Chapter Text
The first time he passed out he had just gotten back to Kamar-Taj after defeating Dormammu. He stepped through the portal and promptly passed out on the bed in his room. The second time came with a muscle deep pain in his left knee and aches throughout his entire body. He woke up in his study with a cup of tea right by his trembling hands. The third time he decided he should probably schedule some kind of appointment to figure out what was wrong. It wasn't magical in any case that he could find. His entire body just hurt constantly and most times he had to rely on the Cloak to get even get out of bed. It wasn't just his hands that hurt nowadays, it was his shoulders and elbows and knees and feet; it was pretty much everything.
Christine had introduced him to a good set of doctors but it still took close to a year to determine what was actually wrong with him. He had pushed his body too much and now it didn't know how to cope. Fibromyalgia, that's what he was "diagnosed" with. In short terms it was overall muscle pain and tenderness. His body basically said 'fuck you' to him. He was left to deal and figure out which medication to take to help what while also dealing with the side-effects of those medicines. Several had helped for a short term before the effects built to be more than he could handle. Then his doctors switched him to something else. For two years he tried to find a combination that both worked and didn't hinder him too much. He finally had somewhat stable concoction that not only included regular medication, but he found that marijuana actually helped more than the pain pills most of the time. It was a struggle to convince himself he needed it. The plant tended to muddle his thoughts when he was in college but the pros of it taking away his pain out-weighed the cons. His stable "medications" could only help so much when a space Titan was threatening the entire universe, though.
When Banner crashed through the roof of the Sanctum Stephen was having a good day. His muscles didn't hurt, his hands didn't tremble, and he could walk on his own. He had take his medicine and smoked more than he used too before deciding on what to do for lunch. Most days he hardly ate but he actually felt somewhat hungry that afternoon. It was ruined, of course. Everything was post-poned to deal with this new threat.
He blocked his pain as much as he could to help in fighting the Maw but he was quite upset when he passed out. Waking up surrounded by little glass needles was not exciting in the least. They hurt so goddamned much. Each entry point burned tenfold to what it probably should have; but his body no longer knows how to process pain properly. He's pretty sure he passed out when the hole was blown in the side of the ship. But then he was being bitchy because of the pain and allowing Cloak to really hold him up. His body hurt and he was too hot but there was nothing he could do except push through it. Because if he didn't then no doubt everything was lost.
The crashing of the ship jarred him and then the grenade did nothing to help him. It took him longer than it should have to join the fight. He limped up with his shields ready when Cloak was back and holding him up again. Then he was outside and forcing his body to work. It hurt so fucking much, but he'd be damned if he stopped looking for a win.
And he found two. One that ended in Tony Stark's death and one that didn't. Both required his sacrifice of the Time Stone but the rest relied on Stark. He didn't share what he knew had to happen or else Stark would try to stop him, so he let Quill make a plan for them all. It was absolutely terrible but worked somewhat. It hurt and Cloak was doing most of the movement for both of them, but they got through it.
They had Thanos pinned down and so close to getting the gauntlet, but Stephen knew that that wasn't how it was supposed to go. Thanos bested them. A moon was brought down on Stark and Stephen forced himself to go toe-to-toe with the Titan. He had no hope of winning. When he passed out it was a long time coming. But he was awake again in time to bargain away the Stone for Stark's life. He was about ready to pass out again during the time they just waited for the end to come. It came sooner rather than later.
Then he was whole again in the dust of the ruined planet. In so much pain that he nearly forgot what he was doing and what he still had to do. The portal was made down to Earth and he was nearly in tears from how much his body hurt. He ignored it and pushed on to continue fighting. And fight is what he did. Holding back a tidal wave of water so it didn't flood the battle field wasn't as painful as the rest of the fight. Practically sending Stark to his death was, though. A single trembling finger held up in answer to unasked question and Stark had the Stones. By sheer fucking luck Stephen was able to put up a wall to stop the water in time to seal Stark's injuries. The amount of magic and energy it took to coat the man's entire body and stabilize his organs long enough to get him proper medical attention was a nightmare. Wong was by his side as they moved Stark to a Wakandan hospital and helped him back to the Sanctum.
He slept for three straight days. Then he smoked the entire fourth next day and laid in bed. By day five or six he was finally able to go back to his sorcerer duties.
Five years was a lot to catch up on. Stephen spent quite a lot of time learning about all that happened to the world and their reality. There was so much to do that it took over his own problems. He worked and pushed himself to fix the mess of problems that had cropped up. His body forced him down more days than he liked but he wouldn't stop working unless he physically couldn't. More often than not that was case.
For some reason the universe had decided to hate him. Their reality was being threatened again and his body definitely wasn't having it.
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It had been half a year since the universe had been "saved". Tony had been in the hospital for three of those months and the next three were spent in physical therapy for his new arm. Then he had stumbled upon a cute little purple slug while in Central Park. It was so small and entirely harmless, until a couple sorcerers dressed way too much like Strange had been showed up. They opened a dimensional portal and dropped the slug through it like it happened every day. It was odd then slightly worrying as they went about removing almost a hundred more slugs of different sizes from the park.
When he asked what the hell they were, the sorcerers just pointed him in the direction of Greenwich Village. Where he knew a certain wizard lived. Needless to say he called Pepper and told her he probably wasn't going to be home for a few extra hours. Then he drove to the creepy old building on Bleeker street to get answers from a prickly bastard of a wizard.
Before he could even raise his hand to knock he appeared in the foyer of the building. Shaking off the unease at the squishy feeling of his insides, he looked for Strange; only to find Wong standing there.
"Hey, Wong." Tony glanced around the foyer and up the stairs. "Where is he? I'm not exactly here on a visit."
"Sleeping." That was a little odd. It was well past noon and probably closer to three or four in the afternoon. Why the hell was Strange still asleep?
"Well, wake his magical ass up. We've got some magic problems to take care of. A couple of your sorcerer buddies pointed me in this direction." Nothing changed in Wong's expression at the words.
"Strange is having a bad day. I cannot guarantee that he will be down shortly."
"Just get him down here." Tony moved to sit down on the couch that he had on his first and only visit to wait. And wait he did. For almost half an hour he sat on the couch looking through his phone before he heard footsteps. He looked up to find Strange coming from the opposite hall looking like hell warmed over. Gone was the arrogant air that the man had exuded on their first meeting. His face wasn't shaved and his hair definitely wasn't brushed. Stubble covered his jaw and his black hair was messy. Not to mention that he was in sweat pants and t-shirt that seemed to swallow his body whole. And the fact that the living Cloak was wrapped around his shoulders and the edges wound around his wrists as if to steady the heavy tremor in Strange's hands. Then there was the prominent limp the man had.
"Jesus, Strange. You like terrible." The man only squinted at him and moved to sit down next to him on the couch. He sighed heavily and leaned his head against the wall behind them.
"I know." Tony waited for him to carrying with a witty or snarky comeback, but nothing came. Then Wong was coming towards them with a cup of something and a pill box. Strange lifted his head enough to meet the other sorcerer's gaze.
"I know for a fact you forgot to take them this morning." The Cloak unwound itself from one wrist to take the cup while Strange held out a hand for casing. Tony watched wordlessly as Strange opened the little lid that had a 'w' on it and poured the three pills into his trembling hand. He took them all at once and washed them down with a drink from the cup.
"Do I have any Adderall left? This is a day for it if I do." Tony lifted an eyebrow at the mention of the drug.
"No. Your prescription ran out a week ago." And with that Wong disappeared back into the building, leaving the two men sitting in silence. Tony watched for a few moments to determine what exactly to ask about first but Strange beat him to it.
"What'd you need, again? I wasn't really listening when Wong woke me up." Strange turned to him and ran a hand through his hair to try and settle the strands. There was a mild concern building in Tony at what was wrong with the man. The last time he had seen someone take that many pills and then ask for more was when his mother was in the hospital for a broken leg. And that was almost a life-time ago. "Wipe that concern off your face, Stark. I needed to get up anyway. I slept through my alarms this morning and my afternoon ones."
"Why were sleeping for so long anyway? And what was with the drug dealer amount of pills you just took?" Now he wasn't normally this nosy, but he was really kinda worried about the man. Strange stopped trying to smooth out his hair and dropped his trembling hand back to his lap for the Cloak to wrap around again. There was a defensive look building in his eyes at the questions. "If you don't want to tell me then don't. I'm just wondering why you're in pain." It was easy to see in the man's movements. Everything he did was trying to lessen some kind of pain somewhere in his body.
"Nothing that has to do with you." Strange leaned back on the couch again but continued to watch Tony. "But I've been dealing with it for a while now, so don't bother trying to pity me."
"I wasn't going to, but thanks for the tip." Tony paused for a moment before deciding to get into what he originally came there for. "Your wizard buddies dropped a load of purple slugs through a portal in Central Park. They wouldn't say anything and just sent me here for answers. So, answers, I want them." Strange seemed to think for a moment then a look of worry crossed his face.
"Were the slugs doing anything? Like trying to eat you or anyone else?"
"Uh, no? I mean the slug I found was barely the size of my fingernail. So if was trying to eat me, I guess I wouldn't notice." Tony was definitely confused now. Why would slugs try to eat him? Strange scooted further away from him on the couch and brought his legs up underneath his body. "What're you doing?"
"Opening my third eye. It's the only way to really see the magical properties of this realm. If there were enough slugs to be physically seen then there are no doubt several hundred feeding off the Sanctum's magic energy." His eyes fell shut and even his hands fell still. Tony tried to process the fact that there more of these slugs and the fact that they ate magic. "Oh don't even bother getting concerned or whatever. They are not generally malevolent. They feed off excess energy in their dimension, they won't hurt anyone." Yeah, that didn't really ease anything.
For a few painstaking minutes they sat in silence. Then Strange opened his eyes and Tony noticed exactly nothing different except for how bright blue they were. Not the normal greenish tint that they had but startlingly blue. He was about to ask about it when Strange got up from the couch. And nearly fell back down as his knees gave out from under him. Tony leaped forward to catch him just as the Cloak flared out. Strange waved him off and started limping for the front door. The entire foyer shifted around Tony until he was standing next to Strange outside on the sidewalk.
"Oh." Concern and worry flared on Strange's face. He lifted a hand and a slug the size of his palm came into existence on his skin. It was latched on his skin and rippling between purple and black and white. "They're starving."
"And you're just letting it eat you?" Strange looked over at him with a frown in place. Not at him but at something bigger.
"It's feeding off my magical energy." He lifted his other hand and Tony found two more little slugs on the back of it. "Let's get back inside before they decide that I'm not enough for them." And like how he appeared outside he was back in the foyer. Strange brought his hands together and a bright orange glow started in his palms that grew to fill the entire foyer. Tony shielded his eyes from the light when a shock wave knocked him back a few feet.
"What the hell was that?" He dropped his arm to find Strange sitting on the couch again. The little slugs on his arms were all the ground but Tony could just pick out them shifting around.
"I gave them all the magic they needed and more. It put them in a food coma, I guess you would call it. They should be fine as long as we get them back to where they came from." It was like a call and had Wong coming down the stairs. Strange got to his feet again and moved to join them in the middle of the foyer. "Een'Gawori slugs and they're starving. Where do they come from again?"
"Fandazar Foo. There's more magic there than in Manhattan, they shouldn't be here." Wong slipped on a ring after his words. Tony was teeming with questions but could tell that now wasn't the time to ask them. Something was obviously happening that was bigger than he thought. "Nor starving. It's the nexus point between dimensions; the world is over flowing with magic." A portal was being made in the middle of the foyer as Wong spoke. Tony stepped back as a world covered in ash and burned to the ground appeared. Smoke floated in the air along with a sharp tang like tasting too much spice in a food that hit Tony's nose. That feeling that comes with a distinct burn on your tongue and the back of your throat smothered his sense of smell.
"Slugs did that?" He asked before he could stop himself. Strange and Wong stepped through the portal and Tony followed cautiously.
"No, the slugs loved it here and they are not capable of doing destruction like this." Strange crouched down as best he could and dug his hand into the ash covered ground. "Magic practically grew here, but now it's all burned away."
Tony surveyed the burnt and ash strewn land around him. Odd trees were nothing more than corpses in the still breeze and if there was grass it was covered by the white ash. It was a sad sight to see. Wong stepped around Strange towards a copse of burnt tree trunks. It drew Tony's attention. Lined and strung up were charred bodies of once people.
"Don't tell me those are what I think they are?" Tony didn't move any closer towards the corpses. His question had Strange struggling to his feet and moving towards the bodies.
"Wong, who are those people?" Wong was by the bodies and slowly letting them down from their posts.
"Sorcerers Supreme from other dimensions. Magister Miracle from the 18th dimension. Zelaltrix Lavey of the Lower Aether. The Lords of Wyrd from beyond the Purple Veil." With each name and title said a body was lowered to the ground. Tony moved to help Wong get the rest down since Strange obviously didn't have the strength to do so at the moment. "This was an execution."
"What has the power to execute the most powerful sorcerers known to man?" Strange asked. Tony straightened up and noticed the man conjuring a few shovels. They weren't going to leave until these people buried like they deserved.
"I don't know. But whatever it is, we need to find it before it finds us." Wong got his feet as well and took a shovel. They had a lot of digging to do.
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Stephen hurt. He could hardly walk back through the portal into their dimension after digging graves for hours. The day was already a bad one and it had gone from worse to worst in a span of hours. And while he knew he was going to be sleeping for several hours after this, there was too much research to do to even think about sleeping. They had to figure out what could cause the destruction of magic on such a large scale. Then they had to figure out how many worlds and dimensions have already been hit and when it was going to reach them. He was thankful that Wong had ordered a few other sorcerers to place the slugs into another magic filled dimension that have no lasting consequences. The slugs needed a new home that could sustain them and he just didn't have the energy to deal with them himself.
Cloak held him up when he nearly stumbled onto the stairs. His fingers cramped and pulsed with pain that had him curling them close to his chest. Behind him he could hear Wong move for the library on the first floor which left him to deal with Stark. The man had stayed and helped them burying the dead sorcerers without a word in actual complaint. Even with his prosthetic arm that had to be bothering him he had grabbed a shovel started digging a hole. Stephen didn't know how he could ever repay the man. Not just anyone would help in burying people they didn't know. Sure, he didn't know the sorcerers personally but it went against his principles to just leave the corpses.
"You need help doing your research thing? 'Cause I'm gonna be honest, you look like shit Merlin." Stephen sighed at the words and slowly turned around. Dirt was caked onto his tennis shoes and on his sweat pants and stuck under his finger nails. He did look like a right mess.
"No, Wong and I've got this. A magic problem doesn't concern you anymore. You're free to leave." He was tempted to just leave Stark there to avoid having to argue with the man. It was coming if the fire in the man's dark eyes was anything to go on.
"Not my problem? There's a threat more than likely closing in on Earth, I feel like that's my problem as well. Magic or not, whatever did that-" Tony waved to where the portal was once open, "is definitely a concern to everyone. That world was burned to a crisp."
"You don't know how to deal with magical threats. The best you could do is go through the libraries looking for something we're not even sure what it is." Stephen paused as his brain tried to catch up to his words. They didn't make much sense and weren't saying what he was thinking. It was frustrating beyond belief when his brain couldn't process or find the correct terms and words for what he wants to express. Whether it was a side-effect of the medicine or the disease itself, Stephen didn't know. "We don't know what we're looking for. There's nothing we can do right now unless we figure out what it is we're dealing with."
"Are you sure you're alright, Strange?" There was definitely concern on Stark's face now. Stephen sighed again and ran an aching hand through his hair.
"I need to rest, but we don't exactly have that luxury at the moment." And he really needed to smoke something to stem the pain. It had been well over twenty-four hours since the last time he had hit the pipe. It was currently still packed with a bowl from when he passed out the day before.
"Look, I'll do the research for now with Wong while you get some rest then. Right now I don't think you're much help," Stark said. Stephen wanted to glare at him and argue, but he knew he was right. He wasn't much help at the moment. No matter how much he wanted to work and research and find the answer, he physically couldn't at the moment. Anger started to burn in his chest that he pushed down. He could hate himself and his body later there was stuff to be done.
"Fine. Wong's in the first floor library, I'm going to start on the second floor when I can." He turned away from the stairs and moved for the hall off to the left. His bedroom and Wong's were down this hall that held where the kitchen had originally been, most likely. "Kitchen is around here somewhere. It tends to move around." It was a hassle to deal with but he didn't really eat anything unless Wong forced him to.
"I'll try to remember that." Stark's voice followed him down the hall for a little ways. He went for his room and practically face planted into the pillows. Cloak wiggled around underneath his body but he only rolled over enough to allow it free. He was so damn tired. But he couldn't sleep yet, not with work having to be done. So he forced his body up and reached for the glass pipe sitting on the nightstand. He absolutely hated smoking and how much his body needed it to function even somewhat properly. It was kinda of depressing actually, but he sucked it up. This was his life now and had been for a couple years now.
Half an hour later with a change of clothes in the middle and he was limping into the second floor library. Well, Cloak was helping him along. He could hear Stark flipping through pages the closer he got to the little nook area in the middle of the library. It was a sitting area with a couple chairs and a table. He dropped down in the red chair and waved a hand to pull a few books that could useful off their shelves and to him. The noise had Stark looking up from the thick book sitting in his lap.
"Damn, you smell like you just finished hanging out with Cheech and Chong." Stephen glared at the man as several books settled on the table. Cloak pulled one into his lap before settling back down around his shoulders. Instead of answering he opened the cover and started reading what was on the pages. "Does it help? With whatever is wrong with you?"
"Yes." It was quiet for a few more minutes. The sound of turning pages was the only one to fill the library for a while. Stephen could feel the questions that Stark was holding back but he wasn't going to open up without prompt.
"What exactly is wrong with you, if I may ask? When did it start? You didn't seem this run down before Thanos came." He could hear how Stark's voice caught on the Titan's name. That had been almost six years for Stark and only six months for himself.
"It started in 2016. So yes, I was dealing with it when Thanos came." Those hours had hurt so much more than he did now. He heard Stark shift in his chair but didn't look up from his book. "Fibromyalgia, if you must know. And no, there isn't a cure. I just have to deal with it."
"How often are you in pain? And what type of pain is it exactly?" Stephen tried not to sigh at the questions. He knew they were coming, so he didn't really have the right to act upset at them.
"Everyday, but some days are worse than others. Today for example is one of the bad ones." His hands still trembled and his fingers seized up with every page turn. "It's muscle pain normally. My hands are the worst because of the accident but a lot of the time it's just my joints. Like arthritis times hundred." Silence fell over them again. Stephen carried on with his research in another book.
"What all do you take for it?" He finally looked up from his book to find Stark on his phone. No doubt looking up Fibromyalgia and everything that went with it. Stephen had done the same thing when he first learned of it, but now he just lived with it. When he didn't answer Stark looked up to find him watching. "Too intrusive?"
"No. I just didn't expect the question." He leaned back in the chair and watched Stark shut off his phone. "Citalopram, Pregabalin, and Tizanidine. Adderall on occasions when I can't stay awake." At the confusion on Stark's face, Stephen laughed. He didn't expect the man to know what those drugs treated. "Antidepressant, Anti-Seizure, and a Muscle Relaxant. I use the marijuana for the pain. Opioid painkillers tend to make it worse in the long run. And I've no doubt you know what Adderall is."
"Antidepressant? And seizures? Jesus Christ, Strange."
"It's not as bad as it sounds. Antidepressants help with the pain and sleeping problems, but I was put on Citalopram for the depression mostly. I was on Cymbalta, but it didn't exactly help. And the Anti-Seizure medication prevents the sensitive nerves from sending too many pain signals to my brain. I don't get seizures if that's your concern." He might have been over-sharing just a bit, but he honestly didn't care. If the man wanted to know then he could know. He was most likely going to look it all up anyway, better to get it from source first.
"And you've been on these for two and a half years?" He gave a nod. Almost that long, there was some learning to figure out at first. "Do you normally sleep as long as you did today?"
"No. I have alarms set for when I have to take my pills and I try to stay awake after that. But on a bad day or when the weather changes rapidly I tend to sleep for a while. Well over sixteen hours sometimes." That was probably the worst part. His body didn't know when to wake anymore or just how long it needed to sleep. When the weather abruptly changes is when it's the worst usually.
"Yikes, must really suck during Spring then." He didn't even know the half of it. For the past two Springs he had slept more of them than he had spent awake sadly. This season wasn't shaping up to be any better. Winter was just turning to Spring in Manhattan and he had already spent more time in bed then anywhere else.
"You take what ya can get in my case. I work when I can." Which was now. He went back to his book as a signal that the conversation was over.
For the next hour or so they went through several books in relative peace. Stephen was half way through a rather boring tome when he fell asleep.
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Tony looked up from the book in his lap at the sound of a book falling to the floor. Across from him Strange was sleeping and the book fell from his hands. The Cloak around his shoulders fluttered slightly but made no move to pick it up. He took the chance to study the man before him. The black hair was still disheveled and a few chunks curled over his forehead. His hands still trembled even in his sleep. But everything else about his being was relaxed and stress free. He didn't look to be in pain or anything of the sort thankfully. Tony couldn't help the sympathy for the man.
Strange had said he was in constant pain everyday. That he took three different pills for it and probably smoked more than a college stoner; Tony made that last part up, but damn if he hadn't smelt like it at least. Then there was the admission that he had depression. It was expected with what he had, but Tony still felt for him. And that Strange was dealing with this when they fought Thanos. The man had hidden his pain so well nobody had even gotten a glimpse at it. There was no doubt that he was in pain either. After learning what he had it came to him that Strange hadn't had any relief until he was dusted. Then he was brought back into the same pain only to fight again and help save his life. It definitely brought a new sense of respect for the man.
The ringing of his phone pulled him out of his thoughts. He grabbed the device from the table and answered it after checking that it was from Pepper.
"Hey, Pep. What're you still doing up? It's like three in the morning." He kept his voice down to avoid waking Strange, but got the feeling that the man could sleep through almost anything.
"When're you coming home? You said you'd be back by at least one." Oh, he had promised that hadn't he. He closed the book in his lap and set it down on the table.
"Yeah, yeah, sorry. I lost track of time. There's something, uh, happening I think. Something dangerous. I've been helping the wizards figure out what it is." He got to his feet and picked up the book from the ground. "I'll be home in a little bit. Leaving now." Well, he was going to help the Cloak get Strange into bed first. With his muscle pain already, sleeping in a chair couldn't help.
"Dangerous how? Like Thanos or worse?" There was a note of fear in Pepper's voice that she was trying to hide.
"Nothing like that, I think. We don't really know what it is yet. But it's targeting magic." He held the phone between him shoulder and ear while bending down to scoop Strange's body up. The man was far lighter than he should have been. It was a little worry inducing but he wasn't going to bring it up unless it got worse. There was no doubt he was going to be around to make sure it didn't get worse either; not with what was happening to magic.
"I think that's a pretty big part of the world, Tony." The Cloak sort of directed him down the stairs and down a hall to a cracked open door. Tony could already smell the weed smoke that clung to every inch of Strange.
"That's what I've figured out so far." Magic made quite a stance in this reality apparently. Down to the very essence of the planet according to one book. This world and realm was made up of both magical and physical energies that worked and fed on each other to keep everything running. Without one or the other things would get that much harder. "The wizards don't what was is coming, but we know that something it wiping out magic in other dimensions. And no doubt it'll be heading this way soon."
"How much do you think you'll be able to help with this threat? Magic isn't exactly your area." Her words weren't harsh for they were only the truth. Tony didn't work with magic, hated to have anything to do with it actually. But this situation called for more so he would have to push passed that barrier.
"As much as I can, Pep. Any help is better than none, I'm guessing." He glanced around the dark room as he entered it. The bed was messy and unmade but that was the only thing. A pipe, lighter, and pill box sat on the night stand next to the bed that Tony avoided getting near. There was nothing on the floor other than a pair of boots by the door. Overall it was very clean. He placed Strange down in the bed and grabbed the phone with one hand. "Alright, I'm heading out now. I'll be back soon."
"Okay, bye. Drive safe please."
"When am I not safe?" There was a pause as he pulled the covers over Strange's body and turned to the door. "Don't answer that." He gave a nod to the Cloak before closing the door softly behind him. "Bye, I love you."
"Love you too." The call was ended and the phone stuffed back in his pocket. Tony was tempted to let Wong know he was leaving but ultimately decided against it. He slipped out of the front door and moved towards his red Audi in the street. There was a lot think about on the way home.