Chapter Text
Something’s off. Not wrong, necessarily, but different, and you’re pretty sure you know what it is.
Yoongi told you, a few months ago, about his Weird Brain Shit™ (his words, not yours; he even said the trademark out loud). Handed you a brochure about Dissociative Identity Disorder and looked at you like he was trusting you-- said, we-- most of us who care think you’re safe, so. please, um--
He went silent after that as you read the brochure, and then when you asked, oh so gently, if he gave it to you because it applies to him, he hesitated, shook his head, and then nodded. You nodded back and said, okay. i'm glad you feel like you can trust me. i love you, always.
His face broke into a smile, and he tipped over to snuggle into your side, and the rest of that evening was just-- soft. The next morning he handed you a list written out on graph paper in sort of smeared pencil, and said, that’s, um. that’s all of us, all of us who want you to know about them. and some stuff about telling apart the ones who don’t talk.
You think that that’s who’s here now-- one of the ones who doesn’t talk, that is.
“Hi,” you say, gently, and their gaze jerks over to meet yours. Their face lights up in excitement, and they look away, still not saying anything. “Are you someone different?”
The person nods, and opens their mouth as if to speak, but then closes it again, seeming frustrated. Yoongi’s list said most of the nonverbal ones won’t try to talk, but that Lilly is used to being able to talk, and just has a hard time around new people.
“Are you Lilly?”
Her eyes light up, and she nods, smiling, so you smile too.
“Do you know why you’re here?”
She shakes her head shyly, and then speaks up,
“Nah. No, not sure why. Just, um, glad I am?”
“Okay,” you say. “Well, I’m glad you are, too. It’s nice to meet you, Lilly. Am I saying your name right?”
Lilly giggles, and nods, and your heart clenches, because what the fuck, she’s adorable. She’s sort of jittery, bouncing with nervous energy, and it’s hard not to like her, since she’s so obviously excited about meeting you.
“Yeah. Hi, I’m Lilly and I like fairies!”
She looks so excited, and it's honestly so endearing.
“Fairies?”
“Fairies!” she agrees, grinning. “They’re just super pretty. And butterflies.”
Over the course of that conversation with Lilly, you learn that her favourite colour is a very specific shade of blue violet, and that she’s scared of heights (to the point that she gets anxious on bunk beds and about standing up on chairs) but still likes to climb trees. She apologises midway through for being bad at eye contact, but you wave the apology away and tell her you don’t really mind. She smiles, looking at her hands.
When Yoongi gets back, he seems nervous, even after you reassure him that you don’t see him any differently. You try not to take it personally; there was a section of the brochure that talked about the stigma of the whole thing, so it makes sense for him to worry about it. He doesn’t need to worry, but-- he doesn’t know that.
It kinda sucks, but it’s also gotta be uncomfortable for him. You notice him wince every time you open your mouth to speak. He’s just waiting for you to start being mean to him, and it hurts your heart to see him so vulnerable. You’re determined to respect him.
“Hey,” you say, quietly, and he looks up, an expression of grim resignation on his face. “Let me know if I do anything insensitive, okay? I’ll listen, I promise.”
He swallows, and looks away, but slips his hand into yours and squeezes.
“Thank you,” he says.
“I love you, always,” you remind him, and he smiles.
“I love you.”