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Kuroo was frantically searching through his textbook while walking across the campus, going… somewhere. Honestly, he couldn’t care less. More important was to figure out approximately how many points he scored on the test he just wrote on the previous class. Don’t misunderstand, usually he wasn’t this eager, but it was one of his favourite seminars, and the professor was a national treasure if you asked Kuroo, so he wanted to do well. Hence his current disinterest in the outside world. If Akaashi and Bokuto hadn’t been there to guide him, the former helpfully pulling Kuroo out of other’s way from time to time, he probably would’ve died at the first flight of stairs.
If only he could finally find the page with the correct answer to question 2.
“… and I was on the verge of puking out my lungs, and that dude didn’t even seem tired, but like hell I was gonna let him win…”
Even Bokuto’s constant chatter didn’t really register in Kuroo’s mind despite the usual above-average volume. He finally found the needed page and was reading it through, checking his answer. When they got out of the building, the slight drizzle broke his concentration for a second, but soon he was back to evaluating his solution to question 3.
“Do you guys want to grab a coffee?”
“Sure! I heard they have a new kind of latte! What about you, bro?”
Kuroo hummed noncommittally, moving on to question 4. He had a feeling he messed that one up.
“We officially lost him. Let’s go!!”
He was right, in the second half he switched up two formulas. He used them right though, so maybe that saved some points. Still, it was so goddamn stupid and irritating! He should’ve thought it through once again.
“Oh my god.”
If Akaashi didn’t grab his arm to stop him, Kuroo would’ve kept walking, leaving his friends behind. Now that he wasn’t required to move forward, he could pay all his attention to question 5. It was the hardest, with a tricky part at the end. Or maybe there wasn’t any trick, and Kuroo just made another mistake. He was getting anxious.
“…Are you sure it’s him?”
“Yes Bo, I have the sight of his terrified face burnt into my memory.”
The first part of what he wrote was right if Kuroo remembered well. And it seemed he started the next step right too, correct formulas and all, if the calculations were okay, there shouldn’t be a problem. Now, onto the last part of the question…
“I’m just saying that, ‘Kaashi, if I were him, I’d probably prefer if we pretended to be strangers who’ve never seen each other.”
“And I’m planning to do just that after we apologized. But only after that. I don’t want anybody to think we’re… you know. And what if he prosecutes us?”
He actually aced question 5! Unbelievable! A weight has been lifted from Kuroo’s shoulders. Only question 6 was left, and that was an easy one. He checked it too just to be sure as they started to walk again, but there was no surprise. That one was completed flawlessly.
All in all, he only made one bigger mistake, 5 and a half correct answer out of 6. It was acceptable, though that stupid switch-up irked him. Whatever, he’ll pay more attention next time.
Kuroo finally put the textbook in his bag and mentally returned to the here and now. They were approaching the campus café, but when they were only a few steps away Akaashi and Bokuto stopped. Kuroo gave them a questioning look.
“Okay, I admit I wasn’t really listening, but aren’t we getting coffee?”
“Later. Now we wait” Akaashi’s voice was colder than usual and he seemed nervous, face pale, fingers twisting together.
It spoke volumes of the situation that Kuroo had to look at Bokuto in hopes of getting somewhat wiser. At least his bro didn’t seem nervous, rather just uncomfortable and a bit pouty. He shrugged.
“We wait for the guy to come out of the café, so ‘Kaashi can apologize.”
“So we can apologize” his boyfriend corrected him immediately, causing Bokuto’s frown to deepen.
“What guy?” Kuroo was still lost. “And what do you have to apologize for?”
The couple answered with identical pained grimaces, like Kuroo was supposed to know what it was about. Well, maybe he was, but he had a valid reason to miss the antecedent of this conversation. He lifted his hands in a resigning manner, accepting to wait until this passed, whatever ‘this’ was.
“You can go in, if you wa-” the chime of the bell above the door of the café silenced Akaashi. Kuroo could hear him swallow as he turned a shade even paler.
After turning to check the force of nature that could make Akaashi Keiji a nervous wreck, Kuroo thought he could kind of understand.
The guy exiting the café was tall and slim, and his short, blonde curls looked soft, contrasting the sharp lines of his handsome face. The gaze of his honey-brown eyes was unfocused, lost in thought, the “I’m trying to figure out the laws of the universe and it pisses me off” kind. But maybe it was just the effect of his black-rimmed glasses. Either way, Kuroo was both intimidated and interested. That “no bullshit please” expression sure pushed all his buttons.
But before he could get past the phase of internal drooling, Akaashi pulled himself together and stepped in front of the blond with an uncharacteristically awkward “Uh… Hey.”
The stranger lifted his head, eyes now clear, glare cutting, brows furrowed, and Kuroo almost felt sorry for Akaashi for being on the receiving end of all of it. Almost, because it didn’t last long. The initial cold but confused glare turned into wide-eyed recognition, with all the colour leaving that beautiful face, then even that got soon replaced by a look of embarrassment and anxiety topped with the most adorable blush Kuroo has ever witnessed.
Gone was the aloof stranger, and in his place stood a helpless boy. He stole a quick glance towards Bokuto, panic visibly growing, then he finally looked at Kuroo, who tried to smile at him, but in the next second, he was staring scared at Akaashi again.
“Oh, you recognize me… us… That’s … good, actually. I mean… Spares me some of the awkward explanation.”
If Kuroo hadn’t seen it with his own eyes and heard with his own ears, he would’ve never believed that Akaashi could stammer of nervousness. He desperately wanted to know who this guy was, why his friends had to apologize, and where they knew him from, because Kuroo was sure he hasn’t met him before. Maybe he should’ve listened to their conversation on the way here.
The blond didn’t say anything, just kept staring at Akaashi like he was a creature from his darkest nightmare.
“I uh… I understand that you didn’t wish to see us ever again… And I don’t want anything, really! And after we’re over this, we won’t approach you, I swear! I just… We’re so sorry. So goddamn sorry. I feel terrible… Bokuto too” Akaashi threw a glance over his shoulder at his soulmate, maybe to ask for moral support. Bokuto started nodding rapidly. “Please believe me when I say we’re actually decent people, and it’s not our… kink or anything… it was … a moment of weakness on my part, and I’ve learnt my lesson and…”
Kuroo was dying to know what was going on, because this was hilarious. What’s worse, he had a feeling he did know the story, there was something hella awkward his friends told him recently, but what was it again…
“Okay, I’m talking too much” Akaashi took a deep breath. “Again, I’m sorry. We’re ashamed and understand if you’re angry… or shaken. But I hope we can close this case here. I reassure you, we won’t show up in the library again. Bokuto didn’t visit it often anyway, and I don’t really feel like going back after… well. You know.”
It clicked. Kuroo felt his neurons transmitting the information to put together the memory. The memory of the night when they sat next to the small kitchen table in his tissue-sized apartment, Akaashi and Bokuto drinking away the guilt while he laughed his guts out. The memory of the story of how Bokuto convinced Akaashi to get a little physical in a hardly-visited corner of the library. The memory of Akaashi, eyes dead, face tomato-red, voice wobbly, saying “I got caught in a public place with my dick down this idiot’s throat.” The memory of Bokuto whining “Who in their right mind visits the ‘Logic’ section on a Friday evening?”
What Kuroo found the most amusing was that Akaashi was so preoccupied with his own weakness and failure that he forgot to be angry at Bokuto.
But now, he was right in front of him. This handsome man, this poor soul, the victim. The one who walked in on Bokuto giving a blowjob to Akaashi in the ‘Logic’ section of the library on a late Friday afternoon.
Do not think ill of him, Kuroo fought as hard as he could, but the laughter won, erupting like a well-shaken bottle of coke. The glare Akaashi gave him had no effect, but Kuroo had the tact to at least turn away until he managed to tame the hyena that lived inside him. After a few steadying breaths, rubbing his side that got sore from laughing, he walked over to Akaashi and the poor guy, with a grin still pulling his mouth painfully wide.
“If you’re fine with that, we wish to go on like nothing happened, and pretend to be strangers who have never seen each other” Akaashi was finishing his monologue when Kuroo grabbed The Victim’s shoulder.
There was a moment of complete silence, Akaashi and the blonde both staring at Kuroo; the former already sensing a headache coming, the latter more confused and frightened than ever, while the raven gathered the strength to speak without cracking up again.
Then he looked into the beautiful honey-brown eyes, and on his happiest voice he said,
“I’m sorry you had to witness that.”
He could practically see the stranger’s gaze turn dull.
* * *
The day wasn’t completely terrible, just filled with small annoyances which slowly but surely left a mark on Tsukishima’s mood. He had to listen as two guys bickered through his first class over something entirely stupid. Thanks to the constant drizzle his glasses kept getting spotted by small droplets of water, so he had no way of seeing clearly. During his last class his pen ran out of ink mid-sentence. There were too many people in the café, and they ran out of strawberry flavoured tea, so Tsukishima had to settle for the peach one. And he still had a lot to do once he got home.
“Uh… Hey.”
Tsukishima wiped up his head, glare already at full force, because no, he didn’t have a minute to chat about charity or whatever.
Scratch that.
He had time for that.
He had time for anything as long as it saved him for this particular man and whatever he had to say. Because no mistaking it, he was one of the two males Tsukishima encountered a couple of weeks ago in the library, in a situation that made him lose the already little faith he had in humanity and his generation. He’d have recognized those piercing green eyes anywhere. As Tsukishima glanced around to find an escape route, he also spotted the other half of the duo, hair as wild as in his memories, and it made his stomach sink even lower in panic, the scene playing on repeat in his mind, mercifully forgotten details suddenly coming back. There was also a third man who Tsukishima didn’t recognize, but the fact that he was obviously with those two raised some unwanted questions in his mind.
Feeling a weird mixture of anxiety and annoyance pulling his body tense, Tsukishima looked back at the pretty-faced man standing in front of him, and heavily considered to simply just run away.
“Oh, you recognize me… us… That’s … good, actually. I mean… Spares me some of the awkward explanation.”
If he hadn’t been busy screaming for help on the inside, Tsukishima would’ve felt some sick satisfaction over the apparent discomfort of the man. Too bad he was still preparing for the worst, for a horrendous turn of events or some wicked joke.
Then the man started to apologize. Some of the knots loosened in Tsukishima’s stomach, and he gripped the to-go paper cup of his tea less tightly, but he couldn’t completely relax. Embarrassment was still burning his face, and he couldn’t banish the memory out of his mind, because the green-eyed guy kept talking, and Tsukishima didn’t have the mental strength to interrupt him. He kind of blanked out, staring at a point on the man’s shoulder, just wishing for this torture to finally end.
He startled when one of the other guys, the one Tsukishima haven’t seen before, erupted in loud, atrocious laughter. He seemed to fight to regain seriousness, but it was a lost battle, so eventually he just turned away. Tsukishima had no idea what happened, he could only guess that the man talking to him said something, so he looked back at him. The guy was murdering his laughing companion with a glare before he faced Tsukishima again with a tired expression.
“I’m glad at least one of us enjoys this whole damn shit of a situation. Ah, whatever, I don’t want to steal your time any longer. It took away more years of my life than it should have already, and I guess I’m not the only one feeling this way. If you’re fine with that, we wish to go on like nothing happened, and pretend to be strangers who have never seen each other.”
Tsukishima was about to sigh an “Oh God, yes that’s perfect”, but then a hand grabbed his shoulder, making him tense up again. It was the laughing guy, though he wasn’t laughing anymore just grinning from ear to ear. Tsukishima didn’t like it. The guy was handsome, messy rave hair looking soft, amber eyes shining with mirth, his hand on Tsukishima’s shoulder warm and strong, but that grin promised mischief and headache, and the blond wasn’t ready for that.
It was like a rubber band snapping.
“I’m sorry you had to witness that.”
Tsukishima swore time slowed down as the pieces in his head fitted together. This guy, this good-looking stranger with a dangerous smile just uttered the sentence Tsukishima wore on his wrist since he was sixteen. He was his soulmate. And he was friends with the ones who put through Tsukishima one of his most traumatic experiences of his life. Oh joy.
He felt his soul taking a few-minute trip on another plane of existence. Still somewhat dizzy and completely mortified he said the first thing that came into his mind.
“I expected a murderer, but honestly, this is much worse.”
It wasn’t even a lie. That sentence left a little too much things ambiguous, and the dark sense of humour was a family trait by the Tsukishimas. Actually, it was his father who - when he first saw the mark - kick-started the joke with the comment “Oh Honey, our little Kei’s going to bring home a murderer one day.” As Tsukishima knew his luck, soulmate dearest really had serious chances at being a serial killer.
He couldn’t decide if it was better or worse, but it was surely unexpected.
For long moments they just stared at each other, the raven slowly losing the grin, probably taking in the turn of events. Suddenly the third guy was next to him, grabbing his arm with an excited “Dude! It’s him!”
The pretty-faced one could only ask a flat “What?” before Tsukishima found himself in a suffocating hug that he didn’t have the strength to fight off. He was half aware that his tea got knocked out of his hand and was probably spilt on the ground.
“You idiot! Do you know how many nights I’ve spent awake, wondering what I’ll say that will make you expect murder? And how badly I will have to fuck up something to meet you in a situation that’s worse than that? I am so goddamn relieved!” His soulmate spun him around.
“You’re relieved” Tsukishima mumbled into his shoulder, voice empty.
“Oh come on!” the guy’s hold on him loosened, so they could look at each other properly. The smile he wore now radiated child-like joy and adoration, and it made Tsukishima weak at the knees. “It’s not like you saw me doing something illegal and now I’m on the run and you’re an accomplice.”
“Oh, right” finally Tsukishima was getting back in touch with the real life, obtaining the power to sarcasm. “Instead, I saw your friends having… oral sex in a public place. Which is illegal.”
His soulmate was visibly fighting back laughter again.
“Yeah, and this is hilarious.”
“I am traumatized.”
The noise of someone clearing their throat made them turn. It was the green-eyed man looking from one to the other with a calculating expression. Tsukishima felt embarrassment creeping up his neck again, though this time he also had the fleeting thought that otherwise the guy looked like someone he could be friends with.
“He… is your soulmate?” he asked, gesturing toward Tsukishima.
“Yep” his soulmate’s answer was happy and proud despite the circumstances, and this was the moment when Tsukishima truly conceived that holy shit, it’s him, I really did meet him.
“Great” the raven said and nodded a few times, but it seemed like nothing was great. “I need to lay down for a bit” and he proceeded to do just that.
“Right there? ‘Kaashi!” the third guy stepped over, trying to stop him. “What are you doing? The ground’s wet!”
Because otherwise it would be okay to lie in the middle of a sidewalk? Tsukishima questioned in mind. He glanced at the raven who watched the scene unfold with an amused smirk.
“Perfect” ‘Kaashi’ said, already on the ground. “Now everybody can see that my life is in ruins.”
“Oh babe” the guy who must have been his soulmate patted his hand. “I thought we talked it through, and moved on?”
“No Bo, you don’t understand. That one time I threw caution out the window, gave in to temptation and broke the rules. And of fucking course, I got caught. I messed up only once. Just once. But that one mess-up is not only buried deep I my mind, no, it’s also burnt into this poor guy’s memories, and if it wasn’t enough it’s etched onto Kuroo’s and his skin with no chance of fading.”
Tsukishima’s first thought was So his name’s Kuroo, before the cold feeling of dread presented itself in his chest. Slowly he lifted his hand to stare at his wrist.
I’m sorry you had to witness that.
…to witness that.
…that.
THAT.
His most uncomfortable memory was permanently tattooed on his skin, just like the raven said. Suddenly, lying down on the cold, wet ground didn’t seem such a weird idea. He looked at Kuroo, his soulmate, who was also inspecting his own wrist. He was smiling. And when he looked up at Tsukishima, it became apparent that he wouldn’t have wanted them to meet in an any less silly way.
Tsukishima’s thoughts must’ve showed on his face, because Kuroo laughed at him and gestured towards his friends,
“Are you considering following Akaashi’s example?”
The blond glanced over to the other couple, the raven still lying on the ground, hiding behind his hands, his boyfriend squatting next to him, completely lost, but still there. It seemed they went through a lot, good and bad things alike, sometimes they did stupid things (Tsukishima could tell the story) but stood side by side and faced life together.
He knew it won’t be easy to get over the awkwardness. He knew he’d experience burning embarrassment every time someone asks how he met his soulmate. He knew he’d have to come up with a story he can tell in these cases, because everyone was better off not knowing the truth.
But Kuroo was smiling at him like Tsukishima’s mere existence made this world a better place, and Tsukishima knew he’ll do all these things for him, the innocent murderer.
Uncertainly and with a lot of worries, but he smiled back.
“In more ways than one.”
* * *
“Hey Tsukki, when you said you’d follow Akaashi’s example in more ways than one, did you also mean-”
“Try anything more than holding my hand in public, and I’m gutting you.”