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Derieri sighed—trying and failing to let all the stress and adrenalin leave her—and took a step forward.
—Then she let out a long groan as that sigh did nothing and turned on her heel and kicked a stone—her hands going to her hair and tugging as her heart continued to pound in her head and her limbs trembled. So close—so close. “What do we do with this idiot?”
“We could kill him,” Monspeet suggested.
“Tempting,” Derieri mumbled as she turned back. “But nothing will get us on the shit list more than killing a prince.”
—Why did that sentence sound wrong?—What the hell?—
“I was…”—Monspeet’s confession hit Derieri hard for a second and she swallowed it down because now was nowhere near the time to decode that clusterfuck—“we were going to see Zeldris anyway—call him and make it his problem.”
For a moment Monspeet was silent. Then she watched as he dragged Estarossa to a clear spot and threw him to the ground—with a few hand signals a Perfect Cube erupted around him.
“It’s probally our best option—Kill him and we’ll get targeted by Zeldris—leave him and he’ll just come looking for us again because of our commandments…” He trailed off and Derieri knew he wasn’t fully happy with the plan. “Do you really think he will be okay with us just… retiring?”
Commandments didn’t just retire. Technically there were two who had—Cusack and Chandler had both once been Commandments but weren’t anymore—the rest of their former ranks dead or Indura now. Derieri didn’t know the reasoning of that but she knew it wasn’t the norm.
And both of them had retired into a new job—not given up the fight entirely.
“Better chance than nothing,” She murmured, tugging at her hair one more time, not sure how to tell Monspeet that she felt sick enough from her commandment and what it represented that the risk was well worth it to her. “Depends if he’s in one of his moods or not...”
He grunted. Derieri’s hands fell from her head and she crossed her arms—finger tapping her upper arms uncomfortably. “You watch him…I’ll… I’ll call him.”
She walked around Monspeet and out of what was left of the barn. Her eyes instantly caught the sight of a burnt corpse twenty feet away and she froze. She had through she’d been brunt to ash—but apparently she had just been blasted away…
Well… she would have something to do while she called him.
“The rest of the village is empty—they all evacuated when they saw the army pass by,” Derieri reported as she hovered at what used to be the doorway to their—the barn. Monspeet didn’t turn to look at her—focused entirely on the downed form of Estarossa in his Perfect Cube.
“Good. I don’t trust Zeldris to show much understanding. Hopefully this way we’ll… avoid anymore casualties.”
Derieri winced and turned to scan the sky. “I… I moved her body to their cemetery. If we can… after…” She didn’t finish. She doubted she had to—Monspeet always knew what she was trying to say—more or less.
If not, well… with any luck this village would be left untouched as empty as it was… and with any luck the retreating villagers would come back unharmed. She’d grabbed a random stone on the way—caved Mary’s name in it and left it by the body—they would know it was her and give her a proper burial then.
It was the least she could do for her.
“Of course.”
Derieri closed her eyes briefly—feeling so entirely useless.
“I’m going to keep watch for Zeldris.”
She set herself up nearby—leaning against the one structurally sound wall the barn had left—occasionally scanning the sky even though she knew it was unnecessary. Generally Zeldris didn’t bother with hiding himself—and she and Monspeet were known for their sensing ability for a reason—she would know when and where he was coming from—
—And if he did decide to catch them unaware—well then it didn’t matter how vigilant she was they would be caught unaware.
It wouldn’t be long she knew—not with how angry he sounded in their brief conversation—but until then they could only wait.
She could only wait.
Jittery with the stress of it all Derieri snatched a rock from the ground and tossed in back and forth between her hands in increasingly complex patterns. Finding that it only made her more jittery Derieri groaned, tucked her head back against the wall and idly scanned the sky again before considering the rock in her hand.
Did she really think Zeldris would let them go…?
Well… she had never thought it was certain. This was the boy—man who had the title the Executioner, the one who banished his own love at the will of his father—
And yet she hadn’t really worried anywhere near as much as she probally should have.
Looking at Zeldris—thinking about him—she couldn’t help but see the little boy she’d—
“So this is where you two have been hiding.”
Derieri didn’t look up instantly. Instead she stared at the ghoulish face she had carved into the stone without really thinking. With a sigh she closed her claw around it and looked up tiredly.
“Zeldris.”
“I hope you have a good explanation,” he demanded stiffly. Derieri could hear Monspeet react to his presence and she pushed herself up off the wall.
“Your brother tried to kill us—” she told him bluntly. She noted the slight widening of his eyes. “He was after the commandments and even after we’d said we’d give them up willingly he tried to kill us.”
Zeldris didn’t seem surprised about him being after the commandments though dismayed by how he tried to do it. Derieri considered what Monspeet had said and this information.
“He was trying to take them for himself—to go after Meliodas.”
Zeldris pinched his nose for a second in frustration. Derieri turned her head as he composed himself and nodded at Monspeet who stepped out of the barn with Estarossa carefully held in his arms in case he woke.
“Why didn’t you respond when I called?”
They could lie. Or better yet they could fudge the truth—they had been attacked by Meliodas and severely hurt—still being so to the point of not being able to respond wouldn’t have been that unbelievable.
But Derieri didn’t want to lie.
“We—”
“We didn’t want to,” Derieri cut Monspeet off. She heard the slight catch in his throat at her words—he probally thought her reckless—and an idiot—maybe she was. “I’m tired of this shit, Zeldris.”
“This shit?”
“This war—what’s the point.” She tossed the stone from her claw to her hand. “To beat the Goddesses—they’re beat—I’ve seen one since we’ve been back and she only was able to exist here by stealing the body of another. The magic of this land—it’s gone. Sucked up into the human souls.”
She tossed it back again. “And sure we could collect it all but we’d be destroying—not killing—destroying an entire species and for what—existing—being weaker than us—not being us. I have no desire to become him and I hate the fact that I basically am already so just—”
She looked up. Zeldris was staring at her passively. Monspeet was hovering at her side looking increasingly nervous.
“I already decided I didn’t want the commandment before Estarossa showed up—and I really don’t give a shit about it now—your obviously collecting them—so just—take it.”
With her last word she tossed the stone in her hand at Zeldris face—which he easily caught.
Monspeet reacted before anyone else—dropping Estarossa to the ground and lunging at her only to freeze half way through the movement when the expected reaction didn’t occur. He slowly straightened as Zeldris continued to just stare at the rock—and then Zeldris sighed, the tension leaving his shoulders.
“You’re lucky I’m too busy to deal with this properly,” he muttered not sounding particularly upset. He finally landed and approached. “Give me your hand.”
Derieri did so and he muttered some words. She flinched as the mark on her cheek burned as it slowly hissed away and then stared wide eyed at the orb that was left in his hand. She’d expected…
She’d expected to feel different after it was over and yet…
With a flick of his hand it disappeared and he looked to Monspeet who did the same. She watched almost fascinated as his mark slowly faded from his cheek as well as at the wonderment and disbelief in his eyes as he stared down to his own orb before Zeldris flicked it away.
Zeldris turned from them and heaved his brother up over his shoulder. His wings flared out but he paused last minute and turned back to her.
“You’re not completely right—at least one Archangel is back and so is Elizabeth,” he told her lowly.
With that he turned back forwards and flew off.
They didn’t really know how to bury Mary. What words to say and things to do—the ceremony—even where exactly to do it. So they buried her in a corner away from the other stones—carved her name into a shaped boulder as well as today’s date and then just stared at it for several long moments before Derieri had enough and she turned away.
She felt like she should say something—but what could she say. Mary was gone and her soul was long departed—hopefully somewhere much better than here.
Monspeet followed her silently—the two of them hadn’t spoken since Zeldris had left except for brief words on what exactly to do with her. Frankly she didn’t know what to say. Her head hurt and everything was too much—it hurt to think but she had so much to think about.
She wasn’t surprised when Monspeet spoke first. She was about what he decided to say.
“Why didn’t you leave when I told you to?”
Derieri shot him a look aghast. He just stared back passive as he always was.
“Are you an idiot? Did you really think I would just leave you here to die?” At his non-reaction Derieri swallowed heavily and stared away. “Do you think I would be able to live with myself if I left you to die alone?” She scowled at the amount of pain and fear that colored her voice and pricked up in response, turning on her heel and pointing right at him. “And I didn’t know about your little switching trick—and you didn’t know he was going to go for a chokehold so don’t pretend you had it all planned out.”
She turned away again and crossed her arms tightly—more hugging them to herself. “Don’t you ever tell me to run away again if you aren’t planning at being right by my side,” she ordered. Her lip trembled and in an angry response she bit it until it bled glaring heavily at the ground.
Monspeet had almost died.
Monspeet had almost died because of her.
Again.
“…Derieri…”
He sounded surprised under his concern—like this was news to him—Derieri bit her lip even harder and flinched violently when his hand touched his shoulder—practically dancing away from him. He stared wide-eyed at her and flushed at her response she turned on her heel.
“I’m going for a walk.”
Though in reality it was more of a run.
Monspeet followed her. Considering how she had left Derieri couldn’t even blame him. Thankfully he also gave her space—the two hovering at the edge of their senses in their usual depowered state but otherwise leaving each other be.
Honestly once Derieri had a little time to think she was glad—an itchy, unwanted, paranoid voice was constantly afraid she’d turn around and Monspeet would be dead.
Still it was also good to be alone. She found the creek she already knew so well and slowly walked upstream—kicking at the water and for a short while using the sound of it to help numb her brain enough to not think.
Everything was just too much—moving too fast.
But she couldn’t hide from it forever.
Eventually she stopped and sat on a flat rock at the bank of the creek big enough for two and dipped her feet in the water. Not long after that she heard footsteps approach behind her though she didn’t react.
“You asked me, Deri,” Monspeet said softly. Derieri continued to stare at the water rushing past her ankles and refused to look at the man standing behind her. “But what do you want?”
She snorted tiredly. “What I want…? For this stupid thing to be over. To go to sleep for a decade or more. To stop feeling like…I dunno…” she dropped her head into her hands—tangling her fingers and claw into her hair and pulled sharply—the pain a brief respite from the mess of confusion. She glanced the way the cemetery was and only felt worse.
“I just… I’m not sure I can do that anymore, Monspeet—I can’t just sit back and let it happen—not anymore…”
“…Did you mean it?”
Derieri looked up through her hair entangled fingers. “Huh?”
“What you said before—how you feel like you are basically him?”
His brows were furrowed with such concern that Derieri felt sick and guilty.
“I… I mean… aren’t I—sure it’s not ‘many tens of thousands’ but how many souls did I eat—how many children’s souls—they weren’t soldiers either. At least our people have a chance of reincarnating. The ones I ate are just… gone.” Her head dipped. Monspeet was silent for a long moment.
“We.”
She blinked.
“What?”
“We ate. You can’t blame yourself and forgive me—that’s not fair.”
For a second Derieri could only gape a bit. “But… but you… I didn’t mean to…”
“No.” He shifted—a second later one shoe fell at her side and then another and he was sitting down next to her dipping his own feet into the water. Derieri couldn’t help but glance away—looking at him felt like such a… a… she didn’t even know. “You’re right. We did do that. It was…wrong of us…”
Derieri glanced over at the odd tone to his words, peeking through her hair, and found his brows furrowed—uncertain? Like he couldn’t find the words he needed either. For a second she gaped but… was it really that surprising.
An hour ago he was shackled by his commandment—a commandment that had been shackling him longer than she’s known him
Did Monspeet remember how to speak outside of riddles and lacing his words with complex vocabulary to dilute its true meaning?
This was new… for both of them wasn’t it?
Monspeet reached and grabbed her right hand as he thought. Derieri watched as he turned it this way and that and played with her fingers. This was… also new… not unwelcome… but new.
There would probally be a lots of new things now wouldn’t there be. Derieri shuddered at the uncertain but also kind of giddy anxiety that surged through her at the idea.
“I think…” he finally said slowly. “That even before I wouldn’t have truly been able to just… run away and ignore all that’s happening. Not once I actually had the chance to try. Maybe… before the war truly hit but now… and after what happened to Mary it just came so much more focused on how… how wrong this all is.”
Derieri glanced away from their hands. “Are you sure that I’m… not just forcing you to do what I want…again.”
“What… do you mean?” The honest confusion in his voice set Derieri’s nerves flaring and she gritted her teeth slightly. Had he not noticed—had she manipulated him that much.
“You’ve been following me around—babysitting me—since… since Deferi died. You go where I go—you clean up after me when I’m being a giant idiot—like you said living quiet, and peacefully, and invisibly meant you didn’t have to worry about me anymore…” she trailed of miserably. For a long moment Monspeet didn’t say anything and Derieri drowned in the silence.
Fingers under her chin had her looking up in surprise. She swallowed heavily over the concern in his eyes.
“Derieri—my comment in the cottage was never meant to be more than gentle teasing,” Monspeet frowned at her and let go of her chin and retracted his arm—his other still holding hers gently. “Yes, since Deferi died you’ve been a bit more reckless and closed off, but never—not once has been being with you been a chore or my second choice.”
“But… but I’ve almost gotten you killed several times now—with Meliodas, with Estarossa—” she stuttered over the name—it felt wrong—but she was too upset to really care— “Back with Ludociel…”
She dug her claw into her thigh and hissed through her teeth when she broke skin. “I’ve been so useless…”
“Ludociel—what are you talking about? Back when Deferi…? Derieri, no.” The hand tightened around hers and with a tug she was looking at him. He was stern, his lips parsed and pained. “Derieri what happened back then was not your fault—if nothing else I was supposed to visit her that day as well and if it wasn’t for that bastard you would have negotiated the hostages free and everything would have been fine.”
He shook his head sharply. “We both choose to become Indura—if your referring to that—individually and as for the rest—I choose to go through with the plan with Meliodas—it was our best shot I just didn’t like the idea you were in the crosshairs—as for… later you were just trying to protect me—I can’t say I wouldn’t have done different if it was Meliodas fighting you.”
Derieri could only stare at him with a pressure growing behind her eyes until it became too much and she had to look away.
“As for useless—I have no idea where you got that from,” he told her with such certainty that she pressure behind her eyes almost broke. “You’ve had a string of bad luck—fighting first Meliodas and then Estarossa—but you are in no way useless. I almost got my head chopped off from Meliodas without any arms, was hit by the same attack by Meliodas as you were, and was completely blindsided by a giant—would you call me useless?”
“No!” Derieri suddenly froze. “Wait—when did you get—”
“That’s not important,” he rushed looking embarrassed and suddenly Derieri really wanted to know the story.
“So why are you being so hard on yourself?”
The vague amusement disappeared and she ducked her head. “You stopped Estarossa all by yourself,” she mumbled back weakly. “I couldn’t do anything.”
“Esta—” he cut off suddenly and Derieri turned to give him an odd look. “…He had the exact counter to your abilities—what do you think would of happened if I was left to fight Meliodas all on my own—even if he wasn’t as powerful as he was.”
Derieri shuddered a little at the thought—Monspeet was better with pure physical attacks than she was with magical—he was great with a rapier had had a lot of strength if nothing rivaling hers—but the idea sent a cold shock of fear down her spine and up to her fingers.
“Were a team, Derieri—we work together—we can’t do everything on our own,” he contained softly. “We cover for each other’s weaknesses. That’s what we do.”
At his words Derieri flushed a little and her gaze found its way to their hands.
“And anyway, it was impressive, you know?”
Derieri blinked up from their hands. “What?”
“How you handled Zeldris,” he smiled at her—small but soft and Derieri had to swallow. “I honestly have no idea how it worked—I would have had no idea what to say at all.”
Derieri looked away feeling warm. “It was nothing,” she mumbled. “I just… do you remembered how I got roped into helping train Zeldris when he was a toddling?”
“Yes—a bit—I was often away at that time.”
Derieri hummed. “Well… I kind of reminded him of that time, I guess. The stone—it was actually a ghoul face—like the ones Deferi showed you that I made as a little kid.” She flushed a bit. “I… I may have made one for him once a long—long time ago.” Her voice softened as she watched the water. “Executioner title or no—he was a sweet kid—I guess I just tried to drag that back out.”
Monspeet squeezed her hand and she turned back to him. “Like I said—impressive.”
Derieri flushed and looked away mumbling nonsense which only embarrassed her more.
They sat quietly for a few moments—the only sound being the water rushing by their feet and the birds singing in the trees. For a moment Derieri could forget the war going on around them. She mulled over his words and thought back to the past and felt her heart sink. They were a team—and they had been a pretty good one since the beginning—but the more she thought the more she noted how many times she ran into a fight uncaringly and Monspeet had to watch her back since Deferi’s death.
How few times she had ever thought to do the same for him.
“I haven’t been a very good teammate recently,” she mused regretfully into the air.
“Derieri—”
“No—don’t just try and sweep that under the rug,” she snapped. “That’s not fair,” she parroted his words hoping it would get through to him—and by the slight widening of his eyes she thought it worked. “It’s true and you know it.” She looked away again. “It’s just…”
She had no idea how to explain how she’s been feeling since Deferi’s death. The cycles of anger, and despair, and numbness she’d been stuck in. How she honestly hadn’t really cared about if she died or not—and had been too lost in her own dumb angst to notice he would care.
“I’m sorry,” she finally went with at a loss for anything else. “I promise I’ll do better.”
She finally and gently held his hand herself and nearly smiled despite her solemn words as Monspeet’s eyes went wide and he stared confusedly down at it. Had he not realized he was doing it—had he done all that without really thinking—she wasn’t sure how to feel about that other than warm and she rubbed a thumb over his fingers, tightening her grip in approval when he shifted his wrist to entangle their hands properly.
At that moment she made a promise to herself that from now on she would give as good as she took.
“Okay,” he agreed after a moment to regain his composure. “But Derieri—it was never a… problem or a bother, or anything like that. I knew you were hurting and I was… happy to do so.” For a second he looked a bit sheepish—maybe even embarrassed. “I enjoy taking care of you honestly—lately maybe... too much, believe it or not I know you can handle being hit by a few rocks. But I want you to know—it was never because I thought you couldn’t take care of yourself.”
Flushing and flustered Derieri’s gaze fell to her feet.
“Deferi told you to take care of me,” Derieri mumbled refusing to look anywhere but at her feet.
“She did—way back when you were barely a hundred and I didn’t know anything about you other than your name and Commandment,” he agreed. “But I came to care about you for you. I became your friend because of you. I consider you family for you—not because you’re related to Deferi—not out of any sense of guilt—I’ve felt this way long before Deferi’s death, Deri. Frankly you’re the last important person I have left.”
Eyes watering Derieri looked even further away but she couldn’t help the small smile that formed on her face.
“You’re my last important person to,” she finally managed back. “My family, my… all of that I guess—” she groaned loudly. “You know…words.”
Monspeet laughed—straight up laughed and Derieri whipped her head around to look at him. She had never heard or seen him do more than an amused grin or slight cut off chuckle before. From the surprise on his face she realized that had probally been because of his Commandment.
He blinked once more and then smiled at her and Derieri’s stomach flip-flopped at the look he was giving her and she had to look away again—even if part of her wanted to stare at the honest—overjoyed smile for the rest of her life.
Oh, purgatory flames, she was getting mushy.
…
Maybe mushy wasn’t so bad…
For a few moments more the two just sat at that bank, hands entangled and close enough their shoulders brushed. Then Monspeet gave her hand a final squeeze and pulled his away. Derieri instantly mourned the loss of contact.
“So what do we do now?”
“Are you truly willing to go from defector to traitor,” Derieri asked slowly. “You may have to kill the lesser ones in droves you know—I know you’ve always been a little protective of them.” Her gaze adverted. “I’m sorry by the way—of making you sacrifice them back then…”
“Derieri,” he sighed before seeming to drop it. “It may not be their fault that we’ve magically evolved them and turned them into near-mindless soldiers,” Monspeet said slowly with a little regret. “But it doesn’t change the fact that’s what they are—we may be able to stop them for a while—they won’t know we aren’t on their side anymore but once Zeldris realizes what we are doing… all the ones we’ve spared will just go back to killing humans… so…yes. Needs must.”
“Alright…” Derieri stood and Monspeet followed her, bending down to reclaim his shoes in the process.
She closed her eyes briefly. “There are several congregations of Demons nearby—probally at or heading to villages.”
“Right.” Monspeet paused. “Would you like to—find another outfit first?”
Derieri shot him a dull look and he flinched away with a sheepish grin. Rolling her eyes she tracked the nearest group of demons and the best route to take. “It would just get ripped when I fight…” She paused and considered. Human clothes were really nowhere near as irritating. “…I’ll look for something afterwards.”
She couldn’t help her smile as she took off and Monspeet followed with a breathless laugh.