Chapter Text
The egos were all in the living area, watching some Netflix movie Dark had long forgotten the name of, when the doorbell rang.
“I’ll get it!” Bing scrambled from Google’s hold, racing to the door with the rest of the egos trailing after him. He opened the door, and shock crossed his face. “Whoa! It’s you guys!”
Brow furrowing, Dark stepped behind Bing as the younger android pushed the door open further. He took a step back in surprise, shock washing across his own features. Standing on their doorstep were three new egos: Reynolds Voorhees, Derek Derekson, and Eric Derekson.
“Whoa!” King popped his head around the door, staring in awe. “You guys were created over a month ago! What took you so long?”
Eric wrung his hands nervously, looking anywhere but the other egos around him. “We, um, we-we-we got lost…”
Google raised a disbelieving eyebrow. “How? Every ego, when they’re newly created, appears on the doorstep of the house the rest of their kind occupy. You would’ve had to have deliberately turned around and walked away in order to get ‘lost’.”
Eric began to sweat nervously, staring at the ground, and Reynolds shot a pissed look in Derek’s direction, crossing his arms, but didn’t say anything. Derek himself flashed them a sleazy grin, spreading his arms. “You’re right. I didn’t want to, let’s say, intrude, so I set out to make my own way.” His grin broadened, clearly forced as he bit through his pride. “It didn’t turn out quite as expected, so here we are.”
Dr. Iplier scanned them. “What stopped you two from coming in? You didn’t have to follow him.”
Eric glanced Derek. “He’s my dad…I-I-I couldn’t…” He trailed off, swallowing harshly.
Reynolds shot another glare at Derek. “And he physically dragged me off. I was so busy trying to get away from him I wasn’t paying attention to where we were going, so when I finally did break away I had no idea where here was, and I didn’t want to go off on my own.
“So…you three have been homeless this entire time…?” Silver’s voice was quiet and horrified, eyes completely wide. Eric was the one who responded, slowly nodding.
“Oh my God!” Bim covered his mouth with his hand. “You were on the streets for your first Christmas come here!” He grabbed Eric’s hand, dragging him in the direction of the kitchen. “Wilford! Do we have any hot chocolate and cookies left?”
“I made like two hundred cookies there should still be some in the freezer!” He bolted after his apprentice, Reynolds, Derek, and the rest of the egos trailing after him. Bim hurriedly sat Eric down in his chair before he set about digging through the cupboards for three mugs and hot chocolate, Wil buried in the freezer.
Reynolds and Derek sat on either side of Eric as Wil set down a platter of frozen cookies in front of them, Bim quickly following with the hot chocolate (he used his aura to heat the water). Suddenly there was a nearby chattering, and then Bubblegum – Wil’s pet squirrel – was climbing onto the table, sniffing at the three newcomers. Wil’s eyes lit up, and he scooped her up in his hands. “Bubblegum! There you are, sweetheart!” He gently rubbed the top of her head with a finger, smiling brightly when she purred in response.
Eric dropped the cookie he’d been nibbling on, mouth falling open. “You have a pet squirrel? That’s so cool!” His eyes widened in what looked suspiciously like panic, glancing at his father and eyes drifting down to his lap.
Wil, however, was undeterred. “Would you like to hold her?” Eric’s head shot back up, smiling shyly and holding out his hands. Wil held out his own and, with a brief moment of hesitation, Bubblegum hopped onto Eric’s open palms, circling once before settling down, chirruping at the new ego with a tilt of her head. Eric let out a disbelieving laugh, rubbing the top of her head like he saw Wil do, and he looked to his dad, excitement and wonder prominent in his eyes.
Derek, however, scowled, crinkling up his nose in distaste. “Yes well, I don’t see why you’d keep such a…a vermin in the house, much less as a pet.”
King immediately frowned, shifting his cape and obviously offended. Still, he determinedly ignored him, turning to Eric instead. “Do you like squirrels?”
Eric nodded enthusiastically. “I love animals! I’ve always wanted to know what their tails feel like…” Glancing back at Wil, and at the reporter’s encouraging nod, he ran hand down Bubblegum’s tail, visibly delighting at the sensation.
King gave him a bright smile, taking off his crown in a sweeping, exaggerated bow before placing it back on his head. “Nice to meet you, I’m the King of the Squirrels!”
Ed snorted, crossing his arms and leaning back against the wall. “You’ve been hangin’ around Bim too much, King.”
At the same time, Bim exclaimed. “Oh right! Introductions!” He winked at Eric, running a hand through his hair, purposefully making the glitter sparkle. “I’m Bim Trimmer, game show host extraordinaire!” He pointed the Wil. “That’s Wilford Warfstache, my mentor.” He gestured to Dark. “That’s Darkiplier, he’s the head of the house. And then you know King, and the rest are the Jim twins, Bing, Google, Ed Edgar, the Silver Shepherd, Dr. Iplier, and the Host.” He pointed to each of them in turn, then bent down to their level, throwing an arm around Reynolds and Eric to ‘whisper’ loudly. “Don’t mind the Host; he may look scary but he’s – relatively – harmless.”
“The Host resents that.”
“Host, I can literally incapacitate you for days simply by making a batch of cookies, don’t give me that.”
The blind ego flushed, crossing his arms and turning his head. “…the Host would prefer if Bim would shut up now.”
Bim smirked. “Yeah that’s what I thought.”
Dark cleared his throat, and Bim stepped back, moving to put away the kitchen supplies. He let his aura curl around him, his ringing growing slightly louder to be more noticeable. “Like Bim said, I am the head of this household. I was the first. You will listen to me.” He flared his aura, splitting his form so his red and blue doubles stood to either side of him. “We may all be a family here, dysfunctional as it can be sometimes, but in the end I am still in charge. Failure to obey can lead to some…less than savory consequences.”
Eric and Reynolds both nodded their heads enthusiastically, eyes wide with slight fear, but Derek just crossed his arms, smirking slightly, exuding an air of ‘we’ll see about that’. Dark scowled, but then Wil elbowed him, eyes twinkling. “Dark, stop scaring the new ones! They’ve had a rough past few weeks!” Dark locked eyes with Derek, sending him a scathing look, but relented, his doubles merging back into his body and his ringing returning to its usual levels. Wil kissed his cheek, then patted his shoulder, moving away. “I’m gonna go see if their rooms have appeared yet and get them ready.” He gently took Bubblegum from Eric, placing her in the floof of his hair, and walked out of the kitchen.
“We volunteer to give the tour!” Both Jims bounced excitedly, impossible to tell them apart without their equipment, which they’d abandoned in the living area.
Silver shot them a questioning look. “But…you two got lost like last week. Absolutely not!” He turned back to three new egos, offering a smile. “I’ll give you the tour. You can follow me if you like.” He waited for them to stand before moving away, following Wil’s example. Dark narrowed his eyes suspiciously when he saw the way Derek roughly grabbed his son’s wrist, pulling him along.
When they were safely out of earshot, Bim turned to face the rest of them. “Is it just me, or did anyone else get weird vibes from the dad, uh, Derek?”
Bing rubbed the back of his neck. “No, I did too. Think something’s going on there?”
Google’s eyes flashed a distinct shade of red and the Jims exchanged glances, shifting skittishly. King fiddled with his cape. “I don’t like him. If what Reynolds said was true, then he forced them to be on the streets for over a month, just because of his own stupid pride. Plus, he called squirrels v…something mean.”
“I’ll keep an eye on ’em.” All eyes shifted to Ed, still leaning against the doorway.
“You?” Dr. Iplier raised an eyebrow. “No offense, Ed, but –”
“Yeah yeah, ‘Ed’s a child trafficker, how can he have a heart.’” He rolled his eyes. “Just because I happen to have an unsavory profession doesn’t mean I promote abuse. Despite what you might think, I make sure those kids are treated right. No harm ever comes to them.” He adjusted his sunglasses. “If anythin’ is goin’ on between that boy and his father, I’ll find out about it.”
“It’s settled then.” Dark adjusted his tie. “Ed, you’ll watch out for any signs.” His eyes flashed dangerously, aura writhing. “I will not stand for that in my house. To the rest of you; go about your day. This conversation never happened.”
The egos dispersed, minus Ed and Dark. The cowboy fixed him with a look. “I’ve got this. I don’t like the idea of that man hurtin’ that kid any more than you do.”
Dark sighed. “I know. Be careful, Ed. If he is abusing Eric…who knows what he might do to someone if he finds them poking around.”
Ed gave him a resolute nod, and with that, Dark tore open the Void, stepping into his office, and preparing for a long day.