Work Text:
The sky is gray again today, at least I think.
It's funny, I can't remember the last time I looked up to check.
Every day it's just gray and gray, and I keep my eyes just below the horizon.
You see if I don't look up then it doesn't matter if the sky is clear, or pouring.
No matter the weather it will always be how I feel it should be.
The air feels heavy today, it's probably going to rain soon.
I don't want to get wet so I hurry and go the well-trod path home.
only I get lost in thought on the way there so my feet start to wander like my head
They both tend to get away from me on rainy days.
By the time I come to, I have no idea where I am each time, so I look around.
The local cemetery, why would I go here?
I want to turn around and head home to avoid the rain but my feet don't seem to get that memo.
I normally keep my eyes just below the horizon, but now they are almost looking at my feet exclusively.
My treacherous feet which I have no idea where they're taking me that have my heart pumping so hard.
My feet which I just know will take me somewhere terrible if I don't get control soon.
Finally, my feet stop like I've been begging them to, only I'm already here.
My parents grave.
Two people who I love to love and who it hurts to love all the same.
Two people who are buried so close together underground they might very well be holding hands so they can rise together one day.
Two people who I can't remember if they died on a sunny day or not.
I turn around finally in control of my body and I want to walk away.
I don't.
IT feels like I've always been walking away from them, at least as long as my eyes have been low.
The rain has started now, the ground is getting wet.
But is it really?
How long has it been raining?
How fast would I have to run to get out of it without getting soaked?
And what would I see if I looked up?
If I just keep my eyes low it's all exactly how it should be, I'll go home, go to sleep, wake up and go to work again.
My body always likes doing its own thing on rainy days.
I look up.
The sun is brighter than I ever remembered.
The only rain is coming from me.
I go home.