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Remi always wondered why the universe gave them so much so quickly. Two soulmates before the age of 25 and a close friend they can't imagine living without. A home and a life and a family, better than any they could have imagined as a child.
They never thought they could have gotten it all just so it could be taken away.
They wander aimlessly through their empty apartment. They miss what they had. Mario Kart tournaments and movie nights with the cat curled up between all of them.
It's silent now, and Remi just feels numb. Derek hasn't been home for weeks, staying with his parents. James and Mia are. They're gone.
And isn't that the kicker. James and Mia were the ones on that plane. Derek and Remi survived. The two opposing, universally unconnected sides of their little family got to stay behind, and they lost the two people they both cared about the most in the world. All because of a stupid storm.
Remi eventually finds theirself on the couch, staring emptily at the blank tv. They hear the door open and distantly realize they forgot to lock it when they came in, but they don't care enough to make sure it isn't a robber.
"Remi?" they hear Derek call from the entrance, and oh, it isn't a robber. That's nice.
Derek locks the door and makes his way to the living room, sitting on the coffee table, facing the couch.
"Oh, Remi," he sighs, reaching for their hand. They let him take it without protest. "What are we going to do with you?"
Remi doesn't answer, because they know Derek wasn't asking them, not really. When they don't speak for several seconds, Derek pulls them into a hug.
"How are you feeling, Remi? What's going on?"
"Did you know," Remi starts, their voice hoarse from disuse, and oh. They haven't talked in a while, have they? "Did you know it can take up to 20 minutes to burn to death?"
Derek's breath hitches and he holds them a little tighter, but he doesn't stop them.
"It hurts, D. It hurts so much and I couldn't stop it and I don't even know if he was awake for it or not and Mia. I don't- I don't know anything about what happened to her, I just. I felt it. And I almost didn't notice. How could I not notice?"
Their face feels wet. They've been avoiding it, avoiding Derek, avoiding everything since it happened. Remi has never been good at processing their emotions and this is new territory all together.
Derek rests his chin on the top of Remi's head. "I know. There was so much happening, though, Remi. You were screaming and I could see it on your skin and I almost didn't notice either. But it's not your fault. Rem, honey, they were a thousand miles away, we couldn't-" and Derek's voice breaks too, a little bit. "We couldn't have done anything, no matter how much I wish we could."
Remi grips the front of Derek's shirt with one hand and bites their lip. They feel like they don't deserve Derek. Like without James and Mia he has no reason to stay. They're afraid he'll leave if they ask too much. But.
But without James and Mia, Derek is all they have. They struggled to make friends outside of those three people, and their family isn't an option. It's Derek or the cat and Cheddar isn't equipped for this.
"I don't know what to do," they confess eventually. "I can't. I don't even know what I can't do, I just can't ."
"That's okay, sweetheart. We'll figure it out. You're not alone in this."