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Team free will sat in the Impala listening to the purr of her engine and the soft rain on the glass panes. Having left Castiel’s army behind, they hoped that returning to the bunker would allow them a moment to breathe. No one spoke a word, as they were lost in the silence of their own thoughts. In the back seat, Castiel reviewed the past few days. So much had gone wrong so quickly, but what disturbed him the most was that one sentence from a dying angel. “I don’t see an angel staring back at me.”
Those words kept repeating in his mind. If he wasn’t an angel, but wasn’t human, then what had he become? Castiel closed his eyes for a moment when he heard a quiet whisper, “Castiel, I am here.” The female voice was familiar and serene. He opened his eyes searching for the source of the whisper. Nothing had changed; yet he knew he had heard someone.
A moment later, he closed his eyes once more. He wanted to hear her again; longed to sense the relief that he had felt at the sound of her voice. He was thrilled when the voice returned, whispering ever so softly, “Castiel, I am here. “ Suddenly he felt a tugging sensation, like his mind was siphoned elsewhere. At the exact same second, he felt gentle feminine fingers ghost though his dark hair. The tugging sensation continued to build but the tender touch kept him calm. “Come back to me Castiel.” Those were the last words he heard before everything fell to darkness.
Castiel awoke to the sound of giggling. He was lying with his stomach on the linoleum floor of a long dark hallway. The surroundings seemed familiar, but he could not place them. He rose to his knees, and glancing to his right deciphered an Indiana State Hospital sign posted next to a nurse’s station. Why was he back here on the psych ward he had once called home? Cautiously Castiel pulled himself to a standing position. The eerily silence filling the ward caused him to go on the offensive. He grasped for his angel blade in his trench coat, but found it empty. He had no weapons, but before panic could set in he heard the familiar faint voice. “Castiel, I am here.” Near the end of the hallway, a light went on like a lighthouse beacon. Castiel followed the glow; praying the voice would be there.
When Castiel reached the lit doorway he took a deep breath before entering. The room was empty except for a hospital bed. He felt completely bewildered. Castiel had no idea what was happening. Was he losing his mind along with his stolen grace? Turning to leave he heard the kind voice as it tickled his ear: “Castiel, I am here.” Perhaps this was some sort of twisted trick played by Metatron. He began spinning around to see the entire room howling, “Show yourself! Who is this? Why am I here?”
The loving hands ghosted over his face and hair. A shiver fell over his shoulders but he once again felt at peace. Castiel walked over to the bed sitting on the edge exhausted. He was going mad. Gentle hands cupped his face and unknown lips fell upon his. The kiss was delicate and loving when it broke the voice returned. “Shh. Castiel, I am here.”
He knew those lips. “Meg?”
Suddenly without warning he was looking into the black eyes of his precious demon. She was wearing blue scrubs and black boots with her dark hair in loose curls. “Did you miss me Clarence?”
Castiel just stared at her. He wanted to ask where she had been all this time. He wanted to demand that she tell him why he was here. Instead of asking any of those questions haunting his thoughts, he stepped forward and took her face into his hands. He forgot how silky smooth her skin felt under his vessel’s fingers. Putting his forehead onto hers he gasped, “Yes.”
She placed her lips onto his. Castiel drew her into his arms opening his mouth allowing their tongues to roam. Abruptly he tossed his trench coat to the floor. He needed to feel her. He wanted every part of his vessel’s body to be touching hers. An intense yearning took over as Castiel began unbuttoning his shirt. A cackle exploded from her lips breaking the kiss and building desire. “When did you become such a Don Juan?”
“I am not sure I think of myself as a seducer of women.”
She shoved him away her eyebrow lifted in a question. “Wait, you know who Don Juan is?”
It was Castiel’s turn to flash a knowing grin letting his dress shirt fall from his shoulders. “I know about a lot of things now. “ Castiel removed the rest of his clothes before lifting the scrub top over her head lowering his lips to her neck. Drawing circles with his tongue he worked his way down to her breasts. When his lips tasted the fabric of her black lacy bra he reached behind her back undoing the clasp.
Grabbing his face with her hands she pulled it up to hers. Castiel detected a note of genuine affection in her voice. “What happened to my sweet Clarence?”
His eyes searched hers looking for some kind of answer. “Can’t you see it Meg?”
Meg could see the pain in his stunning blue eyes. If the demon had a heart it would be breaking this very moment. “I see a hot naked angel with a serious case of happy pole.” She couldn’t help but laugh at her own comment. But when she looked back at his face she saw only agony.
He seized her wrists harshly shaking her vessel. “I’m not an angel. I’m not a human. I’m not even a demon. What the hell am I Meg?”
Somewhere deep down, she knew he needed her. Just like all the times before, she would be the one to care for him. She placed a finger on his bare chest and let it drift down to his belly. She kicked off her boots; throwing them across the room. As she moved towards him she dropped her pants and lacy undergarments to the linoleum. “You are none of those things. You are so much more.”
His eyes were pleading with her. Sorrow swiftly spread over his stoic face. “I have nothing left to give. My stolen grace will be gone soon.”
Meg smacked him callously across his face. “I didn’t nurse you back to sanity. I didn’t…. leave you for nothing. You fucking snap out of it. Do you hear me?”
Castiel stroked the wounded cheek looking at her with disbelief. She leaned in and kissed the very spot she had struck. Whispering in a gentle weak voice, “promise me Clarence?”
Losing himself into the gaze of her vessel’s brown irises he whimpers, “I promise.”
Taking both of her palms and pressing them against his shoulders she advanced until he was falling back on the bed. She mounted her angel stroking his body roughly with her fingers. Spreading her legs in a straddle she sat on his stomach. Castiel lost his breath at the touch of her wetness on his skin. Gracefully, he moved his fingers up and down her arms. Meg leaned forward kissing his supple, wanting mouth.
The kiss built the intensity of their passion as he clutched her hips lifting her to hover above him. Gradually she lowered herself onto his vessel’s manhood. Meg began to steadily rock her hips in circles; causing Castiel to let out a loud moan. Sitting up to ride her angel, she winked as she continued to pleasure him with the thrusts of her body. Castiel drags Meg down to place rough needy kisses on her lips and neck. She returns the kisses taking nips at his lower lip. Leaning over to his shoulder, Meg takes a fierce bite. Her teeth sink in to the skin, causing a red ooze to trickle from the wound. Castiel only feels the pleasure mixed with the pain from the bite. He senses her darkness slowly enveloping him. All of Castiel’s regret and angst float away, so his focus is only her. Taking his fingers into hers, clasping their hands into one, Castiel could feel the coming wave of an orgasm. As she climaxed, he watched her beautiful demon soul leading him to his own pinnacle moment.
In the afterglow, Meg spread her body over Castiel’s using her fingers to play with his hair. Her head tucked in the nook of his neck.
Castiel wrapped her in a tight embrace. He didn’t want to go back- ever. He sighed hoping to finally find the answers. “Why am I here Meg?”
She lifted her face to look directly into his blue eyes. “Think about it Castiel. What am I to you?”
Stroking his fingers through her dark hair the angel found himself smiling for he knew the answer all along. “You are my caretaker.”
In that moment everything went black. A dark low whiskey voice called to him. “Hey Cas, we’re here.”
Castiel shook his head to clear the foggy sensation. He was back in the Impala, which was now parked outside the bunker. Trying to focus, he watched as Sam and Dean exited the car and walked towards the opening. Castiel sat frozen in astonishment. Had he been dreaming, but angels don’t dream. It had seemed so real, so vivid. He throws himself against the door to open it. A fierce pain shoots up from his shoulder. Castiel pulls his shirt to the side searching for its source. There, on his vessel’s shoulder was a small bite mark.
A faint whisper tickles his ear, “Clarence, I am here- always.”