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Katsuki keeps starting fires. Well, let’s reword that. He keeps setting off the fire alarms. He doesn’t always start fires. Sometimes he leaves his dinner on the stove for way too long or accidentally lights a candle underneath his smoke detector. He accidentally pulled the building fire alarm with his umbrella last week (don’t ask) and he may or may not have started a couple of actual fires as well—he really doesn’t know how the tiny grease fire in his kitchen started. And it just so happens that the fire alarm is going off right now.
It also just so happens that the blonde is standing on a chair under his smoke detector, having a stare off with his red-headed neighbor who has just walked in on him waving a lit piece of paper around a few inches from it.
“What the hell are you do-“
Just before Kirishima can finish his question, the sprinklers start up. He sighs, his hair starting to give in to the water, falling around his face.
“I thought we were done with this.”
And so Bakugou might have left out the part where he’s been purposely causing these stunts. But he swears he has a reason. It’s for a good cause.
“Fuck off, Misty,” the blonde growls at Kirishima, offering his nickname in homage to Misty from the Pokemon series.
Kirishima isn’t having it.
“You’re going to get evicted if you keep pulling this shit, Baku.”
Katsuki just rolls his eyes, hopping down from the chair and quickly moving it back to it’s designated spot under the dark mahogany kitchen table.
“Aizawa won’t do a fucking thing as long as I keep paying my goddamn rent.”
The pair begins walking out, filing in line with the rest of the apartment complex as they casually exit the building. When this first started happening, Bakugou can remember screaming and pushing and belonging-grabbing. But now, it’s almost like a high school fire drill. He hears Jirou and Momo, the couple that lives directly above him complaining back and forth.
“This is the third week in a row!”
“Seriously, they need to confiscate anything that can be used to make smoke from him. I’m sick of being disrupted every couple days.”
When Bakugou tries to intimidate them by snapping his head to look directly at the two, they don’t back down. Alright, so maybe this good cause doesn’t include helping people other than himself, but the blonde has always been known to be a bit selfish—okay, a lot selfish. And holy fuck if he isn’t being helped in the next ten minutes when the fire department shows up and he steps out of the truck.
Just some backstory.
Katsuki works this really stupid office job. Just got it last year. Really fucking stupid.
He didn’t mind it until he found himself standing next to a water dispenser one morning, drinking coffee and gossiping with his coworker Ochaco about her upcoming wedding to his boss, Tenya, hearing himself say the words ‘she did NOT’ like he was in some fucking sitcom. That’s when he decided it was really fucking stupid.
Anyways.
Apparently, every year, the company holds a safety week where they go over active shooter drills, CPR classes, and fire safety.
Bakugou was honestly minding his own damn business, wallowing in his own self-pity when this fucking guy walks in wearing firemen’s pants and suspenders over the tightest gray T-shirt Katsuki’s seen in his life and how dare he. He’s got the whole doe-eyed and innocent thing going for him and has the blonde wrapped around his finger the second he takes off his hard hat, unleashing the shiniest, curliest green hair.
“Hey everyone! My name’s Izuku Midoriya and I’m a-“
Katsuki doesn’t listen to a damn thing the man says after his name, instead focusing on the way the fabric of his T-shirt stretches over perfectly muscular pectorals and wondering what it’s like to fuck a fireman.
So long story short, Bakugou’s been going above and beyond to see the man in action ever since then. At least once a month, for almost a year.
“Ya know, I wouldn’t even have a problem with this if you would just make a move!”
If murder wouldn’t put him behind bars and unable to see Izuku in action, Kirishima would have been dead a long time ago.
“I have to fucking wait. Can’t just rush this stuff, dick for brains.”
“It’s been almost a year,” the redhead exclaims loud enough for the entire block to hear.
Katsuki lands a tap on his balls within what seems like milliseconds, Kirishima doubling over in what seems to be excruciating pain.
~
It has to be almost an hour until the crew, including Midoriya, file out of the building and Thank God, they send the green-haired man as a representative. He’s very chipper towards the very unenthusiastic crowd of people who just want to go back inside.
“Hey, guys! Everything’s fine! Nobody’s hurt and there’s not a fire currently. Who lives in 301?”
And holy shit this is Katsuki’s moment. Kirishima, who has apparently made a full recovery, pushes him forwards.
“I do.”
He almost expects a pastor to ask Midoriya if he also takes Katsuki to be his lawfully wedded husband. Instead, he gets a hand gesture which clearly means ‘come here for a private talk’, This is it. Izuku’s about to ask him on a date and Katsuki’s gonna find out what it’s like to plow a fireman.
“Hey man—and don’t take this the wrong way—but, did you set off the alarm on purpose?”
Bakugou has to grit his teeth to keep his jaw from dropping.
“What the fuck’s that supposed to mean?”
Izuku throws his hands up in defense.
“I’m sorry. I’m sorry. It’s just,” Sigh. “We found this on the table and it looks kind of intentional.”
He’s holding the paper with very clearly deliberate burn marks on it.
Katsuki sputters out some horrifically offended answer that sounds like no but definitely screams yes. Midoriya looks skeptical but offers the blonde a kind smile and a pat on the shoulder.
“Alright! Thanks…?”
“Katsuki. Uh. Katsuki Bakugou.”
“Thanks, Katsuki. I’ll see you around.”
Bakugou immediately heads back to his room to sop up the water that covers his linoleum floor and delve way too far into Izuku’s words. See me around? When does he want to see me? I have to get him back here ASAP.
~~~~~~~~~~
Over the next month, Katsuki gets creative but if someone asks Kirishima he’ll probably disagree.
“Let me start a fire in your apartment this time.”
“No.”
“Will you start the fire?”
“No”
“We can just pull the alarm.”
“No.”
“Well, then can I borrow your cat? Firefighters respond to cats in fuckin’ trees, right?”
“Baku, if you even think about touching Riot, you’re dead to me.”
Katsuki decides that the universe is on his side when he finds a literal cat in a literal tree later that week. His theory is further confirmed when the fire department sends Midoriya by himself to retrieve the cat.
“You again?”
Izuku has an incredibly wide grin on his face and Katsuki is ready to die.
“Guess I can’t help it. Shit just follows me around.”
It’s a very quick mission and the blonde feels some type of emotion he’s not used to feeling—AKA it’s not fueled by his sex drive—as he looks at the fireman holding onto the cat, coddling it.
“What’s her name?”
Oh shit. Izuku thinks this cat is his.
He goes to tell him that the cat is indeed not his when Midoriya nuzzles into the animals face, cutting off Bakugou.
“I love cats so much.”
And before Katsuki can stop himself, he’s blurting out, “Me too. I have three. That one’s name is…”
Red eyes dart around, looking at store signs and stop signs and even Izuku’s name tag. Does that read Deku?
“King. It’s uh- King.”
This puts an excited look into Midoriya’s eyes.
“King, huh? You’re a real cutie! I didn’t know you had cats! Must have completely missed the signs while we were investigating your apartment.”
Bakugou may or may not completely ignore his comment. He collects the cat from Izuku’s arms, trying to play off the fact that the newly-named King begins to freak out, clawing at his arms and almost pushing Bakugou to throw the goddamned thing back in the tree. Almost.
Come on. Make some type of small talk. Don’t just let him fucking leave.
“Anyone call you Deku?”
When the green-haired man furrows his eyebrows and cocks his head to the side, Katsuki feels his chest tighten.
“No, why?”
“Your uh, name. It can be read as Deku.”
They both look down at his nametag.
“Oh, I guess it can!”
Katsuki reaches deep inside of him to pull out some of his old high school flirting tactics and-
“Guess I gotta start callin’ you Deku, then.”
-he comes up empty-handed.
“Well, I guess I’ll have to give you a stupid nickname too, Kacchan.”
What the fuck?
What the actual fuck. So you’re telling Bakugou that he’s been setting off smoke detectors and pulling fire alarms for almost a year just in order for this—this man to give him a kid nickname. He really wishes it didn’t make his stomach do somersaults. He wants to sit and talk to Izuku for hours, convince him to quit his job on the spot and move to the fucking Bahamas with him, but Midoriya quickly explains that he has to get back and offers Bakugou better luck in the future.
Kirishima has no words when Katsuki asks him to accompany the blonde to the animal shelter where he plans to pick up two more cats.
~~~~~~~~~~
“Do you think he’s even gay?”
“Doesn’t have to be gay, shitdick.”
“Alright. Do you think he’s even into men?”
Katsuki and Kirishima are sitting on the recently ripped up couches in the former’s living room. The blonde is surprised to find that he doesn’t necessarily hate the cats, apart from the fact that they have ruined his furniture, especially if they one day aid in the getting together of him and Midoriya.
“Fuck off.”
“All I’m saying, Baku, is that it’s going to be really shitty if you’ve been dedicating all of your energy into seeing this man and he doesn’t even swing this way. For christ sake, you have three cats now! Not one. Three!”
“We’re cat people now.”
Kirishima just collapses over the arm of the couch, letting out something between a sigh and a groan.
“Whatever.”
~~~~~~~~~~
It’s a Monday evening, after work when Bakugou realizes he’s out of cat food. This results in him deciding to full out grocery shop. Kirishima’s busy doing god knows what, which is why the blonde is currently perusing the aisles alone. He’s really minding his own god damn business when he hears it.
“There’s my little arsonist.”
And he is not little, goddamnit. But the second he turns around he decides that he will be as little as Midoriya wants him to because the man is walking directly at him.
Casual.
“Sup Deku?”
“I was literally just talking about you!”
Katsuki can feel the heat pooling across his cheekbones and he’s trying to come up with a response that’s just flirty enough when-
“Shouto! Come here.”
And the most attractive tall and skinny and artsy looking guy (if you’re into that stuff, which Katuski is not) comes around the corner. Seriously, this guy just screams ‘I’m really sensitive and write poetry about all the wrongs of the world in my free time’. It makes the blonde fuckin’ sick.
“Todoroki, this is Katsuki, that guy that lives down the street from us where all the fires happen! Katsuki, this is Todoroki, my-“
He literally can’t do it right now.
“Sorry. I’m in a huge hurry!”
He musters his best polite smile which is a huge challenge because Bakugou rarely smiles at all in the first place if it’s not in an antagonizing way. He dips around the aisle, leaving his grocery cart unattended and the two men speechless. His cats eat leftovers that he’s had in the fridge for dinner that night.
~~~~~~~~~~
The fires stop. For weeks. Katsuki gets used to not hearing the fire truck coming around the corner and not having to mop his floor at least once a week.
“At least we know he’s into guys,” Kirishima had said the night of the incident.
“At least we know he has a fucking boyfriend. They shop together which probably means they live together, Eijirou.”
Katsuki hates the look Kirishima gives him because it’s pure pity. Probably from the fact that he rarely ever calls the redhead by his first name.
“Come on man. There’s plenty of other hot guys around. Have you checked out the rest of the fire department? I’m sure we cou-“
“Please leave.”
He’s thankful when Kirishima obeys. That’s why the two mesh so well together because they never push each other.
At least that’s what Bakugou thinks because just as he’s about to take a sad nap, he hears a familiar beeping.
“What the fuck,” can be heard vaguely as he groans into his pillow, thinking about just waiting the drill out in his room but deciding to leave anyway.
Katsuki scoops the three cats up in order of King, Explosion, and Murder and sulks outside with the rest of the tenants. He hadn’t bothered to put a shirt on, so the chilly autumn air shocks his senses. Surprisingly, the fire department arrives within minutes and Katsuki has to turn his head so he doesn’t see his ex-infatuation.
So there he is, three cats draped over his left arm, the opposite hand on his hip, facing away from the building and just wanting to go back inside.
“You!”
He sees Momo trying to hold back her girlfriend but her attempts prove futile.
“I am so sick of you ruining our off days; How inconsiderate can one person be!”
“Listen here, punk reject, I didn’t do shit today. I was minding my fuckin’ business just like everyone else.”
Jirou steps up to get in his face when she spots something over his shoulder.
“No way.”
Katsuki turns around, shocked to see a completely drenched Kirishima emerging from the building walking side by side with none other than Izuku Midoriya. He can feel his jaw setting but it immediately unsets when he accidentally squeezes the cats a little too hard and they let out simultaneous squeaks.
It’s a surprise when the redhead separates from Deku and congregates with the rest of the group, standing next to Bakugou as if nothing has happened. It’s also a surprise, twenty minutes later, when Katsuki is helping Kirishima fix up his apartment and his friend drops a massive bomb on him.
“How in fuck’s name did you set off an alarm in here?”
“I may or may not have purposely burnt the popcorn I was making.”
Katsuki looks over to Kirishima’s trashcan where there is indeed a bag of popcorn, cooked for so long that an entire hole has been scorched into the pouch.
“Jesus Christ. Why?”
“Because I also may or may not have cornered your man while he was trying to do his job.”
The blonde whips around, spilling the bucket of water that has just been sopped up back onto the tile.
“You what?”
And Katsuki’s seeing red.
“Hold on. Hold on. Don’t freak out yet. Sit down.”
He wouldn’t be surprised if the whites of his eyes were shaking at this point, but he obliges. Kirishima takes a couple steps back, probably to avoid being punched if things take a turn for the worse.
“Long story short, Izuku is indeed gay, he is indeed single, and he is coming over for a date tomorrow night.”
It’s a good thing Katsuki’s sitting down because his heart stops dead in its tracks. He doesn’t know if she should still be furious or fucking kiss the dumbass across the room.
“Hold the fucking phone. I need more than that.”
The redhead rolls his eyes as if this conversation isn’t just about the most important thing to happen to Bakugou in years.
“Okay okay.”
He delves into a flashback that goes something like this:
~~~~~~~~~~
Kirishima shuts the door behind Izuku, clearly shocking the man.
“Woah, what’s goin’ on?”
“Don’t worry man. Everything’s fine. It was just some popcorn.”
Midoriya sighs.
“This apartment complex has just about the worst luck with fires I’ve ever seen.”
“That’s actually why I’ve brought you here today.”
“..What?”
“You see, about a year ago you did a presentation at a company that my neighbor works at. The blonde. Katsuki.”
Izuku gains some recognition on his face and.. is that a blush?
“Well, ever since then the guys been absolutely crazy for you and this might sound really creepy at first, but trust me. He’s a good guy, well, he’s got good intentions at least.”
~~~~~~~~~~
Katsuki is unamused.
“Are you fucking kidding me?”
“Don’t interrupt me. I’m on a roll.”
~~~~~~~~~~
“Basically, he’s been purposely luring the fire department here and there and just about everywhere in hopes of seeing you again while trying to muster up the courage to ask you out, but he’s unsure if you’re even into guys and now he thinks that you have a boyfriend.”
Izuku rubs a hand across his face. Clearly, normal protocol can’t be used in this kind of situation. Kirishima swears he sees a bit of a smile.
“I really should be getting back to work.”
“Listen man, I don’t want to corner you like this but he’s been in a slump for weeks so I just need to know in order to get him out.”
“A slump?”
“Yeah, because he thinks you have a ‘half and half bastard’ as a boyfriend, whatever that means.”
And the green-haired man actually laughs.
“Shouto’s my roommate! And totally straight. I don’t know why he’d think that!”
~~~~~~~~~~
“Are you- THE MAN HAS WHITE AND RED HAIR. Split right down the middle! No straight man has those tastes.”
“Baku if you interrupt me one more time you’ll never figure out how this ends.”
“Okay,” the blonde grumbles, biting his tongue to keep him from saying anything more.
~~~~~~~~~~
“So then you are..?”
Midoriya surprisingly confesses to being bisexual pretty quickly.
“So let me get this thing straight. You’re telling me that Kacch- Katsuki, has been setting off the fire alarms and calling in all the time just to see me?”
“That is exactly what I’m saying.”
This time, Midoriya’s blush can be seen from outer space.
“So he uh, thinks I’m cute?”
“Yes.”
“Sorry, what’s your name?”
“Eijirou”
“Well, Eijirou, do you think I should like, ask him on a date?”
“I have an even better idea! Just come back here, well one door over tomorrow! Bakugou will cook dinner and everything!”
“Oh boy, shouldn’t we, ya know, ask him?”
“Nah, I know it will be a yes! Now let’s go, can’t be here for too long!”
~~~~~~~~~~
“And then we walked outside where I regrouped with you.”
“You didn’t.. You didn’t tell him about the cats did you?”
“I just told you what happened, did I not?”
“And he seemed excited?”
“Very.”
“You’re not that bad of a person.”
“It’s called being a friend, Bakugou. I wish you didn’t have an absolute friendship complex. Not everyone’s going to be shitty.”
Katsuki ignores the 100% serious comment.
“I need a new couch.”
~~~~~~~~~~
About 27 hours later, Katsuki has dipped into his savings to invest in a new, unclawed couch, washed his sheets—just in case, and made way too much Katsudon. Simple, but he knows he makes it best. He’s changed shirts about thirty times and even tried to slick down his hair (that went out the window very quickly). He places a candle on the bistro style table in his kitchen before removing it, then replacing it when he hears a knock on the door. Bakugou jumps about three feet in the air, startling all three of the cats as well before he’s off to retrieve his guest from the door.
To say Izuku looks flawless is an understatement and a half. He’s got on a very simple outfit, just jeans and a button-down, but it completely works for Katsuki. The man produces a bottle of wine from behind his back as he’s let into the apartment.
“Uh, here.”
"Thanks."
To say the date starts off awfully is a reserve against Bakugou’s pride. To start off, Katsuki’s so nervous he can’t do anything right. He tries to light a candle and it won’t catch. How fucking ironic. He goes to pour them glasses of wine and he spills it right over the back of Murder, who is coincidentally entirely white. Izuku tries to help clean it up and they bump heads. And for fuck's sake. Katsuki really used to be the charmer in high school: he promises. And maybe it’s just Midoriya, but the poor guy has lost all ability to have a decent fucking conversation. Seriously, the two stare at each other and clear their throats for almost the entire first half of the dinner.
And then something clicks. He’s unsure if it’s the wine that the two have been chugging to avoid having to speak or if they’ve both just had enough but at some point Izuku’s laughing so hard there are tears in his eyes.
“You’re telling me, that you rescued not one, but three cats just on the flip chance that I ever came over.”
“Well, you’re fuckin’ here, so it was worth it!”
“I think that’s both the most romantic and the creepiest thing anyone has ever done for me.”
“Are we forgetting the year’s worth of fire alarms I set off?”
The two keep up conversation like this for hours, washing the dishes together and then finding themselves on the couch.
“Can I tell you something?”
Izuku is a very cute drunk. The kind that blushed 24/7 and hiccups and his eyes get real droopy. That kind.
“Of course”
Katsuki is a very, uh, different drunk. He gets loud and most would say he’s a lot funnier and personable this way.
“When we hadn’t gotten any calls to this apartment, I kind of missed seeing you. I used to talk about you all the time to my roommate, Shouto. I still do. Whoops.”
Midoriya’s face is buried into Katsuki’s shoulder and the blonde thanks Kirishima in his head for being the best wingman he’s ever had.
“Sorry about that.”
“S’ok. I just wish you would have said something a lot sooner. It would have saved everybody involved a lot of time and money.”
“No shit.”
When the man removes himself from Bakugou’s shoulder, he’s biting his lip and rubbing his eyes.
“Sleepy?”
“Very. Not to be sloppy, but, you wouldn’t happen to care if I stayed the night, would you?”
Katsuki gets up without saying anything and disappears into his bedroom, returning moments later with a pile of clothes, and an extra toothbrush.
“Bathrooms right inside to the left once you get in the bedroom.”
Izuku offers a droopy grin and heads off to get changed. When he comes back out, Katsuki’s setting blankets and a pillow on his couch. But as the man gets closer Katsuki grabs his shoulders.
“Ah ah ah. You can take my bed.”
“No, I couldn’t.”
“Please. It’s the least I can do for the past year.”
“You really think you owe me?”
Katsuki just gives him a look.
“Okay okay, I’ll take the bed. But do me a favor?”
“What’s up?”
And he swears to god, the green son of a bitch will be the death of him, because he looks up the couple inch difference in height between the two and whispers ‘kiss me?’ like a fucking—he doesn’t even know. He does know that Izuku doesn’t have to ask him twice.
The blonde catches the other man’s lips swiftly. It’s not a perfect kiss by any means. They drunkenly fumble around each other and at some point, Katsuki thinks he might have used too much tongue. It takes a second for them to properly place their noses too, but it’s warm and Deku tastes like toothpaste and smells like Katsuki’s laundry detergent. He can feel the heat radiating off of the shorter man and when they interlock fingers, Bakugou decides that if things don’t go further after this night, that his entire year’s worth of shenanigans will still have been worth it. They kiss for a lengthy time, even after Katsuki’s jaw is sore and Izuku can barely keep his eyes open any longer. There’s just a smidge of awkward groping that is quickly discarded, the pair mutually deciding that it’s for another day. And then all of a sudden, Katsuki has tucked his dreams in human form under a thick duvet cover and he’s laying on his brand new couch, staring at the ceiling and sending Kirishima a short message before falling asleep himself.
You’re a pretty good friend.
~~~~~~~~~~
Months pass in the blink of an eye and slowly the fire-starting jokes come down to a simmer. Katsuki quits his job and begins trying to lower his ridiculously high renter’s insurance. Izuku basically moves in and Kirishima becomes a permanent third wheel. It’s a Tuesday morning after a huge storm that’s left the building powerless. Izuku’s off and the couple doesn’t need power for entertainment, but Kirishima certainly does, because he’s been sitting on the couch in between Midoriya and Bakugou, trying to spark up a conversation for hours.
“Oh look, they must be fixing the power,” the blonde quirks, clearly enthused with the thought of the two being able to be alone.
The three eventually make their way to the window, watching the group of electricians working on a telephone pole, just feet away from the room. Standing out in a group of old men, a blonde, lanky man who can’t be any older than the group at the window trips, knocking down several people and apparently ruining the progress they had made. Seriously, Katsuki can hear them yelling at the poor guy through the glass. He hears Kirishima let out a content sigh from next to him and the bastard has always had a thing for the klutzy type.
“Oh boy,” he mutters to Izuku, who leans into him while shooting a questioning look.
The redhead is almost fully pressed against the glass at this point.
“Hey, guys.”
“Yeah?”
“What’s the fastest way to fuck up my electricity?”
Looks like their days of ruining the apartment complex aren’t over just yet.