don’t feel so wonderful about it, John. I wish I could see myself the way you seem to. Your perception of me has always baffled me.”
“You baffle me, you damn genius. You’re the smartest person I’ve ever met. Yes, you’re smarter than Mycroft, Sherlock!” He slid a bit further towards me and kissed me hard.
“Stop comparing yourself to him! Or to anyone else. You’re Sherlock Bloody Holmes. You’re your own person. A person who I happen to love…no, ADORE.” I sighed, and then John brought his arms around me and pulled me tightly to his body.
“I will spend every moment I have left on this Earth, trying to get you to see how absolutely sensational you are.”
“Since you will have the longest life in the history of humanity, if I have anything to say about it, I guess I should get used to your continuous onslaught of positivity.”
“Damn right.”
I settled in his embrace as he peppered my face with velvet kisses.
“How would you feel about me trying to make you feel wonderful, right now,” he asked, as he not so discreetly pressed his groin against my stomach. He was growing hard in his pants. John was developing an erection, in direct response to contact with me. Fascinating.
“The fact that your penis is in the condition it currently is makes me feel pretty wonderful already.”
“What would you say if I told you I could make you feel things you’ve never felt before, and that my penis would be directly involved in that?”
“I’d say that I was agreeable to anything you had in mind.”
“Anything?”
“I cannot think of one solitary thing that you could do to me that I would object to, especially if it involved your penis.”
“You’re sure? This is a pretty big step to take.”
“I've never had intercourse with anyone before. Shall I wait until I’m fifty before we consummate?”
“Jeeeeesus. Why is that when you get all technical and sciency, I get even more worked up?”
“You’ve always been attracted to my vocabulary. Why not use the asset to my advantage?”
“What advantage is that?”
“Getting your penis inside of me.”
“Oh my god, come here,” John exclaimed, and he pushed me to my back and climbed on top of me in what had to be a practiced move. I shoved that moment of jealousy away, and opened my legs to allow John’s hips to settle between my thighs.
“You really want that?
“More than an endless supply of locked-room murders.”
“Who am I to deny you anything?”
“You’d be a monster, in my estimation.”
“Well, we wouldn't want that.”
John captured my lips in a fiery kiss. He demonstrated his intent as he repeatedly pressed and thrusted his erection over my own developing hardness. I wound my legs across the back of his thighs and pushed up into his contact. I made noises I’d never made before in my life. Even better, were the sounds John made in return.
“Are you okay if we do it like this?”
“I would definitely prefer seeing your face.”
“Same here. Also? This will help me to know how you’re doing. You get into your head at the worst moments, sometimes. I couldn't bear it if I hurt you. I’ve done that far too often, But never again.” He slid down and away from me and got to his knees. I put my feet flat on the mattress, and he kissed my right knee as he leant over me to root around in the night table. He produced a bottle of lubricant that I did not know was even in it.
“All this making out and never getting past second base of late, has made me appreciate a good wank.” He put his elbows on my knees and rested his chin in his hands as he looked down at me.
“You should’ve told me I was upsetting you.”
Another knee kiss. “Never upset, love. I was doing my best to be patient. Waiting for you to be ready, was all. This will be so much better with you being so keen.” He shook the lubricant side-to-side.
I felt a flush of lust, apprehension, and trust spread across my torso, pinkening my skin. John noticed.
“That’s a beautiful sight. But, I think I might be able to make it better.” He pushed my knees apart and then down to the mattress. He kissed and nipped and licked the skin below my pelvis for a few moments until I felt his fingers at the waistband of my pants.
“Okay, love?”
I moaned in the affirmative, and he proceeded to slide my pants down my legs.
I glanced down the length of my body and watched John remove his own clothes. His erection was as impressive as I predicted. I think the word ‘Wow’ came out of my mouth.
“Never elicited that reaction before, but thanks!”
“I find that hard to believe. What I see in front of me is nothing short of miraculous.”
“You sure know how to sweet-talk a guy. I’ve been told I'm miraculously short, but never what you just said.”
“Well, get used to it.”
“I’m looking forward to it.” He crawled on his hands and knees to return to me on the bed. He reached behind me and grabbed two pillows and tapped my thigh. I lifted my hip and he slid them underneath me. He lifted each of my legs and placed them around his lower back.
“You tell me if I hurt you. Or if something doesn’t feel right?”
“Of course, John.”
“Promise?”
“I promise.”
He stretched to where he’d dropped the lube, opened it, and smoothed it over his erection. He used his index finger to spread some of it around my hole and kissed my chest. I draped my arms around his shoulder and felt the tip of him press against me. I gasped softly in surprise as he pushed inside.
“Oh fuck. Sherlock. Oh god. This is. You feel unbelievable, love.”
We stayed perfectly still and caught our breaths while I adjusted to feeling so perfectly full for the first time in my life.
“John. Please, John.”
“Please what, Sherlock. Are you all right?” His hands were flat on the bed next to my head, and he looked down at me with glazed-over eyes.
“Move. Please move, John.”
And so he did. He began with long, powerful thrusts that were perfectly aimed at my prostate. This felt so different than when I’d done this to myself with a toy or my fingers. John slid his hands across my chest and kissed my nipples when I arched my back. I curled towards him and buried my nose in his hair.
After one particularly well-placed thrust, I cried out.
“Are you close, sweetheart,” he asked, as he nipped at my right ear.
“I think so. I don’t know how long I can last. You feel so good, John.”
“You do too, Sherlock. I need you to come first, okay?”
“You too?”
“Of course, but I want to see you first, okay? I want to watch you come with me inside you.
My breaths were coming out in pants as our sweaty skin slid together. I got my arms around him again and held the back of his shoulders with my hands. I crossed my ankles at the base of his spine. He dug his arms under my back and cradled my neck in his hands and kissed my closed eyelids.
“Come on, Sherlock. I can feel it happening inside you. Come, sweetheart. Come. Please.”
John increased the pacing of his thrusts until he was able to coax from me a thunderous climax, one that rolled through my spine and flared through my limbs and sparked from my fingers and toes. He slowed his thrusts to prolong my pleasure, and told me he loved me and that I was beautiful. When the last wave of indulgent gratification subsided, John began to take his own pleasure.
I tightened my limbs and clenched around him from the inside, and told him to come inside of me. He grunted and groaned as he chased his orgasm. He stilled for a moment and I opened my eyes to watch him. He thrusted once more and achieved his zenith, and I felt him spill inside of me. He rode out his peak and I clutched him tightly to my body as he shook in my arms. We laid there together, kissing and nuzzling until I had to lower my legs to the bed. John slipped from my body, removed the pillows from under my hips, and tossed them to the floor. He found my discarded underwear on the bed beside us, wiped off my belly, and then settled alongside me, his head resting on my right pectoral. I pushed my fingers into his sweaty hair and scratched his scalp with my short nails and brushed my lips over his temple.
He kissed my chest, and said, “I can’t believe we waited this long. We could’ve been doing that for years.”
“But we wouldn't have Rosamund, John. We weren’t ready before now.”
“I wish both could’ve been possible, but you’re right. As always.” I felt him smile against my breast. He brought the covers up to his hand with his toes, and settled us in for the night. We fell asleep in each other’s arms and stayed that way until Rosamund’s sweet voice floated through the baby monitor the next morning.
We took a shower together the next morning, after settling Rosamund with Mrs Hudson. She gave us an approving smile as she guided her small guest inside. As we shaved and bruised our teeth, John told me he wanted to continue therapy again. I told him there was no time like the present and he was able to secure an appointment that afternoon. We went downstairs and treated Mrs Hudson to a late breakfast at Speedy’s. After indulging in too much coffee and greasy fry-ups, I drove him to his afternoon therapy session. I kissed him goodbye as I watched him walk inside.
His therapist waved at me from the door. I knew that would be okay, no matter from where the winds may blow.