Chapter Text
In Pride Immortality Demonic Ways one of the best (or, if Shen Qingqiu is going to be honest, the only) well-written scene was Luo Binghe and Liu Mingyan’s epic engagement arc.
Damsel in distress, being forced to wed whoever can defeat her in combat? Check!
Evil villain (or, if not evil , at least slightly balding, and with breath just a little off from fresh) fighting his way through the tournament to force her hand? Check!
A noble and selfless Luo Binghe, entering the tournament with the goal of defeating the terrible villain and then throwing the match, so that Liu Mingyan can continue safely trouncing all the other comers? Check! So heroic, so noble! Shen Qingqiu may swoon!
And then…! In a sudden twist, Luo Binghe meeting with his estranged, exiled shizun in the very same tournament! The original Shen Qingqiu, revealing his plans to snatch the vast Liu territories- and the fair Liu Mingyan, at the same time- for his own treacherous advancement!!
It led to a magnificent fight scene in which Luo Binghe confronted his shizun, and Shen Qingqiu revealed his true thoughts toward his apprentice’s growth.
A monster!! A terrible shizun!! Shen Qingqiu had railed in the comments section, when the original spelled out all the steps he’d taken to stunt or halt Luo Binghe’s growth.
But the protagonist, of course, was triumphant! He soundly defeated his once-mighty shizun, and in doing so, won Liu Mingyan over, so that it was in the end she who threw the match, succumbing to Luo Binghe’s charms and pledging herself to his cause as his strongest wife!!
Ahhhh what a satisfying arc!
Now that Shen Qingqiu has to live through it, though…
So. Originally, his plan was to just avoid the tournament entirely. Sure, he’s staying in the town where it’s happening, but that doesn’t mean he has to do anything about it! La la la, haven’t noticed anything here!
He has, though, been watching the tournament enrollment sheet (“Win the hand of the Liu clan heir! Show your worth in combat! Enrollment fee 5 silver, please pay before entering”) like a hawk. Sure enough, two days before the tournament, Throwaway Villain #537 goes up on the name sheet!
All is as expected. Shen Qingqiu keeps watching just in case, but strangely…
Even though he waits until the hour before the tournament, watching from behind some trees...
…
Why isn’t Luo Binghe coming to enter his name?!
All the other characters who signed up are cannon fodder! Like this, Liu Mingyan is going to be forced into an unwanted marriage! Luo Binghe, can you really let your wife be treated like this?!
Shen Qingqiu fidgets at the sides, and waits until the last minute possible before running up (pardon, “walking swiftly in a stately manner fitting of an immortal’) to the harried-looking person taking down the sheet.
“I’ll add my name,” he says in his best lofty tone, while inside he’s sweating buckets.
Why does he have to take on the role of the noble protagonist, throwing away his chance at marriage to let the heiress win? Is this going to come back to bite him in the ass?!
Thoughtlessly, he scribbles down a pseudonym. He’s still on the run after Luo Binghe’s return, so he can’t use his real name! Instead, he’ll use...
Uh…
Peerless Cucumber?!
Wh...why did he write that...
He stares down on the paper, then deliberately smudges the characters until they’re mostly illegible.
…
This should be fine.
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And, though he keeps telling himself that everything will be fine, as he approaches the tournament site, it seems… less and less fine.
Hey, has the fighting already started? Why are there so many people lying on the ground around the ring? And why are they all… kids?!
“Um,” he says, gesturing at some of the youths, covered in bruising and panting through ferocious grins though they can’t even sit up. “Aren’t they a little young to think about marriage?”
The tournament coordinator, still carrying the scroll, glances down at the children. “Oh, them? They’re here every week. The Liu heir isn’t allowed to take apprentices while unmarried, so they just come and fight at the tournament.”
That doesn’t sound quite right to Shen Qingqiu, based on what he read, but he shrugs and steps over the bodies. Carefully. A couple of them look like they have broken bones. Poor things.
“When do I fight?” Shen Qingqiu asks, as the tournament manager tosses the scroll with the names down carelessly on a table.
“Oh,” she says, “there’s no schedule, really. The challengers just offer to fight each each other, or my lord Liu, until no one’s left standing.”
Shen Qingqiu blinks. That’s… not how he remembers it.
“Can I-” he goes to ask, and suddenly, a body flying through the air slams past his face and into the table, sending it crashing in pieces to the ground and knocking everything off it.
The man who flew by groans once, trying to lift his head, then falls back to lie on the broken remains of the table.
…
Shen Qingqiu slowly turns to the tournament grounds.
There stands…
Liu Mingyan! Certainly it’s Liu Mingyan. She matches the description, thin and lithe and dressed in all white, even her modest veil doing nothing to hide her scintillating beauty. Her hair is up in a masculine style- hey, good for her, Shen Qingqiu isn’t one to judge!- and she holds a shining white sword. The sword isn’t bloody, but it seems as if it would very much like to be.
While Shen Qingqiu is struck contemplating the Liu heir’s beauty, sneaking up from behind is…
Villain #537! Trying to launch a sneak attack on Liu Mingyan while she’s not paying attention!
Shen Qingqiu is just stepping forward, about to open his mouth to call out a warning, when Liu Mingyan sends a blast of sword energy out of her hand without even looking, catching Villain #537 square in the chest. His eyes go wide, and he hurks up a mouthful of blood, before falling straight forward in slow motion, like a tree being toppled.
He hits the ground in a puff of dust, and doesn’t get back up.
…
Welp! Seems like Liu Mingyan has things handled here! Shen Qingqiu will see himself out!
“Next!” Liu Mingyan’s voice barks, and for some reason, it sounds…
Uh… more… baritone than he would have expected…?
Shen Qingqiu’s foot freezes halfway through his turn to leave, as… Liu Mingyan’s…? eyes light on him, drawn by his movement.
“You,” the cultivator in white says. “You look like you can fight.”
“Who, me?” Shen Qingqiu says, quickly opening his fan to cover his face. “No no, I just came to… to watch.”
“He signed up to fight in the tournament, my lord,” the tournament coordinator says in a put-upon tone. She appears to be trying to pick a few documents out of the rubble of the table, and is having very little success. A paper rips slighty in her hands when she tries to tug it out from under a broken board as Shen Qingqiu watches; he would almost feel bad for her at the way she sighs, if she hadn’t just thrown him to the wolves. Betrayed!
“You have a sword,” the cultivator says, eyeing Xiu Ya with interest. Their hand shifts on the hilt of their sword.
Wait, now that Shen Qingqiu is getting a closer look at it…
That sword! He recognizes that sword!
What the fuck! This is… This is…!!!
Okay, so when Shen Qingqiu originally transmigrated, he may have inadvertently made a few changes to the timeline. He may have saved the life of a mysterious white-clad cultivator that he only later realized was the war god Liu Qingge, who was supposed to die at his feet while he covered his face with his fan and laughed like a 90s cartoon villain or something, all in order to partially fuel Luo Binghe’s totally justified revenge plots against him (revealed in this very tournament arc, in fact).
But he hadn’t anticipated that the effects of that would extend to…!
“Liu Qingge...” he murmurs, quietly.
“What’s that?” Liu Qingge says, frowning. You can’t blame Shen Qingqiu for not recognizing him- he wasn’t wearing a veil before! “Do we know each other?”
“No, no,” Shen Qingqiu says, fanning himself faster. Oh god, he can’t go up against Liu Qingge! Help!
Liu Qingge gives him a strange look, then gets right down to it.
“Fight,” he says, apparently not one to mince words. His hand is already moving on his sword, leaping towards Shen Qingqiu (who’s standing outside of the bounds of the tournament grounds, he might add! Isn’t this a no-fighting zone?!) in one lightning-quick move-
Only to be stopped by a tall, grey-clad body, suddenly blocking in front of Shen Qingqiu with a sharp, ringing sound of swords meeting.
“Shizun,” a deep, unfairly charismatic voice says.
Shen Qingqiu feels himself break into a second layer of sweat.
“I wasn’t aware you had any interest in marriage,” the man in front of him says, turning to reveal an illegally beautiful face, crowned with a faintly glowing red demonic mark.