Chapter Text
Hey, bitch.
if you are going to resort to name calling right out the metaphysical gate, i am going to ignore you. i have more important things to do.
Right. Like possess multiple Jades at once like some weird fucking serial killer that only kills girls named Jade with long black hair that are also furries and you take trophies but the trophies are the entire body and also being. THEN you use the bodies and beings to stalk the Jades' friends and family at length and whine about how strong I'm getting. Got it. Moving on. Hey, bitch. Are you listening? Reading, as it were. Well, it doesn't really matter what you say or if you're listening either way, since this isn't your space-time rodeo. It's mine. Remember? Of course you do. It really grinds your gears, doesn't it? Knowing that no matter what you do, this isn't your timeline, this isn't your universe. None of the shit you're pulling is going to matter in the long run, in part because you're a fucking hack that never knows what she's fucking talking about, and in part because you're irrelevant.
Fuck, I derailed myself.
Anyway. My point is I've been thinking a lot lately. I always think a lot, but something's been bothering me. In all the plans, in all the deep diving I've done, one thing's been a constant. I've talked to Rose about it too, and she wasn't much help, though she did say that on this one thing, there's little divergence across realities, which tracks with what I can sense as well. Once John Egbert dies his heroic death, he stays dead. No matter what.
But why? Is it necessary? Is it impossible to bring him back, or is there something else at work? His death was necessary, of course. There's no disputing that. He had to be excised from the narrative entirely to get rid of all those pesky protagonist powers. Plus he was miserable. It was really a mercy kill at that point. I mean, yikes. He just jumped right into it, didn't he? He knew he was going to die. It was still like herding ∞ cats at once to get him where he needed to be, but he got there in the end. But I don't think it's plausible for him to not come back in any potential timeline offshoot. Something is wrong.
I think the narrative just can't see him anymore when he comes back because he's not a part of it anymore.
prince.
Shut the fuck up while the grown ups are speaking. My point here is that it's exciting, isn't it? An unknown variable. Something, someone, no one can follow. Fuck, consider this: that's John's Ultimate form. He skips the entire harrowing process and becomes the embodiment of freedom that he would have eventually become, but completely avoids the part where he would have permanently sublimated into wind because of it. He's fixed. He's perfect.
Now, the resurrection process is an issue. That'd take some work, to say the least.
you mean impossible. you have no access to kernelsprites, your powers do nothing for him, nor do those of your traveling companions. you are dead in the water. you have a dead body and a manifesto. that is it.
But my manifestos always sound so good, don't they? Besides, I've got nothing but time. Three years is a long time, after all. Sure, I was going to prototype him and then put the sprite in a robot body, but I think I can come up with something sooner than that.
what are you doing?
Wouldn't you like to know?
you are going to fail.
You're real steamed you won't be able to tell, aren't you? You won't know. You won't know until it's too fucking late. I'm so many fucking steps ahead of you that you can never catch up. So enjoy your stalking, and pretending to be spooky and mysterious when you're just an insufferable bitch that pretends to be impartial. Was all that shit you pulled impartial? "Not letting people ignore their feelings?" Fuck you. You're a hack. I'm going to beat you. I'm also going to kick you out of Jade. Again: creepy.
how long will you last when we meet in person?
You know, as flattering as the attention is, you're barking up the wrong tree. If I didn't let your alternate-universe brother, who presented as a gender I'm actually attracted to, fuckmurder me, why would I let you, the more annoying girl version, do it? Besides. No aliens. I'm just not into you like that. Get over it. Now, don't bother trying to fuck around and reply.
Daddy's got some work to do, and, well. You know what, actually, no, I don't like that. Daddy is not a good look. No thanks. Forget that part. Instead: Yee, and I cannot stress this fucking enough, haw.
Here we FUCKING go.