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Nickname Game

Summary:

Bruce wakes up with a drug in his system and shenanigans ensue.

Notes:

(See the end of the work for notes.)

Work Text:

Jason was about to have lunch when his phone buzzed. He was going to ignore it until he saw who was calling him.

"Oracle," he said after picking up the phone, "Why're you ringing me during daylight?"

"Bruce has been kidnapped,"

A beat of silence.

"What?"

"Bruce-"

"Yeah. Yeah. I heard you," said Jason, "From where?"

"Lunch break," said Barbara, "Only a few witnesses and they've been kept quiet,"

"Okay," said Jason, already switching the call to Bluetooth and grabbing his keys, "What's the plan?"

"All the other Robins are out of town. You're with Cassandra on this one,"

"Okay," said Jason hopping on his cycle

"Jason?" said Barbara

"Yeah,"

"Good Luck," she said, "And be careful,"

xxx

There was no ransom demand. The kidnapping was done by a disgruntled former employee that Bruce and Tim had personally seen the termination of. Jason didn't need to know why it had happened. Neither Bruce or Tim was in the habit of firing people for no good reason. There had probably been something fishy going on.

He was more worried about how long it was taking them to find the man. Cassandra's taut muscles showed him she was worried too.

He's batman. He's fine.

It didn't help.

They did find him thirty-seven hours after the kidnapping. He was chained to the warehouse ground, covered in cuts and bruises. There were needle marks on him showing that something had been given to him.

He was unconscious, resembling a dead man more than an alive one.

It took all his will power and Cassandra's firm hand on his shoulder to keep from beating the perp to a pulp.

"Take him home," said Cassandra

Jason took a deep breath and steadied himself. She was right because of course, she was. The only bat with at least some common sense.

"Okay," said Jason, "Okay,"

xxx

The good thing about keeping the kidnapping out of the media was that they were able to bring Bruce home without raising too many questions. He was instantly taken to the med bay where Leslie did her tests as the various children of the manor slowly trickled in.

"He's stable," said Leslie, "From what I can tell he's on some cocktail of sedatives and pain mediation. I'm not sure what they were trying to do but it's nothing overly harmful. He'll probably just be a little loopy when he wakes up. If he's not up for another 48 hours, we should probably do some more tests,"

Jason can hear Tim and Alfred asking more questions but all he can do is stare at the nearly lifeless body was his da-former mentor.

"You did good," said Dick, gently squeezing his shoulder.

Jason tried to nod, tried to give any reaction. It didn't work.

He wondered how long it would take- how long it would take for this oily dark feeling in his stomach to go away this time around and if he would ever stop feeling it every time he saw the older man laid up in bed.

He wondered if he even wanted to stop feeling it.

xxx

When Bruce started to stir awake thirty-two hours after the rescue, Jason was the only one awake, the rest of the bats having dozed off at different spots around the cave.

"Hunghhhh," said Bruce as he stirred awake

"Hey," murmured Jason gently touching the man's shoulder, "You with us, B?"

Bruce blinked slowly, looking as if he was having a hard time focusing. Jason gave him a few minutes to adjust. Once he stopped blinking, he noticed that bruce was looking at him with an odd tilt to his head and a confused look in his eyes.

He frowned. Maybe the injections had some side effects.

"Hey Bruce," said Jason, "Do you know who I am?"

Bruce frowned in concentration and then a bid dopey smile spread across his face.

"Murder Baby," he said

Jason couldn't believe his ears, "What?"

"Murder Baby!" said Bruce, this time a little more enthusiastically

"What?" this time his question came out in a screech and prompted everyone in them cave to wake up. Dick fell off the chair, Timmy and Duke accidentally elbowed each other from where they were curled up together. Everyone also looked ready for a fight. Cass was the only one who looked even a little calm.

Bruce grinned and waved when he saw all fo them.

"What's wrong Little Wing?" asked Dick, "Everything okay with him?"

Jason didn't know how to answer.

"Uh, B tell me again who I am?"

Dick frowned but Bruce answered without missing a beat.

"Murder Baby!"

There were a few murmured 'what the hell's around the room?'

"Father what's wrong with you?" asked Damian, coming to stand beside Jason

Bruce grinned again and bopped Damian on the nose "Little Cutie!"

"Oh my God," said Dick gleefully, "It's the drugs,"

Bruce turned at the sound and smiled at Dick, "Birdie!"

"Well okay then," said Tim.

Bruce grinned and made grabby hands at Tim. Tim carefully came closer only for Bruce to bodily haul him up on the bed.

"Hi dad," said Tim, a happy grin on his face. Jason thought it looked good on him.

"Coffee boy," murmured Bruce, gently poking his cheek.

"Ain't that accurate," scoffed Stephanie

"Eggplant girl!"

"That's also accurate," said Tim, "Hey B who's that?"

Bruce followed Tim's finger to Cass and smiled, "Dancey girl,"

A few chuckles were heard around the room and a game was made of it.

Duke was dubbed 'little mister light'

Kate was 'Kit Kat', apparently a childhood nickname by Bruce

Barbara was 'Little Red', another childhood nickname

Selina was still called 'Cat'

Harper was 'blue brat'

Cullen was called 'Cute bug'

But the real kicker came when Alfred finally came downstairs.

"What ever is going on down here," he asked

A few voices went up to explain but it Bruce's words that cut through everything.

"Hi, Dad!"

Silence. You could have heard a ghost pin drop.

"Master Bruce?" asked Alfred

Bruce held out a hand and made an impatient motion, "Dad!"

Alfred quickly came to his side and squeezed his hand, making Bruce smile a big dopey smile all over again.

"What is happening here?" asked Alfred, sounding both bewildered and happy

"He's giving everyone nicknames," Jason told him, "We think it's the drugs. He keeps calling me Murder Baby,"

"And apparently you're dad," said Dick, a soft smile on his face, "Makes sense really,"

Alfred smiled, a little wetness in his eyes, "I see,"

"You should hear what he's calling the rest of us," said Stephanie, "Hey Bruce, who am I?"

And then the nickname game began all over again.

"I didn't think he would use the word murder in association with me so...affectionately," said Jason

"You guys have come a long way," said Dick

"He's high on drugs," said Jason, trying not to let hope swell in his chest, "Probably doesn't know what he's saying,"

"He called Alfred Dad, Jay,"

Jason didn't have anything to say to that.

The real shock came when Leslie came over to check up on Bruce.

"Mom!"

Leslie stopped in her tracks.

"What?" she asked, voice barely above a whisper.

"It's the drugs. He's giving everyone nicknames," said Tim

"And I'm..."

"Mom!" Bruce finished for her

"Well, baby," said Leslie, voice suspiciously rough, "Let's get you checked out,"

Bruce complied with a grin and nod.

Half an hour later, Bruce had dozed off again while everybody settled down around him.

"You all should really head upstairs," said Leslie

Nobody moved

xxx

Bruce woke up again two hours later but this time everyone was alert. Kate, Selina and Leslie had left while Alfred had gone back upstairs but the kids had all stayed.

Jason was once again the first one to notice that he was waking up.

"Hey, B," he said, "You with us?"

"Hmm, Jay?" said Bruce, prompting everyone to surround him once again.

Jason smiled, "Yeah. Yeah. It's me. How're you feeling?"

"I'm okay," he said, carefully, "How long was I out?"

"The first time nearly two days after. You woke a couple of hours ago and then fell asleep again," said Dick

Bruce frowned, "Please tell me you all haven't been here the whole time,"

"Don't worry about that," said Tim, "Do you remember anything from when you first woke up,"

Bruce frowned, "No, Should I?"

Everyone in the room shot each other looks, trying to but not succeeding in hiding their grins.

Bruce gave a resigned sigh, "Just show me the video,"

Four different phones were extended towards him. Bruce took Stephanie's and played the video displayed. They all watched him carefully as he cycled through very different emotions. Surprise, amusement, happiness and then utter bewilderment.

"I called Leslie, mom?" he asked, looking up at them

"Yeah," said Dick, "We were a little surprised,"

"I'm gonna have to talk to her aren't I?" he asked

"That's probably a good idea," said Duke

"Have you ever called her that before?" asked Tim

"Once," said Bruce, "I was around ten. I ran away and hid in my room for a full two days,"

"Wow,"

"Yup,"

There was a beat of silence and then Damian spoke up.

"Father, now that all this sentimental commiserating is over, I would like to bring up a complaint about the nickname you gave me,"

"Really brat?" said Tim, "Bruce was drugged for god's sake,"

"Quiet Drake," said Damian, "As I was saying, my nickname should not involve the work cute. I will allow little as I am the smallest right now but not cute,"

"But Dami," cried Dick, "You are cute,"

"I am not-Grayson! Get off of me- Father! Help!"

Bruce just shook his head and smiled.

Eventually, everybody wandered away from the cave, leaving only Bruce and Jason behind.

"So," started Bruce, conversationally, "What about this is bothering you? The murder part or the baby part?"

Jason stared at him, "I have no idea what you're talking about,"

Bruce raised his eyebrows and yeah, that was about eight on the Did you forget I'm Batman scale.

Jason sighed, "I don't know,"

"Is it a bad thing?"

Jason thought about it and landed on 'no'. Hearing it threw his for a bit of an emotional loop but it wasn't something that needed talking about. He would probably forget about it the minute he started eating Alfred's cookies.

"Nah. I'm good,"

"Okay," said Bruce, "Jay?"

"Yeah,"

"I love you,"

"Love you too, Old man,"

Yeah. It was good.

xxx

A few days after the incident, the family were all gathered in the den, having a rare night of pizza and movies. Well, the pizza was the rare part, not the movies.

Damian was grouchy about something like usual and talking-well complaining-Bruce's ear off.

Bruce was looking at his phone though and at one point pulled Damian close while shushing him absentmindedly.

"Hush, Little Cutie,"

There was a moment of silence and then the room exploded with Damian's screeching and everyone else's amusement.

Poor Bruce just looked bewildered.

"I-I didn't mean to say that," he muttered

It made Jason roar and double over.

"Your face!" he said between gasps

Bruce glared.

"Shut up, Murder Baby,"

It only made Jason laugh harder.

Notes:

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