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In a matter of days, Sokka had gone from feeling on top of the world and hopelessly in love to feeling like his heart had been torn from his chest and stomped on. He managed, mostly, to keep a smile and brave face in public, but when he was alone – which was more often than he’d originally believed, and far lonelier than he recalled – he let the act drop. Let himself think about the announcement, let himself feel the emotions that roiled within him because of it.
He could almost hear the herald’s voice, repeating the announcement over and over again in his head.
‘In order to cement the alliance between the Water Tribes and the Fire Nation, Fire Lord Zuko will wed a representative of the Southern Water Tribe. This will occur in one month’s time, upon the eve of the full moon.’
It was agonising, hearing it over and over again. A month. He had a month left with Zuko before… before Zuko married Katara.
Sokka stared listlessly out the window he sat near, not truly seeing what was outside but staring off into the middle distance. His throat was tight, his eyes burning with the tears that threatened to fall. He took a deep, shaky breath, almost choking on it, and when he exhaled it was almost a sob.
How could she? Katara. How could she do this to him? He’d confessed to her that he loved Zuko, that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with the firebender, and then she went and did this? Went and arranged to marry the man Sokka loved?
And Zuko was just… going along with it. It was like he didn’t care that Sokka’s heart was breaking every time he went to meet with Aang and Suki and Katara to continue hashing out the details of the treaties between the four nations. Went to find more ways to walk all over Sokka’s stupid, stupid, stupid heart.
He should just leave. The others would realise something was wrong if he went before the wedding, would likely expect him to give Katara away – Zuko had mentioned meshing wedding traditions, and giving the bride to the groom was one that remained pretty consistent throughout, even if it was done a little differently in each place – so he had to find the perfect moment to sneak out of the palace and out of the Fire Nation before he had to watch his sister marry the love of his life.
The morning of the wedding would probably be best. Everyone would be so caught up in final preparations that no one would notice him leaving, not if he did so discreetly.
His next breath was a sob, and he shut his eyes tight to stop the tears from escaping.
If not for the fact he currently shared chambers with Zuko – and, spirits, that would need to change before the wedding, he wasn’t going to help someone cheat on his sister, even if he’d been with that person first – he’d leave now. Just… pack his stuff and walk out.
But Zuko would notice, and then Katara would find out, and she’d be so upset that he was missing her wedding—
Sokka let his head drop onto his knees, shoulders trembling as he forced himself to take a deep, slow breath.
Fuck.
He didn’t know if the betrayal was worse, or the sheer lack of care. Zuko kept talking about the upcoming wedding, talking about plans and decorations and guests, and Sokka tried to feign interest but he couldn’t, not when he felt like his heart was being torn to shreds every time. Zuko would eventually give up, and then he would take Sokka to bed and hold him all night, pressing soft kisses to his cheek and mouth and neck and shoulder. Every touch just made it worse, because Sokka longed for those touches but soon they wouldn’t be for him.
And Katara… she was so excited when she talked to him lately, asking his opinion on this or that fabric, whether an older style of Water Tribe wedding attire would work better with Fire Nation robes than the newer ones… it was like she’d forgotten Sokka had admitted to her that he loved Zuko more than he’d ever thought possible. Like she’d forgotten how she’d squealed happily and hugged him tight, urging him to tell Zuko because of course he loves you back, you dummy!
Sokka lost his fight against his tears, and wept quietly into his knees.
He couldn’t watch his sister marry Zuko. He couldn’t give her away to him, couldn’t stand beside her at her wedding like he’d promised to do when they were little…
It just hurt too much.
She would’ve thought Sokka would be more excited about this. He’d only been pining after Zuko since soon after they joined forces, and he’d been in a relationship with him for a good three years now. Once she’d known for sure that he was in it for the long haul – which, with Sokka, was sometimes a little hard to tell – she’d started to set things in motion.
Katara did so love playing matchmaker.
She’d managed to find the perfect argument for Zuko’s advisors to accept a marriage between him and Sokka, and – having assured Zuko that Sokka loved him back, the two idiots having never exchanged the words – the announcement had been made.
Now Katara was focusing on the wedding planning. They only had a month – more like three weeks, now – and so she had a lot to do and not a lot of time to do it in. She didn’t have much time to go seek out her brother, even though he seemed strangely absent lately, and not just physically. He was also incredibly blasé about the entire thing, and while that wasn’t entirely odd – Sokka had matured fast and early, for all his immature moments – he was just so cool towards the entire matter.
Zuko was stressing more than enough for the both of them, Katara thought, but it would be nice if her brother could show even a little interest in the proceedings of his own wedding! She practically had to hunt him down and shove fabric choices in his face to get him to pick the ones for his wedding attire! Not even to mention the difficulty she had in getting him to choose what style of wedding clothing he preferred. He’d just shrugged and told her that whatever she thought best would work perfectly. Katara loved her brother dearly, but she was getting so close to tearing her hair out at his nonchalant approach to his wedding.
What had happened to the boy who’d mused and daydreamed over what his wedding would be like when he married? What had happened to the boy who gushed to her over each proposal he witnessed?
Was it nerves, now it was finally his turn? She didn’t know, and she didn’t have time to pressure him into telling her what was wrong. Not with how Zuko was working himself up into a panic attack as he paced around wondering if Sokka didn’t want him after all and maybe he should call off the wedding and rework the treaties?
Katara was not letting her hard work go to waste just because her brother had some stupid chip on his shoulder. But, because of said hard work, she didn’t have the time to go find him!
She was able to send Suki to try talk to him, though, to drag him out of wherever he’d holed himself up and – if necessary – beat some sense into him.
Katara, in the meantime, would handle Zuko. Preferably before he had a nervous breakdown.
The paperwork was going to kill him before anything else did. There was so much of it to get organised and filled out and signed and filed so that he could marry Sokka right before the full moon. Katara was a blessing, taking on the bulk of the actual wedding arrangements, because for some reason Sokka was nowhere to be found and seemed to have no interest in the planning.
And the worry was starting to gnaw at Zuko’s belly. He rarely saw Sokka lately, and when he did, Sokka was quiet and withdrawn and disinterested in almost everything. He’d barely even look at Zuko when they were together, even though he clung tight to him at night. But he wouldn’t speak to him, wouldn’t tell him what was wrong, and every time Zuko hesitantly brought up the wedding, Sokka would get this pained look in his eyes and become even more closed-off.
He just didn’t understand what was wrong. Zuko felt like he was going to combust, he was so happy – and why wouldn’t he be, getting to marry the man he loved? – but Sokka seemed like he was awaiting execution!
Maybe… maybe Katara had been wrong? Maybe Sokka didn’t want anything more than to share Zuko’s bed?
But if that was the case, then why had he stayed so long? It wasn’t like Zuko would kick him out of the palace if he decided to end their relationship. He’d be heartbroken, yes, but he’d not toss Sokka out on his ear.
Zuko ceased pacing and dropped into a chair, burying his head in his hands and clenching his fingers tight in his hair. Did Sokka think that he’d get kicked out if he didn’t stay with Zuko? Was that what was happening?
A hand smacked the back of his head, and he jolted and lifted his head. Katara was standing beside him, arms folded across her chest, foot tapping an irritated beat.
“What’s going through your stupid head?” she demanded, and Zuko groaned, dropping his head to his hands again.
“What if he’s upset about this because he doesn’t actually want it and thinks I’ll kick him out if he doesn’t stay?”
Toph could not believe these idiots. The answer seemed obvious to her, but perhaps it was because she didn’t have the visuals to distract her from what was actually happening.
“Zuko’s got his head in his hands, and Katara just looks irritated,” Aang whispered, and Toph heaved a huge, loud sigh. “They’re looking this way.”
“Let me outline what’s happening, and maybe you idiots will figure out what the damn problem is,” she snapped.
“Please,” Katara said, sounding like she was at her wits’ end, and Toph would sympathise if Katara wasn’t one of the idiots causing her the same problem.
“Katara told Zuko that Sokka told her he loved him and wants to marry him. Zuko loves him back – which is obvious to everyone but Sokka, mind you – and the two of you worked a marriage clause into your treaty between the Fire Nation and the Water Tribes to get approval from Zuko’s idiot elders for him to marry Sokka. All correct so far?”
Two noises of agreement, one from Zuko and one from Katara, and Toph nodded to herself.
“Right. The treaty gets organised, the announcement of the marriage gets made, and then you two start planning. Still correct?”
Two more noises of agreement. Toph snorted, and folded her arms over her chest.
“And there’s nothing in that list of events that I’m missing? Nothing happened that I didn’t just say?” she persisted. Silence.
“No?” Katara said first, sounding puzzled. “Zuko?”
“No, there’s nothing missing.”
Toph rolled her eyes. Idiots, all of them! Aang, beside her, made a puzzled noise, and Toph despaired. Was she the only one with any sense here?
“Did anyone think to tell Sokka that he’s going to be marrying Zuko?” she asked pointedly.
Nothing. No sound, no movement, except for Aang nodding beside her. “Well?”
“Who else would I marry, though?” Zuko asked, sounding incredibly confused.
Toph couldn’t believe anyone could be so incredibly stupid.
“Water Tribe representative?” she suggested dryly, waving a hand towards Katara. They were silent again, and then Aang snickered beside her.
“They both look disgusted,” he told her, and Toph would’ve laughed if she wasn’t entirely done with the dumbasses who didn’t seem to share half a brain between them. “Wait, didn’t you ask Sokka to marry you before the announcement, Zuko?” he asked, and Zuko was silent for a long moment.
Toph gave in to the urge to smack a hand over her face. If he had to think about it, then the likely answer was—
“I forgot to propose!” Zuko exclaimed, and Toph rubbed her temples before turning her face towards him. A noise of epiphany came from Katara.
“Oh, that idiot thinks I’m going to be marrying you,” she exclaimed, apparently to Zuko. “And you’re an idiot too for not using your words!”
Toph decided to be polite for once and not say just how stupid Katara was for having not realised what had been going on.
“I need to find him, I need to apologise and explain and—”
“Just go to your rooms, idiot. Sokka’s there,” Toph interrupted before the ‘regal and honourable Fire Lord’ could get any more worked up. “Suki hasn’t found him yet, she was looking in the wrong places.” Zuko ran from the room, and Toph turned her head towards Katara. “Go find your girlfriend, you’ve clearly absorbed some of Zuko’s ‘stupid’ if you didn’t realise what was wrong. She’s the smart one in your relationship.”
“You can be so mean sometimes, Toph,” Katara said, but she sounded like she was smiling. “Thanks for that.” Toph rolled her eyes again and waved her off. Once she was gone, Toph turned to Aang.
“Come on, let’s go get something to eat.”
Sokka jumped as the doors to Zuko’s rooms slammed open, jolting to his feet and reaching for the closest weapon before he realised it was just Zuko, looking like he’d run halfway across the palace with Azula on his heels. Sokka lowered the sword, confused, as Zuko pushed the doors shut behind him and quickly crossed the room to stand in front of him.
“I’m an idiot, I’m sorry,” Zuko began, hands on Sokka’s cheeks. His eyes were wild, and he seemed distressed. Sokka was just… confused. And tired. He couldn’t go on like this much longer. “I’ve completely failed to talk to you and Toph just pointed out what you must be thinking and I swear I never meant this to go so wrong—” Sokka covered Zuko’s mouth, bewildered by the babble. He carefully dropped the sword he’d been holding onto the seat he’d been sitting on before Zuko burst in, and then grasped Zuko’s hands and pulled them off his cheeks.
“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” he admitted. Zuko tilted his head, their foreheads resting together. His hands turned, clutching Sokka’s forearms.
“I forgot to actually ask you before I started planning, and if you want me to call it off I will, but—”
“You’re still not actually making sense,” Sokka said, voice flat. Was Zuko really coming in here like this and holding him like this to ask his permission to marry Katara? “Spit it out already.” Zuko winced, and he looked so pained that Sokka nearly kissed him. He resisted, though. Couldn’t do that now.
“Will you marry me, Sokka?” Zuko asked in a rush, and Sokka froze.
“What?” he croaked out.
“I started planning before the announcement was made and Katara helped me get it past the elders, but then Toph asked me if you knew I was going to marry you and we realised I never proposed,” Zuko whispered, words quick but clear. “I’m an idiot and you’ve probably been so confused and you have every right to be angry with me. Will you marry me? I’ll call off the wedding if you say no—”
“No,” Sokka interrupted, and Zuko wilted before his eyes. “Wait, no, I meant, you don’t have to call it off,” he hurriedly corrected himself and then paused and took a deep breath. Zuko was staring at him, hope and something Sokka desperately, desperately hoped he wasn’t misreading. “Yes, I’ll marry you, and no, you don’t have to call off the wedding.”
Zuko’s entire expression lifted, and his mouth crushed against Sokka’s. Sokka kissed him back just as hard, relief making him frantic as he clutched at his lover – no, not just lover, now, but his intended husband.
The ache in his heart was gone, the cracks healing with every moment that passed.
Their kiss broke, foreheads resting together as they panted into each other’s mouths. Sokka’s cheeks hurt from how widely he was smiling, tearstained as they were.
“I love you,” Zuko whispered. Sokka almost started crying again, this time with relief, but he refrained and instead just kissed Zuko hard.
“I love you too,” he whispered back. And he really, really did.