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"Number 3, give number 6 a lap dance."
Everyone looks down at their sticks, then there is a sudden silence and the sound of a stick snapping.
"Kagamicchi!" Kise pouts and reaches out to take the broken wood. "That's the fourth stick you've broken already. We're gonna run out soon!" He looks down at the broken stick in his hand as he pulls out a new one. "Oh, number 3."
The rest of the room dissolves into horrified snickers and awkward coughs. "So who's getting a lap dance from Kagami then?"
No one speaks for a few seconds and everyone double checks their sticks. Kise's about to pull out another stick and anull this round (because they lose sticks a lot, so maybe no one got the 6 this time) when Momoi pipes up.
"Oh, Dai-chan, you got number 6! Why didn't you say anything?"
It is at this moment that Aomine decides Satsuki has to die.
The group processes this before the less mature members (i.e. most of them) try to smother their laughter.
"Well, get on with it then!" Kise's grin wouldn't have looked out-of-place on Satan himself. "The King commands it!" He waves his 'K' stick around gleefully.
And Kise. Kise was also going to die a very bloody, painful death. Then in a whirlwind of motion, everybody's moving, laughing and shoving till something lands in his lap.
Someone lands in his lap. Kagami is in his lap.
He chokes.
Tetsu is also going to die because he absolutely knows that this was Tetsu's fault. It always is.
Kagami's trying to protest now. Aomine would also be protesting if he weren't plotting the murder of every single person in this room.
"Of course not Kagami-kun. It's just a game." Tetsu would die first.
Kagami scrambles for excuses. Come on Bakagami...
"I– I don't know how." That's it? That's all he could come up with? That'll never be enough to deter Ki–
Kagami moves in his lap and suddenly breathing gets very hard.
"I don't know how to... to do– that."
The peanut gallery looks unamused and Kise frowns. "What, really? You have to know something." Kagami shakes his head violently, and his hair brushes his face.
Kagami smells really good.
Fuck.
"You've never watched–"
"No."
"Not even–"
"No."
Aomine would probably be laughing his ass off at Kagami if the bastard wasn't a very warm presence on his lap.
There's a stilted silence before Satsuki (she'll die second) speaks. "Well that's okay. Dai-chan can teach you." WHAT.
"He watches that kind of stuff all the time."
"Satsuki!" It's not that he's embarrassed about his porn, but rather that he doesn't want Kise to get any ideas. Also, he really shouldn't be thinking about porn right now.
"Oh please Dai-chan, I've seen all your porn."
"SATSUKI!"
Wrinkly grannies in their underwear, wrinkly grannies in underwear...
"Oh fine." Kise sighs gustily, standing up and stalking over. "I guess I'll coach you through it." Everyone's eyes focus on him and he shrugs. "I've seen it enough to know the basics. Stand up Kagamicchi."
Kagami doesn't move and Kise's lips turn up. "Unless you want to stay in Aominecchi's lap."
No, Kise would die first. As an example. An example to how very bad an idea this was.
"Alright." Kise brushes his hair back and pushes Kagami to stand directly in front of Aomine. "Now rock your hips." At Kagami's blank stare, Kise raises his arms above his head and sways his hips sensually. It's kinda hot, but that's the status quo when it comes to Kise.
Kagami still doesn't move, even with Kise's 'go on' motion and Hyuga loses his patience. "The longer you stand there, the longer this is going to take Kagami." Kasamatsu nods with him. Neither captain wanted to be here and the faster they got this over with, the faster they could leave.
They would die fourth.
These words force Kagami into action. Sucking in a deep breath, he squeezes his eyes shut and full-body jerks from side to side, hands clenched tight. It's about as attractive as a rotten fish which is really, really good (for Aomine anyway).
"That was..."
"Well, he tried..."
Maybe if he just didn't pay attention. Like, tried to fall asleep. Yeah.
"M-maybe we could just... skip this round?" Ryou would be spared.
"No." Maybe.
Kise narrowed his eyes briefly before smiling again (that didn't bode well) and continuing on. "Now run your hands up your body." When Kagami still doesn't move, Kise performs another demonstration. Sliding his legs open a bit, Kise places his hands on his thighs and drags them slowly up his body, arching into his own hands before tousling them in his hair and making a blissful expression. A few people choke, which is completely understandable, because... well, Kise.
Kise looks expectant, Kagami doesn't move and Aomine starts looking around the room for his murder weapon.
Then Kagami starts moving and things get really bad.
Resolutely keeping his eyes on the floor, Kagami pulls his hands higher, going up over his sides, teasing across his pecs, sliding to the back of his neck and then combing through his hair, all while shying away from his own touch. He's also blushing.
This is bad.
"Not bad Kagamicchi." No, this was really bad.
Bakagami's looking at him and it takes all his willpower not to look back.
"Do we really have to do this? Can't we just skip–"
"No, this is going to happen." He' s still not looking at anything, but the vehemency in Kise's voice is almost surprising. He didn't know Kise hated him this much.
Kagami's really blushing now, Kise's a bastard, Tetsu's a bastard and Satsuki is also a bastard, somehow. Seirin looks pathetic, nobody cares about Kaijou, Ryou looks like he wants to cry (and probably will) and Wakamatsu looks like his birthday came early.
Imayoshi just keeps smiling.
Their deaths will be the most violent.
Kise's voice is an unpleasant reminder. "Well, Kagamicchi's hair is too short to do that, so the next step would be to start stripping–" No. No, no, no, This is BAD "–but we're not gonna go that far." Thank sweet merciful mother.
"So, now..." Uh oh. "... get between Aominecchi's legs, Kagamicchi." Fuckity fuck fuck. And a another fuck for bad luck because Kagami's appraising his legs now like he's actually going to do it–
And then Kagami is on tops of him (oh god, bad image, bad image), arms on either side, knee pressing between his legs and looking just as shocked as he is.
"That's it Kagamicchi!" The way Kagami looks up tells him that he definitely didn't plan this and–
Tetsu's smiling.
There's no way he would use Misdirection for–
... he would.
Kagami looks like he's having a panic attack. Aomine also feels like he's going to have a panic attack.
"Now touch him lightly, Kagamicchi. Make sure you keep eye contact."
Panic in three, two...
Like a magic force, Kagami's eyes suddenly meet Aomine's and become locked in gaze.
... isn't red the colour of passion?
"Remember, Aominecchi can't touch you back~!" As if he would! Well, maybe... No!
Something brushes his cheek and his heart jackrabbits and Kagami's hair and face and eyes are all red and red is actually a really nice colour and Kagami's eyes are half lidded like when he goes into the zone and he needs to stop that trail of thought right fucking there do not go any further—
Kagami's fingers trace his jaw, then smooth down is neck...
... his hands are calloused...
... over his shoulder and onto his arm.
... his hands are really warm...
Then Kagami licks his lips and all his blood goes south.
... Kagami has a really pretty mouth...
"Now sit down Kagamicchi." Kise's voice sounds distant, and Kagami slowly moves to comply, and it's horribly, distractingly sexy. His knee pushes at Aomine's inner thigh and not making a sound is suddenly the hardest thing's he's ever had to do in his life. He grips the armrest for dear life and the wood groans dangerously when Kagami finally sits in his lap.
"Keep going."
There's a hand on his arm and a hand on his neck and Kagami's leaning forward. He can feel his breath on his lips, feel him moving forward on his thigh, feel his knee sliding towards his—
Fuck.
He was hard.
Kagami's knee brushes his goddamn erection?! and then his hands tighten almost painfully before his eyes roll back into his head and he falls.
-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-
Aomine tenses up as Kagami falls onto him, face pressing into his neck and goes completely limp. There's a few seconds of confusion in the room, but when Kagami continues to lay there like a cut puppet despite Aomine jostling him, he releases the hand grip to grab Kagami's shoulders. Pushing him back, it becomes clear to everyone that Kagami has fainted.
A few people laugh, a few people sigh, but the main reaction is stupefaction.
Because honestly, who does that?!
Kise and Kuroko look faintly annoyed (well, as annoyed as Kuroko can look) and Momoi looks disappointed.
"That's too bad." Kise sighs, shaking his head. "Well, maybe next year Aominecchi." And if Aomine hadn't been trying to hide the boner of the century, he would've gotten up and punched him in the face. He was though, so he settled for a few choice swears and a(n ever-present) basketball to the face.
"I didn't want this anyway!"
Except for the recent discovery that he really, really did.