Chapter Text
The smell of freshly cut grass is the first thing that lets Christen know she’s safe. The second is the familiar sound of the flagpole reacting to the soft winds at this time every night. The last clue she would usually receive is a soft and annoying pat to the head or stomach from an equally soft and annoying Kelley O’hara, attempting to bring Christen out of her regular post practice meditation sometimes turned slumber.
There’s what seems to be an endless list of ways to physically take care of your body after time on the pitch. Christen has always treated that with the utmost respect knowing if she neglects her duty to her body it will return the favor eventually.
There’s times she wonders how it is that her body can be on a strict regimen, treated as a temple and trained carefully and thoughtfully but her mind can be recklessly abandoned.
A pre game prayer and post game meditation can be the difference between a win and a loss for her, not only physically in the game but in the absolute minefield of her brain.
Knowing she did everything she could to be the best she could be in that moment is the best cure she could ever offer herself.
Although, she’d be lying if she said the exhausting drills they have been running the past two hours wasn’t the main culprit of her current state of consciousness.
“I think you finally killed her.” Ali loudly whispers standing above Christen’s limp body, attempting to grab hold of her arms to bring her up.
Christen allows herself to be helped up by her close friend with a soft chuckle soon followed by a deep groan.
“First of all the drills were her idea and secondly she was just doing her daily Buddha hangout.” Kelley says looking unbothered and thoroughly pleased with herself picking up the last of the equipment surrounding them.
“Can we order pizza when we get back?” Julie speaks half into the grass from where she is laying on her stomach closer to the sideline.
If Kelley’s aggressive mumbling was anything to go by, she’s willing to bet tonight isn’t ending with a hot slice of pizza.
—
When they get back to their shared complex, they agree to meet back on the field tomorrow at noon. Originally Kelley had pitched for much earlier but was quickly turned down unanimously being that tomorrow was Saturday.
Christen follows a grumpy Kelley back to their shared apartment for the past three school years and eventually catches up close enough to softly put a tired arm around her neck while walking.
“Kel, these extra practices before the season starts was meant to make us less stressed.”
Kelley uncomfortably shifts under the barely there weight Christen is offering and starts unlocking the door with her keys. When they get inside Christen doesn’t even expect a response anymore and starts putting their bags away in their hall closet.
“I’m sorry.” It’s said so softly Christen thinks whatever Kelley is feeling she’s probably never felt it before.
“It’s just, this is a lot of our teams last year to play maybe forever and for us it’s like, the start or end of our future that we want with scouts and the national team one day and it’s all just hitting me.”
For the first time in what Christen thinks is their entire friendship, she realizes Kelley is seeking what she usually offers to everyone else after a rough half or a loss that stings.
Kelley has never been one to look for strength or comfort in anyone else, always being the strong one. Always being the voice of reason, the person that will have you remembering how big the world is in relation to the problem you’re facing.
It’s this moment that Christen realizes Kelley may take on the whole world by herself before anybody else wakes up but she doesn’t always want to.
A small smile escapes Christen because she knows what’s coming. She knows the fight she’s about to endure and she knows it’s because Kelley is too stubborn for her own good but she also knows that she needs to win this battle. Needs to do this for her dearest friend since little league. Since tiny neon boots and chasing insects, before the stress of the game was ever introduced to them.
Kelley unfortunately notices the small slip up and has the chance to perceive it entirely wrong.
“It was stupid you’re right, I’m just going to sleep it off and I’ll be back to normal tomorrow.” She starts for her room but is softly grabbed by Christen luckily in time.
“No, that’s not it. That’s not it at all.” Christen hurries out.
“You’re worried about the season, we all are. Brookwall is scary and they’re our opening game and I know how much it means to you that we start the season off strong to give us the best chance to win it all this season, I know this rivalry is a lot for you.” Christen tethers Kelley the best she can with her hands softly on her forearms.
“You’re doing everything you can training wise, and we’re with you and when coach starts our regular practices soon, we’ll be crazy strong, Kel.” Kelley nods at this, her face still very pouty and tense.
Christen removes her right arm from Kelley’s to rub the pad of her thumb between her eyebrows in an attempt to relieve some of the tension. Kelley softens at this, letting a soft exhale leave her mouth and they stand there like that for a minute, Christen running her hands up and down Kelley’s arms in an attempt to comfort and relax her before her next request.
“So, do the only thing that’s left that you can do and relax with me, breathe and sit with me.” Christen softly requests.
Kelley looks like she’s about to nod and agree with her when she suddenly steps back with her mouth wide open in realization of what she’s asking of her.
“You want me to meditate with you?” And Christen laughs at the mere agony in her voice.
“I want you to come sit with me and just relax Kel, it doesn’t have to be anything you don’t want it to be.”
Kelley gives in easier than Christen originally thought, but she still had to bribe her with doing her English essay she has yet to start. The one that’s due Monday leaving Christen to wonder what she was going to do with it originally.
The night ends with Christen making them a soft sitting area on the living room floor facing the open apartment windows overlooking their quietly lit up city, breathing the fresh night air.
“You’ll be okay, I’ll win this alone for us if I have to.” Is the last thing said between them before they both fall asleep.
—
The sun is softly peeking out behind the clouds, fueling Christen for the training they were previously dreading. A nice breeze has the flags making more noise than usual today, giving the few players a much deserved reward.
The few friends gathered in a stretch circle now bringing them almost to the part where they can shower and fall into their couches for the day.
Kelley is currently back to her antics working on untying Mal’s shoe while Sammy is laid on top of her presumably so she can throw it across the field.
The group's quiet laughter is interrupted when they hear a deep voice from the bleachers.
“Hey, is Julie allowed to come out and play yet?” Zack asks playfully while standing on one of the benches with his hands over his mouth trying to project his voice as if they couldn’t hear him in the first place.
The group scoffs and chuckles and Julie puts her arms out signaling for her boyfriend to come and get her. “We’re finishing up here, do you want to stretch with us?” She asks and he smiles and agrees sweetly, sitting and giving her a kiss on the cheek.
“What’s all this extra practicing for again?” He asks curiously. Zack has always been one of the few boyfriends allowed to visit during practices, knowing he was respectful and always kind. Others distracting their girlfriends or being disruptive with friends, Zack was always different and Christen always took note of it. She also knows he doesn’t do many things just to do them, or ask them.
He’s asking this with a reason, whatever it may be. Probably getting an inkling of the anxiety some of the team exudes or maybe even his girlfriend. Maybe asking to offer advice after or maybe to hear other answers than Julie’s.
“Gearing up for the Brookwall game.” Kelley responds nonchalantly.
“Ah, the Clifford and Brookwall rivalry is still going.” Zack looks thoughtful at this, almost as if Julie hasn’t really mentioned it maybe at all.
“We’ve got them this season, Christen is our captain now and Kelley has been leading us through some of the best training I’ve ever been through.” Comes Julie’s soft input.
Zack smiles softly squeezing her knee in agreement. “I think you guys have it too, watching both of your training sessions honestly you guys are good, I haven’t seen Heath lead her team in all this extra stuff.”
At the mention of the other captain both Christen and Kelley noticeably tense up and make eye contact. While the rest of the girls took that as a compliment Christen only heard the “extra stuff” part. Zeroing in on the fact that she knows Tobin Heath doesn’t lead her team to do pre-season Saturday practices to perform for a game that she’ll probably excel in with barely any effort.
Brookwall has a team that’s built like a perfect robot and Christen has yet to understand why. There’s never been any word of strict schedules or rules within the team or a group vegan and steroid diet and yet they gel together perfectly on the pitch.
Christen has been at Clifford for three years with her closest friends, having the perfect opportunity for prime chemistry and they’re good, they’re really good. Yet, Brookwall is the one school they can’t seem to shake up. The rivalry has gone on long before Christen was ever at Clifford, hearing about it from Kelley’s older sister who played for the women’s soccer team as well.
Being the closest school from each other was of course part of it but the smugness that came from Brookwall was unmatched and it always drove the team to play as hard as they could towards them. Physically and strategically.
As the breeze takes Christen out of her current stupor she notices everyone start to get their stuff together. Kelley reaches out from where she’s stood in front of her and helps her onto her feet, smacking her on her butt as she walks by her and gets her own stuff.
Christen is quietly packing her stuff in Ali’s Jeep when she accidentally elbows Kelley in the gut and Kelley’s grunt earns a sharp laugh from the other girls walking to their own cars in the lot.
“Oh god, sorry Kel I didn’t see you.” Christen apologizes trying to sound more remorseful than she may actually be.
“Maybe because you’re always on a different planet.” Comes Kelley’s sarcastic reply rubbing her ribs softly.
Christen puts her hands out to offer Kelley a peace offering of putting her bag in the trunk for her when Kelley starts to let go of it and Christen let’s it drop with a grin.
“You know.” Kelley starts as she bends over and picks up her bag, “You’re not as nice as everyone thinks you are.” She says with a pout. Christen and Ali laugh while helping with the rest of the equipment.
Ali drops them off and gets out to help them with the practice equipment they got from Kelley’s car earlier, kindly helping bring it back.
“Why would Zack even know what they’re up to anyway?” Ali asks while picking up a few of the cones left.
Kelley looks at Ali confused not knowing what she’s referring to when her face starts to show realization she responds while closing her trunk.
“Oh, he has a lot of friends over there.”
Ali freezes at this.
And boy has Christen seen this face before. Ali has always been clever and one of the smartest people she’s ever met. She was always the first one to become adept to something the others are trying to figure out. Ali looks like she just solved world hunger and Christen is mildly concerned because of the question that sent her there.
“You look like you’re going to shit your pants, are you good?” Kelley asks half serious with her hands cautiously held up.
“What are we doing killing ourselves like this when Zack can just ask his friends there what they know about the team? Surely his friends have friends who play on the team. They have to know something. Maybe even just like-“
“What the hell are you even talking about?” Kelley interrupts like it’s the worst thing Ali has ever suggested. Which, to be fair may be true.
“What could we possibly even gain from knowing anything about their training when we know that’s not why they do so well, it’s their dynamic and it’s their schools money.”
“But what if it’s not?” Ali challenges fiercely.
“Look all I’m saying is even if we could sabotage their team dynamic a little before this game we can start this season off really well and they can start to crumble. What if there’s some juice there? What if one of them hooked up with another one's boyfriend or girlfriend or something? What if Heath is secretly sleeping with like 6 of them at the same time.”
Christen’s eyebrows have shot well above her hairline at this point. She looks to Kelley to try to understand if Ali was maybe hit with a ball today but is put in place by the look on Kelley’s face. Kelley looks like she’s trying to disprove the laws of gravity when Christen finally speaks up.
“You can’t seriously be thinking this is a good idea.” She asks exasperated.
“Think about it though Christen, there has to be something there. It would tear them apart for like at least one game, one scandal is all it takes.” Kelley is laughing frustratingly at this point like she can’t believe she’s never thought of it.
“You want to ruin their friendships for a game..”
Both Kelley and Ali look at her for this. Christen sinks into herself and realizes what she said didn’t exactly correlate with what she feels but it’s already too late and she knows it’s rubbed them both the wrong way. So she tries to save herself.
“I’m the captain of this team. I have a lot to prove this season and a lot is on the line for me. Nobody has more in this game than I do so you both better stop looking at me like that, this game is important to me, I just don’t know if it’s worth being a bad person, is that so horrible?” She softly says the last part trying to convey what she feels to her friends. These people should know her best and they’re looking at her as if she doesn’t care about them.
Kelley sighs out her frustration and looks up and Christen can physically see the stress radiating off of her.
The amount of pressure Christen feels right now is almost unbearable.
Ali visibly lets it go at Christen’s admission and slowly walks over to hug her.
“I know it’s important to you too, I’m sorry. Let’s just forget it” she says and to her credit she looks like she absolutely would do just that.
Ali says her goodbyes to both of them with kisses to their cheeks and a soft second apology in Christen’s right ear that she gladly accepts. Christen walks behind a frustrated Kelley again and this is becoming a habit and she hates it. She hates that her goofy friend has turned into a ball of stress and she just wants to fix it all for her. She just wants to make this year the year Kelley wants after everything she’s done for her.
Christen knows Kelley is under a lot of pressure. She knows that and even with this golden egg dangled in front of her today she knows that Kelley will still open the door and set her keys down and apologize and hug Christen and order her favorite pizza from her favorite place.
That’s who Kelley is and has always been, she’s never fought with her, she’s never been angry with her, and the closest they ever were, Kelley would always be the one to compromise before it ever got there. She’s her rock and Christen just wants to be the same for her now.
Kelley does set her keys down and she does softly apologize and then she laughs and starts talking about how ridiculous it was anyway and how she’s never letting soccer make her this stressed again. She hugs Christen and she lifts her up a little and squeezes her and wiggles her around making her laugh and then does something Christen never thought would happen.
She opens their windows and she sits on the window sill and she closes her eyes and Christen has never been so certain of anything as she is in this moment watching Kelley resort to meditation of her own free will.
Christen already has her phone out before she knows what she’s doing.
She’s texting Zack to call her later.
Christen is going to tear Brookwall apart.