Chapter Text
It was exploration. It had always been Ford’s need to explore, to be curious, creative, inventive, to seek knowledge. He had always needed information, and that’s all it was. Exploration. But that Bill had allowed it, he was astounded. He, a mere human, would be allowed to touch his muse- to discover the body that so intrigued him… to discern if it was a reality or an illusion, to be free to trace the patterns and discover the weaknesses, if any, of such a being. It was an honor. No, more than an honor. More than a privilege. He had to consider this carefully.
Stanford had never really approached Bill with his curiosities, but in his mindscape and, naturally, in his mind, Bill had incredible power. He’d found Ford’s need to discover more about Bill intriguing, and offered a deal right away. Bill would study Ford, and Ford would study Bill. They shook on it. And Bill had begun his investigation immediately. Ford shivered, his body reacting on it’s own.
No.
He couldn’t let sexual interest get in the way of this.
Al-Haythem’s method must be applied, he reasoned. Observation, stating a definite problem, forming a hypothesis, testing of the hypothesis with experimentation, analysing the results, interpreting data, drawing conclusions and- the last step would have to be skipped. Bill had called this he and Ford’s secret after all. Publishing his findings was out of the question. But recording his data in a journal, perhaps, was feasible, he reasoned. In code, naturally. Perhaps in the alien language he had discovered hidden deep below the city, which he had been studying, he thought. Or in Bill’s own language. The idea gave him a sort of superior thrill.
Surely no one would be able to decipher that, because Bill had shared it with him and him alone. A mix of ciphers so complicated and intwined with each other that he was sure no one could break it on their own.
As he was thinking, he sketched the object of his fascination. Bill had a kind of beauty, not in the way that was expected, though. His mind was the most captivating aspect, of course, but more and more, Ford found his thoughts drifting to Bill with strange consequences. The first time, he’d though it was merely intellectual infatuation. Surely it wasn’t sexual.
Ford had always been distant from the sexual side of himself. It wasn’t that he hated the idea so much. He simply didn’t feel what other people felt. Sure, men and women were both aesthetically attractive, he supposed. But he was never any more interested in them than he was in, say, a nice looking car, or the sound of church bells. Pleasant, but certainly not enough to set him off.
He’d had wet dreams, too, mostly in his late teens, just like anyone. But they were inherently non-sexual. Once he’d had a dream that he was peeing, and it turned out he had actually orgasmed in his sleep and not wet his pants at all, which had disturbed him at the time. To this day he wasn’t sure if it would have been worse that he actually wet the bed at that age or if it had been more uncomfortable that he had experienced a climax from that. He’d also had many dreams that he was experiencing some pleasant form of physical interaction- a hug, or an arm around his shoulder, and had ejaculated. This had been especially abhorrent when he entered college and was plagued by such dreams about Stanley. He remembered feeling despicable and disgusted with himself. Even if nothing in the dream was sexual by definition, his body had responded as if he were enjoying a sexual encounter. Naturally, he missed Stanley, but his relationship with his brother had certainly never been sexual and he had never wanted it to be! He had been Ford’s brother, his best friend! Sickened by his own sexual drive, he had never confided this secret to anyone, sure that he would be deemed even more of a freak than ever.
But soon Ford discovered that bodies simply needed to be used this way. He had researched a problem he’d been having with going to the bathroom right away when he was sure that he had finished, and came to the conclusion that for the sake of proper body functions, he had to masturbate. He had always treated it as a kind of chore, though. Something that had to be done, and was fine, just like washing the dishes or folding laundry. He had never fantasised about anything in particular. He preferred to just feel the touch and rush oncoming, his eyes shut and his mind focused entirely on the task until he had finished himself. Then he would clean up and continue about his day. After this his sexual dreams decreased even further, having never been what most men his age (including his own brother) had reported feeling themselves. Only once since then had he had a wet dream, and it involved him masturbating by himself. It was the most realistic sexual dream he’d ever had. Even up to a few months after he met Bill, he still didn’t fantasise while masturbating.
But then, his position on the matter changed entirely. His mind suddenly wandered away from what he was doing and he began to think of Bill. His heart hammered and his erection came on strong. He abruptly realized he had changed his pace, and even the way he was touching himself was different- more fingers, less full on hands. His thoughts were with the many limbs he’d seen Bill produce- tiny hands-
His fantasy had scared him and he stopped almost immediately. But that night he had a dream that was so intense that he woke up panting with a mess in his shorts. In it, he’d been meeting Bill in the mindscape, but without any explanation, Bill’s hands were wandering all over his body. His eye became lips as he’d seen Bill do to drink his tea, and he planted kisses all down Ford’s body, from his neck to his chest, pausing to suck at his nipples, down to his member. As the strange eye-mouth suckled the tip of his hard penis, Bill’s hands played with him, cupping his balls and stroking him. The whole thing had lasted maybe two minutes. He took a shower and noticed he was still hard. He felt such an intense shame.
Here Bill was, giving Ford knowledge no other humans- perhaps no other beings at all- were being given. Treating him with respect. Complimenting his cleverness. Giving him everything he needed to make the portal, and showing absolutely no sexual interest. His friend. His muse! He felt he had betrayed Bill’s trust. What sexual interest would an omnipotent deity like Bill have in humans anyway? He wasn’t sure Bill even had any sexual urges for even his own species. Perhaps his species was so evolved, they didn’t need or want to have sex!
And there was an underlying shame, something about himself, as well. All his life he’d struggled with the idea that he just didn’t feel attraction to anyone or anything. Despite reassurances that he would come to think woman were the end-all, he’d never felt that way. He’d tried his hand at flirting a few times and felt it wasn’t even worth it for what he would get back, which to him was nothing. For most males, sex was the reward of scoring the girl, but Ford simply wasn’t bothered.
He remembered Stanley once awkwardly asking him if he was gay. He had started off with a long-winded and stuttering speech about how he would love Ford no matter what and cared about his happiness. When the question came out, Ford didn’t know how to feel. A large part of him wanted to laugh. He didn’t feel any more attraction to men than he did to women! Another part of him was embarrassed. Had he been so obvious that even Stanley thought his lack of interest in women was due to an interest in men? He stared at his brother so long that Stanley launched back into his interlude about him not making any judgements about Ford. Finally, Ford had waved his hands at his brother and informed him frankly that he just wasn’t interested in sex. After that Stanley was a little awkward about talking about it in front of him. He asked if sex grossed Ford out, to which he replied “Eh,” and put his hand out, tilting it side to side and signalling it was so-so. No opinion. Whatever.
Stan had gone back to talking about girls a lot, which included talking about sex a lot, and Ford went back to reading and conducting experiments whenever Stan was rambling. Eventually Stan just learned not to be bothered by Ford’s strange behaviour. Like many other strange things about himself, Ford had learned to embrace this and even came to love it. These were things that made him different, yes, but also special. He even counted this enlightened lack of sexual drive to be among Bill’s compliments about his intellectual superiority! Though... Bill hadn't said any such thing... but, surely his ability to focus on his intellect and not on the things that drove most other humans was one of his greatest strengths!
So the question remained: why? All of the sudden he couldn’t stop himself from acting on his desires. One minute he would be working on the portal, pouring over the notes Bill had helped him with. The next moment his hands would be pumping his erection as he fantasised graphically about his mentor. In an especially shocking case, Ford had collected a rare statue of Bill that had been very difficult and pricy to obtain. Rather than appreciate it’s aesthetic and artistic quality, or even respect the fact that this was a statue of his friend and muse, his first action was to cum lewdly on it, moaning Bill’s name as he did so. After this event he showered for more than an hour, quietly crying in shame as he sat on the floor. The water ran colder and colder, as he punished himself with the freezing blast of it.
And then Bill had blessedly intervened. The next time he dreamt of Bill, it was the real things, not a fantasy of his mind. “What’s the MATTER, BRAINIAC?” His mentor asked Ford, as Ford pondered his next move in chess for a little too long. “You seem DISTRACTED.” It was a slight tease, and Ford jumped guiltily. He actually hadn’t been thinking about the board at all. He was watching Bill’s hand (he only had two at the moment) playing with a pawn he had scored. It twirled and tilted, and Ford's mind had wandered into dangerous territory. When he jumped, Bill’s eye widened and he said “WOAH there buddy! Kinda WORKED UP, aren’t ya?”
“Worked up?” Ford asked, though he knew, or thought he knew, what Bill meant. “I- I’m not… I’m fine.”
“YEESH,” Bill said “You are a TERRIBLE liar, IQ.”
Ford stared at his feet, sick with himself.
“Don’t look so DOWN. I’m just CURIOUS- a PENNY for your thoughts?” The entity conjured the piece of currency from nowhere and flicked it casually at Ford’s head, where it made contact.
“Ow, Bill!” Ford said, not really angry at all.
But without waiting for an answer, Bill followed his previous statement up with “Oh, I can just LOOK FOR MYSELF.” Ford barely had time to register the remark and look up, and before he could even protest, his thoughts were being broadcast across his dreamscape. All the horrible things he had done and thoughts he had had were splayed in open view. Bill’s eye narrowed.
“NO! NO, BILL, PLEASE! DON’T LOOK!” Ford begged, shielding his own eyes shamefully. Then the torture ended and everything turned slightly blue again. He heard laughter growing louder until it was a terrible echo, and buried his face in his hands.
“Oh, SIXER!” Bill said, as if he were getting a kick out of his. If Ford had been looking, he would have seen Bill wipe a tear from his eye. “Why so SHY, Fordsie?” He added. “I have to ADMIT, I’m a little FLATTERED, actually.”
Ford chanced a peek at Bill through his fingers, still blushing furiously. “You- you are?”
“SURE I AM!”
Ford stared at him in disbelief. “I… I don’t know what to say…”
“Anything you WANT, Sixer! Let’s have a party with THAT one RIGHT NOW!” His eye suddenly reflected the image of his own millions of hands roaming up Ford’s dick. Ford would have sobbed had he not been so shocked.
“Wha- you can’t be serious!”
Bill floated down to Ford’s level and wrapped an arm around his shoulder. “Oh, but I am! Let’s take another look at those fantasies! Oh, THIS ONE, am I right?” He jabbed a thumb towards the image of the statue being coated in slick white cum.
“Bill, please don’t… I’m so sorry…”
“HA! Sorry you got CAUGHT maybe!” Bill buried his hand into Ford’s hair next, resting there as if Ford’s shoulder and head were the epitome of comfort. “Mmm… this is nice, don’t you think? What can I SAY, I’m pretty INTERESTED to see where this is going. That is, IF you agree not to share our little SECRET with anyone.”
“You aren’t… disgusted?”
“HEY, just because you’re a lesser species doesn’t mean we can’t have a little fun. I mean, AFTER ALL, I like to get a little WEIRD every now and again. This DEFINITELY counts! It’s gonna be a GREAT experiment!”
Ford blushed harder, but for the first time, he dared believe that Bill wasn’t just joking. He liked jokes a lot. But he was considering this a learning experience, and Ford took that as his cue to see this as education as well. He felt much less guilty about his interest in Bill now that it was being phrased this way. Stanford shivered, starring straight ahead, not really looking at anything, but just letting possibilities spring into his mind. Something stirred in his body, and Bill said “Still thinking up your next move?”
“No…” Ford admitted slowly. “But Bill… you’re always saying I’m much unlike other humans.”
“You don’t agree?” Bill asked casually, as if the answer didn’t matter in the least.
“No, I do. But I thought you were, in part, referring to my lack of need for sexual conquest.”
“Wow, Brainiac. Leave the SAT words OUT OF it.” Bill said, but he continued nonetheless. “Anyway, I don’t care about things like your SEXUALITY, and even if I DID it wouldn’t matter. After all, what you fantasised about wasn't NORMAL either.”
A fair point, Ford thought.
“Shall we take a look into that BRILLIANT MIND one more time?” Bill said as he ruffled Ford’s hair and traced his jawline with one finger. It almost sounded like a threat.
“No need.” Ford said “Though I… I’m not sure how to… after all, this space isn’t actually real…”
“Does it have to be?” Bill asked, floating out in front of Ford with his hands behind his back, as if he were utterly comfortable talking about this. Stanford felt like an immature child all of the sudden. Why wasn’t he capable of simply discussing this like an adult?
“I.. does it?”
“OF COURSE NOT!” Bill said, “But if you’re looking for something more REAL, I got JUST THE THING!”
“I… I’m sorry… I don’t know what to do or.. or say-" Ford stammered apologetically, feeling like a failure. Here Bill was offering him everything, being overtly sexual, and he didn’t even know how to flirt back!
“What to say, huh? Just say YES.” Bill offered his hand, “I’ll make you a SEPARATE DEAL, Stanford. I’ll conduct an investigation of YOUR reproductive system, an you make some discoveries about MINE!” Bill said jovially.
Ford smiled sheepishly. “V-very well…” He took Bill’s hand, feeling like he was in a dream, which literally speaking, he was. “Are you sure about this?”
“SURE I’M SURE.” They shook, a blue fire igniting over their hands.
Almost at the same time that Ford had shaken his hand, he’d woken up outside of his own body again, hovering nearby.
“DISCOVERY, Fordsie. It really is SOMETHING.” Bill said in his own voice, and Ford blushed to see his own body splayed out, naked. “I’ve already examined this fleshsuit from TOP TO BOTTOM, LEFT TO RIGHT, and I’ve got to say I’m pretty PLEASED, STANFORD…” Bill said in a teasing voice. “But not NEAR as pleased as I’m gonna be NOW. I’m gonna take you APART tonight, baby!”
Ford squirmed. His out of body experiences had been daunting in their own way, and Bill had been possessing him more and more frequently. But they were also intoxicating in a way. Even if Bill hurt him on accident (as he often did, as careless with Ford’s flesh and blood as if it were painless to, say, get a second degree burn) he always felt closer to the entity once his body had been newly vacated. He wanted more of that, and Bill delivered.
But his body had never been used like this before, not even by himself. He was never naked when he reached climax. He just let his pants down, orgasmed, wiped himself off, trashed the tissue, washed his hands, and went to sleep. Methodical. Practiced, but not for pleasure. Surely no one else had ever come into contact with his naked body, either, other than for a check-up at the doctor’s office. Even though he wasn’t inside his body, he felt oddly exposed, though the... ghost of him, for lack of a better word, was fully clothed.
But Bill didn’t seem to notice his discomfort. He wrapped Ford’s hand around his own cock and began to play with the tip near the thumb. “Got anything wet for me?” He questioned.
It took him a few seconds to puzzle out what Bill meant. “You mean lubricant?” He asked.
“Uh, DUH, Brainiac!”
“In-in the drawer…” Ford managed.
Bill reached over to the drawer and pulled it out unceremoniously. He popped the lid off of the oil and squeezed it onto Ford’s hand until it was dripping. Ford went to tell him he didn’t need that much, but when his eyes met Bill’s it was clear that he was teasing Stanford.
“I’ll… give you some.. privacy…” Ford said uncomfortably.
“What? Where are you GOING, IQ?” Ford’s own eyes narrowed as if Bill was suspicious.
“I just thought-"
“You thought wrong- sit your ghostly ass down right there and watch me GO TO TOWN on this thing.” Bill demanded, pointing to the edge of the bed. Then he fisted Ford mercilessly. Ford winced, though he couldn’t feel anything. Usually he did anything Bill wanted, but this time it was making him uneasy. Unaccustomed to sexuality, it was too much to watch his own body participating in such a lewd act. There was a… chaos, perhaps was the right word.. a chaos to it, and he couldn’t imagine what Bill was doing would be pleasurable to him if he could feel it. Too rough. This time Ford chose to resist.
“Perhaps I ought not to-“
“SIT DOWN, STANFORD.” He started at the garbled and angry voice and sat down immediately, or did the equivalent of sitting. He’d never heard Bill sound like that, his voice deep and suddenly dangerous. But a second after he complied, Bill’s voice was normal again. “Good job, Forsie, now…Even I can tell you haven’t been treating your body with the proper care! OOOH! The SLIGHTEST TOUCH gives your whole BODY the shivers!” He said, clearly delighted.
“I… I’ve never really needed…” Ford began, but the sentence dropped clean out of his head when Bill reached his fingers right down between Ford’s legs and pushed two inside.
Bill gasped. “Wow! That’s the ticket! You should TRY this, IQ!” Ford felt like burying his eyes somewhere far from here. It was humiliating watching Bill do this to his body. He was mortified to hear Bill ask casually “So, what do you think~?”
“I… I know the prostrate gland is there, but I’ve never actually attempted….”
Bill cut him off to say, “Wow, that’s TIGHT.” Then he added, “Yeah, I’m not actually reaching that." about the prostrate. "HEY do you have one of those things humans like to stick in their orifices? Now THAT would be a kick!”
“No, I don’t! I don’t have anything here at all. I don’t really… I never really…” He was stuttering and blushing again. It was intolerable to be so exposed in front of Bill. But it was also... thrilling? It was humiliating. It was... titillating?
Bill paused his exploration of Ford’s body and looked slowly down at Stanford. Ford felt his nonexistent heart drop into his equally nonexistent stomach as the being contemplated him. “WELL, WELL, WELL, Could it be? Our brainiac here is an actual virgin! I could sacrifice you to any number of gods for the BIG BUCKS!”
Ford shivered. Something about the way Bill was looking at him…
“Well, I’m ready to POP THAT CHERRY, Sixer! But FIRST, I wanna hear you SAY it!”
“Say what?” Ford asked nervously, thinking he might just know the answer.
“Isn’t that the one million dollar question? I KNOW you know the answer! Get if wrong and I might have to-" That deep voice again, "TAKE IT OUT OF YOUR SKIN.”
There was a long pause as Ford tried to process Bill's strange behaviour. Then,“Yes, Bill, I’m a virgin.” Ford nearly whispered. It had stopped bothering him long ago, about the time he began feeling like this made him somehow special. Yet saying it to Bill was somehow still embarrassing.
“OH? And what do you want me to DO about that?”
“I thought this was an… exploration… a moment for discovery…” Ford couldn’t keep the accusation out his voice, though what exactly he was accusing Bill of, he didn’t know. Enjoying himself? Hardly a crime. And he had invited Bill to do just that, after all.
“I’m doing LOTS of discovery, aren’t you?” Bill said with just as much fire. “But if you feel that I’m OVERSTEPPING my bounds-“
“No, no! That’s not it at all!” Ford said quickly, feeling guilty.
“Besides, isn’t this what humans do? DIRTY TALK?” Bill said, a cruel edge in his voice.
“I don’t really know…” Ford admitted.
“It was a rhetorical question. The answer is yes.” Bill said irritably, as if Ford was stupid for not knowing, which he had to admit, maybe he was. Then Bill looked around the space. “Aha!” Swiftly, he guided Ford’s body to the work desk in the corner. “Just what the DOCTOR ordered.” He picked up a test tube from a row of them and laid back down on the bed, where he immediately slicked the glass with lube.
“Bill, what are you doing?!” Ford said in panic. “I’m not even sure those are clean!”
“Why’s that matter?”
“You can’t… if they have some kind of chemical or substance, you shouldn’t put it… inside of me!”
“How do you know I’m putting it INSIDE, Sixer? You asked me what I was doing~!”
“Bill, that’s just a phrase! My god! Bill, at least check it’s safe before-!” But that’s where the sentence ended.
“WHOOPS! I SLIPPED!” Bill said as he popped the glass tube into Ford’s anus, bottom first. Ford just stared at him, knowing whatever damage it was going to do, it had already done it. Bill laughed maniacally, then began to move the tube in and out “Let’s hope this doesn’t get stuck, hey, Fordsie?”
He knew it was physically impossible in his soul state, but Ford felt like he was going to pass out. He didn’t know what to do or say, so he just watched Bill move the tube in and out of his rectum, growing more and more vocal by the second.
“Oh, now THAT’S good! That’s REALLY good! Fordsie, you’ve GOT to try this next time. Think of me while you’re doing it! I think I’d like that.” He followed this statement with some deep moans as the tube moved in and out, and then took to describing it to Ford. “It’s like when you touch that spot, BOOM ELECTRICITY! Actually, this is quite interesting. Totally separate from the sensation when I’m doing something kinky in my REAL form. WOAH!” He had gone to sit up slightly to see Ford more distinctly and something had clearly felt amazing. Ford’s ghostly projection tensed, though it didn’t feel anything like tensing in his own body. Bill laughed again, then repeated the motion. “OH!” and again “OH!” He continued on this way for quiet some time, then said “ Hey Fordsie, you’ve had an- OH-HOHO! GOOD! - an ORGASM, right?”
“I…yes, I have.” Ford said honestly.
“POWERFUL?”
“I’m not sure. It doesn’t feel very powerful for me.”
“I feel all tingly back there.” Bill said gleefully.
“That doesn’t sound like-“
“Oh! OH! OOH OH!!” Ford’s body started to spasm powerfully as Ford watched Bill, and he started speaking his language fluently- a strange experience, as he was in Ford’s body and watching himself speak ciphers with such fluency was in itself strange. “LE LE LE LE LE! Kl, kl, qefp fp ABCFKFQBIV-!” The test tube shattered as Ford looked on in horror. “GNIMOC MI DROFNATS!!” Bill lay shivering on the blankets in total silence, Ford’s eyes closed and his sheets and half the floor covered with semen.
Stanford could scarcely believe what had just happened, and his head was screaming THE TEST TUBE BROKE THE TEST TUBE BROKE INSIDE!
After two or three minutes, Bill let out a huge groan. “Wow, Sixer! Feels mighty powerful to ME!”
“Bill the test tube…” Ford said numbly.
“Oh, THAT- yeah it doesn’t hurt THAT badly.” Bill said simply, “BESIDES, this really packs a punch! Feels WAY better than you implied back there!”
“Bill, please… the tube…”
“Oh, relax!” Bill said, and he began to rip the pieces out one by one, throwing them carelessly in a pile by Ford’s bed. Ford sat silently with his head down. Eventually Bill looked at him for a while, and though Ford wasn’t looking at him, he seemed to make his mind up about something. “Oh, common, Fordsie- maybe it will hurt a little but I had a great time with you.” He said in his usual, much more gentle, voice. “Your body is AMAZING! I can’t believe you don’t do this very often! Next time think of me and put something up here. Maybe you’d better invest in something. I might want to do that again.”
Ford’s head remained bent. “Hey, Sixer, you’re not mad at me, are you? It’s not like it’s the first time I was CARELESS with your physical form.”
“Oh, Bill… this was… I’m not comfortable with this.” Ford said breathlessly.
“What? Okay, WOW. Sorry I didn’t realise my presence wasn’t required!”
“It’s just you were so rough with me!” Ford said, his voice begging Bill even as he defended himself. “No, no, please don’t leave! I’m sorry!” He put his hands right through his own wrist trying to hold Bill down. “I just wish you’d be more gentle with my body. I’m only human! I’m sorry, I can’t help… how I feel.” He said the last part in such a defeated voice that Bill passed a hand through Ford’s head trying to fluff his hair.
“Oh shit.” He swore. “Sorry, Sixer, can’t comfort you now. If you HATED it so much-“
“It was fine until the tube snapped!”
“-why didn’t you just STOP me?” Of course, Bill considered, Ford wouldn’t know that he coudn’t have, and it might be just enough to get him to shut up about how mistreated he felt.
“I don’t want to eject you from my body, Bill!” Stanford said angrily. “I just want… I want… some dignity!”
Bill tried not to roll his eyes at this, and just barely succeeded. What did humans even do with dignity, anyway? I swear sometimes it’s all I can do not to hurt you, he thought, but he couldn’t say this aloud. Not yet. “You know the solution to THIS ONE, then, don’t you?”
“No?”
“Pay me back TENFOLD in the dreamscape, baby! We can have a great time in there! Just you, and me, and whatever WEIRD STUFF you want to get up to! I’m pretty much down for ANYTHING!”
“More than me, I’m afraid.” Ford said.
“Pay me a visit soon, IQ. I think I know EXACTLY what you’re looking for!” And with that, Bill vacated the body and Ford reclaimed it, bracing himself for maximum pain. But Bill had been right. It wasn’t that bad. In fact, he felt tired, lazy, relaxed, and warm. In short, he felt he had climaxed, but the sense was still going strong. It had never lasted a whole ten minutes before. He took some deep breaths, feeling the full effect. The pain was almost nothing. He took out the tweezers, but most of the shards were large and had been removed by Bill. He cleaned up the mess, realising he wasn’t bleeding badly, just a few spots. He’d been pretty lucky this time. He had no control whenever Bill inhabited his body, so as he cleaned the glass and cum stains from the floor, he thought of alternatives for Bill to use rather than shards of glass. He needed to get his mind off of the disgusting job of cleaning up after Bill, anyway. He’d never found the mess to be sensual, and even less now that there was so much to clean up, and covered in blood.
Naturally Bill had said he wanted to try this again, so something had to be done. Ford decided to ask Bill to lay some ground rules for sexual use of his body. There were a number of things he found unsavoury that he would like to avoid. And of course he needed to purchase something for Bill to play with, just as he’d mentioned. But the embarrassment of handling such an item by mail, or worse yet, going to get one, was too much for him. I’ll invent something instead. He thought.