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Rip had been living with his roommate Jonah for almost a year now, and the two had become quite close. So close, in fact, that Rip had actually developed some more than friendly feelings towards his roommate, but he was too unsure what Jonah’s reaction would be if he told him about them. Best to keep quiet about the whole thing, he thought. These past two days had been even harder on his resolve, because Jonah had fallen sick. He had a fever and could barely get out of bed to use the bathroom, so Rip had to take care of him and that meant being around him a lot more than usual. It was ridiculous to be nervous, he knew, as an unconscious Jonah could hardly figure out how his friend felt for him. That being said, Rip was still worried. Looking at the clock, Rip realized it was time to bring Jonah some soup. He walked in Jonah’s room, carrying a tray, leaving it on the bedside table and turned around to wake Jonah up.
– Jonah? – Rip gently shook his roommate’s shoulder
– Mnnnnnghhhh, five more minutes, mom – Jonah mumbled and Rip wasn’t sure if he was still dreaming or simply feverish.
– No, Jonah it’s me, Rip. I brought you some soup, are you hungry?
– Rip? – Jonah raised his hand from under the blanket and reached out to grab Rip’s hand. This surprised the other man, but he went along with it anyway, catching his roommate’s wandering palm in his own.
– Yes, Jonah, what is it?
– Dontwanchugo – Jonah mumbled deliriously.
– What was that?
– Don’t want you to go – the sick man repeated himself and then, with surprising strength, pulled at Rip’s hand hard enough to get him off his feet and on the bed next to himself.
– Well, I don’t see why I can’t stay for a couple of minutes ‘till you fall asleep – Rip murmured to himself and then settled down on the bed. He felt a little guilty for doing this, but if Jonah wanted him to stay, well, you can’t really argue with someone bedridden with fever, now can you? Then Jonah said something absolutely earth-shattering as fever-induced gibberish goes.
– Love you.
Had the sick man had any control over the higher functions of his brain, he would’ve noted how effortlessly the words slipped out. As if he’d said them a thousand times before. As if he’d like to say them a thousand times more, and damn the consequences. Where his mind was, there were no consequences. There was just the calm, floaty feeling that had little to do with the fever, and everything to do with Rip being so close to him.
- · ·
When Jonah woke up he realized he could finally think clearly again – apparently, his fever had passed during the night. His next realization was not as pleasant – Rip was lying in bed next to him! Jonah was starting to panic, as he found himself holding the Brit’s hand. This untypically intimate contact had him questioning what else he could have given away about his feelings for Rip… and what that meant for their friendship in the long run. Would Rip hate him? From what Jonah knew of the man, he didn’t seem the type to shun someone over some sickness-induced indiscretion. Then again, who knows? In the best case scenario, there would be lingering awkwardness that would put strain on their relationship; in the worst… well, he would lose his friend. His dearest friend. The stakes were simply too high. Jonah was so busy freaking out over this, that he completely missed Rip’s awakening next to him as well as the fact that he was still holding his hand.
– Good morning! – Rip said, then noticed the agitated expression on Jonah’s face. – Hey, what’s with that look? Oh! – He had noticed their linked hands as well. - Look, sorry for freaking you out like this, but you wouldn’t let go of my hand last night when I came in to get you dinner. I guess I fell asleep after that.
– That’s… fine, it’s all fine. D-did I, um, did I say anything last night?
– Oh, well, I think you only mentioned not wanting me to go, but other than that, not really. – Hearing that Jonah just closed his eyes and groaned at how embarrassingly he’d acted last night. He’d probably acted like nothing short of a love-struck buffoon. Hang on a minute… love-struck? Where had that come from!? ”Careful with that word there, Hex”, he thought to himself. “No need to entrench your ass in that sort of mess” Before he could contemplate just what sort of mess he risked entrenching himself into, he noticed how quiet Rip had gone. Not the companionable quiet friends tend to share over a subject being done with and closed. No, it was the awkward, sticky silence of something huge being left out of the story. It was unbroken save for the rustle of Rip’s visible fidgeting. The other man couldn’t seem to focus his gaze on anything in particular and was throwing Jonah glances out of the corner of his eye. And Jonah was by no means a genius, but he could tell when he was being lied to.
- Rip – he took a deep breath – Is there something you’re not telling me?
His friend visibly tensed, and that was all the indication he needed. He sighed and buried his head in his hand. – Look… whatever it is I did, or said, I’m sorry. I probably made you uncomfortable… but you shouldn’t be, you know? Tell you what. Let’s pretend last night never happened. Don’t… - he swallowed to cover up the crack in his voice – Don’t quit being my friend over it, okay? Just forget about it.
– I’m sorry, Jonah, but this is just too big to ignore – Rip said honestly.
– Oh… - So that’s how it’s going to be. - O-ok, then, um, I guess I’ll start looking for a place as soon as I’m up on my feet again…
– What the hell are you talking about? Who said anything about moving out? – the Brit was honestly shocked even at the mere suggestion of Jonah leaving.
– W-well, you said that it was too big to ignore, I thought you meant…
– You can be such an idiot sometimes, I swear. It’s really… adorable in a way.
– A-adorable? – Jonah was wondering if he heard that right, had Rip just called him adorable? He could feel the heat in his cheeks, he was most certainly blushing.
– Yes, adorable, just like that blush on your face right now. You’re really cute when you’re flustered. You know, if you weren’t fucking contagious right now I would kiss you, but until you’re all healed up you’ll just have to settle for this – Rip said as he pulled up their still intertwined hands, which Jonah had forgotten about during his freak-out, and he kissed his hand. He felt his heart flutter and he realized he hadn’t been this happy in a long time. So happy, in fact…
- Hey, Rip?
- Mm?
- If I’m, as you put it, “fucking contagious”, does that mean you… caught feelings?
- Do me a favor, Hex, and piss off before I make you catch some other things.
“This”, thought Jonah briefly as they both dissolved into hysterics, “might be worth being contagious over”.