Chapter Text
Clarke and Lexa fell madly in love when they were 15 years old. Clarke had just transferred to Lexa’s high school and the green eyed girl was assigned to help her around school. They quickly realized their attraction to each other and almost immediately started dating. They became the town darlings in their small California town.
Then Lexa got pregnant at 17 with their first daughter Raven. Clarke supported her and loved her and they got married shortly after their baby girl was born. Their marriage was strong and somewhere along the way they had two more kids, Aden and Tris. Aden is 14 now and Tris is 6.
Somewhere along the way, they start communicating less. Clarke is stressed at work as a architect. Lexa works as a book editor. They pour themselves into their kids and their work and eventually they forget about each other. It feels like a broken record.
Lexa goes in day in and day out tired. She’s tired of missing her wife. Clarke is always there for the kids, but she feels like she hasn’t been seen by her wife in years. They’re 42 years old and Lexa feels like they’ve been stuck for years now. Clarke doesn’t see it though.
Clarke is too busy with her work and the kids. She doesn’t pay attention to Lexa. Everything is a routine. Every Monday, Clarke picks up Aden from school and coaches his soccer team. They have games on Saturday afternoons. On Tuesdays and Wednesdays, she stays late at the office so she usually misses dinner. On Thursdays, she picks up Tris from ballet. Sundays are family day. And Friday nights are date night. Every Saturday, Clarke takes Lexa to the same italian restaurant that they have been going to for the last decade.
Clarke orders the eggplant parmigiana and a glass of wine. Lexa orders the chicken marsala and two glasses of wine. Sometimes they get the tiramisu. Their lives are planned down to every minute and Lexa hates it. They barely have sex anymore.
The kids go to Grandma Indra’s every third Saturday a month. Clarke and Lexa have sex sometimes on that day. It’s routine. Lexa feels like she’s just another checklist off Clarke’s to do list. Lexa has been unhappy for quite some time now.
She has tried to liven up their time in the bedroom but Clarke has been resistant, too busy. Lexa tried to plan a romantic vacation for just the two of them for next month but Clarke said she was too busy with a project for work. Lexa tries but now she’s tired of trying. She’s just so damn tired.
“I’m thinking the eggplant parm for tonight.” Clarke mumbles while looking at the menu that has been the same since the first time they came in here all those years ago.
Lexa stares at the bread bowl in deep thought. She can’t do this anymore.
“Hmm maybe we should get tiramisu for dessert.” Clarke says, staring at the menu as if she’s reading the menu for the first time. “What do you want?”
Lexa stares at the bread, unresponsive. Clarke distractedly looks up from her menu. “Babe, I said what do you want?”
Lexa finally tears her eyes away from the bread and stares at her wife. Clarke looks tired too. She didn’t bother to change out of her work out. Her suit is probably a size too big for her. Her hair is in a clean bun, her blonde hair showing a couple greys. Lexa remembers when Clarke was young and happy. Clarke used to be so passionate and loving. She hasn’t seen that side of her wife in so long.
“I want a divorce.” Lexa says quietly, barely above a whisper.
“What?” Clarke says, unable to hear Lexa over the music in the restaurant.
“I said I want a divorce!” Lexa shouts loud enough that a good portion of the restaurant probably hears.
Clarke looks shocked. Lexa shakes her head and puts her napkin on the table before hurriedly exiting the restaurant. She waits outside in the driver’s seat of their car until Clarke comes out. The blonde comes out five minutes later, presumably after paying the check.
Lexa observes Clarke. The blonde looks even more tired now. Her shoulders are hunched and her eyes are unreadable. Clarke wordlessly gets into the car and puts her seat belt on. Lexa bites her lip, observing her wife.
“I paid the bill. We can leave now.” Clarke says calmly. Lexa swallows hard. Did Clarke not hear her? Lexa just nods and starts the car, pulling out of the parking lot.
Lexa keeps looking over at her wife nervously. Should she tell her? She’s not sure what good it will do. When Clarke gets quiet like this, Lexa always starts to have word vomit and starting nervously talking.
“My coworker kissed me last week.” Lexa blurts out when they are at a red light, looking at Clarke. Clarke tenses a little but other than that, her face is neutral.
“I..her name is Costia Angelo. It was that night we had that huge fight about you working late all the time. She’s a fellow book editor, just transferred in a few months from our Toronto branch. I stayed at the office late and I was so upset about our fight. She comforted me and I guess she got confused about what we were. I don’t know but um she kissed me.” Lexa nervously talks really fast.
“Please stop talking. I don’t want to hear this.” Clarke says in a pained voice.
“Clarke..I’m so sorry. I don’t want this divorce because of her. It’s not about Costia. It’s about us. We are broken,” Lexa says.
“I’m going to jump out of the car if you don’t stop.” Clarke says tiredly.
“Clarke, be fucking serious for a second. She kissed me and...and well I kissed her back. It felt so nice to be wanted again. I kissed her but then I stopped it really soon after. I felt so dirty and wrong. I’m so sorry. But we are broken. We haven’t been us for a long time. I would have never imagined that-”
As Lexa continues to explain herself, Clarke waits until Lexa is slowing down at a yellow light and undoes her seatbelt. She opens her door and rolls out of the car, unwilling to hear anymore.
“Holy Shit! Clarke!” Lexa screams out worriedly, slamming on her break. Lexa puts the car in park and runs out of the car to see the blonde dusting herself off.
“I’ll do whatever you want. I’ll move out first thing in the morning. Just please. Stop talking about Costia and whatever else.” Clarke says in a pained voice. Lexa bites her lip and looks away, her heart aching. She thought maybe Clarke would say more than this. But I guess she was right. They are broken beyond repair.
Lexa nods and they both get into the car driving home in silence.