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I cry. Adam has managed to hurt me with his lasts words, but I'm trying to counter them. I had to flee from him because he was evil. I broke my promise to him because the person he pretended to be never really existed. I'm not gonna break my promise to Yang because I really love her. Thats what I repeat to myself as I try to stop crying and I think it's working.
“Blake, are you feeling better?”
As I open my eyes, I see two lilac eyes looking straight at me with compassion between many locks of long golden hair. They look really big, because they're only a few inches apart from my own face. She's also touching my forehead with hers and holding my left cheek with her right hand, which I’m also touching with left. The eyes I have in front of me and the touch of their owner are enough to make me feel so warm.
“I'm fine, Yang.”
“Good, because we need to move. The team's still waiting for us and they must be worried.”
“Sure.” I nod, standing up. “Just let me grab…”
Gambol Shroud. I can even say her name. I see one half of her blade there and the other half over there, undoubtedly broken. Both pieces are still covered by Adam's blood. It's ironic how he broke my weapon but we were still able to kill him with it. That doesn't change the fact that my beloved weapon is broken. I feel like crying again.
“Hey” Yang says, putting his arm on my shoulder with a compassionate expression. “I know how you're feeling. Ember Celica's right half must still be in Beacon with whatever’s left of my right arm. But I got it substituted by this new arm and you can still repair Gambol Shroud.”
I nod and she smiles.
“There, I will grab that half. You take the rest.”
She grabs the pointy half of the blade and I take the one with the handle and the sheath.
“We can take a moment to wash her in the river.”
“Thank you.” I nod.
And so we start walking to the river shore.
“So…” Yang says, “I didn’t say anything, but… Was he actually branded by the SDC?”
“Oh, that.” I say, feeling bad again. “Well, it's easy to figure. He tried to protest against them and he got punished.”
“Yeah, figured that.” Yang agrees. “Not that it justifies what he did, nor does it make me feel any sympathy for him, but it's pretty sick.”
I keep feeling the darkness bottling inside me.
“Can I be honest, Yang?”
She looks at me smiling.
“Always.”
“I do feel some sympathy.”
She looks understandably shocked.
“Don't get me wrong.” I quickly correct myself, “I still hate every bad thing he did to us and all his victims and I'm glad he’s no longer a threat. But I cannot help but feel a bit sad for all of this.”
“It's okay, Blake.” Yang says, no longer that shocked. “You knew him better than I did. You two had an story and I can understand you're feeling confused right now.”
“It's not that confusing. I don't feel sympathy for Adam but for the boy I thought he was.” I try to explain. “Back then, when my parents stepped down from the White Fang because it had become too violent, I was an idiot that thought they've abandoned our cause. Adam was a young and passionate boy that believed in justice for our people and fought for it. I felt attracted to him. And the feeling was mutual for him. He trusted me enough to show me the scars hidden behind his mask and knowing how much he had suffered I felt sympathy for him and only felt even more in love with him. Then he started to change slowly, to hurt me, to scare me. I had to leave him for the best. But when he showed me his scars again today, I felt sad. I remembered that boy I once knew, that I left behind and thought things may have been different if I have stayed there and tried to change him. I know that wasn't possible.”
“Right, because he was only pretending to be heroic.” Yang follows, listening closely.
“Yes.” I admit. “First I thought he was changing because of the difficulties in our fight for equality, but I realized he was always like that and only acted like he was heroic. Even if he was never mistreated by humans, I think he would’ve ended the same. He was the personification of spite.”
“That describes him pretty well.” Yang points.
I nod.
“Then, how can I still feel bad?” I worry. “I gave him a chance to surrender even when I knew he would never do it. I knew very well that he was filled with hate, not only because others had filled him with hate, but because he was always a hateful person. At the end, we could only kill or imprison him, because he would never stop. And yet I liked the idea that he would surrender, like Ilia did. That things could end better. Now I’m feel sad.”
I chuckle nervously.
“I'm sorry. I know I must look stupid for talking like that.” I apologize to Yang.
But she's actually looking pretty compassionate.
“Blake, you know how difficult my family has been. It's been difficult for Ruby too. Weiss has her own problems with her family. But I think you've suffered the most out of us, Team RWBY. You were born in a racial conflict, participating in protests since you were a kid. Then, as you just said, you left your parents as a teen to actually fight for your cause, putting your life in danger. You were mistreated by Adam. You saw friends like Ilia become lost in all that hate. But you didn’t lose yourself. You escaped. I felt betrayed when you left me, but I can tell you leaving that life and that monster was the right thing to do, a brave decision I would say. Seeing the things you saw, you could've become a cynic that didn't trust anybody, but not you, you decided to keep fighting for all that's good by becoming a Huntress. That life returned to hurt you and you may have acted wrong when you left me, but you've done enough to atone yourself. You've managed to take over the White Fang your parents believed in. You've guided Ilia and other lost faunus back to the light. And now you're feeling that even a monster like Adam could've done better.”
I stay silent to that whole tirade, feeling overtaken by all the things she's describing, because they're true, but I've never stopped to think about them that way and hearing Yang of all people say that about me means a lot.
“Others would think you're stupid, but not me, I don’t think that of you.” She says, looking serious, but smiling gently. “I think to myself that you are the embodiment of optimism.”
Those words manage to pierce my heart like a hot blade that doesn't actually hurt, only warms me up.
“Are you serious?”
“Haha.” Yang laughs nervously. “That might been a strange comment.”
“No.” I insist. “I think it's perfect.”
She looks at me, smiling.
“Then, shall we do it?” she asks with a strangely serious tone.
“What?”
“Wash Gambol Shroud.”
I realize we've already arrived to the river shore.
“Oh. Yeah.
Bending to my knees, I approach my broken weapon to the water. I cannot help but stop for a moment to look closely at the blood that dirties it. It's Adam’s blood, the last physical bit of him that’s left in my life. Taking a deep breath, I do it. I put the blade in the waters, procuring to do it slowly, not like I was stabbing the water, but like I was washing a wounded small animal. That's what Gambol Shroud is for me right now. But worry not, my weapon, you will come back soon. As she enters the waters, the blood that dirties her starts to dissolve and be washed away by the current. As I see it go away, I say goodbye to Adam and that entire chapter of my life.
Nevermore will I be afraid, nor will I run away. It's behind me. Freedom is finally here. You took the lead but I evened the score. You won the battle, but you couldn't win the war. Not then and nevermore. You talked of subjugation; I answered your violent plea. Youth and infatuation kept me too blind to see. You thought you were someone's hero; you were hiding more than your eyes. I challenged your weak manifesto. The goal of a savior is not to be lionized. Back when it started, I thought that justice was your goal. Then in the darkness you lost your mind, I lost my soul. That’s in the past and I won't be controlled nevermore. You tortured my heart and my head. You had me down, defeated, a state that I couldn't allow. It's over my fears retreated. I'm more like I'm learning now. You offered hope, salvation, gave me a place to be, but your vision of liberation was all about you, it would never apply to me. I couldn't stay a martyr. It's my turn to take back what you stole and this time I'm smarter. I made a vow. I'm not alone. Not dying now. We're protecting our own. There’s no cause to celebrate. Another soul consumed by hate and spite, another destroyed life. There’s no pleasure or joy. It's just the story of a boy who lost his way, into shadows stray, will see the light of day nevermore.
Like my weapon, I got hurt, but I will be reborn stronger. I must focus in the future and the people that actually love me now. The people I love. I have to be stronger for them. I look at my side and see Yang kneeling beside me. She smiles at me, I smile her back. Then, she puts the other half of Gambol Shroud's blade in the water. She does it with the same level of care I did. Such a gesture melts my heart and fills it with gratitude towards her. I still don’t know how she can be so loud and gentle at the same time. Just a couple of minutes before, she was fighting Adam filled with rage and with her hair literally in flames because of her own power, but the moment the fight ends and I collapse from the mental exhaustion she comforts me with a hug. And now she is doing this for me.
“Thanks.” I say sincerely, “For being there for me.”
That seems to surprise her.
“Hey, we were there for each other.”
I smile at that comment. She's right. She smiles me back and takes her purple bandana to dry her wet half-blade. Then, she offers it to me so I can dry mine. Finally, we put both pieces of the blade inside the sheath. Even if it's still broken, Gambol Shroud pieces are now together. I will make sure to have her repaired as soon as I arrive to Atlas.
“Now we have to move.” Yang says.
“Yes.” I nod.
And so turn our backs on the river, which makes me realize…
“Bumblebee!”
Yang looks surprised for a moment, until she realizes too.
“Oh, yeah.” she looks at the waters melancholically. “Bumblebee must be at the bottom now.”
“Then we should…”
“Recover it?” she says ahead. “No, Blake. We are pretty tired and in a hurry. We have to leave her there.”
“I'm sorry!”
“Don't be. I chose to jump from the cliff and use her as a weapon.” she lets a small chuckle. “I thought I’ve learned to act less impulsively after losing my arm. At least I only lost my bike this time.”
She then startles me by firing her right shotgun to the air, which I realize is a way of improvising a funeral for Bumblebee, so I comply firing Gambol Shroud. She smiles at me.
“Sorry, Bumblebee!” she shouts. “You were a great bike and I'm sorry it had to end this way. But I love this girl there more than I loved you.”
That makes me blush.
“Yang!”
“It's the truth.” Yang says, shrugging her shoulders. “Shouldn't you say something about Bumblebee too?”
“Well…” I mutter, looking at the water, “I only rode on you twice, but I liked it so far.”
“You fell asleep on it while riding it, so you must have liked it.” Yang points out, grinning.
“I was leaning on your back. I fell asleep because of you.” I admit, a bit embarrassed.
It must be embarrassing for her too, because she blushes.
“Geez, Blake, enough with flirting with me at Bumblebee's funeral.” she tries to shrug off. “Anyways, we should move now.”
She grabs me by the hand and guides me through the forest. I follow her.
Following Yang after leaving Adam behind makes me see how stupid I was for falling in love with someone like Adam in the first place. In a way, I was never in love with him. The hero I thought he was being an act and the hurt boy I pitied barely existing. My mistake was being too young and infatuated to realize that. But now I'm more mature and I can't help to compare that dead love with the feelings I have for the girl beside me. Actually, there's no comparison. He only pretended to care for others; she really loves her family with all her heart. He tried so much in being strong; she is the embodiment of strength for all I care. He used his strength to hurt people; she actually protects others putting herself at risk. He made me feel small; she makes me try to get stronger. He tried to force me to do bad things; she encourages me to do my best. He made me flee; she makes me return. To her. And here I'll stay. For her.
Because I love you, Yang Xiao Long.