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-
Peter slammed his bedroom door hard behind him.
“DON’T SLAM THE DOORS!!” Tony yelled.
“IT’S MY DOOR AND I’LL SLAM IT IF I WANT TO!” Peter shouted back.
He turned on his CD player, loaded a disc, turned the volume up high, and hit play. Tony started shouting almost straight away. Peter ignored him and turned the volume up higher. Sure enough, Tony soon stormed into the bedroom and turned the CD player off.
“Hey! I was listening to that!” Peter protested.
“Tough! You only put it on to annoy me. Now you behave yourself, or else!”
“Or else what?! What exactly are you gonna do?!”
“I’ll tell your father, and-”
“I don’t care!” Peter interrupted. “Leave me alone!”
“Fine! But you keep your music turned down or that player and all your CDs are going in the bin”
Peter imitated him behind his back. Tony left the room, and Peter turned his CD player back on. He turned the volume down to a just-about-reasonable level and flopped on the bed. He looked at the clock. It was only 10am. It would be interesting to see how the rest of the day played out.
-
Loki raised an eyebrow at the sight of Tony angrily screwing new bulbs into a string of Christmas lights.
“Those little lights causing you trouble, my darling?” he said, getting his mug down from his cupboard.
“That boy is doing my bloody head in!” Tony hissed. “He’s an absolute devil sometimes”
“Why, what’s he done?”
“Oh, he’s just being a git”
“I see” he turned the kettle on and watched Tony for a moment. “Are they all broken?”
“No, just a few of them. Mainly down to our little boy, I’m sure” Tony grumbled. “Good job I tested them before putting them on the tree”
“You’re rubbish at putting lights on the tree anyway” Loki said. “You’re good at fixing them though, it seems. Tea?”
“Uhh, coffee” Tony said, securing the last new bulb and switching the lights on to test them. “There! So, when are we doing this tree?”
“This evening. I’m going to have a drink and get some stuff done this afternoon before we get the grotto back up”
“Well, I’ll set the tree itself up. I got everything out and just dumped it in the living room. You’re better at arranging the decs”
“Peter’s good at it too”
“He’s not helping”
“What? He has to help. He’s helped every year since I met him, and I daresay he’s been looking forward to it”
“Tough, he lost his decorating privileges when he decided to be a little terror today”
“That’s a bit harsh” Loki said.
“He’s in a major strop now anyway” Tony said. “He probably wouldn’t join in even if you asked him too”
Loki sighed silently and focused on making the drinks. He’d talk to Peter later.
-
Loki turned down the volume on Peter’s CD player.
“Perhaps a Christmas playlist would be more fitting, considering the occasion?”
“I don’t have a Christmas CD” Peter said simply.
He paused and then got up and turned the player off.
“I gather you and your dad have had a bit of a falling out” Loki said.
“Oh, he’s just being a git”
“Funny, he said exactly the same thing about you” Loki said, sitting down on the bed. “Care to share?”
“Well, he’s just being stupid, going on about swim team again”
“Why? Did you tell him you were thinking about quitting?”
“No” Peter said. “But, well, there was meant to be this big training thing on Saturday with a bunch of other schools, only I didn’t really want to go, so when I realised dad forgot, I just didn’t remind him about it. So I missed it, obviously, but today he was sorting out his memos and stuff and came across the memo for that and then he asked me about it and I just kinda shrugged so he just kicked off at me. Like he does”
Loki sighed. “Peter, I think it’s time you had a proper conversation with him about this. What excuse did you give Mr Musgrove?”
Peter shrugged. “Just told him I was ill”
Loki sighed again. “It’s high time you just quit, sweetie”
“Oh yeah, like that’s ever gonna happen” Peter scowled. “Dad would literally murder me”
“You need to talk to him about it, then. There’s no point wasting your time skipping practice and coming up with excuses to get out of events. If you’re not getting anything out of it anymore, it’s a waste of time and effort for everyone involved. Do people know you’re not enjoying it?”
Peter shrugged. “I don’t know. Well, Millie and Flo do, because I’ve told them, but I don’t think anyone else knows. I’ve had a lot of time off school this year anyway, so I wouldn’t’ve been at practice and stuff even if I still enjoyed it. I never really wanted to join in the first place. I’ve never enjoyed it the way dad thinks I do anyway”
Loki closed his eyes for a moment and pinched the bridge of his nose. “…I think this is a problem for another day"
“It’s an ongoing problem” Peter scowled.
Loki sighed heavily.
“What?”
“Nothing. Well, not nothing” Loki shook his head slightly. “I just don’t know why you two have to keep fighting and falling out”
“It’s not my fault” Peter said. “He’s just being unreasonable. Remember how he reacted when I said I wanted a tattoo based on Skyline Pigeon? It’s like he’s just looking for any excuse to get angry with me. Maybe he’s having a midlife crisis”
“That’s not funny, Peter” Loki sighed.
“I’m not trying to be funny. He’s been weird for ages now. He got angry at me for singing I Think I’m Going To Kill Myself yesterday too”
“Well-”
“It’s a banger! How could I help but sing it if it was stuck in my head?”
“Mm. Well. You’ll have to sort out your differences eventually” Loki made for the door, and paused. “Do you want to come and help me out for a little bit?”
Peter just glared at him, so Loki sighed and left, shutting the door behind him. It wasn’t worth the hassle.
-
Peter knocked and entered the spare room, which was currently acting as Loki’s crochet workshop. He looked round the room at the various creations, the craft boxes and baskets, and the scraps of wool and fabric. He looked at his father, sat on the bed, propped up on his special support cushion, working away.
“Hi, daddy”
“Hello, Peter” Loki said, not looking up.
Peter carefully sat down on the edge of the bed by Loki’s feet. He had a feeling Loki was still feeling a bit funny about their almost-tiff earlier that day.
“…What are you making?”
“A hat”
“Oh, cute” Peter nodded. “Who’s it for?”
“Someone little and sweet”
“Oh! Um, that’s real kind of you, daddy, but it looks a bit small, and yellow isn’t really my colour” Peter gabbled, feeling a little flustered.
Loki laughed. “I’ll say!” he shook his head slightly. “It’s not for you, sweetie: it’s for a charity we’re supporting at the hospital who give clothes and other essentials to babies born into poverty. Jo Jo’s been making little jackets”
“Oohhh! Oh, cute! How many have you made?”
“Oh, a few” Loki said. “They don’t take very long”
Peter looked closer at what he was doing. “It all looks so neat and stuff, like knitting”
“Well, it’s a similar craft” Loki said.
“Mm… It’s different to what those blankets you made after May died look like”
“It’s a different type of stitch”
“…Why yellow?”
“Well, humans seem to see it as a gender-neutral colour for babies. I’ve done some white ones too, but I had lots of yellow wool in my bag, so I thought I may as well use it up”
Peter nodded, watching the speed and skill with which his father worked. It still felt a bit funny, seeing Loki - God of Mischief, self-proclaimed and publicly proclaimed Hard Man - doing crochet - but in some way it was fitting, too: Loki was strange and unpredictable, and Peter felt this echoed that fact.
“Are you gonna do some Christmas ones?”
“I don’t think so” Loki said. “It’s better keeping them plain: that way they can be used for longer”
“Oh, that’s a good point” Peter said.
They sat quietly for a minute or two, and then Loki stopped and set his current project aside. He looked at Peter.
“Are you alright?”
“…I don’t know”
Loki held an arm out to him, and Peter crawled over and clambered onto his lap, leaning his side against his chest. Loki held him close, rubbing his arm firmly.
“I heard you and Tony shouting again earlier. Another falling out?”
“Mm”
“Care to share?”
“Oh, he’s just cross because I went and said I was thinking of quitting the swim team. Like you suggested”
“Ah. That explains it” he sighed. “Still, can’t you go five minutes without biting each others heads off? Besides, I didn’t say you had to bring it up today”
Peter shrugged. He didn’t feel like he was the one at fault. “Can you talk to him about it?”
“I can try” Loki promised. “Now, are you going to help put these Christmas decs up today or not?”
“Yes!” Peter said, immediately brightening. “Can we have that hot spiced cider stuff?”
“No, sweetheart”
“Well, why not?” Peter demanded.
“Don’t take that tone with me, young man!” Loki said. He sighed. “Remember your father’s weekly commitments?”
Peter felt himself turning red. “Oh yeah. Sorry; I forgot for a moment there”
He looked away, feeling a bit awkward and guilty.
“No matter, chick” Loki said. “You didn’t mean anything by it. I can do some sort of spiced apple juice though, if you’d like”
“Oh, that could be good!” Peter said. “Have we got any biscuits?”
“Nothing homemade, if that’s what you’re after” Loki said. “We’ll have to see what I’ve got in my cupboard”
“Nice! Are we going now?”
“We’ll have to see if Tony’s ready” Loki said. “He said he was working on something downstairs. Would you like to go and see if he’s free?”
“Oh, um…” Peter shifted uncomfortably. “I don’t know. I think he might still be cross with me”
“Alright” Loki sighed. He gave Peter a little pat. “Shift. I’ll go”
“No, it’s ok!” Peter said, worried he might have upset him. “I’ll go. You wait here!”
Loki couldn’t help but chuckle as Peter rushed off. He was a funny little kid.
-
Peter vaulted the main staircase and bounded down the stairs to the lab, punching the code in and throwing the door open.
“Hey, dad!”
“Hey, kiddo!” Tony said, quickly throwing a tarp over something on the workbench. He seemed in a much better mood now he’d spent a few hours juggling tools.
“What are you working on?”
“Never you mind!” Tony said, quickly going over to him and putting an arm round his shoulders. “What brings you down here? I thought I told you the lab was out of bounds”
“Did you? I don’t remember” Peter said, truthfully enough. “Are you still busy?”
“Why? Did you need something?”
“Aren’t we gonna put the Christmas stuff up today?”
“Ah, yes! I’d forgotten. You know me; always getting lost in my work”
“Yeah, you’re filthy too”
“Hey! Don’t be cheeky” he inspected his hands and shirt. “Alright, you’re not wrong. I got all the stuff and put it in the living room earlier. Go and annoy your father for a bit while I take a shower, and then we’ll get some decorations up, ok?”
“Are you calling me annoying?”
Tony sighed. “Don’t start, kiddo”
“I’m not starting anything!”
“Then don’t. Right, I’m gonna have that shower. Out of here now: I need to lock up”
Peter rolled his eyes and stalked off back up the stairs. Suddenly his sour mood was back.
-
Peter sat rocking on one of the kitchen chairs while Loki was making spiced apple juice.
“You’ll fall and crack your head open if you’re not careful”
Peter scowled and continued rocking.
“Peter, stop it”
“Why should I?”
“Because I said so! Now stop it”
Peter didn’t, tipping his chair right back on its back legs and letting it drop back onto all fours at the last second. He kept doing it, and the chair creaked ominously.
“Peter, I told you to stop!” Loki snapped.
Peter pouted, pausing. Loki looked back to the saucepan on the hob, and Peter resumed rocking back on his chair. He could see Loki twitching with irritation, but he didn’t care. He kept doing what he was doing, grumbling to himself.
He tipped back a little too far - the legs slipped, and the chair fell backwards to the floor with a clatter, taking Peter with it.
Peter squeaked as it happened, but fell silent in shock after he hit the floor.
“Peter!” Loki rushed to his side. “You silly child! Are you ok?!”
“I…I think so” Peter mumbled, trying to work out if he was hurting anywhere.
Loki breathed out. “For goodness sake, Peter! What did I tell you?!”
“…I didn’t crack my head open” Peter said, and he dared grin.
Loki growled, grabbing him by the elbow and sitting him up.
“I told you to stop, and you just ignored me! You’re lucky you haven’t seriously hurt yourself! Do you know how many kids I see on a daily basis who have hurt themselves in the same silly manner??”
“Um-”
“Not many, because most of them know how to listen to their parents!” Loki snapped. “Now, are you sure you’re ok? Did you hit your head?”
“I’m not sure…”
Loki gave him the once over. He was a bit shaky from the shock of the fall, but he seemed ok, aside from bashed elbows and a bump on the back of his head. Loki fetched an ice pack, which he gave to Peter to hold against his head. He sighed heavily.
“You silly kid” he said, helping him to his feet. “Right, go to your room”
“What?! Why?!”
“You know why! Now do as you’re told!”
“But-!”
“But nothing! I’ll come and get your when your father’s ready to do the decs. Now go to your room and try to stay out of mischief. And keep that ice pack on”
Peter sighed heavily, but he knew he didn’t really have a choice. He went off to his room in a huff and flopped on the bed. He kept the ice pack against his sore head, grumbling to himself. He was still feeling a bit shaky. Besides, he had a sneaky suspicion that he was in trouble with Loki now. That was a stress he could really do without.
-
Peter fell asleep for a bit, and he wasn’t very happy to be woken up.
“That face!” Tony laughed. “Don’t look so dismayed. Daddy’s done spiced apple if you want some”
Peter tried to pull a pillow over his face, but Tony grabbed it from him.
“Oi, get up” he said. “You can sleep after we’ve done the tree and stuff”
“I can’t be bothered”
“Tough” Tony said, grabbing him and hauling him to his feet. “You know you love decorating the tree. Don’t be a spoilsport”
Peter sighed heavily. “Fine, but I wanna get some of that drink first, ok?”
“Ok. Daddy’s gonna want to put the lights and beads on by himself anyway. He says I’m rubbish at it”
“You are rubbish at it” Peter said, walking through to the kitchen with him. “It goes all lopsided and uneven when you do it”
“Alright, I’ll give you that one” Tony said, pushing him into the kitchen. “Hey Lolly, get a big glass of that stuff served up for the sprog”
“Already done” Loki said, nodding at the Christmas glass on the counter. “Are you having some?”
“Sure am. It’s not Christmas without an experimental spiced Loki-drink” Tony said.
“I’ll take that as a compliment” Loki said, serving him a glass and fixing one for himself. He took a sip. “Well, I’d better get the lights on that tree”
“I’ll stick the Crimbo playlist on” Tony said. He looked at Peter. “What’s the kid gonna do?”
“He can sit with his drink and wake himself up a bit” Loki said. He looked at Peter. “How’s your head?”
Peter shrugged. Loki and Tony sighed and shook their heads at each other. Peter scowled.
“Right, living room” Tony said. “May as well make ourselves comfortable until we’re needed”
-
Peter sidled up to Tony while Loki was sorting the fairy lights.
“Why does he take Christmas so seriously? Why does he like it so much?” he asked quietly.
Tony was a little surprised at his question. He put an arm round Peter’s shoulders.
“You know, I think he’s still getting used to Earth, even though he’s lived here for quite a while now” Tony said. “I think… I think he needs something to turn to. You know he’s had a tough time, but you don’t know the half of it. He’s not had a great life, and I suppose something as mundane as human life is comforting. Something about the Christmas season really seems to do him good”
“Is it because of when you first got together?”
“Maybe a little bit” Tony laughed slightly. “He was so amazed by it all that first year. Art, music, medicine. Christmas. Four things he really loved and was interested in right from the start”
“Well…” Peter thought for a moment. “He’s incorporated all that stuff into his life”
“Yeah, he has” Tony gave him a squeeze. “You should sing to him. You’ve got a good little voice on you. I’ve heard you singing”
“I don’t know. It’s so different doing it in front of people” Peter said awkwardly.
“Even a silly Christmas song?”
“Even a silly Christmas song” Peter nodded. “I’m not singing”
“Ok, ok…”
They stayed quiet, watching as Loki finished putting the string lights and beads on the tree. He sighed and stood back, clearing his throat.
“There, done” he said. “You two can take over now”
He sat down on the sofa and picked up his mug.
“Aren’t you gonna help?” Peter said.
“You two can do the tree while I have a drink” Loki said. “I’ll help with the rest of it”
Peter shrugged and started sifting through the tree ornaments.
“Some of these are getting old now” he said.
“Yeah, I’ve had some of them for ages” Tony said, kneeling beside him. “You know, some of these are ones I had when I was a kid.
Peter nodded. “I remember you saying. It’s a funny mix, isn’t it? I mean, you’ve got those ones, and then some of these are like, Christmas market ones, and some are from posh shops, and some are from chain shops, and some of these are homemade, right?”
“Right” Tony said, picking up a hand-painted bauble Peter had done a few years ago. “It’s good to have a mix. It all looks good when it’s up anyway”
“That isn’t exactly a great one” Peter said, wrinkling his nose at the bauble Tony was holding.
“I think it’s cute. I like this one, too” Tony held up a snowman on a ribbon that Peter had made in woodwork last year. “I like your little creations. We’ll put up that candle holder you made too”
“Do we have to?” Peter said weakly.
The candle holder was another project Peter had done in woodwork at school. It was a large snowman, hollow inside, with a carved design at the front and a hole in the back of it for a tea light. It was a well executed and effective design, especially considering it was knocked together in only a couple of hours - but as soon as it was finished, Peter suddenly realised the obvious flaw in making a candle holder out of wood. He’d been mortified when he’d realised, and he was glad it was a mini project and not a big one. Luckily he’d kept to himself throughout his work, so a quickly written paragraph about a holder for electric tea lights in a durable material as a festive item for a household with young children was all it took to cover his back. He had, however, told Tony and Loki the truth about it, and Tony had laughed quite a lot.
“It’s cute. Now come on; are you putting any of those baubles up, or am I gonna have to do it all by myself?”
Peter kept his mouth shut. Gradually the tree started to take shape.
“You’re very quiet” Tony said eventually. “Everything ok?”
“I’m just thinking” Peter said quietly, turning a decoration over in his hand and hanging it on a branch.
“I gathered that” Tony said. “How are you feeling?”
Peter shrugged. “I don’t know. Kinda… lonely, I guess”
“Lonely?” Tony looked at him. “Are you serious?”
Peter shrugged again, keeping his gaze averted. “…I miss May”
“Oh sweetheart” Tony said, softening. “I know, chick. Sorry, I should’ve thought”
Peter shrugged.
“Talk to me, kiddo. I still miss her too”
Peter looked over his shoulder at Loki, who was busy looking at his phone. Peter looked back at the tree, putting another decoration on.
“What’s there to talk about?”
“Well, we could talk about what you remember about her. Or what you want to do this year? Like, a new decoration for that mini tree or something?”
Peter shrugged.
“Stop shrugging, chick. Come on; let’s talk”
“… Does this time of year make you sad too?”
“…Why?”
“Well, your parents died in December, didn’t they?”
Tony stopped for a moment. “Well, yeah, they did. I guess I still feel sad about my mum, and I still miss her when I think about it. But we didn’t really have cosy family Christmases anyway. I remember every year, obviously, but it’s different”
“Mm… What do you think they’d think of all this?”
“…I think they’d be surprised. Mother would’ve loved you. As for dad… Well, he’d probably be scared to death of your father, and I think he’d be strict with you, but have a soft spot for you too. It’s weird; I try not to think about it”
“Do you ever visit them?”
“Not really” Tony said, sifting through the few remaining tree decorations. “I didn’t really have a great relationship with either of them, you know that. I don’t really bother with it. I know a few people who still visit them, though”
“I can’t imagine not visiting May. Even though it’s been so long. I still like going every month”
“You go more than that sometimes”
“Yeah, I know. Sometimes I feel like it. It’s good to just sit there and talk”
Tony reached over and rested a hand on the side of Peter’s face, stroking his cheek gently with his thumb.
“You’ve had a tough time, haven’t you, little baby?” he sighed. “I’m proud of you, you know, and everything you’ve managed to achieve despite all of it”
Peter wasn’t exactly flattered. He pulled away and went and sat next to Loki. Loki looked up and put his phone away. He looked at the tree.
“Looks good” he nodded. “Well, shall we get everything else set up?”
“What are we gonna start with?” Tony asked, pushing his sleeves up. “Nativity?”
“I’ll do that on my own” Loki said firmly. “Peter, keep your hands off, ok?”
Peter feigned shock. “How could you think so lowly of me, father?”
Loki narrowed his eyes at him. He shook his head and stood up.
“Choose whatever you want to put up” he said. “And turn the stereo up”
-
For a while it was ok; setting everything up with the Christmas music playing and the sound of Loki and Tony talking filling the room. Peter stayed quiet, setting things up wherever he felt they looked good. He noticed Loki moving some things when he thought Peter wasn’t looking, so Peter went and turned all the characters on Loki’s nativity back to front while Loki’s back was turned.
Peter started to feel a bit fed up, especially when he watched Loki and Tony laughing and joking and kissing and dancing together. He was glad when the doorbell went and he had to go and answer it.
“Flo?!”
“Hi…”
“What are you doing here? Don’t you have a coat? You must be freezing!” Peter gabbled, pulling her inside and closing the door. “You are freezing! Here”
He pulled his jumper off and shoved it over her head before she could protest. Flo knew Peter wouldn’t take no for an answer, so she put it on properly.
“I’m sorry; I would have called ahead” she said. “It’s just-”
“It’s ok; it’s good to see you! You should come upstairs. Dad made hot apple, so you can have some of that, and-”
“Peter, who is it?” Tony called, appearing at the top of the stairs. He spotted the girl, and made his way down. “Flo? I wasn’t expecting you”
“I’m sorry, I know I shouldn’t drop it like this” she said awkwardly. “But I didn’t know what else to do”
“Are you alright? You look a bit shaken”
Flo swallowed and nodded. “I didn’t expect to be out for very long, so I didn’t take my coat when dad dropped me off. Only I accidentally left my phone and purse in the car, and I didn’t realise until it was much too late. I just wandered around, not really knowing what to do, but then I recognised where I was, and I just thought-”
“Hey, hey, don’t look so worried! It’s ok; you’re here now, and you’re safe. I’ll call your father for you”
“Thank you. I’m sorry, I-”
“Don’t be” Tony said. He looked at Peter. “For goodness sake, kiddo; put a shirt on”
“I need to look after Flo and get her warmed up and-”
“I’ll look after her: I’m the adult” Tony said firmly. “Now do as you’re told”
-
Peter put a shirt on, and after Flo was warmed up, he settled at the breakfast bar with her.
“He’s a bit tied up” Tony said, coming back into the room. “He’ll pick you up in an hour, when he’s finished”
Flo nodded. “Thank you”
“No problem, chick. Right, I’d better go and help Loki set the rest of this stuff up. You two can do whatever. But please, at least try to stay out of mischief”
-
-
Flo lay down beside Peter on his bed.
“At least we planned it this time” she said.
“Well, you kinda didn’t have a choice the other week when you left your phone and stuff in your dads car” Peter said.
“It feels like months ago already” she said. “It’s been such a busy time. Mother’s coming home for Christmas so dad’s been busy sorting everything for the big day. Mother usually does most of the decorating, but of course she was away. It’s been a long month”
“It’s still only the 18th” Peter said. “He’s got time… Are you looking forward to your mother getting back?”
“Not really” Flo admitted. “She’ll never like me like she likes my sister”
“That doesn’t mean she doesn’t like you”
“I don’t know. Maybe she does. Maybe she doesn’t. I don’t really know. I always feel like I don’t really know her. I don’t really see her all that much. I don’t really mind, but it makes it awkward when we have to spend time together”
Peter turned onto his side, looking at her. “When did you last have a Christmas with her?”
“Well, she’s there every year, but it always feels weird seeing her, since she’s away so much” Flo said.
“Oh right” Peter said, trying to understand. “What about Christmas Eve? Are you doing anything?”
“Oh. Well, I’m not sure yet. We don’t usually do much. Mother and my sister go out in the evening, and me and dad stay home and watch Christmas DVDs. Why?”
“Well, I was wondering if you wanted to come over. We usually go to this carol thing, but daddy’s working till late, so I don’t know if dad’s still gonna go”
“Oh, well I’d have to check with my parents and see what they say” Flo said. “A carol service sounds nice. But even if we didn’t go, I love your house at Christmas - it’s so cute and festive!”
“It is pretty cool at Christmas” Peter agreed. “We’ve got some cool stuff, although it does seem a bit overboard having Christmas blankets and Christmas bedding and Christmas throw pillows and Christmas crockery and stuff”
“Well, my family have Christmas day tableware too”
“Yeah, but we have like, Christmas season crockery, and Christmas day crockery. It’s a bit extra. Me and May never bothered”
Flo looked at him, noting the change in his voice at the end of his sentence.
“You had Christmas decorations though, didn’t you?”
“Yeah, but just the basic stuff. We had a few Christmas mugs, but they kinda got used all year round…”
Flo took Peter’s hand. “Are you ok?”
“I think so. I just still feel a bit funny thinking about her sometimes. Especially at this time of year”
“She passed away around this time of year, didn’t she?” Flo said gently.
“January. 13 days after Christmas. That’s not very long, really. We had such hope and plans for that year… Can I tell you a secret?”
Flo nodded and squeezed his hand.
“I’m mostly happy with all this, yknow, being a Stark, and your friend, and everything. But I’d trade in all of it in a heartbeat to get May back” he said. “I know it’s kinda bad to say, and I know it’s weird, since she died quite a while ago now, but still…”
“You can’t help how you feel” Flo said. “I know you were really close. You can still remember her, so that’s a good thing. And your parents do too, right? And you remember her in other ways, like that angel on the mantelpiece. And that robin there”
She nodded in the direction of the wooden robin on the edge of the headboard. Peter nodded slightly.
“Yeah, that’s true… I made another decoration for the tree on her grave. It was a peacock made out of scrap metal. Sounds rubbish, I know, but it turned out pretty well, which is god, because it took forever! She liked peacocks. I just suddenly remembered this painting she had in her room, and I’d been struggling to think of what to make, so I made that”
“That sounds cute” Flo said. “…Peter?”
“Mm?”
“Tell me about her”
Peter paused for a moment, still feeling hot and shaky and a little nervous. And then he smiled.
“Ok”
-
-
Peter couldn’t help feeling a bit put out.
“I’m sorry” Flo said. “But my mother isn’t the kind of person you argue with”
“Evidently not” Peter grumbled, brows furrowed.
“Don’t look so cross! I’m upset too, but there’s nothing I can do about it. There’s still other things we can do together, other than Christmas Eve”
“I suppose so” Peter sighed. “Well, in that case, maybe we should do our Christmas presents tomorrow”
“Sounds good” Flo nodded. “Shall we go out? There’s that funny restaurant in town, the one we had those nice burgers at?”
“Uuuuhhh, maybe” Peter said, forgetting his disappointment and getting his phone out to check the restaurants menu.
They read through the menu together carefully, and then Peter sighed and put his phone away.
“Their Christmas menu doesn’t really do it for me” he said.
“No, me neither” Flo said. “Shall we just do it here then?”
“Sure”
“We could go out for hot chocolate first” Flo suggested. “That gelato place by the emporium had a board outside advertising its Christmas hot chocolates”
“Oh, right” Peter said, brightening. “That sounds good! Ok, hot chocolate, and then back here for presents. Ok?”
“It’s a date!”
-
Spending time with Flo was always such a tonic. For a while, he felt like everything was normal. But all too soon they were saying goodbye, and Peter had to face his parents once again. Somehow, he didn’t feel very connected to them. Despite everything.
“What’s with the face?” Tony said, giving him a little tap on the cheek. “It’s Christmas!”
“It’s the 23rd” Peter said, keeping his eyes glued to his phone.
“It’s Christmas Eve Eve” Tony said. “Stop being so miserable!”
“Leave me alone then!”
“Peter, don’t talk to your father like that” Loki said.
Peter looked up from his phone and glared at him.
“Enough of the attitude, young man”
“Yeah, enough of the attitude, Peter” Tony said. “You won’t get any Christmas presents if you carry on like this”
“I don’t care” Peter grumbled.
Tony sighed. He made eye contact with Loki and they shook their heads at each other.
“Unbelievable. What’s gotten into you? You usually enjoy Christmas”
“So?”
“So stop being so rude and cheeky!”
“I’m not being rude and cheeky! Leave me alone!”
“Peter!” Loki snapped. “Stop it! Now go to your room”
“Why should I?!”
“Because I told you to! Now do as you’re told!”
“FINE!”
Peter stormed off and slammed the living room door behind him. He ignored his parents shouts and continued to his room. He grabbed his Spiderman suit. He was grounded now, technically, but he didn’t care. He didn’t suppose his parents would check on him anyway.
-
-
Peter didn’t feel much better on Christmas Eve. His parents didn’t know he’d gone out the previous night - or if they did, they hadn’t mentioned it. Peter slept most of the morning, and Loki had already gone to work by the time he got up. He wandered about for a little while, looking at all of the lights and decorations all over the house. He didn’t feel in the least bit Christmassy. Even looking at the presents under the tree didn’t make him feel festive.
“You’d better not be poking around those presents”
Peter spun round. “Oh, it’s just you”
“Charming. What are you up to, sweetheart?”
Peter looked at him sceptically.
“What’s with the face?”
Peter didn’t reply. Tony sighed and put an arm round his shoulders.
“You’ve been acting funny for a while now. What’s up? Anything you want to talk about?”
Peter shook his head.
“Alright, suit yourself. Anyway, I wanted to talk to you about tonight” Tony said, guiding Peter over to the sofa so they could sit down. “I’m still gonna go to that carol service, even though your father’s gonna miss it. Are you gonna come with me?”
Peter shrugged. Tony sighed.
“A real answer would be nice. If you’re coming, you’ll need to be ready by about quarter past five” he said. “But if you wanna stay here and watch TV or something, that’s fine too. Daddy should be home around half six anyway, so you wouldn’t be alone for that long”
“I’ll think about it”
“Better decide soon, kiddo”
“Is Pepper coming round tomorrow?”
“No, she’s seeing family” Tony said. “She might come over on Boxing Day though. Why?”
Peter shrugged.
“What about uncle Thor?”
“Uhh, maybe Boxing Day, if he’s about. I can call him and ask, if you like?”
Peter shrugged.
“Don’t your shoulders hurt? You’re always shrugging. It’s not a very dignified look”
“So? What do you care? It’s not like I’m at school”
“Funny how that school still hasn’t managed to fix some of your little faults after all this time” Tony said. “You’re too stubborn; that’s your problem. Just like your parents”
“Oh come on, dad; I’m never gonna be like all those kids at school. Why should I be?”
“Well, you do go for a school for young ladies and gentlemen”
“Yeah, and whose fault is that?” Peter shook his head slightly. “They’re not all perfect, yknow. I mean, you’ve met Macy. And Malaki”
“Mm, that’s true. Macy can at least keep up appearances when the situation calls for it” he said. “That Malaki is a bad influence on you. He’ll end up getting expelled one day; you mark my words”
“You’re so dramatic”
“I’m not wrong though”
Peter scowled at him. Tony laughed slightly and ruffled the boys hair.
“The wind’ll change and your face’ll get stuck like that if you’re not careful”
“You’re not funny”
“Wanna bet?” Tony pulled him close, kissing him hard on the cheek. “My little boy~. You’re gonna end up with a stocking full of coal, you know”
“What, for getting annoyed?”
“No; for being rude and cheeky, you little tyke” he gave him a squeeze. “You ought to get into the Christmas spirit, chick: it is Christmas tomorrow, after all”
“I know that”
“Well, aren’t you excited?”
Peter shrugged.
“Stop shrugging! Use your words”
Peter didn’t.
“Alright” Tony sighed. “Do you want a drink or something?”
Peter shook his head.
“Ok, so do you wanna watch a film?”
Peter shrugged. Tony growled and grabbed him by the shoulders.
“Stop shrugging! You’re doing my head in!”
“Good!”
They looked at each other in silence for a moment or two, and then Tony sighed, let go of him, and picked up the TV remote.
“Let’s watch a film”
-
After a quiet afternoon watching Christmas films, Peter felt a little put out when Tony started getting ready for the carol service.
“You can still come with me, you know” Tony said, pulling his coat on.
“No thanks…”
“Well, you be good then. Watch some telly or another DVD or something. Daddy’ll be back before you know it”
-
Peter curled up on the sofa watching the Christmas episodes of The Simpsons he had on the planner. He was feeling better, and almost like he was getting into the Christmas spirit. It was nice to be alone in the house for once: it didn’t really happen all that often, especially not anymore.
It didn’t last long. Loki arrived home about 90 minutes after Tony had left. Peter paused the telly, and Loki soon came into the living room.
“Good evening”
“Hi…”
Loki looked at the telly. “Am I interrupting?”
“No…”
“Well, I’m going to have a shower and get changed, and then I’ll join you. I take it Tony went to the service?”
Peter nodded.
“I thought as much. Has he been cooking today?”
Peter nodded again. “And baking”
“I thought I could smell home cooking. Anyway, I’m going to go and sort myself out. I won’t be long”
Peter waited until he was out of the room before pressing play again. He snuggled down and settled back into his current episode of The Simpsons.
-
Tony arrived home much too soon, Peter thought. It had been nice watching telly quietly, with Loki crafting away on the armchair. Still, Loki was happy to see him. As always.
Peter wasn’t happy about having to leave the sofa to go and have soup and scones in the kitchen. Luckily his parents were too deep in conversation to care that he was so quiet, or notice how little he was eating. They did, however, notice when he took his phone out.
“Not at the table, Peter” Tony said firmly. “You know the rules”
Peter sighed and put his phone away. Tony nodded slightly.
“Good boy. Eat up now”
“I’m not very hungry”
“You’ve only had half a scone and two spoonfuls of soup”
“Well-”
“You need to eat, sweetheart” Loki said. “At least try. For me”
"But-”
“But nothing” Tony interrupted. “Do as you’re told. It’s not too late for Father Christmas to move you onto the naughty list”
“You say that every year” Peter scowled.
“Eat” Tony said. He looked back at Loki. “So anyway, I rang the office, and asked to speak to the stupid bugger myself. He beat about the bush, of course, but we got there in the end, and I said-”
-
As per the tradition, they put The Snowman on after they’d eaten and tidied up. Loki sat on the sofa and pulled Peter onto his lap, and Tony sat beside them with his arm round Loki’s shoulders. Peter felt a little funny. He felt comfortable against Loki’s chest, but he didn’t feel like he should really be there. He had a feeling Tony still wasn’t very happy with him. He hadn’t really been the same with him for a while now. Loki was being ok though. He had his arms round him, cuddling him the way he always did.
Peter tried to focus on the film, but his thoughts drifted and he found himself feeling rather tired. He dropped off for a little while but woke up when Tony got up to turn the DVD off.
“Are you ok there, sweetie?” Loki asked gently. “I think you fell asleep for a moment there”
“Mm… I’m kinda tired”
“You look it. Maybe it’s time you called it a night”
“It’s only half eight, Loki” Tony said, standing up. “He’ll never sleep through the night if you send him now”
“I’m not a baby, dad” Peter said.
Tony raised an eyebrow. “Wanna bet?”
Peter scowled, and Loki laughed.
“Leave the poor baby alone” he said. “Now darling, why don’t we all have a drink and listen to Smooth radio for a bit?”
“You sound so old sometimes, Lolly, my dear” Tony said, but he turned on the radio nevertheless. “Peter, go and stick the kettle on”
“No, no, don’t move, chick” Loki said, keeping hold of him. “You can make the drinks, Tony, my darling”
“Alright, alright. Well, since it’s Christmas. What are we all having?”
“I’ll have a Lady Grey” Loki said. “Milk and sugar, of course”
“Alright” Tony nodded. “…Kid?”
“Umm…”
“Warm milk?”
“No, uh-”
“Make a decision, Peter!”
“Tony! Don’t shout at him!”
“I wasn’t shouting!”
“I won’t have anything then” Peter scowled.
“Stop it, both of you” Loki snapped. “Tony, you know what he likes. Use your initiative”
Tony sighed and kissed Loki on the cheek. “Won’t be long”
Peter waited till Tony was out of the room before speaking.
“He hates me”
“What?! No he doesn’t! Don’t be silly”
“I’m not being silly! He’s been off with me for ages now” Peter said, tears welling in his eyes.
“He’s just been busy and a bit stressed. You know it’s been a tough year for him. For all of us, in fact” Loki said. “You know he loves you more than anything in the world”
Peter went quiet, listening to the radio.
“Christmas tomorrow” Loki said, changing the subject.
Peter nodded. “It’s starting to feel like it now”
“That’s good” Loki said. “It should be nice, a relaxed day with my little family and plenty of good food and drink”
“No Baileys hot chocolates though”
“No, well, that’s not really important” Loki said awkwardly, not really wanting another one of those conversations. “I take it you’ll still want to go to the cemetery tomorrow?”
Peter nodded. “I saw those flowers you got. They’re pretty fancy”
“Well, she deserves nothing less” Loki said. He paused, and sighed. “I do miss our May, you know”
“I know… I miss her too. I thought I would’ve stopped feeling so strongly about it by now, but… Well, it still hurts”
“To be honest, sweetheart, I rather think it’s going to hurt forever. Not as much as at the start, of course, but it will still hurt. We can’t help how we feel. It’s good to remember her, though. She always did love this time of year”
“I liked spending Christmas here back then, when it was four of us” Peter said. “She was a big personality, wasn’t she?”
“I suppose she was, yes. Why do you say that?”
“Well, when she was here, and there were four, well, four seemed so much more than three, y’know?”
“I know” Loki nodded understandingly. “I think we were all big personalities, in our own way”
Peter looked over at the crystal angel on the mantelpiece. He looked at the pictures on the walls: some of them festive, some of them ones that were there all year round - including several from back when Peter still had three parental figures in his life.
“Don’t you think it’s funny how you can forget about these pictures?”
“What do you mean, sweetheart?”
“Well, I see them everyday. Multiple times a day, I guess, but I don’t really register them”
“I see. Well, I suppose when you’re getting on with your everyday life, everything just blends into the background. There’s many things I often forget about in the same way”
Just then, Tony came back into the room. He handed a mug each to Loki and Peter, and then sat back on the sofa with them.
“Christmas seems to have snuck up so fast this year, don’t you think?” he said, sipping his decaf. “I swear it was still November five minutes ago”
“It’s funny how things sneak up on you” Loki nodded. “It’s been a busy month, I suppose. Still, it’ll be nice to relax for a while”
“When are you back at work?”
“Not till the New Year. Not until Peter’s back at school, I don’t think”
“I go back on the seventh” Peter said.
“Yes. I’ll have to check my diary, make sure, but not just now” Loki said. “I’d like to focus on the family for a while. It’s high time we spent some more quality time together, don’t you agree?”
“A good New Years Resolution, I think” Tony nodded. “Maybe next year we should finally go abroad for Christmas. Christmas markets, at least”
“Maybe” Loki said. “I think we should wait and discuss that nearer the time”
They went quiet for a while, listening to the Christmas music playing on the radio.
“Who’s cooking tomorrow?” Peter asked.
“Me” Tony said. “I’ve got everything planned already. I even prepped some stuff while you were sulking this afternoon”
“I wasn’t sulking!” Peter said indignantly.
“Alright, no need to shout” Tony shook his head. “Anyway, you’d better be finishing your drink and laying your stocking out and getting settled for the night, don’t you think?”
“Wait, just five minutes ago you were saying I couldn’t go to bed just yet!”
“Yeah, but by the time you’ve finished your drink and done everything else, it’ll be near enough bedtime - and you always have an early night on Christmas Eve anyway” Tony said. “I don’t want you having too much of a lie-in tomorrow morning”
“Mm, whatever” Peter sighed. “Daddy, am I doing the stocking in your room again tomorrow?”
“Of course” Loki said. “You can’t break the tradition now”
“And do I still have to get dressed and have breakfast before we do the big presents?”
“Yep” Tony said.
“Can I open a present tonight?”
“Nope! You can wait till tomorrow like everyone else”
“Aww, but I’ll give both of you one of your presents tonight too?”
“No way, chick” Tony smiled. “Presents are for Christmas Day”
Peter sighed as though he were annoyed, but he didn’t really mind. He was starting to feel better. Maybe it was a good job it was Christmas tomorrow after all.
-
Peter finished his drink, and Tony sent him off to get ready for bed. Peter went off to his room and did his teeth and got changed into an old set of joggers and a t-shirt. He picked up his lovely homemade stocking and lay it carefully at the end of his bed. He looked round the bedroom. It wasn’t very tidy. Somehow he hadn’t managed to find the time to do a proper tidy up, or even find places for his presents from his friends to go. He didn’t have a jug at the moment either, as he’d put it in the dishwasher that morning and hadn’t grabbed a clean one.
Luckily Loki was just as prepared as ever, and he came into the room armed with a jug of water and a glass, which he set on Peter’s bedside table.
“There. Are you ready for bed?”
Peter nodded.
“Good. How are you feeling?”
“I’m not sure. Tired, I guess”
“Excited?”
“Maybe a bit” Peter said, looking at his stocking.
Loki looked at it too. “Hopefully you’ll be brought something more than coal”
“I won’t if dad’s got anything to do with it”
“You seemed to be getting on a little better this evening, despite what you said earlier” Loki said. “Tomorrow will be a good day; you know that”
Peter nodded slightly. He rearranged his pillows and cuddly toys, and climbed into bed. Loki carefully lay the covers over him and turned the night light on.
"You look tired”
“He is tired” Tony said, appearing in the doorway. “He fell asleep watching The Snowman, didn’t he?”
“Well, yes” Loki said. “Still…”
“I’m fine” Peter said, turning onto his side. “The early night sounds ok though. Then when I wake up, it’ll probably be Christmas”
“Probably?” Tony said, raising an eyebrow.
“Well, there’s always a chance I’ll fall asleep and then wake up again before midnight”
“Mm, I suppose. Well, you’d better get some rest then, kiddo. You can chill as much as you like tomorrow, but I’d still like to start the day at a decent time”
“Ok, ok. If I’m awake around eight, I’ll get up around eight”
“Good boy” Tony smiled. “Love you, sweetheart”
Peter paused for a moment. “Love you too”
“I’ll leave you too it. Night kiddo”
“Night dad”
Loki watched Tony go, and turned back to Peter.
“What are you thinking?”
“…Next year will be better, won’t it?”
Loki stroked Peter’s hair gently, not quite looking him in the eye.
“I hope so”
“Hope…”
Loki looked at him properly. “I hope so. I’m sure it will be”
“Mm… Well, let’s get Christmas done first, right?”
Loki laughed slightly. “Yes, let’s have a nice Christmas. Now you settle down and go to sleep. Or Father Christmas will never come”
“You know, I think you might have been made to work with kids, even though you weren’t born on Earth or anything” Peter said, snuggling down.
“I’ll take that as a compliment” Loki chuckled.
“Do you find it hard being at work?”
“It’s a challenge” Loki said. “But it’s a lot easier now than it was when I first went back. Come along now; settle down. It’s bedtime”
“Ok. Sorry”
“Don’t be” Loki kissed him on the cheek. “We’ll have a good day tomorrow, chick”
“Mm, we’ll see”
“You’ll feel better in the morning. A good nights sleep will do you the world of good, darling”
“Ok… I trust you” he said. “Love you”
“I love you too, sweetheart” Loki said. “See you Christmas morning”
Peter smiled. “See you Christmas morning”
*
*
*