Archive of Our Own ^beta

Junmyeon wakes up, and his body aches, a sure sign he’s slept the entire night curled up in fetal position. It’s a bad habit he needs to break, but when the bed still feels all too large, it’s the only way he feels somewhat satisfied.

Stretching out, he rolls over on his back, and exhales deeply. Tension is still singing in his shoulders, his muscles pulling in weird ways, and he knows he needs to hit the gym again, to move, but he’s done his best to avoid the gym like the plague. He knows he’d feel better after a good workout, but it’s been hard to find the motivation to go alone. It’s not the same.

He flexes his feet, wiggles his toes, and scratches at his bare tummy. He can smell coffee, and that brings a smile back to his face.

“Junmyeonnie? Are you awake?” A voice carefully calls him from the kitchen, still rumbly with sleep, and Junmyeon pulls the covers up higher, nuzzles the pillow fondly. Kyungsoo must have just gotten up, even if he cannot feel his warmth in the sheets anymore. He’s always been the early bird, but on weekends, even he likes to sleep in sometimes. Junmyeon’s stretching must have alerted him that he’s awake, for usually he lies completely still in his sleep.

“I’m up,” Junmyeon croaks back in response, and stifles a quiet giggle at his flat out lie. But at least he’s awake, and that counts, does it not?

At the sound of his voice, the dogs run from the kitchen to the bedroom, and he can hear their paws on the hardwood flooring as they sprint across it. The two little poodles, Meongmul and Huchu, crash into the bedroom and jump on the bed to give Junmyeon kisses, eager to greet him now that he’s awake. They’re little attention hogs, both of them, and how could Junmyeon not indulge them, especially when he knows that they’ve been having it rough, too.

Kyungsoo follows right behind them, looking fond even if exasperated, because by his rules, the dogs are not supposed to be on the bed- but Junmyeon has always been bad at following that rule, and so was Chanyeol, and the dogs are so, so spoiled.

Third time this morning, that he thought of Chanyeol or something related to him. This is not a good total, when he’s been awake for less than five minutes.

Kyungsoo sits on the edge of the bed, and ushers the dogs to go down before he leans in to peck Junmyeon’s forehead. “Breakfast is almost ready,” he says in a soft mumble. He’s wearing his glasses, still in his pajamas, and Junmyeon would love nothing more than to pull him down on the bed for cuddles. And he would, but he knows Kyungsoo wouldn’t let it last for long. “You were getting so restless, I knew you would be awake soon, so I got the food ready.”

Junmyeon pushes himself upright, to pull Kyungsoo into a hug, and they stay there for a while, leaning on one another, arms around each other, Kyungsoo’s hands stroking up and down Junmyeon’s back. It’s a familiar position, their bodies inching closer until they’re both comfortable, even with the pressing knowledge that the food is waiting.

“I’ve told you, you don’t have to always get up before me to cook for me,” Junmyeon murmurs, rubbing his cheek against Kyungsoo’s shoulder. “And if my squirming is still waking you up and disturbing your sleep, then maybe…”

But the sentence fades away, because he can’t finish it. If his restlessness wakes up his boyfriend, then what? Neither of them can sleep completely alone, so splitting up for the night is not on the table. If either of them were to sleep on the couch, it would mean that no one but the dogs would get any sleep.

“You don’t squirm,” Kyungsoo protests, but there’s only an edge of weariness in his voice. “You just… Breathe really fast, and cling to me, and then let go, and then cling again. It’s not even that disturbing, not really. I guess I’m just really sensitive.”

Junmyeon sighs. They’ve talked about this so many times over the past few weeks- ever since this became an issue, after the breakup. And they both know that no amount of talking is going to fix it, but it’s all they can do.

Except wait. Wait for it to get better.

“I’m sorry.”

“You don’t have t say sorry. It’s not your fault.”

They both sigh quietly, and break away from the embrace then. It’s become part of the routine, almost- a moment of reorienting themselves, a silent admittance of how the current state of things without having to say it out loud. A reminder that while this still hurts, while this is still so difficult, they’re getting through this.

And it hurts too, to imagine Chanyeol, somewhere, waking up by himself with his dog Toben, without either of them by his side. It worries Junmyeon, thinking about Chanyeol’s extroverted nature, and it would seem almost unfair that he gets to still have Kyungsoo- but then he remembers that it was Chanyeol who broke up with them. It was his choice, and his alone.

He doesn’t know what he would do without Kyungsoo.

“C’mon, breakfast is waiting, and we need to walk the dogs. They’re going a little stir crazy.” Kyungsoo pats down Junmyeon’s bed hair even as he stands up from the bed. “And then it’s time for the spring cleaning. I’ve personally been going stir crazy having to look at the dirty windows with the sunshine now shining through so much.”

Junmyeon groans involuntarily, even if at the same time he’s grateful. Grateful that Kyungsoo has the sensibility about him to keep the wheels turning; that he hasn’t allowed Junmyeon to crumble into pieces of self-pity and misery, hasn’t allowed him to drop everything to wallow in mourning. Even if that was okay for the first two weeks after the breakup, it would have descended into self-destruction soon enough afterwards.

Kyungsoo keeps him moving forward, while Junmyeon tries to remind him that it’s alright to take time to process these emotions.

It still feels unbalanced, off center, but it’s alright. They’re figuring it out. As unlikely as it is, they’re making it work.

The TV is on, but neither of them are really paying any attention to it. Junmyeon is spooning Kyungsoo from behind on the couch, face buried in the nape of his neck, while Kyungsoo is scrolling on his phone, murmuring under his breath whenever he types in something. Junmyeon pays that no mind, idly stroking Kyungsoo’s stomach with his hand and just willing his body to relax into the couch, into the warmth of Kyungsoo’s body beside him. Maybe if he goes to bed completely lax and pliant, he won’t keep Kyungsoo awake with his restlessness. Maybe he can stretch out his body, reclaim the space that Chanyeol left behind.

Kyungsoo pats his hip to get his attention. “I’ll walk the dogs soon,” Junmyeon murmurs back, stifling a yawn. It has been a long day at work- perhaps it’s because he finds it so hard to focus, these days. “Just five minutes.”

“That’s not what I was going to say.” Kyungsoo’s words are kind, but there’s a subtle hint there. They’ve had to talk a lot about assuming and guessing; mainly how that doesn’t work in a relationship. With their most talkative and open boyfriend now gone, they have to relearn communication all over again. “But thank you for thinking about it. But I was gonna ask, should we go to Ikea tomorrow?”

Junmyeon hums quietly as he mulls it over, thumb rubbing circle on Kyungsoo’s bare hip underneath his shirt. “Ikea?” He can’t quite make sense of it. “Why do we need to go there?”

He both feels and hears Kyungsoo sigh. “Because it’s been like two months since Chanyeol left, nearly three, and the apartment still looks like it just got torn apart. We need to replace the furniture and stuff he took with him.”

Junmyeon doesn’t have to open his eyes to know what Kyungsoo is talking about. Their apartment is almost half empty, currently, mostly because when they all moved in together, almost all of their furniture came from Kyungsoo and Chanyeol who had been living together for a long time already. Junmyeon only brought in his personal items, a bookcase, some knickknacks.

Chanyeol hadn’t wanted most of the bigger furniture; not the bed, not the couch. But he took the TV set, the armchair, his instruments, the dining table. He picked out little things from here and there, leaving behind empty spaces that neither Kyungsoo or Junmyeon knew how to fill up again. Just how Junmyeon hasn’t been able to reclaim the bed, they haven’t reclaimed the empty space in the rest of the apartment.

“There’s no hurry.” There really isn’t, but Junmyeon knows that this irks Kyungsoo more than it does him. Kyungsoo wants this place to look nice, inviting, and right now… It’s only a reminder of what used to be.

“We’ve waited long enough. I want a new rug here, a new armchair, and we have to get the TV off the floor. I worry every single day that the dogs are going to break it when we’re not here.” Kyungsoo takes his hand and slots their fingers together tightly. “I don’t want this place to look like we’re… waiting for something. I want it to be our home.”

Junmyeon understands. He presses a tender kiss on the nape of Kyungsoo’s neck, and nods, letting Kyungsoo feel the movement along his skin so he doesn’t have to voice it, verbalize it.

He’s more sentimental. He doesn’t want to let go- let go of the possibility that Chanyeol could come back, and fill up this space again. Even if he knows better, he doesn’t want to permanently close the door to that possibility.

But he also doesn’t want Kyungsoo to be unhappy.

“I’ll try to get off work earlier.”

Ikea is just as awful as Junmyeon remembers it. Screeching children running amok, tired adults arguing about what they need and don’t need, people impatiently lining up for the meatballs and lingonberry jam, the labyrinth of the massive space making it impossible to know which way they even came from. If it wasn’t for Kyungsoo’s hand squeezing his, guiding him, not letting go even as they push through crowds of people, Junmyeon would succumb to a panic attack quite fast. His heart is already bounding uncomfortably, irritation crawling on his skin like a disgusting insect, creeping up on him.

But he’s here to for Kyungsoo’s sake.

At least their taste in furniture is very similar; neat, modern, simple, cozy. There’s no need to argue, they know what they like when they see it. Kyungsoo prepared a list of things they should get, things he wants, and Junmyeon tries to contribute with what he can, pointing out things he thinks Kyungsoo might like, things that might look nice in their home.
His fingers itch for his phone, out of habit. It feels odd, still, to be out just the two of them, and not having to text someone else… Ask someone else’s opinion on these things.

“Shit, I think we already walked past the Tupperware containers that I wanted,” Kyungsoo murmurs as they enter the rug section. “They were right by the other kitchen stuff, weren’t they?”

“Is it really Tupperware if it’s Ikea?” Junmyeon asks out loud, and only gets a slight glare from Kyungsoo for his attempt at being a smartass. “But yeah, I think that’s where they are. Do you want to go back for them?”

“You can stay here,” Kyungsoo is quick to say, pulling his hand away from Junmyeon’s. “I’ll just make a quick dash for them. You go feel some of those rugs for me, I want to get the softest one.”

“Alright,” Junmyeon quips back, but Kyungsoo is already gone. Feeling suddenly disoriented, all by himself in the crowd, he makes himself over to the rugs hung up on the display wall to dutifully touch and stroke all of them, feeling for their softness, assessing how comfortable they would be to walk on with bare feet. If the dogs would enjoy them.

“A friend of mine once told me to judge rugs and carpets by if you’d find them nice to sleep on when you’re too drunk to make it to bed,” a voice right beside him says, and Junmyeon turns his head, surprised to find himself looking at a man he doesn’t know- a man only slightly taller than him, with a stylishly messy hair and stylishly oversized clothes, and massive shoes, his eyes twinkling as he looks back at him.

Junmyeon can’t help but look down at his own outfit; neat, light wash jeans with the cuffs rolled up, his neat sweater that he French tucked into his jeans, his nicely fitted jacket. He cannot fathom why this man would even talk to someone like him- but he did, and it would be rude to not respond.

“That sounds… That sounds like advice I would have wanted to follow in college, but would have been too broke to do so.” He flashes the man a smile. “And now that I can afford it, I think I might be a little too old for getting pass out drunk, you know?”

The man chuckles, and doesn’t hide how he checks him out, a playful edge to how he’s playing it up, even if the attention is still so, so flattering. “You don’t look a day older than 21, but if fancy wine drinking is more your style, I’m sure it would still be nice to do it on a soft carpet.” The man points at a particular one; its woven texture a mix of different colors, shades of blue, dotted with white and sparse specks of yellow, the high, thick pile appearing lush and luxurious even from afar. Junmyeon hadn’t seen it yet, as he was making his way through to that side. It’s appealing, very much so, a beautiful mix of colors.

Junmyeon reaches out to touch it as well, and finds himself stepping closer to the man, close enough that one of them should step away, make space. But the man doesn’t budge, his arm hovering right beside Junmyeon’s as they both feel the rug, play with its long strands of yarn. “I can imagine you sitting on this one,” the man says, his pitch lowered, just a little. “Drinking wine, getting a little tipsy. Eating and laughing until you’re too tired get up, to brush your teeth, to take off your clothes, and so you just lay down right where you are, and you realize just how comfy it is. That maybe you don’t need to get up, after all. Maybe you even fall asleep right then and there, and wake up in the morning, not knowing where you are.”

“That’s… quite the image.” Junmyeon’s mouth is a little dry, suddenly, his mind a little foggy. It’s such a nice picture- he doesn’t drink often, doesn’t like to, but something like that he could surely enjoy. “You’re selling it very well.”

The man laughs, unabashed, and finally takes a step back to give Junmyeon some space. “I swear I don’t work here,” he says, and flashes him a boxy, teasing smile. “I just like to think about these things, you know? Like my mind just goes there, without asking.”

Junmyeon juts out his lower lip without even thinking. “And here I thought I was special,” he replies with, pitching his voice higher for emphasis as he whines, and the man laughs again.

“But you are,” he insists, and it sounds almost confusingly sincere, coming from a complete stranger like this. “I wouldn’t have spoken to you otherwise, you see. But I think I have to run now, my brother must be getting antsy. He says he hates running errands with me, but he needed someone to help carry his new furniture, so here we are.”

“Oh, by all means- bye bye.” And just like that, the stranger walks away, vanishing into the sea of people and Scandinavian furniture.

“Who was that?” Kyungsoo emerges before Junmyeon has time to reorient himself, his hand slightly possessive as it presses against Junmyeon’s lower back. “Someone you know? I don’t think I recognized his face, though.”

Junmyeon shrugs a little, “No, I don’t know him. We just started talking, while we were looking at the rugs together. But I don’t know who he was, or anything. Did you get the Tupperware?”

Kyungsoo nods, and points at the shopping cart where the little containers are all arranged neatly. “What about you? Did you find a rug you like?”

“This one.” Junmyeon points at the one he and the man talked about, and runs his hand through the long yarn once again, just to feel the softness of it. The man convinced him; the image is now so vivid in his head, he can’t imagine getting any other rug now. “It’s so soft, it feels so nice, and I think we need a splash of color for the living room. Don’t you think?”

In fact, Kyungsoo doesn’t think that- but Junmyeon manages to convince him, and they walk out of Ikea with the rug in tow, as well as everything else they need to refurnish the apartment. To make it their home, now.

Junmyeon especially sells Kyungsoo on the rug when he later gets on his knees on it, settling in between Kyungsoo’s strong thighs to blow him, and then after demands Kyungsoo to fuck him right there, in the middle of the living room. And the stranger was right- it is comfortable, even on all fours, Kyungsoo kneeling behind him to fuck him hard. It’s even soft enough for post coital cuddles, as well, even if Kyungsoo complains that they shouldn’t get the new rug dirty so soon- but it’s so comfortable and inviting, that it’s impossible to find the will to get up.

Making new memories, unrelated to what once was. It matters.

Going to the gym is still too daunting, but the dogs at least still need regular exercise; it used to be mostly Chanyeol’s task, too, to make sure that Myeongmul, Huchu, and Toben were all getting walked enough, but now that responsibility sits with Junmyeon and Kyungsoo. So, with the dogs clearly being quite frustrated with how little they’ve been walked lately, Junmyeon heads out with them after work.

He takes the subway with them, to get to a nice park and away from the busy streets. Myeongmul and Huchu are always so well behaved, but now, seeing and smelling everything in the park all at once, they’re clearly itching to just run to their hearts’ content. Junmyeon is a little worried about letting them loose, relinquishing control, but seeing how much they’re just aching to run and play, he can’t help but give in.

And it’s so much fun. Junmyeon brought a ball with him, as well, to toss for the dogs, and they appear so delighted to be outside, free, running around with their owner. But it also brings with it a pang of guilt; how hard this change must have been for the dogs, who can’t explain why two members of the pack are suddenly gone, and won’t come back. There’s no way to explain it to them, however, and Junmyeon hopes that they’re alright. That they don’t miss Chanyeol or Toben too terribly.

He’s brought out of his thoughts when a man running by with a corgi suddenly catch Myeongmul’s attention, and the naughty poodle sprints away after them, Huchu joining it in the wild chase. There’s nothing Junmyeon can do except run after them, yelling out their names even if he knows that it’s not doing anything to stop them, the two furry little demons catching up with the jogging man and his friendly looking corgi in no time at all.

“I’m so sorry, so sorry,” Junmyeon calls out, panting, as he runs the rest of the way over. At least the dogs seem just fine, sniffing each other out carefully, dancing around one another cautiously but wagging their tails nonetheless. It gives Junmyeon a chance to clip in their leashes, making sure they can’t run away from him again.

“I’m so sorry, I really am,” he repeats, trying to catch his breath as he finally makes eye contact with the man. To his surprise, however, it’s the guy from Ikea- his hair is now pushed back with a wide headband and his stylish outfit has been swapped for sweats and a hoodie more fit for running, but it’s him. And it’s obvious that he recognizes Junmyeon as well, with how he’s smiling at him, in fact grinning at him.

“No harm done, here,” he says, easy, relaxed. “Mongryong likes company, and your puppers are being so nice. Not to mention, this feels like it was fated. I mean, what are the chances of us meeting up again?”

“Slim to none,” Junmyeon admits with a laugh, and he crouches down to give Mongryong some friendly pets and scratches. “But I’m still not proud of these two little rascals. They should know better than this.”

The man squats down as well, and Huchu and Myeongmul are also quite excited to get to know him, especially when he reveals that he has treats in his pocket. “Do you come here often? Because I jog here almost every other day, and I’ve never seen you guys before.” The man grins a little, acknowledging the cheesiness of his line even if he probably meant it quite sincerely. “Or is this like a new adventure or something?”

Junmyeon squirms a little, and doesn’t quite know what to say. “I haven’t been here before, not often anyway,” he finally says, deciding to be honest. “You might have seen the dogs, though, because I think this is where my boyfriend used to walk them. Now it’s my duty, though, so for me this is an adventure indeed. Maybe that’s why they’re misbehaving, as well. I don’t quite have the same touch with them as my boyfriend did.”

The man raises his eyebrows, just slightly, but enough that Junmyeon thinks he caught on with what he left unsaid. “Well, no harm done, here,” he repeats, however, instead of commenting on it. “I’m actually really happy to have bumped into you again. Which rug did you end up getting, the other day? Did you get the one I told you should?”

Something about how smug he is makes Junmyeon want to toy with him a little. “Ah, I got something else,” he lies, not wanting to give him the satisfaction of knowing that he persuaded him so easily. “It was a little wild for my tastes, after all.”

“That’s too bad.” The man stands back up again, and so does Junmyeon. Mongryong has lost all interest in the poodles, and is pulling on his leash to keep going forward. It’s clear what he wants. “Somehow I think it would have suited you so well.”

“Bold of you to say that, when you know nothing about me.” Junmyeon says this without thinking, but it only makes the guy laugh, heartily.

“You’re right- but also, you’re not. I now know you have two adorable dogs, for one.” He chuckles, and takes a step to walk away. “And you know I have a chubby corgi, as well. So I’d say, as far as strangers go, we know a great deal about each other. But I think I have to keep going, before my muscles completely seize up. I’ll see you around, though, I’m sure of it.”

There’s a lot of things about that statement- for one, they don’t even know each other’s names, and not having exchanged contacts, it seems unlike they would run into each other again. But he did say he comes here every other day, so suppose that’s plenty already.

If Junmyeon wants to see him again, of course. And why should he?

“Enjoy your run.”

“I will, although I’m sure that I’ve already experienced the best part of it.” The man has the audacity to wink, before darting off, and Junmyeon can do nothing but stand there with his poodles, not at all sure how to feel or what to think.

But he brushes it off, because it doesn’t matter. He’s not going to run into this dude ever again, anyway.

It’s a perfectly okay Tuesday night, all things considered. They’ve gone to bed early, Kyungsoo to read a novel and Junmyeon to scroll through Instagram while waiting to get sleepy enough to put his phone down and close his eyes. It’s uneventful, but it’s good; Junmyeon has been feeling a little more out of sorts all day, the yearning inside him somehow stronger today than it’s been lately, and all he wanted to do was to wallow in it. He knows it’s not productive or sensible, but he can’t help himself.

Kyungsoo seems to sense his sour mood, reaching over to run a hand down his back gently, rubbing at his shoulders with a soft hum. “You’ve been sleeping a little better, lately,” he comments, voice tender. “Sometimes, when you fall asleep before me, I can get you to unfurl a little.”

Junmyeon makes a noise just to show him that he’s listening. “Yeah. But only if I hold you against my body really tightly. I guess it makes up for needing to curl up like that.” Kyungsoo’s fingers brush into his hair, massage his scalp lightly. He’s quiet for a moment. “Do you still miss him a lot?”

At first, Junmyeon doesn’t quite know what to say. “Sometimes,” he finally settles for. “Sometimes… everything seems to remind me of him. Or I get the urge to text him something I know he’d find funny, or cute. I want to talk about you with someone who loves you as much as I do… I want to fall asleep to the sound of you guys talking, or fucking.” He presses his face to the outside of Kyungsoo’s bare thigh, and closes his eyes. He’s not going to cry.

Kyungsoo’s rubs his back more firmly, in even, long strokes, guiding him to breathe more steadily. “I know,” he whispers, and the pain is there. That same longing. “I miss the group chat… I miss you two gushing about Pokémon or Star Wars, I miss bickering with him and having you come in to stop us. I miss Toben… I miss his mom and sister, too.”
Chanyeol’s family had never had any problem with the idea of all three of them dating, when Junmyeon had been added to the equation. They had always felt like a second family to Junmyeon; he could only begin to guess how much Kyungsoo had cherished them, having known them much longer.

He places his hand on Kyungsoo’s inner thigh, caressing the bare skin with just his fingertips. “But we’re doing alright, aren’t we?” he says after a moment of silence. “We’re… we’re moving forward, right?”

“That, we are.” Kyungsoo says this with a snivel, and he finally puts away his book, to turn off the light and to lie down properly right next to Junmyeon. “We’re okay. We’re better than we were when he left.”

“True.” It had been so difficult- the first week still a complete blur to Junmyeon. Had Kyungsoo not chased him out of bed each day, to make sure he at least ate and showered. That he knew and felt Kyungsoo’s affection and dedication, even if in that moment, it felt somewhat insignificant.

It wasn’t. It never was.

“I’m so grateful I could keep you,” Kyungsoo murmurs into the crown of his head, firm hands guiding Junmyeon to practically rest on top of him, with his head pillowed on his sturdy chest, his arms forming an unwavering ring around him. “If I lost both of you, at the same time… I don’t know how I could have survived that.”

Junmyeon nods, silent, lets Kyungsoo feel the weight of him on top of him, find comfort in it. “I’m grateful for you, too,” he says, “I love you.”

“I love you, too.”

Junmyeon does his best to fall asleep like this, providing Kyungsoo with the touch and reassurance he needs. And he does initially succumb to sleep in this position, seeking and finding comfort in Kyungsoo’s touch; they used to sleep like this, sometimes, especially if Chanyeol was away or if Junmyeon was sick somehow. It helps make the bed feel less upsettingly huge, the silence on the other side of him less deafening with the sound of Kyungsoo’s heartbeat loud in his ears, the sound of his breaths guiding his to stay in sync.

Sometime during the night, he still wakes up curled up tiny, but at least Kyungsoo is still right there beside him, spooning him from behind with his arms around him.

They have each other.

It’s maybe a bit silly, but Junmyeon takes the dogs to the park again, even if it’s a little far out. He reasons that the dogs really enjoy running freely, something they so rarely get to do, and since he has the time and motivation, he should do it. For them. He has the foresight to bring treats with him, so the dogs will hopefully listen to him a little better than last time.

He’s already exhausted Huchu and Myeongmul completely, when he spots the now familiar figure sprinting down the north side of the park, the happy corgi running along with him. Hesitantly, Junmyeon raises his hand up to wave at him- just to acknowledge him, he figures, just to be polite.

He’s not upset to see the man change course and run over to him, the dogs perking up as well when they see another dog approaching. Junmyeon can only barely keep them under control with the help of the treats, something that the man comments on as soon as he’s close enough that he doesn’t have to yell.

“I don’t think they’re listening to you as much as they’re listening to their stomachs,” he says with a laugh. Laughing and smiling a lot seems to be just a thing he does- a wonderful thing. “But I guess all dogs are the same. It’s not like mine cares about what I tell him to do either.”

The dogs are all over each other already, and the man lets the leash fall down so that Mongryong can wrestle the two poodles much more easily. They’re all so terribly excited, which is such a delight to see. Junmyeon takes out his phone to film it for a little bit, intending to show it to Kyungsoo later.

“I didn’t want you to have to stop running, though,” Junmyeon says, even if it’s entirely too late now. “I just saw you and wanted to say hi really quick. It’s nice to see familiar faces around here.”

“No, it’s no bother. I like talking to you.” The man is still all smiles. “Running isn’t even something I like to do, but both me and Mongryong would get fat so quickly if we stopped doing it.”

Junmyeon chuckles, and nods in understanding. The weight doesn’t stay away or come off as easily as it once did; he can very much relate to this man’s dilemma.

“But you’re like, very handsome,” he awkwardly points out. “I don’t think couple of extra kilos would do anything about it.”

“Thanks.” The pleased grin is hard to miss. “But before we exchange any more compliments, I think we should exchange names, first. I’m Baekhyun.”

Junmyeon takes his outstretched hand and shakes it, supporting his hand by the elbow as is appropriate. “I’m Kim Junmyeon,” he’s quick to say, quite happy that the introductions went over so smoothly. “I’m turning 28 soon.”

“Oh, so you’re a hyung, then.” Baekhyun has such a pretty eye smile. “Junmyeonnie hyung. I like that. It has a nice ring to it.”

“Thank you,” Junmyeon replies with, and doesn’t quite know why he’s blushing so much.

This is not the last time he meets up with Baekhyun at the park, together with the dogs.

Since they’ve both more than deserved this, Kyungsoo books them tickets to see a pansori play at the Seoul Arts Center. It was originally Chanyeol who got them both into exploring new, exciting music, and it’s an achievement of sorts to be doing this without him. They both know this, even if they don’t say it; before, it would have been Chanyeol who would have initiated this kind of excursion, even if Junmyeon and Kyungsoo would have both gladly agreed to it.

Now, they’re going to make new memories, just the two of them.

It’s been a while since they’ve had an excuse to dress nice, but finally they do, which makes this all the more special. Junmyeon spends a great deal of time selecting the clothes for the outing, not wanting to appear too stiff but also wishing to look his best. Kyungsoo’s wardrobe is far simpler; he prefers black, all black, and as such has very little problems matching pieces together. But he’s supportive of Junmyeon’s fashion endeavors, commenting on what looks nice and what he thinks he should try to pair with what.

It’s easy, comfortable chat, and the ache in Junmyeon’s chest dissipates to make way for the excitement for tonight.

They arrive at the venue early, and take a quick tour around the arts center before heading inside the venue. Most of the audience is much older than them; pansori isn’t so popular anymore, and it seems as if anyone else here under the age of forty is here against their own will. Kyungsoo and Junmyeon snicker about it as they make their way to their seats, off to the side, separated from the long rows of seats in the middle. But the view isn’t what is important in pansori, performed by only the singer and the drummer alone. The only visual elements would be the singer moving on stage, gesturing with their hands and their large fan, and nothing else.

Kyungsoo and Junmyeon are hunched over a leaflet, reading about the play they’re about to see, when a person appears at the end of the row and quietly excuses himself to get past them to his own seat. They both stand up to make way, and Junmyeon just nods his head to acknowledge the man without looking at him, his mind more so focused on what he was reading and what he is about to see in just a few short moments.

But the man is paying attention.

“So not only do you enjoy walking your dogs in the same park as me, and shopping for furniture at the same store as me, but you also enjoy music at the same venues as me? If my life was more exciting than it is, I would assume that you must be stalking me or something.”

Junmyeon looks up, having just sat down, and he’s quite surprised to see Baekhyun there. “Baekhyun!” he exclaims, staring at him, not quite believing this to be true. “How’d you get here? I mean, like- this is crazy.”

“Not really. You told me you were coming to see this performance, so I figured I might as well join you. Keep you company.” Baekhyun says this with a teasing wink, and Junmyeon can’t make sense of this situation at all. “But before you even suggest that you’re somehow putting me out- I’m like a pansori fiend, so I often come to see pansori performances. I think they’re really… awe-inspiring, in a lot of ways.”

Junmyeon jumps at this opportunity, this plausible explanation, wanting it to be true, and smiles at him excitedly. “Oh, but that’s so fun! You should have told me you were going to come as well, so I wouldn’t have gushed about it to you like you didn’t know what it was. And if you know so much, then you can probably help us as well, if we get confused or don’t understand something,” he says, gesturing at Kyungsoo who gives a timid, reserved smile at the man. It has always been Junmyeon (or Chanyeol) who’s done the socializing for him, especially with new people. “This is our first time at a proper pansori performance. We’ve seen snippets and stuff, but this is all so new to us.”

“Pansori virgins, I like that,” Baekhyun grins, unabashed. “I certainly won’t mind having you whispering in my ear all night long.” He turns then to Kyungsoo to introduce himself. “I’m Baekhyun, by the way. Byun Baekhyun.”

“And I’m Bond, James Bond,” Kyungsoo dryly quips, and Baekhyun and Junmyeon both burst into loud laughter. A couple of people turn and stare, bringing a hint of blush to Junmyeon’s cheeks. “Do Kyungsoo. You seem to know Junmyeon from somewhere?”

“We’ve run into each other before,” Junmyeon hurries to explain. “At the park- we both walk our dogs there, and Huchu and Myeongmul adore his little corgi. It’s so much fun, watching them play together.”

“I see.” Kyungsoo squeezes his hand briefly before letting go, but he’s still smiling. “That does sound quite lovely, to be honest.”

“Well, only about as comfortable as chatting in sweaty workout clothes can be.” Baekhyun says this so seriously, only to burst into laughter right after.

“Kyungsoo wouldn’t know, he only enjoys sports in anime,” Junmyeon teases, and he doesn’t have to look to know that Kyungsoo is rolling his eyes at him, even if he’s accepting the joke fondly. And he would tease him some more, but now the lights are being dimmed in the venue, a clear indication that the show is about to begin, and so it’s time to quiet down. All of them direct their attention to the stage, then, waiting with bated breath for the singer and the drummer to appear.

And it is very lovely to have Baekhyun there, who not only knows the play inside and out, but he also is very good at chuimsae, the shouts of encouragement and short, yelled responses to what is going on in the play- no one else in the audience is doing that because pansori is no longer performed in a communal setting, where this kind of participation was considered a part of the entire performance. But it’s obvious the performers are appreciative of this, the drummer especially directing smiles at them whenever Baekhyun’s chuimsae hits into a very good spot in the narration, adding more flavor and nuance to it, almost making him the third performer.

Junmyeon is sure that Kyungsoo must be quite mortified, but he’s enjoying it tremendously. He doesn’t dare to join Baekhyun’s chuimsae with shouts of his own, but the story is all the more intriguing for it. The singer is passionate, as well, his voice impressive and carrying perfectly even without a microphone, the drummer obviously very used to working with him and following his cues well. It’s just a great joy to witness, the whole experience giving him a stronger idea of how it might have been like to watch and listen to pansori in the olden days.

There’s a brief intermission during the performance, and Junmyeon finds that he enjoys Baekhyun’s easy banter but also his deep knowledge of pansori very much. Time flies when he’s talking to him; Baekhyun mimics the singer’s antics so well, replaying some of the funniest scenes in the story, adding more of his own flare to it as well, and Junmyeon and Kyungsoo are both dying from laughter just watching him act silly.

“You could perform pansori on your own, too,” Junmyeon says, and he means it. “You’re so good at doing all that- and it sounds like you even have a good voice.” Baekhyun has been part singing part speaking the lyrics and dialogue as he’s been joking around, and his voice does sound lovely. Soothing.

Baekhyun shakes his head at that. “No, that’s where you’re wrong,” he chides him. “Pansori singers- they have a very specific singing tone and voice. They develop the volume but also the hoarseness of it by singing for hours beside waterfalls. If I were to become a pansori singer, first I would have to ruin my nice voice, and transform it into that of a pansori singer.”

“It wouldn’t make you any less charming, though.” Junmyeon doesn’t think how his words would sound like before saying them, but the realization hits him immediately, leaving him blushing all the way up to the tips of his ears. He’s never this bold, and he doesn’t know what’s gotten into him. The look he gets from Kyungsoo says that his boyfriend doesn’t really understand him either.

The rest of the evening goes by rather quickly. The performance isn’t a full-length retelling of the story, sparing the audience from the daunting challenge of sitting through over four hours of pansori. Not that they would mind- but it would just be very intense. Yet somehow, Junmyeon is left craving for more; he could tell where the gaps in the story were, even if the performers did an excellent job at reshaping the story to make it shorter. He will have to commit to listening to an original version of the story, someday.

Baekhyun bids them goodnight cheerfully, and Junmyeon thinks nothing of this at all, not until Kyungsoo points it out to him once they make it all the way home.

“That man, Baekhyun… You do realize why he was there, you know?” Kyungsoo is doing his best to act aloof and unconcerned about it, but Junmyeon can tell that he cares. That he’s ruffled, somehow. “Like- he didn’t just show up spontaneously. Those tickets were kind of expensive.”

Junmyeon pauses in undressing himself, and turns to look at Kyungsoo properly. “I mean- I guess you’re right. He must have thought about it, but like, we haven’t exchanged phone numbers or anything. So I guess he decided he wanted to see it, but couldn’t reach me to tell me.”

Kyungsoo shakes his head at this. “I’m not as socially skilled as you are,” he says. “But listen to me here, hyung. He didn’t just drop by. He thought you were asking him out, when you told him about wanting to see this performance. Or even if you weren’t directly asking him, you were giving him a window he could use, if he wanted. And clearly he did.”

Junmyeon’s brows knit together as he tries to make sense of what Kyungsoo is saying. “No way,” is all he can say in response to that. “There’s no way he would have thought that- why would he have done that, for me? That doesn’t make sense.”

His attempts at trying to deflect this possibility don’t deter Kyungsoo in the slightest. “He was flirting with you the entire time,” he deadpans. “And you were flirting right back. Not that you necessarily meant it like that, I know how you play off of other people’s energies, but seriously. He was totally and definitely flirting with you.”

Now that… It makes a little more sense. Baekhyun really is sort of flirty, that’s for sure, but Junmyeon never thought that he meant anything by it. The thought never occurred to him, but he knows he’s always been a bit of an idiot in matters concerning love. When Chanyeol and Kyungsoo wanted to start dating him, they very quickly discovered that subtle hints weren’t going to get through to him.

It’s just so absurd regardless.

He comes up to wrap his arms around Kyungsoo, who allows it, even rubs his hand over Junmyeon’s lower back comfortingly. “I’m sorry about that,” Junmyeon hesitantly says. “I wasn’t doing it on purpose. I wouldn’t do that in front of you- and not behind your back! I wouldn’t.”

“I know.” Kyungsoo presses a tender kiss on his cheek. “And I think that eventually… Eventually, it would be nice to be a threesome again. Not because you’re not enough, but because I just really liked it. So if you do want to start flirting with somebody, that’s fine for as long as you’re open and honest about it. I was just taken off guard, tonight.”

Junmyeon is relieved to have Kyungsoo voice the thoughts that had been circling in his head as of late. The more time passes since the breakup, the more obvious it has gotten that he does want another person there- eventually. He just wasn’t brave enough to bring it up to Kyungsoo, yet.

“I don’t know if Baekhyun is that person,” he admits, for the sake of complete transparency. “I mean, I like him- but I didn’t ever think about him like that.”

“Hm, I get that. But I’m just saying, there’s a spark, even if it’s unrequited.” Kyungsoo pats his bum and steps away to continue getting undressed. “So if you don’t want to encourage it, you’re gonna have to watch yourself.”

“I will.” Junmyeon says this in earnest.

After all, he’s still not quite over Chanyeol, and besides; what are the odds that Baekhyun would want this kind of arrangement, anyway?

Despite all this, however, Junmyeon finds himself heading back to the park only a few days later. A part of him knows that it might just be easier to stay away, but he doesn’t want to cause that kind of pain to Baekhyun. He can’t just vanish- he doesn’t want to just vanish.

And Baekhyun doesn’t hesitate to run up to him, just how he’s made a habit of doing, except this time Junmyeon finds it hard to talk about anything. He’s entirely too aware of Baekhyun now, his every move, his tone of voice, his choice of words.

They make stilted chitchat about the dogs, and Junmyeon makes the mistake of asking what Baekhyun did over the weekend. This, of course, only leads to the one topic he wasn’t sure he wanted to touch on- the pansori performance.

Baekhyun’s smile disappears, and Junmyeon feels so out of sorts immediately. “You know, hyung… I thought that when you hinted at your recent breakup, that would mean that you’re single. But somehow, and correct me if I’m wrong, it almost seemed as if… As if you were out on a date. With your boyfriend.”

Junmyeon’s heart drops down to his stomach. He loathes disappointing people, and even more so, he hates confrontation. But Baekhyun doesn’t seem angry- just confused, and perhaps a bit wounded. But that’s no fault of his own. Junmyeon understands.

But it’s not an easy thing to explain the confusing situation that his current relationship status is.

“Baekhyun-ah, it’s… I’m sorry, I haven’t been fully transparent with you.” Junmyeon can’t help but look around, to make sure no one is within earshot. Even if none of these strangers should care, he still doesn’t want anyone to be eavesdropping. “It’s true that I’ve recently gone through a breakup, and it’s also true that I’m not single. Because… Because I used to have two boyfriends.”

The past tense is still upsetting. Admitting to the breakup to other people is upsetting, even if him and Kyungsoo can talk about it quite freely. It feels as though he’s admitting to a great failure of some kind. Yet even more than that, he worries about Baekhyun’s reaction; if he will be able to understand.

Baekhyun blinks at him, and Junmyeon realizes how his words could be misunderstood.

“Two boyfriends who were also dating one another,” he hurries to add. “We were a threesome, I guess you could say. For a couple of years. Until one of us… decided that he didn’t want to be together anymore.”

People fall out of love all the time; it’s not a huge tragedy, in that sense. But it still hurts. That Chanyeol could stop loving- that he would leave them behind.
Perhaps it hurts so badly because Junmyeon is not only grieving for himself, but for Kyungsoo as well.

Baekhyun’s jaw has dropped, although he hurries to cover up his surprise hastily. “That’s… That’s sucky,” he says, then, and his silly choice of words is enough to make Junmyeon smile again despite himself.

“I mean, at least I still have Kyungsoo. It’s alright. We’re doing alright.” The more he says it, the more time passes, the more he believes it. “I’m sorry I didn’t… make this clear. I’m sorry I confused you. I didn’t ever mean to.”

The smile Baekhyun gives him isn’t quite as confident as before, not quite as charming as before, and Junmyeon knows that whatever pain he must have caused him will take time to heal. He doesn’t want Baekhyun to feel ashamed, but how could he convey that? He can tell Baekhyun wouldn’t want him to pity him, either.

He could say how much he admires Baekhyun’s bravery, for making such a bold move; jumping on the chance to see Junmyeon, to show him that he wants something more than just walking their dogs together. Junmyeon could never take initiative like that, and he finds it so very charming. But there’s no way to put that into adequate words.

“Kyungsoo said you looked very handsome,” he chooses to say instead, and Baekhyun laughs, still brittle in how it’s not quite real, but it’s better.

It’s better.

“Do you think that… that Chanyeol misses us?” Junmyeon can’t help but ask out loud one night. He’s had a couple of glasses of wine, which is probably what prompted him to this courage. “Like… Does he ever lie awake at night, thinking about us?”

Does he regret leaving us.

Kyungsoo turns to look at him, his eyes searching for the things that Junmyeon left unsaid. “He’s quite sentimental,” he finally says, directing his eyes back at the TV at the sound of a large explosion on screen. He’s tipsy as well, which makes Junmyeon feel better. Drunks can’t judge other drunks. “So I guess he might do that. Although if you ask me, I don’t think you really should get the right to do that, when you’re the person who ended things.”

Junmyeon nods, as he combs his fingers through the yarns of the rug. It’s calming in the same way that petting a large dog would be, even if a little pathetic. But the dogs are both sleeping in the bedroom, and of no use to him.

“Do you think he… really stopped loving us?” It seems so cruel. Someone as overwhelmingly loving and dedicated as Chanyeol could just one day wake up and realize that he no longer loves you… It’s scary.

Kyungsoo shakes his head slowly at that. “I don’t think that was ever the case,” he replies with, and he sounds so sure. “I don’t know if he’s ever been able to stop loving anyone who was ever a part of his life. We just… grew apart. He grew out of this relationship, I guess. And I don’t think it was easy for him to admit that, but I’m glad he did.”

“I feel embarrassed that I’m taking this so hard,” Junmyeon murmurs, carefully setting his glass aside to make sure he can’t break it on accident. “I dated him only half as long as you did…”

“To be completely fucking honest, I always had a feeling about Chanyeol. That in the end, I wouldn’t be able to keep him.” Kyungsoo says this like he’s reading the weather, but his eyes give away how much it hurts to admit that. “Like he was only passing by in my life, and eventually I would have to let go.”

Junmyeon has never felt such a thing about anyone, so he can’t say he completely understands. But in his drunken brain, it sparks a question.

“Do you feel that way about me, as well?” he cannot help but ask, even if at the same time, he fears the answer. He knows Kyungsoo wouldn’t lie to him, sober or not.

Kyungsoo turns to properly look at him again, holding his gaze steadily. “You’re my bedrock,” he says, and he’s so, so earnest. “The day that I lose you, I lose everything. It’s why I didn’t want to break up with you, even when Chanyeol left. I just couldn’t. I always knew Chanyeol wasn’t really mine to keep, but you… if I lose you, I wouldn’t know what to do.”

For a moment, Junmyeon doesn’t know what to say. He truly doesn’t. Kyungsoo isn’t typically one for many words, especially when it comes to his feelings- and to have him confess something this monumental, it really throws him in for a loop.

An emotional loop, because it brings him to the verge of tears just thinking about the height of meaning in those words. He crosses the distance between them, and gets on the couch to cuddle up to Kyungsoo, who accepts him in his arms with a grunt and a huff, obviously affected as well.

Junmyeon burrows close, presses his face to the crook of Kyungsoo’s neck, even though he knows it must be icky for Kyungsoo to have him cuddling up so close with his teary eyes and stuffy nose. But he doesn’t care, not right now.

“I want to be yours to keep,” he whispers, struggling to keep his voice even and not give in to outright sobs. “I want to be here, by your side. I don’t ever wanna lose you.”
If he were younger, more naïve, then perhaps, he’d make a promise of forever. Maybe he’ll make one, if they ever get around to marrying each other. But like this, he doesn’t dare to.

Chanyeol made promises of forever, and even if those weren’t necessarily to be taken so seriously, it was still upsetting to have them broken. As if they meant nothing.
He wants his promises to mean something.

“You’re not gonna lose me. I love you.” Kyungsoo strokes his cheek, his hand a little clumsy from the alcohol, but still tender as he wipes away the moisture that made its way there. “I love you.”

“I love you too.”

That night, they end up falling asleep right there, on the couch, Junmyeon in Kyungsoo’s arms. And perhaps it’s the slight change in scenery that helps, for he manages to sleep with his legs stretched out, pressed neatly and tightly to Kyungsoo’s side.

Next time Junmyeon is heading out to walk the dogs over the weekend, Kyungsoo insists to join him. Usually he would never offer to do this- he’d rather stay behind to tidy up, or to get started on preparing dinner, or just watch sports animes. Yet this time, he’s adamant.

Junmyeon, of course, is happy to have him tag along, but he can’t stop prodding him for an answer as to why he’s so keen. Kyungsoo squirms even as they walk, refusing to make eye contact, but he finally confesses the truth.

“You and Baekhyun,” he says, glancing at Junmyeon sideways. “If he can tag along to our dates, then I should be able to tag along to your dates with him.”

That startles Junmyeon, mostly because of the word choice. “These are not dates,” he’s quick to deny, and it does sound a little defensive. “I mean, yeah, I do see him around, but like, we’re just walking our dogs in the park, and chatting. It’s not a date.”

Kyungsoo just shrugs at this, undisturbed. “As far as I’m concerned, they’re dates,” he repeats. “They probably are to him, anyways.”

“But he knows I’m dating you.” Junmyeon realizes how weak of a defense this is, given the prior state of their relationship. “I mean- yeah, he knows about Chanyeol as well, so like, I guess he knows I’m sort of available, but I don’t know how he feels about it. Like, if he’d be interested- he probably isn’t.”

The topic of boyfriends and dating hasn’t been brought up again, so Junmyeon doesn’t know how Baekhyun actually feels. He hasn’t at least disapproved enough to openly judge him or to avoid him, which is good, yet that’s not much to go off of.

His boyfriend still isn’t so convinced. “The dude likes you enough to go out of his way to buy tickets to an expensive pansori thing to come see you,” he reiterates his point from earlier. “If he’s the type of person to do that kind of thing for anyone then that’s on him, but otherwise, I don’t think he’d do that for just anyone. Or at least he shouldn’t. So, I don’t think he’s all of a sudden so completely put off by the knowledge that you used to be in a poly relationship, but aren’t right now, which technically means you have an open position for a new boyfriend.”

That’s really crudely said, but it’s true.

At least the dogs are overjoyed to have both of them there for their usual park shenanigans, running wildly around and barking up a storm, so much so that Junmyeon completely misses Baekhyun approaching them. But there’s no mistaking his larger-than-life voice, as he greets them.

“I was wondering if Junmyeon was keeping you locked up in a basement or something,” Baekhyun calls out as he jogs up to them, Mongryong pulling on his leash to get to the poodles faster. “That, or he was keeping me as a dirty little secret.”

“Junmyeon isn’t capable of keeping secrets,” Kyungsoo says in his dry tone of voice, although the corners of his mouth are twitching just slightly. “I just really don’t care for exercise, if I’m completely honest.”

Baekhyun and Junmyeon laugh, and Junmyeon is grateful for how all tension has dissipated, just like that. He didn’t know what to expect from this, but this is definitely all good in his book.

“Well, I’m excited to meet you again,” Baekhyun says, as he bends over to let Mongryong loose. “Especially after Junmyeon told me these are actually your dogs. It felt kind of odd to get to know your dogs but not really know you, if you get me?”

“I would have hoped Junmyeon could have told you more about me,” Kyungsoo replies with, and leans down to let Mongryong sniff the back of his hand before petting him while the poodles crowd around him jealously. “I guess he was trying to keep secrets, after all.”

Junmyeon bumps his hip against his, embarrassed. “I was not,” he huffs, and he knows he’s being petulant, but he’s being teased so it only makes sense. “I’ve talked about you lots. But it’s not gonna be the same as actually talking to you, is it?”

“Guess not.” Kyungsoo wraps his arm around his middle, squeezing his hip, as a form of consolation. He lets his hand drop down soon after. “So you actually go out jogging every single day? That’s impressive. Me and Junmyeon hyung, we’re both couch potatoes.”

“Speak for yourself. I come to the park with the dogs, at least, don’t I?” Junmyeon elbows him lightly, earning a pinch to his arm from Kyungsoo in retaliation. Baekhyun sees all this, and laughs out loud.

“I can’t decide if you’re like an old married couple, or like five-year-olds,” he says. “And I gotta admit, I didn’t used to do it every day- it was more of a rare thing, kind of ‘oops I had too much to eat yesterday so I have to run off all this guilt’, but, you know. I’ve recently gotten some new motivation to keep doing it more often. Namely this cute dude and his cute dogs. And maybe his cute boyfriend, too.”

Junmyeon blushes bright pink, with how bold Baekhyun is acting, and he can tell that Kyungsoo is feeling a little bashful as well. “Well, I mean, if we all really dislike the outdoors that much, maybe we should meet up somewhere else,” Junmyeon blurts out without thinking. Baekhyun’s flirtiness may be contagious. “I mean, the dogs need the exercise, but you know.”

Baekhyun’s smile is so breathtaking, as he directs it at him. “I would love that,” he agrees, and just like that, it’s been decided.

That night, as him and Kyungsoo are getting ready for bed, standing side by side at the sink and brushing their teeth, Junmyeon can’t help but bring it up again. It was such a lovely day; standing out in the sunshine, talking about this and that, watching the dogs play. Laughing until his stomach hurt, between Baekhyun’s quick humor and Kyungsoo’s dry quips. And they had exchanged phone numbers, as well- Baekhyun had made it seem so easy and effortless, too, just casually suggesting that they should and Kyungsoo and Junmyeon almost helpless agreeing.

He spits out the foam in his mouth and turns to look at Kyungsoo, who’s meticulously brushing his teeth, the buzzing of his electric toothbrush filling the bathroom. “Is it… okay with you, to keep hanging out with Baekhyun? The two of us. Even when it’s not at the park.”

It was so unexpected, and Junmyeon hadn’t prepared for it, had been blind sighted- just how he’s been with Baekhyun since the beginning.

Kyungsoo hums, and moves the toothbrush to one side to answer him. “Sure thing- he seems like a fun dude to be around. So why not?”

Junmyeon feels like he shouldn’t have to break this down to him, but either Kyungsoo is pretending to not understand his concern, or he’s forgotten his earlier warnings about Baekhyun’s potential feelings. “Yeah, he’s super fun and I really like spending time with him, but I mean… If he wants more than just friendship. Is that still okay? Is it alright to be friends with someone who… wants more?”

Kyungsoo makes eye contact with him through the mirror, as he thoughtfully keeps brushing his teeth, thinking it over. “The way I see it,” he says after a moment of silence, “is either his feelings go away, and turn into genuine friendship, or ours turn into something more. Only time is gonna tell, though, which way it’ll go.”

His philosophy makes sense, but Junmyeon is still doubtful of how well it’ll actually work. “It’s been such a short time since Chanyeol left, though,” he murmurs, watching Kyungsoo spit out the toothpaste. “I’m not sure if it’s fare to Baekhyun, or right for us to even entertain the idea yet.”

Kyungsoo rinses out his mouth, before he says anything. “Chanyeol left us months ago,” he says, gentle, as he wipes his mouth and then directs his gaze back at Junmyeon once more. “It’s alright for us to think about… moving on. Not necessarily adding another person into our relationship, but just… letting go. We’re not doing anything wrong by being open to the possibility of, well, Baekhyun.”

Junmyeon can’t help but slot himself against Kyungsoo’s body, wrapping his arms around his waist. Kyungsoo hit the nail on the head, once more. “A part of me doesn’t want to move on, because I don’t want to close off the possibility that he could come back, some day,” he whispers quietly. Kyungsoo’s hand strokes down his back, in between his shoulder blades. It feels good. “I’m scared that I’m moving on too quickly. That it’s… not right, somehow.”

“I know, babe,” Kyungsoo murmurs back, and Junmyeon can feel his heavy sigh. “I know. But he’s not coming back, and we both know this. And even if sometimes, we miss him, it’s alright to heal. To stop grieving. I mean, you’ve stopped curling up so tiny, in bed- sometimes I wake up at night, and we’re not attached at the hip, at all, and instead you’re sleeping soundly on your side like an arm’s length away from me. We’re healing, baby. We are.”

And oddly enough- it’s true.

In a sudden bout of renewed energy to transform their living space, Kyungsoo suggests they head to Ikea again, this time with Baekhyun as well. “If he can recommend such great rugs, I’m sure he can help us figure out the rest of the interior décor, here,” he reasons with a slight grin. “I really want more plants in here, for one. Plants are super great. Did you know they purify the air in the apartment? They are not only healing to look at, but they’re also actually healing us.”

“Sounds great,” Junmyeon sleepily mumbles, head pillowed on Kyungsoo’s thigh where he’s watching the Saturday cartoons with him, still groggy. Kyungsoo made coffee and toast, but Junmyeon found it more important to burrow closer to his boyfriend and rest there, than to try and have breakfast. Kyungsoo is idly stroking his hair, which Junmyeon appreciates greatly, for he knows full well how greasy it is right now. “I didn’t know Ikea sells plants.”

“They do,” Kyungsoo hums, taking a measured sip from his coffee. “And they’re cheap. That’s all I care about.”

Junmyeon chortles, and presses a kiss on Kyungsoo’s bare skin, breathing in the scent of his bodywash and his natural smell. “We can go,” he promises, and lets his eyes close. He’ll just nap for a moment, like this. “Let’s call Baekhyun. See if he’s free.”

Baekhyun is free, and so they set an Ikea date later that day.

“This is a date, isn’t it,” Junmyeon realizes with great horror, as he’s trying to get dressed for the occasion. “A serious date. At Ikea. Kyungsoo, we’ve made a mistake.”

“The only mistake here is if you try to wear that bucket hat anywhere public when I’m present,” Kyungsoo replies with from the bed, where he’s scrolling through his phone, browsing through Pinterest to find inspiration for their living room set up. “So put it back, and no harm will come to you.”

“Kyungsoo-yah,” Junmyeon whines, even as he dutifully puts the hat back. “I’m serious. We’re going on a date with the guy that likes me- likes us both, now. How’s this not a mistake? I thought we were like, just opening up to the idea. Not committing ourselves to it, or anything.”

Kyungsoo has the audacity to just shrug at this. “I’m sure Baekhyun isn’t getting his hopes up, or anything,” he insists. “Like, we’ve kept it pretty chill. This isn’t romantic or anything, so why would he assume that this is anything more than just us wanting to hang out with him?”

“But hang out with him as bros, or hang out with him as love interests? Those are two vastly different things.” Somehow it confuses Junmyeon to see Kyungsoo taking this in a stride like this. He had never considered Kyungsoo so laid back- it had always been Chanyeol, always, forever the one to keep their spirits up, to lighten the mood, to remind them to stop stressing. It’s… strange, to see Kyungsoo assuming that role, even if to a lesser extent.

“I guess how we interact on this date is what decides which one it is.” Kyungsoo puts his phone down, and gives him a fond look. “You shouldn’t worry so much about his feelings. I think he’s managing them just fine, if I’m being honest. He’s flirty but not clingy or desperate. He shows interest in us but doesn’t push it too much. So don’t fret. He’s doing okay. It’s alright to just spend time with him.”

Junmyeon nods, even as he walks over to join Kyungsoo on the bed, lying down half way on top of him. He really should be getting ready, but this seems more important. “I do really like his company,” he confesses, quiet, toying with the button of Kyungsoo’s shirt. “I really like spending time with him… And you feel the same way, don’t you?”

He’s seen how Kyungsoo laughs at Baekhyun, with Baekhyun. He’s seen how easily he jokes back and forth with him. He’s seen how Baekhyun has already gotten him to open up, reserved and timid as he can be, sometimes.

Kyungsoo sighs, then nods. “I do, that son of a bitch,” he says, but there’s no heat to it. “He’s so obnoxious sometimes- when he talks, I’m sure that about half the park can hear him. And I don’t know if I’m ever gonna get over how he just casually strolled in to that pansori performance, just to impress you and shit. That’s just nuts.”

They both share a laugh, then quiet down again. Kyungsoo presses a kiss into his hairline. “I just hope he likes being with me,” he says, and even though he’s keeping his voice down, Junmyeon can still hear the underlying vulnerability there. “He met you first, he befriended you first, tried to make moves on you… Sure, he flirts with me and stuff when I’m there, but I just sometimes wonder… Maybe he’s just doing it to be polite, you know.”

It would be almost easy to claim that such thoughts are mere nonsense, that he shouldn’t even entertain such ideas. Instead, Junmyeon takes his hand, slots their fingers together, tilts his head up to kiss his jawline. “I don’t think he’s faking it,” he murmurs. “I really don’t. He loves making you laugh… He flirts with you just how he flirts with me. If it’s a lie, he’s too good at it. I can’t trust him, if he’s just doing this for a show.”

Kyungsoo chuckles, but it’s just to acknowledge Junmyeon’s words. “I don’t know,” he sighs, rubbing along Junmyeon’s shoulder. “It’s just… When Chanyeol and I found you, I was so insecure because I thought that you would become the reason I lose him. That agreeing to date you would be the reason why he’d leave me, and I’d be left alone. There’s something so similar to this, again, but this time, I can’t risk losing you. I can’t even think about it.”

“You’re not going to lose me.” He’s quick to say this. “And if you don’t want to do this, if you don’t want to even leave that door open, then we don’t have to. We can close it now, and never look back. I promise.”

“But what if I lose you by being too selfish?” Kyungsoo strokes his hair back, and presses more kisses on his forehead. His cheeks feel wet. “What if… by not allowing you to date another person… I’m going to ruin our relationship?”

“You won’t.” Junmyeon slips his hand underneath Kyungsoo’s shirt, to rub his bare skin as calmingly as he can. “That is not me. I could be with just you, and be perfectly happy. We don’t have to find another person. We really don’t. Baekhyun just showed up at the right time, but we can remain just friends. I promise you this.”

He didn’t realize before how torn Kyungsoo must have felt. How stressful this must have been. He feels so incredibly sorry, for not having taken that into consideration before.
Kyungsoo nods, and sighs. “I don’t know what I want,” he murmurs. “Not yet, anyway. Please be patient… I’ll figure it out. And until then… I want to have this door open. For us both.”

They make it to Ikea just in time, and Baekhyun is already waiting for them at the entrance. “There you are,” he chirps when he spots them walking towards him. “I’m starving, can we please start by getting hotdogs or something?”

“Yes, please,” Junmyeon replies instantly. “And meatballs! They’re the best.”

“I sometimes take Junmyeon out here for a date, just so he can have his Swedish meatballs,” Kyungsoo says, dead serious, but Baekhyun understands for what it is and laughs out loud, squeezing Kyungsoo’s shoulder.

“Well, I’ve always liked cheap dates, because I don’t make a lot of money,” he says, reaching over to link arms with Junmyeon, easily doing the same with Kyungsoo on his other side. There’s no question about what kind of tone he wants to set for this outing, and Junmyeon doesn’t mind it, but he keeps an eye on how Kyungsoo responds to it. So far, at least, he’s smiling brilliantly.

“You’re gonna make it big one day,” Junmyeon comforts him, squeezing his arm against his side. “Fashion is where the big money’s at, isn’t it? Eventually, your brand is going to take off, and you’ll be filthy rich.”

When they had asked Baekhyun about what he does for a living, it had been a surprise to hear that he designs and sells his own clothes; it’s such a unique thing. But it suits the free-spirited man quite well, and he had showed pictures of his creations to them as well. They were all casual street style, very trendy pieces like oversized t-shirts and hoodies, but they all seemed very cool and the way Baekhyun spoke about it made it very obvious how much he cares about his brand.

It’s clearly his deepest passion, and Junmyeon feels that he has obvious potential to really succeed one day.

Baekhyun laughs again, and shakes his head at this. “Even when I’m filthy rich, I’ll still like Ikea hotdogs,” he assures them. “But no doubt I’ll be able to spoil my dates with much nicer things, otherwise. So for now, please excuse the lack of expensive courting gifts.”

“It’s fine,” Kyungsoo replies with, easy, simple. “Between Junmyeon’s job at the kindergarten and mine teaching kids to act and dance, we’re not made of money, either. We will accept the Ikea hotdogs gladly.”

Junmyeon is so happy to hear Kyungsoo at least playing along- but he knows Kyungsoo wouldn’t encourage Baekhyun, if his heart wasn’t in it. So it seems like they might be walking through that door, after all, or perhaps Kyungsoo is at least making small progress towards it.

“I said I wanted meatballs,” he whines. He thoroughly enjoys the look of fond annoyance on their faces- or fond amusement, in Baekhyun’s case. Kyungsoo just has been subjected to his antics for too long.

“You can have them, I promise,” Baekhyun coos back at him. “I swear. And then, we’re going to shop for cute stuff for your guys’ apartment!”

The Ikea date opens up a world of new possibilities. For one, Baekhyun invites them to his store in Hongdae to celebrate the launch of his new collection of clothes for the upcoming season. This makes both Kyungsoo and Junmyeon extremely nervous, sorting through their closets trying to find something suitable to wear to the event.

“Where’s Chanyeol when you need him,” Junmyeon whines as he goes through his shirts for the fourth time. “He knew how to dress trendier than us.”

“Are you kidding me,” Kyungsoo deadpans, and throws a sock at his head. “He lived in his oversized hoodies and jeans because they were comfy, not because he was trying to be on trend. He couldn’t have helped up dress any better than this.”

“At least he doesn’t dress like a grandpa,” Junmyeon huffs, leaning down to pick up the sock and toss it right back at his boyfriend. “Unlike the two of us. I just hope Baekhyun is ready to be embarrassed by us.”

It’s quite odd, he realizes- that it doesn’t hurt, to bring up Chanyeol. That they can laugh, and remember their ex, but it doesn’t have to cause pain.

The fact that Chanyeol is slowly moving to that faceless crowd of past partners, to be only called ‘ex’ and to be mentioned in passing with no real emotion, it’s sad. But Junmyeon doesn’t want to hold onto the past, not when it’s becoming clear that there are exciting things waiting for him in the future.

They make it to the store barely in time. There’s already a crowd of people- they all seem to know Baekhyun quite well, as they’re mingling with him in the small shop and on the street in front of it. True to Junmyeon’s concerns, they’re all dressed according to the latest trends; Baekhyun doesn’t usually go all out, at least not for the park or Ikea, but now he’s also dressed impeccably. Junmyeon huddles closer to Kyungsoo for emotional support; if this was any other place, any other time, he would ask him to turn around and go home with him.

But then, Baekhyun spots them, and abandons the conversation he was having to come and greet them very enthusiastically. He passes out hugs and kisses on the cheek like candy, all with an air of genuine affection. In his breath, Junmyeon can smell both mint and alcohol, a dizzying mix, but he’s already gone before he can think of having a taste of that for himself.

The thought catches him off guard, but things are moving too fast for him to do anything about it.

“You came!” Baekhyun is so excited, clutching onto their hands. Some people are looking on with evident curiosity, but Junmyeon is doing his best to ignore it. “I missed you guys already. Come, let me show you everything, I want you to see it all. Shit, I really should have given you pieces to wear in advance, that would have been so cool, seeing you guys here in clothes I designed. Too bad I didn’t think of that.”

“We would have looked just completely silly,” Kyungsoo retorts, as Baekhyun pulls them inside the store and they can finally fully see the racks of t-shirts, hoodies, leather bags, silky button ups. “We’re like office workers in the middle of a nightclub in Gangnam, or something. Trying so hard to fit in would only make it more awkward. We don’t have the confidence to wear this kind of stuff.”

“Oh, shush,” Baekhyun is quick to say with a shake of his head. “I know who you guys are- and that’s who I invited to this party, as well. You, both of you, as I know and adore you. And you look so nice, both of you. You don’t give yourselves enough credit.”

The word ‘adore’ keeps repeating on loop in Junmyeon’s head, and he can’t even come up with anything to say to such an earnest compliment. “You flatter us,” Kyungsoo murmurs, looking away almost shyly, a rare sight indeed. “But really, congratulations on your new collection. You must have worked really hard for this.”

“Congratulations,” Junmyeon repeats after him, and finally hands over the flowers they brought for Baekhyun. He’s been holding onto them this entire time, but with Baekhyun’s enthusiasm, there wasn’t yet a moment to give them to him. Baekhyun appears completely delighted, even if he must have guessed the flowers were for him, and he isn’t at all shy to kiss them on the cheeks once more.

And it’s an enjoyable night, even if very unusual for both Junmyeon and Kyungsoo. There’s not much alcohol going around, surprisingly; everyone is just comfortably tipsy, it appears, which well suits them as well. Baekhyun can’t give them his undivided attention, as he needs to say hi to his other friends and greet customers who are also dropping by for the celebration of the new launch. Junmyeon and Kyungsoo pick a spot where they feel comfortable, far enough from the speakers blaring music, out of the way of people trying to look at the clothes. People are certainly giving them curious looks, assessing them and their reason for being here besides looking like Baekhyun’s uncles, but no one bothers them. It’s for the best, for Junmyeon has no idea how they would explain their reason for being here.

Baekhyun drops by to chat every now and then. “I’m kicking everyone out soon,” he promises them an hour before midnight, eyes full of hope as he looks at them. “It’s Friday night, they have better stuff to do than hang out here anyways. But I would love to take you guys out for a late dinner. Just the three of us.”

Junmyeon exchanges a look with Kyungsoo. They hadn’t been expecting such an offer; they were already sort of ready to leave, growing weary of the party where they really were enjoying themselves. Perhaps if they knew someone else here besides Baekhyun, it would be more fun, but as is, they’re both getting a little tired. Now, though, with Baekhyun’s suggestion, they don’t want to turn him down.

Kyungsoo’s arm wraps around Junmyeon’s lower back, a steadying weight as he makes the call for both of them. “We’d love that,” he assures Baekhyun, easy. “We should get lamb skewers and beers. I know a place, I don’t think it’s too far from here.”

“Sounds awesome.” Baekhyun looks so genuinely happy. “I’m gonna chase everyone out now, so we can go in just a bit. I’m sorry you guys have had to just stand here and watch me chat with other people. I wasn’t counting on as many people coming, I thought I’d have more time with you guys.”

“It’s alright, don’t worry about it,” Junmyeon assures him, and touches his hand briefly. “We were so excited you invited us. It’s been different, but it’s been fun, and we know you can’t just overlook your other guests.”

Baekhyun’s eyes soften, and he reaches for Junmyeon’s hand to squeeze it in his, then doing the same for Kyungsoo. “But you’re my VIPs,” he says, and can’t help but smile a little at the corniness of it. “No, seriously. I’ll be with you in just a bit.”

Dispersing the crowd isn’t of course so easy, when everyone wants to say their lengthy goodbyes to Baekhyun, but half an hour later, the store is finally empty. “One last thing,” Baekhyun retorts, and turns around to grab some hoodies and t-shirts off the racks, quickly checking the tags before folding them over his arm and expertly placing them into a big bag that he promptly hands over to them. “I really can’t believe that I didn’t think to give you guys anything before the launch, so, here. If it’s too embarrassing for you guys to wear it out and about, please don’t tell me. My feelings are very sensitive like that.”

“You really shouldn’t, this is so much-” Kyungsoo begins, but Junmyeon will have none of it, quickly hushing him before he says anything more. “Thank you so much,” he says, gentle, “why would we ever be embarrassed to wear your clothes out in public? If anything, it should be your clothes that would be embarrassed by us.” He squeezes Kyungsoo’s bicep. “I think you chose them well for us. Muted colors, stuff even grandpas like us can wear.”

But Kyungsoo won’t be so easily put off. “These are so expensive,” he insists, exasperated. “How can you give us this much, that was like five hoodies at least, your business is basically losing money because of us. It’s too much.”

“You’re so practical, Kyungsoo,” Baekhyun says with a broad smile. “You’re both trying so earnestly to protect me; Junmyeon my feelings, and Kyungsoo my financial wellbeing. You guys are just the best, so good. But please, consider my feelings more than my money. I don’t care about money.” He pauses, before he says the next thing. “I care about you guys.”

And how could they argue with any of that?

“Lamb skewers, let’s go,” Junmyeon clears his throat, desperately trying to hide how moved he actually is. “And next time we hang out at the park, I promise we will be wearing your hoodies.”

“You best keep that promise,” Baekhyun chuckles, as he turns off the lights and herds them through the door before locking up. “And yes to food. If it makes you feel any better, Kyungsoo, then you can pay. I promise I’ll eat so much that it’ll set us even.”

That finally seems to set Kyungsoo at ease, as he reaches over to pull Baekhyun to his side by the shoulder, holding him there even as they walk. “I would like to see anyone eat enough food to be worth 500,000 won,” he muses. “If you succeed in that, I’ll gladly pay for it, just for the experience of watching it happen itself.”

And the smile on Baekhyun’s face when he sees them wearing his clothes makes it well worth the slightly guilty conscience Kyungsoo suffered.

Kyungsoo harasses Junmyeon into a cleaning spree. “We haven’t deep cleaned the bathroom in weeks, and the kitchen is so dirty I can barely stand cooking in it,” he moans, kicking Junmyeon out of bed where he’d been lounging with a book. “So get up, and get your ass moving. I can’t look at this pigsty for any longer.”

“But it’s the weekend,” Junmyeon whines right back at him. “I don’t want to do work when it’s my day off.”

“And during the week, you tell me you’re too exhausted after work to do any chores.” Kyungsoo is not to be swayed by anything, and Junmyeon knows that he’s right. There’s never a time in which he’d like to do housework. “Get up, now. Let’s get this place sparkling clean. I can’t invite Baekhyun in here unless it’s looking nice and tidy.”

That perks up Junmyeon immediately. “You’re thinking about inviting him here?” It’s a big step. Despite their agreement to keep the doors open but not commit to anything just yet- it’s been more and more obvious that they’ve already chosen a path which they’re going to go down. And showing Baekhyun their home, the most intimate and the most sacred, it means something. It means everything.

Kyungsoo won’t look at him, as he begins to pick up dirty clothes from the bedroom floor. “Well. I figured, since the weather has been so bad lately that hanging out at the park is not very fun, we should find… other things to do. He could bring Mongryong here, to play with the poodles. They’d love that.”

It’s a flimsy excuse, and Junmyeon is ready to call out his bluff. “You wanna wine and dine him or something?” He follows in Kyungsoo’s steps, lazily picking up stuff from the floor, although his heart definitely isn’t in it. “Something more… personal than standing around in a dog park?”

Kyungsoo shrugs his narrow shoulders. “I guess,” he mutters. His nonchalant act isn’t fooling anybody. “I mean, unless you think it’s too weird… This is the place where we lived with Chanyeol, after all.”

Junmyeon shakes his head at that. “No, I don’t think it’s weird.” He grabs Kyungsoo by the arm, gently, and pulls him into the living room to point at the new décor. They’ve really changed how the entire place looks; new plants, new rug, new pillows on the couch, new stuff on the walls. Gone are the musical instruments and the cd collection Chanyeol had, but also gone is the empty space those left behind when he moved out.

“This is our place, now. Not just a place where someone else used to live with us.” He wraps his arms around Kyungsoo from behind, and hooks his chin over his shoulder. “Chanyeol wouldn’t even recognize this now. This is our home, and we can invite anyone we want here. Including someone we might wanna date, once we’re brave enough to ask him.”

He can feel Kyungsoo’s hum in response. “You’re right,” he says quietly, placing his hand over Junmyeon’s. “You’re… absolutely right. But you know what?”

“What?” Junmyeon presses a light kiss on Kyungsoo’s neck, and trails his mouth lower. Like this, he’s getting ideas.

“We still need to clean this up. This place is fucking disgusting.”

Junmyeon groans.

Baekhyun seems well pleased when he sees the living room. “The rug looks fucking amazing,” he says, and he sounds so proud of himself too. “And everything else I helped you guys pick. Wow, I really do have an eye for this shit. Maybe I should go into interior design, next.”

Kyungsoo swats at him, even as he takes his coat to hang it up. Junmyeon is just nervously fluttering nearby, unsure of what to do. Baekhyun did bring Mongryong, the dogs all overjoyed to play, running across the floor and wrestling happily already. The table is set and the food is ready, just waiting for them all to sit down to eat.

“Can I make you a drink?” Junmyeon offers, as Baekhyun keeps looking at the living room appreciatively. Suddenly it feels like he ought to make a good impression. “I can’t make anything fancy, but like, gin and tonic?”

“So impressive,” Baekhyun laughs, and wraps his arm around his middle, pulling him close. His lips come awfully close to touching his cheek, the corner of his mouth, and Junmyeon’s heart nearly stops completely. “I’m a simple guy, though. Can you get me a beer, sweetie?”

“Of course,” Junmyeon stutters, and scampers to retrieve one from the fridge for him.

Kyungsoo ushers them to the table, insisting that the food shouldn’t be kept waiting, and Baekhyun so naturally helps with serving it, passing around dishes, scooping food on the plates, making running commentary on how delicious it all looks and smells, I’m so hungry, did you really make this all by yourself? Junmyeon feels almost helpless, just watching him, enchanted by him- it feels surreal that he’s here, in their home. Baekhyun. In their kitchen, having dinner with them.

Afterwards, he can’t even remember what they talked about.

Junmyeon tries to help with putting everything away, once they’ve eaten, but Kyungsoo just gives him a pointed look. “Why don’t you guys pick a movie for us to watch, and I’ll wrap things up,” he says, so casual, easy, and Baekhyun agrees, somehow, despite being such a gentleman, tugging Junmyeon to the living room by the wrist.

Baekhyun only lets him grab the remote, before pulling him to the couch with him- but to his horror and surprise, he pulls Junmyeon down to his lap, strong hands guiding him right where he wants him, perched on his thighs, just like that. Junmyeon can barely move, can barely think, brain suddenly clogged up with inappropriate thoughts, desires, needs, and Baekhyun laughs, leans in to press a fleeting kiss on his cheek, which makes Junmyeon finally completely short circuit.

“You’re so sweet,” Baekhyun croons, plucking the remote from him to start scrolling through the Netflix selection. “Such an adorable little thing.”

Junmyeon doesn’t know what to say, can’t say a thing, and Kyungsoo seems only slightly taken back to walk in on them like this. He recovers quickly, however, walking over and sitting down right beside Baekhyun, pressing up against his side as if he’s done it a million times already. If it weren’t for the veil of pink across his cheeks, Junmyeon might think that he’s completely unaffected.

“You stay there,” Kyungsoo says, patting Junmyeon’s thigh before his hand settles over the upper part of it, holding onto it steadily. A grounding touch, a reminder. “You look pretty like that.”

“I do not,” Junmyeon finally finds his tongue, and both Baekhyun and Kyungsoo have the audacity to grin at him.

“You do,” they say at the same time, and they all laugh, even alerting the dogs with how loud they’re being, and somehow, this feels almost as though it was meant to be. The three of them, their dogs, like this, right here.