Chapter Text
21:42
Hermione Granger made group chat “Charms class”
Pansy Parkinson was added
Draco Malfoy was added
Harry Potter was added
Neville Longbottom was added
Theodore Nott was added
Seamus Finnigan was added
Dean Thomas was added
Blaise Zabini was added
Ronald Weasley was added
Hermione Granger: I thought it might be a good idea to share our notes here so we don’t fall behind on out N.E.W.T’s since Professor Flitwitch fell ill
Ronald Weasley: But why did you have to add the Slytherins?
Neville Longbottom: Because they’re charming
Pansy Parkinson: Because we’re charming
Ronald Weasley: ╭∩╮(Ο_Ο)╭∩╮
Theodore Nott: Hpw dis you tho tat?
21;59
Blaise Zabini changed the chat name to “Charming with class.”
Hermione Granger: Ha ha ha
Hermione Granger: Very funny
Blaise Zabini: I know, I’m hilarious
Draco Malfoy: °·.¸.·°¯°·.¸.·°¯°·.¸.-> Fuck you <-.¸.·°¯°·.¸.·°¯°·.¸.·°
Dean Thomas: Jesus you’re so Extra™ Malfoy
Draco Malfoy: I do not know who this Jesus is you are talking about, but I can assure you I am more Extra™ than him
Draco Malfoy: Also Jesus is a stupid name, his dad must have really hated him
Harry Potter: Well he nailed him to a tree and left him there to die for our sins, so I guess you could say that
Dean Thomas: Wow people stop the presses, Draco Malfoy and Harry Potter agreed on something
Seamus Finnigan: You order the cake, I do the decorations? This rare occasion should be celebrated
Pansy Parkinson: What use is nailing someone to a tree? If you’re going with human sacrifice at least do it properly and pickle his balls
Hermione Granger: What. The. Actual. Fuck.
Harry Potter: I would love to pickle your balls @DracoMalfoy
Ronald Weasley: MY EYES! MY EYES!
Seamus Finnigan: OMG @HarryPotter TMI
Draco Malfoy: I find it very offensive that @HarryPotter wants to use me as human sacrifice and the only thing you people notice is the slight innuendo
Blaise Zabini: Slight innuendo my arse, @HarryPotter wants to hide your faggots
Draco Malfoy: What on earth is that supposed to mean?
Blaise Zabini is typing…
Hermione Granger: DON’T YOU DARE EXPLAIN THAT OR I WILL BE PICKLING YOUR BALLS TONIGHT ZABINI
Neville Longbottom: @DracoMalfoy's balls ===>arse=what @HarryPotter wants, apparently? Harry should we talk about this? Did someone give you the talk yet?
Harry Potter: SHUT UP NEVILLE YOU TYPED THAT MESSAGE
Harry Potter: HE STOLE MY PHONE
Harry Potter: I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE SEX WITH MALFOY
Draco Malfoy is typing...
Ronald Weasley: You keep telling yourself that mate
Blaise Zabini: And here I was thinking Longbottom was a sweet innocent cinnamon roll
Dean Thomas: Neville is a sin nammon roll. That guy is pure filth. Great sex ed though
Neville Longbottom: Thank you
Pansy Parkinson: Anything better than Snape explaining your menstrual cycle. I still have nightmares
Draco Malfoy is typing...
Dean Thomas: Is Malfoy shit at typing or…?
Theodore Nott: Ge id popafy cryin ib font of hid harty potret srine
Blaise Zabini: He’s sulking because @HarryPotter won’t have sex with him
Dean Thomas: Jesus @TheodoreNott are you trying to type with your feet?
Draco Malfoy:Is there tear gas in this room?
Because I can't stop crying
The gas crawls down my esophagus
And crushes my wounded heart.
“Merlin this hurts”
Draco Malfoy: Who is this jesus person?
Ronald Weasley: Ah @DracoMalfoy don’t cry, I saw a wonderful ferret at the pet store the other day, I’m sure she’d be willing to help ease your pain
Draco Malfoy: Wtf @RonaldWeasley I was being sarcastic
Draco Malfoy: Also I am gay
Draco Malfoy: And not into animals
Hermione Granger: That was a really good poem. I’m impressed
Theodore Nott: im in rhe gospitak wig bec @DracoMalfoy pooped acic potrion ovee me hanns
Theodore Nott send an image to “Charming with class.”
Neville Longbottom: Not cool @DracoMalfoy, not cool
Draco Malfoy: He had it coming, he insulted my hair
Theodore Nott: i sayd if loojed shinny
Neville Longbottom: Well it was looking a bit greasy today
Ronald Weasley: It reminded me of a blond snape
Draco Malfoy: A plague on both your houses
Neville Longbottom: We’re in the same house dumdum
Draco Malfoy:Thou art unfit for any place but hell.
Pansy Parkinson: Stop quoting Shakespeare, we already said you were Extra™ you don’t have to prove it
Pansy Parkinson: Also @RonaldWeasley and @NevilleLongbottom Draco just left the room so I would hide if I were you
Ronald Weasley: Fuck
Neville Longbottom: I was already going to visit @TheodoreNott anyway. If Malfoy beats me up at least I can stay the night
Hermione Granger: I feel like this chat is not serving its purpose
Pansy Parkinson: You are not serving your purpose
Pansy Parkinson: Which is bringing me a goodnight kiss, it’s nearly curfew
Hermione Granger: And that is a problem because…?
Hermione Granger: Unless you still haven’t fixed your bed after last time
Pansy Parkinson: ...
Pansy Parkinson: Never mind
22:56
Harry Potter changed the chat name to “Why are we always talking about sex these days.”
22:56
Draco Malfoy changed the chat name to “Hormonal teenagers.”
22:57
Neville Longbottom changed the chat name to “Hormonal teenagers and one innocent cinnamon roll.”
22:58
Draco Malfoy changed the chat name to “Hormonal teenagers and two innocent cinnamon rolls.”
22:59
Seamus Finnigan changed the chat name to “BANG BANG MOTHERFUCKERS and the two ugly virgins.”
23:01
Draco Malfoy changed the chat name to “Away, you three inch fool.”
Harry Potter: I don’t get it
23:04
Draco Malfoy changed the chat name to “Hormonal teenagers, one innocent cinnamon roll and one queen of sass.”
Harry Potter: But you’re a boy???
Draco Malfoy: ...
23:06
Draco Malfoy changed the chat name to “Hormonal teenagers, one brainless idiot and one queen of sass.”
Harry Potter: It is at times like these that I really notice my lack of a proper childhood
Harry Potter: Thanks for the reminder @DracoMalfoy
Draco Malfoy: Shit
Harry Potter left the group chat
Draco Malfoy added Harry Potter to the group chat
Harry Potter: Leave me alone
Harry Potter left the group chat
03:35
Blaise Zabini changed the chat name to “I think we’re all gay (and Draco fucked up).”