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The leaves had turned brown already and were falling onto the grounds in flurries when strong gusts of wind hit the trees. The grass had begun yellowing as well. This was one of the only days this week that it hadn’t rained, and Albus was thankful for this. He didn’t like being holed up in his office all day. Albus leaned his upped body onto his outstretched arms, leaning further into the windowsill, trying to get a better view out the window. He huffed when he saw a storm coming, great grey tumbling clouds, moving slowly but purposefully towards the castle. At least he had gotten his outdoor time this morning.
The sun had begun to set, casting a warm golden glow on the grounds, rounding out the sharp edges of the castle and the trees. Everything looked soft from this vantage point.
Suddenly he heard the door to his office open and close. Slightly annoyed that someone wanted something from him at this hour he grimaced. He was always ready and happy to help his students, but today had been a particularly long day. His lessons hadn’t gone the way he wanted them to, he felt scattered, his brain all over the place. He figured he’d just woken up on the wrong side of the bed.
“How can I help-“, Albus stopped in his tracks, halfway turned around. Albus was shocked at who was standing in his doorway, clad in a dark traveling coat. A cold feeling dropped like a weight from his chest down to his stomach, making his body tingle and freeze.
“Albus.” Said Gellert Grindelwald, voice deeper than Albus remembered. He looked great, beautiful, Albus thought. Gellerts lips quirked on one side, he was nervous, Albus could tell. He was looked at Albus up and down, slowly raking his gaze over the older man.
“You shouldn’t be here.” Albus said quietly, because if he spoke louder his voice might not hold. He was confused at his own response, why was he worried about a wizard of his statures safety? Albus wasn’t scared of the other man, he was just shocked that Gellert got into the castle in the first place. He couldn’t believe he was here. After all, the news that Gellert had escaped prison broke only yesterday. He must have come to see Albus first thing. And after a second glance, he looked it, he had bags under his eyes. Albus wanted to ask him about his escape and where he’d been. What took him so long to finally come see him and why didn’t he come sooner, but his brain couldn’t form coherent thoughts right now, so he gave up on that idea.
“I know.”
“Then why are you here?” Albus slowly regained feeling in his body again. He turned around fully and made his way toward the front of his desk, trying his best not to trip or stumble. The silence in the room was deafening, suffocating. The only sound was Albus’ shoes clicking on the floor, bouncing off the walls and furniture. The older man reached his desk and perched on the edge, relieved that his legs didn’t have to hold him up any longer. Albus gripped the edge of the desk with both hands, knuckles turning white, grounding himself.
“I couldn’t resist,”said Gellert quietly, full of feeling, “not anymore.” His face was open, defiance and anger absent from his eyes, unlike in the newspaper pictures of him. The usual hard edges of his face were soft, eyes roving over Albus’ body. He started making his way down the rows of desk, toward Albus, slowly, trailing a finger on the desks. Albus swallowed hard. Now that Gellert was coming closer he couldn’t help the thoughts of what he wanted to do with him, to him. Thoughts that have haunted him at night, when he was alone.
He’d spent a lot of time in his head. He kind of had to, because talking to anyone about Gellert would be social suicide. They wouldn’t understand, and he wasn’t going to force them to. He’d thought that if Gellert had ever come back, or if he’d ever met Gellert again, he could keep his composure. Could tell him no, could resist. But when he was here, stood in front of Albus like this, within touching distance, looking down at Albus expectantly, Albus wasn’t so sure. Albus’ body vibrated with need, and nerves. He hadnt felt like this about anyone he’s been with since Gellert. It was frustrating, that after so many years Gellert still had this effect on him, and the other man knew it. Albus hesitated but he asked the question anyway, even though he already knew the answer, “what do you mean?”
As he looked into Gellerts eyes all the self control he had started seeping out of him. He wanted to be angry with Gellert, for leaving, for hurting him, for causing him so much indescribable pain and anguish. But he couldn’t find that in himself right now. He just wanted the man in front of him, desired him, needed him.
His face must have revealed all that, because next thing he knew Gellert was stepping closer, grabbing him by the neck and kissing him. Albus opened up to him, let himself be taken, without hesitation. He wanted to drown in Gellert, to drink him in, and so he did. Wrapping his arms around the other mans shoulders he pulled him closer, urging his to continue. He knew that they shouldn’t be here, shouldn’t be doing this, but he couldn’t stop, didn’t want to.
He breathed in Gellert, tasted him, finally after all these years. After all this time. Gellert took his breath away. Their kiss was passionate, deep, warm, full of yearning. It felt like a breath of fresh air, like he had been drowning all these years and now he’s surfaced, filling his lungs with oxygen.
Albus knew that this was the enemy, the man who’s caused immense suffering, killed countless people. But when Gellert was kissing him like this, with so much purpose and reassurance, Albus couldn’t help himself. He couldn’t stop him, didn’t want to stop him. He couldn’t give up his touch. And he hated himself for that.
Gellert, without warning, seized Albus by the back of his thighs and hoisted him up onto the table. Albus wrapped his legs around his lover and pulled their groins together. Gellert pulled back, a mischievous smile playing on his lips, red from kissing, breathing hard. Albus had so much he wanted to say, words and thoughts were bubbling in his chest, pushing out on his rib cage, but he knew right now was not the time. Selfishly, he didn’t want Gellert to stop, didn’t want to feel anything other than desire for him.
Gellert took a deep breath, collecting himself, then cupped Albus’ face in his hands gently, and kissed him. They stayed like this, kissing, touching, warm hands traveling and exploring the familiar terrain of each other’s bodies. Gellerts hands were gentle on him, lightly stroking his skin, carding his hair. He was driving Albus crazy. His form was solid, strong, he was bigger than Albus, he was a man now, and that thought made Albus’ head spin.
Gellerts hands traveled down Albus’ body down to his legs, where they halted, thumbs rubbing circles into his inner thighs. Albus groaned into the other mans mouth.
“I want you.” Muttered Gellert, grinding into Albus, sending fire though him.
Without a word Albus slid down from the table, pushing Gellert back with his body before grabbing him by the hand and pulling him towards his dormitory in the office.
Their transition to the bed was a blur, opening and slamming doors, stumbling over discarded shoes and jackets. Once the bedroom door was closed and locked Albus fell back on the bed, pulling Gellert on top of him, desperate for his touch.
Gellert climbed on top of the smaller man, slowly lowering himself to his lips, sucking his lower lip gently. They kissed for a long moment, Gellert grinding onto Albus, pressing them close together, needing the contact.
Their hands roved over each other’s bodies, clumsily and hurriedly unclasping buttons and zippers. The pressure that had built over the last 20 years was boiling over. Their movements were frantic, almost harsh, pulling garments off, tugging off the extra barriers.
When they were fully naked Gellert stopped, admiring the man beneath him. The full muscles of his arms and shoulders and the slimness of his waist. He’d missed Albus. More than he could ever say.
“Let’s go slow.” He said softly as he leaned down to meet Albus’ lips. Albus hummed his agreement into the kiss. They both wanted to cherish this, to make the most of this transient moment.
Albus knew that they should talk, talk things out, express their feelings for each other, but once again he found himself at a loss for words. All the emotion he’s been feeling for the past decades, all the frustration was starting to bubble over, and when Gellert took him into his mouth he couldn’t help but cry out. It was a high, pitiful noise, Albus was aware of that, but he needed to express how he felt in some way and if this was it, then so be it.
Albus tugged Gellerts hair, pulling him down onto his cock, urging him to take him deeper. Gellert withdrew, to Albus’ complete and utter disappointment but soon returned to lick up and down the shaft, to suck on the head. Albus’ head was spinning. His back was arched off the bed, head thrown back, soft moans escaping his parted lips. He was close, so close, and Gellert knew this.
“Gell- uh- Gellert stop I’m- close, shit!” Albus tripped over his words, and with a pop Gellert withdrew his mouth. Albus needed him, more than ever. He was so close, and he needed to feel Gellert inside him.
“Gellert, please...” he panted as he gripped Gellerts arms. The younger man leaned down to kiss him, rough, hard, bruising. Their lips still locked, Gellert pulled one of Albus legs up and started pushing a finger into his entrance. The stretch was familiar, but it’s been so long since he’s felt it. Gellerts fingers knew exactly where to go, how to work him into a writhing mess.
Gellert only got to two fingers when Albus decided he’s had enough. He wanted Gellert, needed to feel him.
“Gellert, Gellert please... I need you.” He huffed into Gellert mouth, hand tight on the back of the younger mans neck. The blond understood and withdrew the fingers. He leaned back, lining himself up, Albus’ legs lying on his hips.
For a short moment Albus felt like he was frozen in time. Gellert, beautiful, glorious Gellert, sitting between his legs, gripping his thighs, looking down at where their bodies joined with so much desire. Hair wet, sticking to his forehead, lips red, parted, eyes hooded and dark. Chest heaving, red from the blood-flow. He wanted to live in this moment forever, to have Gellert look at him like this until the end of time. Gellert looked up at him, their eyes locked. The younger mans gaze on him was worshipful, loving, intimate. Albus almost couldn’t take it, his chest tightened with love for the other man.
Gellert pushed into Albus, slowly, steadily. It was painful, but Albus gripped the sheets and refused to let the pain show on his face. He wanted Gellert, more than anything, and he didn’t want to wait any longer, he couldn’t. Gellert, with one hand gripping Albus’ trembling thigh, the other on his stomach, rubbing soothing circles, leaned down to plant soft butterfly kisses on his neck and chest. Gellert whispered sweet nothings against his skin, reassuring him, reminding him to breathe and to relax.
Fully seated, Gellerts breaths came short and ragged, body tight, trying his best not to move, not to hurt Albus more than he already has. Albus slowly relaxed around him, trembling thighs settling on Gellerts hips, his grip on Gellerts shoulders relaxing. When he was ready he gave Gellert a little nod and the blond planted a gentle kiss on his lips, starting to move slowly.
As they kissed, chest to chest, grinding together, Gellert inside him, Albus felt completely unfolded. Gellert was perfection like this, breathing out hot huffs into his ear, body moving in perfect rhythm with his. Gellert had once saved him from the cold of the world a long time ago, and he was doing it again tonight. Even though it probably wasn’t true, Albus felt like their desire and need was heating up the room, their rhythm beautiful, electric.
They rocked together, pleasure and desire building. Gellert made him feel so good, so full, so right. Gellert felt like home. Gellerts nose brushed his jaw as he left love bites on Albus’ neck. Albus wondered what it would be like if he caved, if he went with Gellert. But he knew, deep down, he could never do that. No one was a winner here, they would both lose when this is over. But for right now, Albus allowed himself to not care.
Albus groaned as Gellert hit the right spot, over and over again, making him tremble and shake, heat blossoming in his groin.
“Cum for me, sweetheart.” Whispered Gellert into Albus’ ear, voice low, husky, he was close himself. Albus was pushed over the edge, hips bucking, legs squeezing Gellert closer, head falling back. He let out a strangled moan as he came between them, pulling Gellert over the edge with him.
They held each other close, panting together, the afterglow keeping the sadness, the grief away, and Albus was grateful for that, because once it hit Albus didn’t know how he would cope. Gellert was kissing his neck, moving up his jaw, up his cheek to his forehead. Albus pulled Gellerts lips to his own again for a deep kiss. They stayed like this, sharp short breaths turning into slow deep ones. It was so intimate, the younger man was brushing his thumb gently against Albus’ jawline as they kissed. Albus didn’t know where ones body ended and another’s began.
After a few moments, Gellert pulled out of Albus and rolled over onto his back, laying down next to him. They stared at the ceiling together for a moment. The room had grown dark, and they hadn’t even noticed. Gellert lifted up a lax hand, using wandless magic to light the candles on the bed-stands. The room was cloaked in a warm gentle glow, casting their shadows onto the walls. Albus propped himself up on one elbow, leaning over Gellert, who opened his eyes and peered up at him. Albus leaned down and gave him a soft closed mouthed kiss.
“Stay with me.” Whispered Albus against Gellert mouth. He pulled back then, looked into his partners hooded eyes, partly afraid Gellert would tell him no. His hair was a mess, sweat still glistening on his forehead, mouth parted. Red marks have already started to appear on his neck, but Albus didn’t care. He traced them with his thumb gently, possessively.
“Please.” He added, more quietly. He couldn’t figure out what was in Gellerts eyes. Was it pity? Affection? Love? Albus couldn’t tell, but there was so much emotion in his eyes it was almost scary. Gellert leaned up and met Albus’ lips again. The kiss was quick, but sweet and gentle, as if Gellert was afraid Albus would break, and Albus was starting to think he might.
The rain clouds had rolled in while they were making love and rain was now beating down hard on the window, leaving giant blobs on the glass, streaks of water falling quickly. The only sounds in the room was of the raindrops hitting the castle. Gellert reaches up and brushed a loose strand away from Albus’ face, tracing his thumb down the older mans forehead, over the worry lines and down his cheekbone to his lips.
“Ok.” Said Gellert, with a soft sad smile. He looked like there was something else he wanted to say, but he held his tongue, choosing to look up at Albus instead with such vulnerability on his face. Albus didn’t think anyone else has ever seen Gellert like this, and he felt like he should cherish this moment.
Gellert was running his fingertips over Albus’ arms, down his back, over his sides, up his spine. Albus shivered under his touch. Suddenly, Gellert pushed himself up onto his elbows, burying his face into Albus’ neck and pushed him onto his back, gently. The blond kissed Albus’ neck, slowly, languidly, taking his time, tasting him again. Albus smiled, droopy eyed. He knew that he could never have Gellert like this again. Gellert seemed to be on the same page, because he wrapped his arms around Albus and tucked his head into his neck, exhaling hard, content. They laid like that for a long while, just breathing in each other’s scents.
Albus closed his eyes and hid his nose in Gellerts hair, placing a kiss on the top of his head. He couldn’t believe he had Gellert here like this, open, vulnerable, and his. This man, his deepest, most desperate desire, the only man he’s ever loved, ever will love, was in his bed, but this moment was fleeting. Albus wrapped his arms around Gellert tighter, tangling his fingers in his hair, pulling him closer. Gellert understood, he rolled them over again, to where Albus was lying on his chest, and pulled him close.
“I know.” He muttered into Albus’ hair, rubbing his neck reassuringly, playing with the soft hairs there, running his fingers down his spine.
Albus didn’t want to say anything, he didn’t trust his voice. A clump has formed in his throat. This was cruel, so cruel to both of them, but he didn’t blame Gellert, not for coming here. He blamed the world they grew up in, the world that didn’t allow them to be together. The world that will force them together again soon, but not like this. They would have to face each other in cold blood and Albus didn’t know how he was going to survive that. He loved Gellert. More than he loved himself, more than anyone or anything. More than life itself. His world was on fire, fear was blossoming in his heart-
“Hey.” Said Gellert, in the silence and Albus was jerked out of his thoughts.
“Hmm?” He hummed, cheek pressed to Gellerts chest.
“Look at me.”
Albus lifted his head reluctantly, resting his chin on Gellerts skin, peering into Gellerts eyes.
“It’ll be ok.” Gellert said softly, one corner of his lip tugging up, but Albus could see that it was forced.
“Don’t make promises you can’t keep.” Albus said in a heavy whisper. Gellert looked at him for a long moment, arms still gripping him tight. The younger man swallowed hard, looked away, blinking a few times. Albus could see the tears forming in his mismatched eyes and felt his own start to come up.
“Ok.” Said Gellert finally, looking back at his lover, trying the fake smile again. Albus appreciates the sentiment. Sniffing hard and pushing back tears Albus leaned up and gave Gellert a firm, long kiss. Like a promise. Everything he ever wanted to tell Gellert. The regret, fear, grief, and love he’d felt over the last two decades pooled into one kiss. Gellert understood. He gripped Albus’ sides tightly, kissed him back with just as much emotion. There will be marks in the morning, thought Albus, but he didn’t care.
When they parted Albus placed another kiss on Gellerts cheek and then laid back down on his chest. He closed his eyes tightly, trying to keep the sobs from surfacing and the tears from falling. He couldn’t tell Gellert goodbye tomorrow, but he knew that he will have to. He finally had what he’d always wanted and it was slipping between his fingers. He chose to focus on Gellert instead.
The man below him was breathing slowly, heart beating strong, steady. His skin was so warm, so inviting. Their legs were tangled together under the covers, warming them both on this cool autumn night. Gellerts face was buried in his hair, Albus could feel his breath on his head. He’d never felt so safe in his life.
Albus felt his eyes grow heavy, breath slow and body relax into the other mans. He didn’t want to fall asleep, didn’t want this night to ever end. They would have to face the real world tomorrow, and Albus wasn’t sure he was ready. Some small part of him wanted to believe that they could work it out, could run away together, live out a fairytale somewhere in another country. But a giant part of him knew that they could never get away with that. Albus’ brain came to terms with the fact that they only had tonight, and that this will never happen again, but his heart refused to acknowledge the truth, like it always has and always will.
Darkness set in slowly behind his eyes, clouding his brain, and he let it... tomorrow began to sound like a problem for later... right now he wanted to sink into Gellerts warmth and let him mind finally rest. So he did.