Work Text:
~
If the whole world was watching I'd still dance with you
Drive highways and byways to be there with you
Over and over the only truth
Everything comes back to you
You still make me nervous when you walk in the room
Them butterflies they come alive when I'm next to you
Over and over the only truth
Everything comes back to you
~
Stephen walks into the posh lobby leading into the main hall and already wants to whip out his sling ring and portal away.
This is exactly the kind of event he would have loved to be part of few years ago – before the accident. He reveled in the crowds, the overpriced drinks, the gossip flying all over the place…the women and men flying all over him. His former self would now be at an all time high, brimming with excitement.
Instead, he spots the overcrowded hall and wants to disappear. Easily said – and easily done now that he’s a sorcerer.
What first started as a small party idea for Avengers and co. quickly spiraled out of control once Rhodey and Wilson put themselves in charge of entertainment, Deadpool accidentally tweeted three hundred free tickets – and then Thor invited the entirety of New Asgard…as his plus one.
So Tony had to swoop in and rent the biggest party place available in New York which still seems to be bursting at the seams with all the people here, majority of which Stephen doesn’t know – and doesn’t care to get to know.
He doesn’t do well in crowds anymore. Tony doesn’t do well in crowds either – if Peter wasn’t so excited about coming here and spending the night with the ‘Titan crew’ as he calls them, Tony would have stayed home. And Stephen would be right there with him.
That’s new.
Tony and Stephen. Stephen and Tony. They’re new. And ditching his boyfriend of barely two weeks at an event that is bound to test every PTSD trigger he’s got – and by doing so also ditching his all but adopted teen spider son in a room full of strangers and booze – would definitely not bode well for this new thing they’ve got going.
So he swallows down his fear and mingles into the crowd, the Cloak tightly wound around his shoulders, offering a quiet comfort as he carefully makes his way through the hall, looking for some familiar faces.
Peter’s spidey senses beat him to it though.
“Doctor Wizard!” he emerges out of nowhere and all but squishes Stephen into a hug.
It’s something he quickly got used to after Titan. After Thanos. Hugs on sight from Peter, subtle comforting touches from Tony…the ordeal changed them. It changed everyone. Some for the better, some for the worse.
Their tiny but ever growing circle of…family and friends would definitely be the better change. There was something unspoken between them from that moment on; a tie that binds, a longing for closeness and comfort.
And Stephen revels in that these days.
“By the Vishanti…what is May feeding you? You’re getting stronger by the day!”
“Oh you know, spinach. And some steroids mixed in the shakes,” he pulls away, grinning up at him.
“He’s kidding.”
“MJ,” he greets the young woman with a nod. “Of course he is.”
“Or maybe I’m kidding. What if he is mixing steroids into the milkshakes?” she asks in complete seriousness.
“Then he knows what he’s going to be doing every weekend for the rest of his life,” he shoots back, narrowing his eyes at the awkward spider.
MJ is a force to be reckoned with – but after few days spent with one Harley Keener, Stephen got used to fiercely dangerous teen energy. It’s when they are all together that is usually the problem.
“Sorting all the books in the Sanctum alphabetically by name and then by author and then by length,” Peter recites the ultimate punishment and shudders. “I swear there’s nothing in the shakes.”
“But there could be,” MJ pushes on. “Sorting books…how is that a punishment anyway?”
“When you see the library, you’ll understand,” Peter gulps.
“There’s a lot of books, huh? Hm…would be a shame if something…unexpected…were to happen to them,” she deadpans.
Stephen sighs, placing a hand on Peter’s shoulder. “See, this is exactly why I’m not letting you into the Sanctum.”
She shrugs. “But you will.”
“Okaaaay, I think that’s enough power play for tonight. Go back to celebrating, you two.”
“If by celebrating you mean making out behind that bar over there then yes, we are getting back to that,” she nods and turns to leave, followed by the now bright red and stuttering Peter.
Oh, the young love…he can sympathize. Maybe not with the young part anymore but love…definitely.
Funny how with age everything gets so unnecessarily complicated. At Peter’s age he would have waltzed up to his crush and proclaim his everlasting love in oh so many embarrassing sentences and…making outs. Now his old ass brain is a paranoid heap of insecurities and fears…and the three damn words he didn’t use to have a problem putting on repeat suddenly get stuck in his throat.
Because what if?
What if it’s too soon to say them. What if Tony doesn’t feel the same. What if love isn’t what he’s after. What if Stephen is not someone he would even consider actually falling in love with.
Paranoid. Heap. Of Insecurities. And fears.
They have a thing – they’ve been having some…thing since the day after the unsnapping and yet it almost took them a year to establish this thing, to do something about this thing to…to stop being afraid the thing might not be a thing or that the thing might ultimately break the thing.
Great. Now his brain has tangled up on itself. Just perfect.
He just can’t help it. He can’t stop thinking about it since their first date and first kiss and…all kinds of firsts. It’s everything he longed for and everything he kept wistfully hoping for and now that it’s a reality he’s busy wallowing in…he’s not even sure what this is.
What he does know is that Tony Stark is a man that walks into a room and all but stops his heart. Every. Time. He’s a man that deserves everything good in this world, all the love and all the praise, all of it.
He’s a man that deserves so much more than a fragile, broken wizard doctor that can only add onto the pile of issues he already has to deal with.
He deserves better than this. He can have better than this.
And who in their right mind would choose Stephen when they can have anyone else, anyone.
They are together…but are they really? Stephen isn’t someone Tony will openly call his…his anything. They didn’t even make plans to come to this event together…because Tony was busy organizing and setting everything up in here the whole day anyway – his wistful brain provides.
Their thing might work as their little secret but in public he’ll be just Doctor Strange, the funky totally not boyfriend wizard and Tony will be…Tony.
Stephen fell in love with him one probable future outcome of the upcoming conflict at a time. Even back then he knew he was doomed to never be able to act on those feelings. Now that he can, it’s even worse.
“Stephen?”
He looks up from the ground, hoping none of the dread and devastation shows in his eyes when they land on Tony’s worried face. “Hey,” he breathes out, Tony’s presence alone stilling both his heart and his racing thoughts.
“Why hello there, Doctor,” Tony’s frown eases into a tiny smile that will be the death of Stephen one of these days. That and the ethereal vision that he is, standing there all casual while looking like a god that just descended to Earth.
“Can you not do your Kenobi impressions, please?”
“That’s my Ewan McGregor impression – and you totally dig Ewan McGregor.”
“Ah, yes. I should probably go find him instead then.”
It’s all fun and banter…and Tony rolls his eyes and smiles wider still...while Stephen’s smile falters by an unnoticeable fraction with every second.
“Don’t you dare. I’ve just escaped the Guardians…Rocket started a drinking competition over there that I really don’t need to be a part of…and now I’m thinking I should start enjoying this God-awful party I helped organize.”
“Enjoy…how does one go about that, I wonder?”
“SHIELDBROTHERS!”
“Definitely not like this,” Tony mutters, scooting over to Stephen as Thor approaches them with a beaming smile and a gigantic triple-pint of beer.
“This celebration is like nothing I’ve ever seen beyond the realms of Asgard!” he leans in toward them, even swaying a bit on his feet.
“Thor’s been celebrating since lunch,” Tony whispers to him, trying to hide his amusement. “I’m glad you like the party. I think you will like it even more when you learn about the big beer challenge of 2019 the rabbit is organizing over there,” he points at one of the bars to the side.
Thor’s eyes widen as much as his grin and he nods. “Say no more, Man of Iron. I shall rise to this challenge!” he declares and sets off to join the Guardians, stopping by Stephen and patting him on the shoulder with a…weird look…and walking away.
“Remind me to stay away from the beer.”
“You don’t drink beer,” Tony reminds him instead.
“Remind me anyway. Obviously nobody bothered to label the Asgardian ‘send you to the ER in one sip’ booze.”
“Good point. Now, as I was saying, it’s t - ”
“Tones! Look at that! Look!” Rhodey barges through the surrounding crowd, dragging Bucky Barnes along with him.
Tony takes a calming breath and turns to his best friend. “Platypus. What did you do n…ohhhhkay.”
“Let me guess. They’ve been celebrating since lunch as well,” Stephen raises an eyebrow at Barnes’s metal hand, littered with…cute Disney stickers.
“I lost a bet,” Barnes shrugs, ending the sentence with a hiccup.
“He did. Look,” Rhodes keeps grinning like mad, pointing at the sticker hand.
“Yeah…we really should have labeled the booze,” Tony scratches his neck, watching the pair of James’s with a blank stare. “Welp, you guys go show it to Natasha, she’ll love it.”
“Ohhhhh, let’s go!” Rhodey agrees and prompts the former assassin to follow him…but not before giving Stephen his very own version of the weird look.
“Not bad,” Barnes adds, looking him over and letting himself be pushed in Natasha’s general direction – at the impromptu Russian style bar.
Stephen frowns but decides to ignore…whatever that was. “You do realize Natasha will probably three-sixty them into the bar stools.”
“That’s exactly why I sent them there. Anyway,” Tony smiles at him, sneaking his hands into Stephen’s.
The move startles him enough to jerk away a little, looking around with wide eyes.
“Mr. Stark!”
Oblivious to Stephen’s freak-out episode, Tony just groans, leaning in to thud his head against Stephen’s chest once. “Yeeeeesss Peeeteer?” he drawls out, turning around but keeping one hand intertwined with Stephen’s, which makes Stephen stare down at it in complete speechlessness.
“Nothing…just stopping by to say hi.”
“We’ve been here together the whole day, Peter. We saw each other not even thirty minutes ago.”
“I know,” he shrugs, smiling innocently. “Anyway, me and MJ are gonna go grab some fondue so…you guys continue,” he smirks at Stephen.
“Thank you, yes. We w…wait what? You and MJ are gonna go do what?!”
MJ comes up behind Peter, watching Tony and Stephen with a knowing smirk of her own. “There’s a chocolate and cheese fountain in the lounge. You know, cheese, marshmallows…fondue. All that.”
Tony rapidly nods, running a hand over his eyes. “Right…fondue. Of course. Have fun.”
“Oh we will,” MJ holds Tony’s unwavering stare.
“Uhmmmm…why do I always feel like you guys are talking about something completely different than what you’re actually saying?!” Peter flails, pouting at them.
MJ exchanges one last daring look with Tony and turns to Peter with a chuckle. “No idea what you’re talking about, dude. Have fun,” she throws back at them and disappears back into the crowd with Peter, who keeps sending them a squinty look.
Tony shakes his head, laughing to himself and it brings Stephen out of his stupor…for a little bit. “Something wrong?” Tony notices anyway, inspecting his frozen expression.
“I…I mean…you…”
“Hey! You guys wanna - ”
“Not now, Clint!” Tony rolls his eyes, outstretching his free arm in Clint’s direction to stop his approach.
“Uhhh…I just…”
“Bye, Clint!” Tony chimes, not even sparing the archer a look, just waving him away.
Too busy cataloguing every micro expression on Stephen’s face.
“Teenagers,” Clint mutters and backs away.
“Stephen?” Tony tilts his head, waiting.
Before he can say something potentially stupid…and revealing…the music starts playing and to the mad applause and cheering of the party-goers the dance floor below officially opens for business with the waltz-like tune.
“Oh, finally!” someone proclaims behind Stephen and a giddy group of ladies line up next to them.
There it goes.
“Would you dance with us, Mr. Stark?” the cherry-blonde asks with genuine smile and a flare of nervousness.
Tony does have that effect on people….Stephen can totally relate to that.
“Ladies!” Tony switches into his press-worthy grin in a nanosecond and turns to the lady group.
Somehow Stephen manages to keep still even if he knows what’s coming. He’ll have plenty of time to flee later…or join that drinking game with the Guardians.
“I’m afraid the first dance of the night will belong to the lovely Doctor here,” he beams at Stephen, wrapping both his hands around the one he’s still holding on to and takes a step closer to melt into his side. “…and the second…and the third…and that will probably be it, I’m not a dancing kinda man. But!” he nods behind the slightly startled ladies. “You see that guy over there? That’s Peter Quill and he’s an absolute dancing God. Seriously. They call him the Starlord, that’s how famous he is all around the galaxy…mostly for his dancing skills. Now, go be good to him, he’s been through a lot and a dance will definitely cheer him up.”
The ladies give Quill a little once over and nod, sending the two of them cheery smiles and heading off to ask the Starlord for a Star-dance.
“Nice,” Stephen blurts out, watching Quill take all four of them to the dance floor…where he immediately starts showing his moves. He’s not really dancing with them and it’s definitely not waltz but the ladies look happy and Quill is positively the star of the floor now. “You didn’t have to do that,” he adds in a whisper.
“Hm?” Tony’s cheerful face looks up and melts away the instant. “What do you mean?”
“It’s fine. You could have danced with them.”
“Why would I d - ”
“Mr. Stark? Would you - ”
“Sorry, I’m in the middle of interrogating my boyfriend,” he turns to the next brave woman approaching them and sounds friendly enough, but keeps his forced smile pinned on Stephen.
She makes a double take, purses her lips and waltzes away, quietly giggling.
“Now…I’ve been trying to - ”
“Tony?”
“Oh for fuck’s sake – what?!” Tony whirls around, his fury meeting the stone cold calmness of Nebula.
“Don’t worry, I don’t want to dance with you or your boyfriend.”
“I would definitely think not,” Vision remarks, floating in the air behind her, watching Stephen with a piercing stare.
“WELL THANK FUCK FOR THAT! All I’ve been trying to do the past twenty minutes was woo you into having a celebratory drink with me, make out in the hallway like the teenagers we are, catch the first slow dance of the night and then get the hell out of here and…celebrate some more…with like…fondue…if you know what I mean…,” he rambles, squinting at Stephen. “So please, for the love I bear for this man, please! Tell me what you need so I can proceed with this carefully devised plan!” he turns to Nebula.
“I just thought you should know your spider offspring slipped and fell into the chocolate fountain…and by doing so started a cheese-chocolate free-for-all battle in the lounge.”
“Oh, GREAT!” Tony flails, slapping his hands onto his face.
“Rest assured, we will carefully monitor the situation and make sure to reward whoever wins. Don’t let us disturb you and Doctor Strange any further,” Vision smiles at them and floats away with Nebula hot on his heels.
“Fucking finally!” Tony groans into his hands and looks back at Stephen, who’s still in the middle of processing what Tony just said. “Can we maybe get out of here first because I swear if someone else turns up to disturb us I will turn into the Hulk! Stephen…? Love?” he steps closer, locking eyes with him.
Stephen sputters, shaking his head. “Wh…wha…t did you just call me?”
“Lo…oh,” he blinks and slowly raises his eyebrows. “Too…much too soon?” he bites his lip.
He sputters again because who needs brain functions or talking functions when Tony Stark just said the thing, he said the…to him… and he…!
Stephen reboots and portals them on the roof of the building in seconds to get away from the crowds and the potential of anyone intruding in on them any further.
“Look, before you - ” Tony starts but Stephen doesn’t let him.
Instead he does what he should have done minutes ago, hours ago what he should have been doing for days and weeks and maybe the whole past year – he kisses him, gentle but with intent, intent unlike any other ever before.
And Tony kisses him back, just as eagerly, his hands coming up to rest on Stephen’s cheeks, thumbs running over his goatee.
“Well…I’m all for fast-forwarding,” Tony tries to hold back his smile as they pull apart. “But!” he slides one of his palms down against Stephen’s chest to stop him from leaning in again, tangling his fingers into his shirt. “First I need to know what’s gotten you freaking out on me tonight, don’t even try to deny it. First I catch you staring into the floor for five minutes, then you jump every time I try snuggling up to you…I mean could you blame me, you look ready to be eaten…and then you all but suggest I go dance with some random women instead of dancing with you! What’s that all about?! As if I cared about any single one of them and I mean the people downstairs, in general!”
“I…it’s…complicated. And probably stupid. Really, really stupid,” he signs, relaxing into Tony’s touch.
“Love, if you don’t know this already, I’m the Supreme Master of Stupid when it comes to…stuff. So shoot.”
He does. He tells him every single dark thought that’s been plaguing him tonight – and the past two weeks – about him not being enough for Tony, about Tony deserving someone better…and with ever word he speaks, Tony’s face grows more and more blank.
Until blank turns angry.
Tony nods, inhales and nods some more. “Okay…I’m…not going to say this just once. I’ll probably say this multiple times, hell I’ll fucking put his on repeat until it drills into your skull and every single thing you’ve just said is erased from there, for good. So listen well. You listening?”
Stephen nods, eyes fleeting everywhere else but Tony’s determined stare.
“It’s you,” is all he says and that does make Stephen focus on those two fiery hazel eyes.
“W...hat?”
“It’s…everything, everything in the past one year…comes back to you. I floated in space for months, the worst ninety-four days of my life following Titan and the only thing that kept me going was you. Whenever shit got too much, your face just popped up and I heard you say it was the only way and boom. Back on track. It was a lifeline then and some nights…it was a lifeline after. After everything. World saved, everyone back…it wasn’t enough. But I know…I know that when you were around, I felt safe. I’d hear those words in my head and I’d feel save. When I could hold your hand or fiddle with the Cloak, I’d know you’re here and we’re all here and we’re safe and it’s…Jesus fucking Christ, Stephen! It’s. You. It’s never not going to be you. It’s definitely never going to be anyone…other than you,” he adds, looking at Stephen as if…as if Stephen was the one who single-handedly saved the universe.
“I’m…I’m just…me. I’m not - ”
“You’re everything. To me.”
“What about everyone else? What are they going to s - ”
“You mean the Avengers? They’re going to say – it was about damn time! You think I got the balls to ask you out all on my own?! Dude…the James’s were putting me through a training montage for months! Natasha took me shopping. Clint suggested restaurants. Peter was a little shit about it and Pepper almost beat me to death with a shoe…a shoe! When I almost chickened out of the first date. They know. They all know. And approve!”
“They what?!”
And just like that, his brain decides to come back around again. All those weird - approving - looks and gestures and pats on the back, all of it makes sense now.
“As for anyone else? Who cares what they’re gonna think or say or write?! I haven’t cared since I was five and I highly doubt you even know what newspapers are since you’ve become a wizard.”
“Sorcerer.”
“Since you’ve become a fancy word for a wizard.”
“I don’t deserve you.”
“No you don’t. I’m a handful…on good days. Bad days…you will wish you’ve never met me.”
“Shut up, asshole, that’s the man I love you’re talking about there.”
“I’ll shut up if you’ll shut up, douchebag! Talking wild shit about the man I love! Nah-uh! Won’t fly with me!”
“Oh but I can fly with you,” he cracks a smile and feels like he can finally start breathing again. The Cloak comes alive right on cue and lifts him up just an inch.
“Show off. And come back down here! How am I supposed to kiss you when you’re a fucking Mount Everest all the time!” Tony pouts.
“Climb me up, Doctor Stark,” he whispers, descending back down, hovering just breath away from Tony’s face.
“That’s the plan,” he wiggles his eyebrows, but remains serious. “Now, will you come dance with me, Doctor Strange?”
“I don’t know. I’ve heard you’re not a dancing kinda man,” he throws his earlier words back at him.
“Only if I’m dancing with you, I am.”
“You sure? The way you talked about Lord of the Dance Quill sounded like you wanted to dance with him.”
“Jealous?”
“Of Quill’s dancing? Pffft. I’ll show you what dancing actually looks like.”
“We’ll have quite the audience down there. Sure you can handle that, Doctor Dance?”
“What audience? My eyes will be on you the whole time. Always. Just you.”
“And I’ll always dance with you and only you. No matter who’s watching. No matter how good of a dancer Quill is,” he smirks.
“Alright, that’s it. Let’s go, I’m going to once and forever erase the idea that Quill is a good dancer from your brain.”
“Lead the way, love.”
He could get used to the sound of that.
They steal the floor for an hour, the Avengers cheer for their mad swing solo, everyone cheers for their funky samba and when the piano starts playing slow and soft, there are hushed whispers going through the entire hall as they gently sway to the rhythm in each other’s arms and Stephen hears none of it.
He hears Tony humming to the piano melody. He hears the steady thumps of their hearts beating, resonating between their chests.
And he hears himself whispering a gentle I love you into Tony’s messy hair, and an echo of the words carrying to his ear from where Tony’s head rests on his shoulder.
~
Over and over the only truth
Everything comes back to you
~