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Since it’s a warm and sunny morning Hitoshi decides to walk around the town to enjoy the beautiful summer day. He lived there, many years ago, and it’s amazing how much the things had changed while he stays as always less the haircut. He is thinking about lunch when sees one of the old buildings still intact although it has been transformed into a new library. He can see the books in the display far away.
The ad in the door reads: Read with us! One story every day at 12:00 pm during summer and a puppet show after lunch. It’s the image in the ad that calls him; two suns interlock –one yellow, one purple– making a half-white moon in the center.
The library is small and quiet, but as soon as he enters, he can hear the voice of someone reading aloud.
“...and then the gods decided their punishment. They extinguished the flame of one of the suns turning him into an immortal body while the other was left to consume himself in his own light; they were condemned to chase themselves to eternity. So, now they roam in the sky to meet and share brief moments of happiness.”
He follows the voice ignoring the woman that tries to offer him help. There is a group of children sitting in the floor hearing in silence at the gorgeous man with an enormous wizard hat that reads: The Storyteller, and as soon as the narrator's voice shut down a small hand rises.
"Does that mean the lovers never see each other again?" The little girl asked, hugging her plushie –a small rabbit–.
"They do," replied a boy
"But only for a short time," added another "in the end, they part away again."
"All couples break up eventually," said another, spinning his car toy’s wheels, "don’t they, sir?"
All the little faces turned to the storyteller, who is holding the book in his lap. “Well,” he says “it’s true that not all couples manage to survive time, however, it’s also true that even if they break up, their love is real as long as they share it regardless the time they are together because the memory lives in them.”
"But what if they forget? We all forget things.”
"Time usually does that, but memory is not only in our heads. There is the memory of the body and memory of the soul. And even if we forgot completely doesn't mean that the love shared is less rewarding. Now come on, it's lunchtime”
The quietness was broke as soon as the man spoke, and all the children stood up to take their lunches from the shelves next to the wall. They return to their places to eat watched by another attendant while the gorgeous man with the storyteller’s hat stepped aside to put the book on its shelf.
"Nice story," said Hitoshi, sitting in one of the small tables near the window.
"Hey," was the cheerful answer while the man leaned against the shelf, "do you like children's books?"
"Only the ones I write"
The statement made him smile. A smile that brightens his golden eyes. "Did you write it?" He asked, brushing his blonde bangs away from his beautiful face.
Hitoshi’s answer was to put a card on the table pointing to the seat on the other side of the table. Taking his hat off, the storyteller sit in front of him while the white card twirled between his small fingers.
“Hitoshi Shinsou? Wow, Is that really you?”
“That’s what the card says”
“Yes, well, I could get one that says I'm the president”
Hitoshi laughed. “You could, but it would be unbelievable”
“Less believable than being the author of a handful of books that enters in a random library to hear how they read the only children's story he has written. I don’t think so”
“The truth is that when I step in, I didn't expect to hear you read my story. Fate can be surprising sometimes”
“Is that so?... then tell me, Mister Shinsou-”
“Hitoshi is fine.”
“Okay then, Hitoshi, what brings you to this library in this small town? You live in Tokyo, don’t you?”
“I don't really have a permanent address because I like to travel. My agent is there while I roam the world, going wherever the wind takes me.”
“And the wind brought you here?”
“Why is it so surprising? I like bookstores and libraries alike, and this one seemed interesting. I saw the ad about your summer activities at the door, the image of the two suns caught my attention so I entered. I was here when you finished your story. As you see everything is a succession of coincidences.”
"Amazing coincidences."
"Coincidences nonetheless."
“Well, in that case, I'll leave you to finish your reading”
“I've finished it” and he pushed the book in the table “I was only here waiting until you finish to tell you that I really liked hearing you read my story”
“It's your story, of course, you must like it.”
“I would have liked to hear you read anything.”
“You can't know that.”
“I do. The same way I know I'd like to wait until your shift is over to take you out to dinner, Denki.”
“How do you know my name?” asked Denki, frowning. His posture had stiffened.
“Why shouldn't I? You work here with people who know you. Maybe I talked to one of them and asked about the person who was reading.”
“Did you ask about me?”
“Maybe. Maybe not. Maybe I knew your name as soon as I saw you. Maybe I just guessed it and it was all just a coincidence.”
“The way you talk is… curious.”
“Thanks, I've spent a lot of time working on it. So, what about dinner?”
“I usually don't go out with strangers.”
“We can't know each other if you don't let us. I have told you my name, I know yours, that is the first step. Knowledge must start at some point.”
“I'm not sure you are who you say you are.”
“I am Hitoshi, don’t doubt about that, and you are Denki. That is all we need to know. The rest we will learn at dinner. Today, if possible, or tomorrow if you want.”
“You are a very straight forward person and someone who seems in hurry”
He smiled. “I’ve learned that time is finite.”
Denki tilted his head and looked at him curiously, studying his face calmly as if trying to reveal a secret. “You look like someone I knew,” he said, and Hitoshi propped his elbows on the table to lean forward. He was no longer smiling and his expression bordered melancholy.
“That is enough for me.”
The call from the children after finished their lunch ended the conversation, Denki hurriedly said goodbye to return with them while Hitoshi stayed behind watching him work. On the table was the book Denki had read, its cover had the same picture that the ad: Two circles interlock –one bright yellow and the other faint violet– with a half-white moon in the center. The title "A Tale of Two Suns" was written below in crooked and striking letters.
Hitoshi put the book away before picking his phone. Twelve hours later, after his dinner with Denki, he had found an apartment for rent then he sent a message to his editor about an undefined hiatus in his next work. It took him two months to convince Denki to live together and almost a year to get married.
“You're always in a hurry,” Denki had said after –finally– accepting his proposal.
“It is time that never stops moving forward.”
On that occasion, they were happy for twelve years, the second-longest meeting in their history. Until the accident, and then it all started again.
The funeral was an early Thursday and it was raining. A handful of black umbrellas clustered around the grave and the priest repeated the usual litany with a few additions that made it seem original. Almost everyone was crying, Hitoshi was the only one who did not carry an umbrella and his tears mixed with the raindrops. There were many claps, many sorry, many expressions of support. He ignored them all. He left that same day and did not look back. He didn’t write again either.
Seventeen hours later his car fell off a bridge and the newspaper wrote the story of the grieving husband –a famous writer– who had drowned hours after the death of his lover. Hitoshi didn’t read the news because at the time of its publication he had already moved away from the fast-flowing river. He had no shoes, no wallet, no money –he didn't have Denki either– but he was accustomed to all of that. Not having Denki though because that was a loss he could never forget.
However, he knew that all he had to do was keep going. Walking forward until he finds him again.
On one occasion it was his laughter that made him look as he crossed the hallways towards the OR. It was impossible to forget that laugh, an energetic sound that resonated within him with the same force as the first time –and every time–. Then he saw the blond hair with the dark lock and knew he had found him.
The hospital gown he was wearing emphasizing his fragile appearance, yet Denki was laughing. As Hitoshi approached, he discovered that he had found him too soon because he was barely a teenager; after reading his file he understands why fate had acted in that way. From that day on, Hitoshi began visiting the East Wing during his breaks, sitting down to read while listening to his laugh; until one day, Denki made him approach.
“What are you reading?” He asked when Hitoshi took a seat by his bed
“A book”
“I can see that… What is it about?”
“The story of two lovers who are condemned to share brief moments over time”
“Ew, I don't like romance”
“I'm not a fan either”
“Then why are you reading it?”
“Because it helps me to remember that regardless of the pain, it's worth keep going.”
“You sound like a girl in love. My sister talks like that. Surely the author of your book is also the same.”
“Actually, the book was written by a boy.”
“Seriously?”
“Yes. His name was Hitoshi Shinsou. He was the author of a handful of books and a children's story. This novel is based on the last one. He wrote them for his lover and for himself so he could remember the happiness they shared once, and the promise for a future”
“...mmm. His name sounds familiar to me.”
Hitoshi smile at him. “I know”
On that occasion, Denki stayed with him for six months, and on the day of the funeral, Hitoshi decided to quit medicine.
He roamed into the world for years and when he returned, the first thing he saw was the picture of a man laughing with his head back, displaying a gooseneck and a tempting collarbone while announcing a famous mark of shoes. The image had begun to be exhibited in March of that year in almost all the skyscrapers, then he knew that Denki had returned. He met him a month later while working at a convenience store, the only one in miles around. Fate had brought him there and Hitoshi was waiting.
"It-is-hot!!"
The voice made him look at the door. Denki was wearing a white T-shirt, dark jeans, and sunglasses. Sweat trickled down his neck to his collarbones, the same ones that Hitoshi had seen magnified all over the city and that years ago he had run countless times with his fingers.
“You have sent me to the ass of the world, Eiji!” Denki said holding the cell phone to his ear, speaking so loudly that he could be heard from the other side of the store. “I'm in the ass of the world. Do not laugh. I followed your fucking instructions and ended up on a dirt road where there isn’t air conditioning. What? No. I'm in a damn store. How am I supposed to know? Don't fuck with me, it's your fault. Because I need gas! No, impossible, I'm not going to get there today. I know it’s your wedding, damn it! why do you think I am making this journey to reach your fiancé’s little town. Okay, okay, I'll be there, but do you know that you're responsible if the police stop me, ok? All right. I will send you a message as soon as I can. Yes, bye. How much is it?”
“Nothing if you let me take you out for a dinner," said Hitoshi, pushing the energy drink, cigarettes, and candies in Denki’s direction.
Denki’s answer is a heavy silence until he throws his head back and laughs aloud and with such vibrant energy that Hitoshi feels it in his blood.
“That was clever, I admit, but I'm sorry, man, I don't go out with boys.”
“I'm not a boy, and I'm not asking you to go out with me. I'm asking you to let me take you out to dinner.”
“Like on a date?”
“Like dinner.”
Denki had studied him, from top to bottom, with the same distrust of every encounter.
“I can have dinner on my own.”
“But you would miss my conversation.”
“I'm not sure that conversation is that interesting.”
“You won't know that if you don't have dinner with me, Denki.”
“Oh, so you know my name. Who are you? A fan?”
“My name is Hitoshi”
“I once knew a Hitoshi.”
“Yes? When was that?”
Denki opened his mouth, closed it, and looked confused.
“Let's have dinner, Denki. Let me make you happy”
Another inspection, longer than the previous one with the same amount of suspicion.
“Well, you don't look like a murderer, but that's always the problem, isn't it? Those who seem harmless are always the most troublesome.”
“Have dinner with me, Denki,” Hitoshi repeated.
“Sorry, buddy, it's not my thing.”
“It was”
Denki took his things, put a bill on the counter and left without looking back. Hitoshi sighed, then he proceeded to clean the counter, sweep the store, and finally closed the books. By the time Denki returned, he was waiting for him with his book in hand and his civil clothes.
“Damn!” Denki said bursting through the door with a confused expression “Damn!” He repeated as he stopped in front of Hitoshi, “I'm going to a wedding, do you want to come?”
“Of course.”
Five years later, the world grieved at the news of a commercial airplane’s downfall where a famous model was traveling. The newspapers made extensive articles showing his face and the T.V stations keep repeating his name from months. Hitoshi left the house they had shared taking only one photo as the one he had before was so worn out that it was illegible.
"I don't want to forget, my love. I don't want to forget.”
“I will remember for both. That must be enough.”
Hitoshi left his seat when the surviving lover's solo arrived. He had seen the play a dozen times and could never bear the heartbreaking monologue filled with blind devotion presented by the actor. It was too corny, too personal. And the only guilty it was him, after all, it had been his sonnet; so, he went out for air to the private terrace of the theater waiting for the moment to join the crowd again.
“Did you go out to the bathroom?” A voice asked and Hitoshi turned to find a round face with blond hair and golden eyes.
“No, I came here to find you.”
Denki had laughed. “Flirting isn't your thing, buddy, but no, really, do you know where the bathroom is?”
“I'll take you,” Hitoshi offered and walked him up the stairs to the first-floor toilets.
“You didn't have to wait for me,” Denki said smoothing out the wrinkles on his suit.
“I didn't have to, but I want to. Do you want to go out for dinner?”
“Hum? Don’t you want to get back at the play?”
“I've seen her before. And something tells me that you don't want to go back inside.”
“Not really… I mean, I did plan to go back, but I was going to wait here for a bit.”
“Why?”
“It's too sad, too... no, forget it, it doesn't matter. My name is Denki, what is yours?”
“Hitoshi. Hitoshi Shinsou”
“Oh, like the author, right?”
“That's what everybody says, although is a simple coincidence. Have you read his book?”
“I tried, but I couldn’t… it was like… it’s too personal… to heartbreaking… ugh, forget it. In general, I think the world is wrong to consider it a love story. It should be listed as a tragedy. The author was clearly wrong at that.”
“Do you think so?”
“Don’t you? Just listen to the plot. One condemned to an immortal life full of memories and the other to a short life with no memories of his punishment. What kind of love is that?”
“One that exists in the present and no matter how short or long is shared fills you and keeps you alive during long absences. It is an undying love.”
“But one of them dies.”
“Every human is doomed to die. Every love is condemned to death. You cannot think of the end when you are beginning, you cannot savor the present if you fear the future. The lover dies, yes, maybe the love dies with him a little bit but then it begins again. It grows like a new fresh leave”
“Are you saying you could spend a hundred years looking for a person knowing that you will lose them anyway?”
“Of course, because a hundred years is nothing compared to the seconds of having them with me. And now, let's not waste any more time, are you ready to go out for dinner?”
Denki had laughed. He did it with his head back, displaying his gooseneck. “What's the rush?” He asked
“It is time that never stops moving forward.”
“I think I've heard that before.”
“I know,” and as he said it, Hitoshi offered him his arm, which Denki held after a moment of doubt. And together they went out.
One time he found Denki crying in his hospital bed. He was hugging a pillow, lying behind the curtains, rocking back and forth with the face red and his nose running. An image so sad that Hitoshi’s heart shrunk.
“Honey,” he says taking him in his arms where his lover clung at him as if he was dying –which he was– “Are you in pain?”
“No”
“Do you need anything?”
“No”
“Do I need to call the nurses?”
“No”
“What happened then?”
“I can’t” was the whisper in Denki’s lips, a breaking sound so weak that it had been lost it if he didn’t have his cheek against Denki’s “I just can’t”
“What is it, Denki?”
“I can’t… I can’t remember”
“About what?”
“I don’t know. I just… is like… like… something was taken from me… It’s like… I don’t know… I don’t know… I’m sorry!”
Hitoshi hugged him tightly. His hand rubbed Denki’s back in small circles, spreading littles kiss in his hair, mumbling sweet things to calm him down. He even sang a lullaby until Denki run out of tears and stood still in his arms, tired and hurt.
“I’m sorry,” he said one more time “I’m sorry for being sick”
“Don’t be, my love. It’s not your fault”
“I’m sorry for leaving you. I’m sorry for not… for not… I just can’t remember!”
“No, Denki, no. This is only an echo of something you don’t have to think about it. It’s the memory of a soul who wants to be remembered”
“I don’t… what?”
“I love you. I will always love you, that is the only thing you need to remember. My heart and my soul will always be yours so don’t be afraid because I’ll always found you. I’ll always take you to dinner so your body can remember our tradition. I’ll always look for you wherever you are”
“No” cried Denki again latching at him as if he was afraid of disappearing “No… I just… I can’t… I don’t want you to be alone”
“Why?”
“Because… because… you will forget how much I love you. You will… you will doubt… maybe you… I don’t know… I can’t… you will suffer… what if you forget me?”
“That won’t happen”
“You don’t know that. Everybody forgets if the pain is too much is better to forget”
Hitoshi rocked him in his arms. “Then I will write a reminder,” he said “I will write a story about our love and the promises we made to each other. I will write you a sonnet of my love and all the things I would do for you. I will write you a children's book because I know you like them.”
“How will I read them if I’m dead?”
“Those books will survive time; they will be with me as I go forward in this world helping me to ease the uncertainty during the long wait and they will talk to you even if you don’t understand them soothing your pain while I'm not there to love you”
“I don’t want to leave you!”
“You never do because even when you are not with me you always live in me”
“Hitoshi... I don't understand. I just... I’m sorry”
“Don’t be afraid, Denki. This is not the end”
“Are you sure?”
“The only thing in this world that I can be sure of is the love we have for each other.”
Denki hugged him, resting his head against Hitoshi’s neck while the latter started to sing for him. They stay like that for hours until Denki’s breath stopped at all, and even then Hitoshi kept going till the nurses came in the morning. In that life they were together for almost forty years –the longest to this day–, it wasn’t the first and wouldn’t be the last.
[…]
“Love is the emblem of eternity: It confuses the notion of time; erase all memory of a beginning, all fear of an end” Germaine De Staël