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jisung held his bag strongly against his chest, he couldn’t even contain the small smile on his lips. he was in the us for about 1 month and he missed hyunjin so much, he missed his boyfriend so much and he couldn’t wait to see him, to just kiss him.
he heard the robot voice call the number of his flight, and he almost ran to the door, handling his passport to the security guard and almost immediately going inside, taking his seat.
he immediately picked up his phone, clicking on the messenger app and opening his conversation with hyunjin.
love of my life, 18:30, 24/12/2020
are you on the plane already?
me, 18:30, 24/12/2020
yes
i can’t wait to see you
i miss you so much
love of my life, 18:31, 24/12/2020
i miss you too bub
it has been so long since i’ve kissed you
me, 18:33, 24/12/2020
i miss that feeling
sorry for not answering, the flight attendant was giving us the informations about the security procedures
the plane is about to take off
love of my life, 18:34, 24/12/2020
did you pay attention?
don’t die dummy, i need you in my life
me, 18:34, 24/12/2020
i will never leave you alone.
wait for me, i’ll be there in a few hours
—
jisung put his phone in airplane mode and put it in his pocket, his head was comfortably laid in the wall, he could feel himself falling asleep, the overwhelming feeling of the plane trembling and starting to fly. he shivered.
jisung opened one eye and looked outside. the sky was cloudy and it was raining. he closed his eyes again, praying for something he didn’t even know.
—
jisung opened his eyes, startled, hearing screams and the panic in the small space. when he looked at the small window he saw land. he’s in an airplane, why is he seeing land?
the boy looked around him, beside him was a little girl, she looked at him and painfully said
“i don’t want to die hyung”
and
suddenly
he didn’t feel anything.
—
hyunjin was fine.
he was fine the day his boyfriend didn’t show up when he was supposed to.
he was fine the day he turned his tv on and saw that an airplane accident happened
he was fine the day he discovered that that was jisung’s plane.
he was fine when he discovered his boyfriend was dead.
after all, why wouldn’t he be?
he was defintely fine when chan suggested that stray kids should be on hiatus for some time
he said he was fine when the other members asked him how he was doing.
but he wasn’t fine when he would go back to their home. his eyes immediately looking at the pictures he had with him, his eyes landing on the bed they used to share.
he wasn’t fine when all he could do in their appartment was stare, he couldn’t even touch anything. he couldn’t sleep.
every night was restless, he would stare at his phone, reading the last message he had sent to him.
suddenly he heard the bell ring. he walked towards the door, almost tripping, the side effects of not sleeping were really affecting him.
“chan?” hyunjin managed to mumble, looking at the other’s worried face
“hyunjin! what are you doing with yourself? you have to go out, you have to breath some air, this is not making you feel bet-“
“stop” hyunjin shouted. “you don’t know how bad it hurts. you don’t know how bad i feel. i wanted to blame him for lying to me. but i can’t. you don’t understand hyung, it’s all my fault, all of this is because of me. i can’t even breath, the memory of him is always hitting me hard, i can’t even blink because whenever it’s pitch black, i feel his hot breath in my neck, i feel his arms around me. hyung i’m broken, i can’t think properly, i miss him” a single tear fell from his pained eyes, an explosion of feelings was drowning hyunjin.
through all these weeks he wasn’t able to feel anything. he wasn’t able to express how he was suffering.
chan looked at him with a surprised look on his face, hyunjin could see the tears forming in his eyes. he felt chan’s arms around him
“hyung i can’t anymore. please let me go” hyunjin whispered, head in the others neck, his crying was desesperate.
chan knew what he was talking about. chan knew that it was for the best. chan knew that this couldn’t be healed. there’s only one soulmate in this world for us. and the most heartbreaking thing is letting them go.
chan got out of the embrace and looked at hyunjin, trying his best to stop crying.
“he’s waiting for you”
hyunjin closed the door, and walked through the house, grabbing a picture of him and jisung, one that they took in their first year anniversary. he dropped it in the ground, watching the glass shatter, and then he picked up one of the pieces, making a small cut on his lips.
“i’m coming for you my love”