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Jonathan didn't realize there was anything amiss when he walked through the front door. Sure, everyone was looking at him, but considering the three in the room were his sweetheart, his teacher, and his best friend, that was to be expected.
Erina rushed to greet him, her voice much louder than usual, "Mr. Joestar! Thank goodness you're back!"
He took her by the hand, beaming on her with the benevolence of the sun. "I missed you too, love!" He punctuated the sentiment with a kiss on the lips.
What he saw when he pulled away concerned him. Her eyes were the size of dinner plates and her whole face turned beet red. Before he could even ask her what was wrong, her eyes rolled back, eyelashes fluttering, and she collapsed.
"Erina!"
Luckily, JoJo caught her before she fell to the floor. He ran over to Zeppeli, cradling her upper body to his chest. "Baron Zeppeli! Erina is sick! Do you think hamon will make her well?"
Zeppeli gave him a wide-eyed look, an expression resembling that of a student who sat down in class only to realize an exam they planned to cram for soon was, in fact, that day. "I… don't… know."
Jonathan raised an eyebrow. "Huh?"
"JoJo, I don't know anything about hamon."
He was mystified by that obviously incorrect statement, before he understood the apparent implication and laughed, "Oh, I see! This is another one of your kooky lessons! Pretending to have amnesia so I can prove my skills. Clever, baron!"
Smiling at having solved that puzzle, he hoisted her legs up too and set his beloved Erina down on the couch.
Speedwagon, sitting cross-legged on a chair beside them, tipped the brim of his hat to hide his secondhand embarrassment. Oddly enough, it wasn't his own bowler hat, but Zeppeli's checkered topper. He sighed, " Mamma mia … no, JoJo, that's not what she means..."
Jonathan looked between Zeppeli and Speedwagon, then parroted his new source of confusion, "She?!"
The baron touched his chest. "JoJo, it's me. Erina."
"Wh-what? Zeppeli, is this still a test?"
His eyes narrowed. "I first met you when we were twelve years old. You defended me from some bullies who took my doll, and you lost. You told me that a true gentleman fights for those who can't, no matter if he'll win or lose. You left your handkerchief behind. It was white but covered in your own blood, and it had your name sewn into it with blue thread. I kept it when my family moved to India, and I'd look at it almost every day and think of you."
Jonathan blinked in surprise. "You're right," he marvelled, "I don't know how, but you are. You got every detail correct."
"That's because I was there, JoJo."
"But… if you're somehow... Erina…" he couldn't believe what was coming out of his mouth, "then who did I kiss when I arrived?" he gestured to the unconscious girl on the couch.
"Who do you think, JoJo?" countered Speedwagon. It was a leading question, the sort a teacher asks to guide the student to a correct answer. The manner he asked was in it of itself a clue.
"Wait. You're not Speedwagon, either. You're Baron Zeppeli."
He flicked his hat's brim. "Pow!"
"So if you're Zeppeli, and this is Erina, then that must be…"
Zeppeli (the actual one, who currently wore Speedwagon's face) nodded, silently confirming his deduction. Reflecting on it, it had been odd that "she" called him Mr. Joestar instead of JoJo…
"Oh, poor Speedwagon! Being kissed by a man was so emasculating that he fainted from shame!"
Zeppeli and Erina exchanged glances.
"Yes, JoJo, that's exactly why he fainted," said Erina, so soft-spoken to her beloved that even her sarcasm had only the subtlest sting. Jonathan registered it as agreement.
"Well, considering he's in a woman's body, he's already thoroughly emasculated, and that was his own fault," argued Zeppeli. He then said under his breath, "Not as if that's the reason, anyhow…"
"His fault? How could it be his fault? How did this even happen?"
"No worries, JoJo, I will illuminate!" Zeppeli announced, twirling his finger into the air declaratively. "You see, about an hour or so ago I was eating my lunch. It was nothing fancy, just a ham sandwich with usual trimmings and crusts cut off…"
"Baron Zeppeli, is this relevant?"
" Yes . Anyways, I was eating and Speedwagon was badgering me about hamon. I showed you Life Magnetism Overdrive, didn't I? What with controlling the dead leaves?"
"Yes."
"He was pestering me about that. He said that if hamon was life energy, it didn't make sense for it to flow through dead leaves-- which is wrong, of course, as they used to be living-- and it got to the point where I was demonstrating it with the lettuce from my sandwich. And that was all well and good, until I, uhh… sneezed..."
"You put too much pepper on your sandwich again, didn't you?"
"I don't tell you how to live your life, JoJo!" he snipped, which was an odd thing to hear coming out of Speedwagon's mouth directed at Jonathan.
Ever the gentleman, he hurriedly replied, "Apologies, Baron Zeppeli. I still don't understand how you sneezing switched your bodies, though."
He sighed, and Jonathan knew he was about to go on one of his lesson-infused tangents.
"JoJo, when you sneeze, your breathing and heartbeat change, intensifying for a moment with the only goal being to expel whatever is irritating the nose. Some say your heart even stops. JoJo, there's a hamon technique I can't show you-- at least not yet-- called Deep Pass Overdrive. It transfers one's life energy into another person. I planned to demonstrate it to you w-- if I died on this quest, to grant you my power when my soul left my body. But that sneeze was so severe, my body must've assumed it was dying, and the force of air through my lungs triggered it automatically. But, you must remember, I was performing Life Magnetism Overdrive at the same time…"
As he relayed this information, he twisted a lock of Speedwagon's long hair around his finger, which Jonathan imagined his typically shorthaired teacher had done quite a bit over his tenure in the ruffian's body.
"One pushing life force out, the other pulling it back simultaneously…" Jonathan thought aloud, "So it became an exchange of sorts. You gave Speedwagon your life energy and your body took his. And because neither of you were actually dying, your spirits were still attached."
"Precisely-- Ouch!" He accidentally yanked his own hair in that sacred Italian practice of talking with his hands.
Jonathan understood the mechanism now, but one part still confused him. "How did Erina get roped into this?"
"Wrong place, wrong time," she answered.
Zeppeli elaborated, "After I figured out what happened and Speedwagon stopped screaming, I tried to coach him through the process in an attempt to reverse it, as I can't generate hamon in this body. However, Erina happened to walk in the room and put her hand on his shoulder..."
"The baron doesn't usually scream, I was rightly concerned."
"She scared the living daylights out of him and he ended up switching souls with her instead."
"I see." He couldn't imagine the shock his sweetheart went through in that moment, suddenly finding herself a middle-aged man. He held her hands, looking for her in Zeppeli's eyes. "Oh, dear, I'm so sorry. You must have been terribly frightened."
She dismissed his concern, perhaps too quickly, "Of course I was, but I'm alright now." Then, she chuckled. "You should have seen Speedwagon. He was white as a sheet, hands up because he didn't want to touch anything, even accidentally. I appreciate it, but it was such a funny sight as well."
He looked over to the person on the couch, sleeping peacefully with his hands resting over his tummy, and smiled. "He's a good man."
Dwelling on him in that state reminded him of what caused him to faint in the first place which he had a need to rectify: the kiss.
He turned to her, heart heavy with guilt. "Erina, I'm so sorry for kissing Speedwagon like that. And right in front of you, too..."
"I don't mind, honey."
"Still, I owe you one of your own." He came in closer, and perhaps it would have been cheek-to-cheek if Jonathan wasn't half a head taller. He looked down upon her with that twinkle in his eyes she knew well. His intentions were clear.
"Oh, are you sure? In this body? I can wait…"
"Erina," he said, gently lifting her chin, "I love you so very much, regardless of what you look like. You're still my heart, no matter what."
"Oh, JoJo…"
He closed his eyes and pressed his lips into hers. Ignoring the tickle of the mustache, it was hardly any different kissing her in this form. Erina was still Erina, if not in face, then in mannerism: how she tilted her head just so to meet his lips, the force she put behind it that somehow always surprised him, the way she held her hand on his arm. He could picture the woman within clearly, and he was reluctant to let her go.
Zeppeli sat there awkwardly watching himself and his student being intimate for a moment that felt like it stretched out forever. Eventually, they did break away from each other.
"Right, well--" he coughed unconvincingly in an attempt to clear the air, "--we ought to get you acquainted with this new technique. Placing myself in your body will allow me to use hamon again, then I could switch with Erina to get my body back."
"But everyone else will still be mixed up," countered Jonathan, "I'd be Speedwagon, Erina would be me, and Speedwagon would stay Erina."
"True…" he replied, stroking his chin, trying to suss the puzzle out. When an idea struck him, he clapped his hands. "Alright! Here's a plan. When I go back to my body, I'll walk you through it, Erina. You'll switch with Speedwagon. Then that just leaves him and yourself, JoJo. He'll listen to you with vigor, I already know. With your instruction, he'll switch you both back. Probably."
"I'm willing to take that risk if it gets some of you back to normal," Jonathan assured him.
"Alright," he stood up, cracking his knuckles, "so let's get started!"
Zeppeli took Jonathan into an adjacent room in order to better concentrate. Erina stayed by Speedwagon's bedside to ensure he didn't accidentally hurt himself-- meaning her body-- when he woke up. Sitting on the floor in silence, she was forced to grapple with her predicament more intimately than she had before, when panic and formulating a plan to fix it gripped all of their minds. For the moment, there was nothing to distract her.
By the unspoken standards of Victorian society, she was a man now, no matter her feelings or inclinations on the subject. She was a... man . She had a mustache and a…
Her head unconsciously tipped down to her lap.
A…
She crossed her legs, as if suppressing the thought would somehow make it magically disappear. But when one tries their damnedest not to think of a white bear, they start thinking of a white bear. That is basic human psychology. Erina had a stampede of white bears running through her head, footfall so hard she physically trembled. It was the sound of the man beside her stirring that snapped her out of it.
“Mmm... Zeppeli? What happened?” asked the delirious Speedwagon, trying to sit himself up.
She shot her arm out to stop him, as she knew from nursing experience he was going far too fast. “Easy, easy now,” she said delicately, “You fainted, remember?”
Speedwagon shook his head, which didn’t surprise her in the least. Waking from a fainting spell into a confused state was perfectly normal.
“Speedwagon, has something like this happened to you before? I’m fairly certain this was from shock, but I want to be sure…” Why was she asking this? It’s not as if his medical history followed him into her body. Then again, she had no idea how this blasted magic worked, so it may very well have done so.
After rubbing his eyes, he shook his head again. “No, no. I got nothin’ to tell ya, old man.”
“Old man?” she echoed quizzically to herself, then realized if he didn’t remember why he fainted, he likely was unaware of the swap as well.
Slowly this time, Speedwagon eased himself up, grunting. He itched the back of his head. “Blimey, I’m outta sorts somethin’ awful…” He stretched his spine, one hand resting on his side by his hip. In doing this, his eyes went wide, and he clearly noticed something was off. His hand traced up his figure, stopping and hooking his thumb under the top of his corset through his dress.
“Am I wearin’ a--”
“Yes. Yes you are.”
He looked down at himself, got an eyeful of his bosom, and promptly shrieked.
“Speedwagon!” She sprung to comfort him, rubbing him on the shoulder. “It’s okay, it’s okay, I’m right here...”
His breath heaving, he met her gaze, squinting. "E-Erina…?”
“In the-- well, I suppose flesh isn’t the right word, considering it’s not mine…”
He brought his hand to his forehead in exasperation, though a smile played on his lips. “Oh my God, you’ve been in there too long, miss. You’re startin’ to ramble like him…”
She giggled at that, and Speedwagon joined her a moment, but as his memories came back to him, he slapped his hand over his mouth, his whole face flushed again. He uncovered it and squeaked, “By God! Mr. Joestar kissed me! On my mouth!”
She couldn’t help grinning at his bashfulness. “I know he did.”
“Miss Pendleton, I’m so sorry!”
“Don’t worry about it,” she insisted, cheeks getting a bit rosy herself, “He kissed me too.”
A beat of silence followed as the former thug processed that.
"Really? Like... that?" His voice was hush, a feather drifting in the air. There was wonder in it. Hope.
"Yes. He told me it didn't matter how I looked. It doesn't matter to him. He loves my soul."
He held his cheek, eyes downcast, wandering to nowhere. "It's a nice thought, isn't it? To love a soul regardless of body?"
She placed her hand on his, hers olive-skinned and callused against his, soft and slim and lily-white. "Speedwagon…"
"You're a lovely woman, Erina. And Jonathan's a lovely man. So lovely I can't stop loving him."
She rubbed her thumb along his wrist. They talked about this a few times over Jonathan's hospital stay, always in whispers. Despite a rocky start, they bonded over mutual love for the gentleman. "I know."
His eyes caught hers, cyan sparkling like waves on the sea. "Do you-- do you think, Miss Pendleton… he could…"
He fell quiet, and Erina could see the lump squirm in his throat.
"Oh, Robert…"
She hugged him tight. A thought came to her, played on her tongue, and at first she was cautious to voice it, as it might bring his hopes up. But voice it she did, because she had hope for it to, or at least for her friend's happiness.
"Maybe… maybe someday…"
Jonathan and Zeppeli were also having a strange time, though when they first retreated from the parlor it didn't seem that way. Aside from Zeppeli looking like Speedwagon, when he began instruction it felt even… normal. Well, normal as the eccentric Italian could make it. But an unusual undercurrent took shape shortly, the nature of which JoJo couldn't place. Zeppeli's voice would waver occasionally, his words catching in his throat, and he would glance away from him frequently. He couldn't understand why his teacher was suddenly so nervous. It all reached a head after another attempt by Jonathan to create a rush of air on par with one of Zeppeli's sneezes.
"No, no, no! That's not right! You're not pushing hard enough. Your hamon breathing pattern is working against you."
"How much harder do I need to go, Baron?"
"Well, I… I can't really tell from this distance," he said, as they were about an arm's length apart, "since I'm not in tune with hamon energy, I can't sense it as well..."
"I'll let you come closer then."
"Uh... alright…"
Jonathan pulled him into his chest, which was how high Speedwagon's head reached, and breathed in deeply to build up air. After a lingering moment, Zeppeli violently squirmed in his arms and JoJo let him go.
"I can't do this!" he cried, turning his back to him with his red face partly covered.
"Zeppeli, are you alright?"
"I'm-- I'm fine, JoJo. This body is just having some… performance issues." He took a few deep breaths to collect himself, then turned back around. "JoJo, I'm going to grab my pepper shaker to get us a sneeze the old fashioned way, alright?"
"But I thought you wanted to teach me how to do it manually..."
Standing in the doorway, he turned, face in profile. "Oh, my dear boy, raw physical reactions are..." He twinged. "...difficult-- to control. We need this done as soon as possible."
Jonathan had a million questions about the shift in lesson plan, but Zeppeli was already out of the room. When he returned he had the pepper in hand and unscrewed the cap. Jonathan relaxed when Zeppeli's fingers interlaced with his and he started performing Life Magnetism Overdrive. Without plants nearby, it started attracting the closest thing that resembled them: Speedwagon's long golden locks. The hair flowed as if blown by a breeze. After admiring the curiosity, he warned his student to shut his eyes and dashed a handful of pepper in Jonathan's face.
Jonathan sneezed alright, and what a sneeze it was. He hadn't pondered it much, but considering Deep Pass Overdrive basically entailed retching your own life force out of your body, it was a horrific experience. In an instant he felt his muscles all contract at once, his heart giving one last great big pump of blood into his arm so he could pass everything in him along. All the energy shot out in a grand blast and the blinding whiteness gave way to dark. For a moment he felt weightless and numb and feared the worst, that he miscalculated and pointlessly killed himself, but soon he felt tingles creeping through his flesh that proved he was still alive. He was on the floor now, he discovered, and stayed there for a bit with his eyes closed, letting air fill his lungs.
It pained him to think of his loved ones experiencing that. It hurt even more to think Speedwagon went through it twice, and they all had to go through it once again in order to set things right.
With some effort, he tossed himself over to his side and slowly opened his eyes. He was on the other side of the room and he could see Speedwagon's mass of hair pooled around his own head. He reached for the left side of his face and was met with jagged scar tissue.
A groan followed from the other side of the room. His gaze tracked it to another Jonathan Joestar who was on his hands and knees.
"Whew! I should have expected your output to be huge, but somehow it still caught me off guard!"
As the true Jonathan propped himself up, the other reached for the checkered top hat between them and placed it on his own head. Jonathan was already aware the double was William Zeppeli, but the gesture was still much appreciated. The baron stood and examined his new form, beaming.
"Hohohoho! You did it, JoJo! Not that I doubted you, just that it's a very risky maneuver. But you did it!"
Jonathan himself launched to his feet, but since he was used to his original heftier body he put too much force into it and stumbled back.
Zeppeli caught him by the hand and pulled him back to his feet. "Careful, leoncino !"
Jonathan's heart raced in a way that seemed a bit excessive for a little fall. Finally reoriented, he looked about curiously.
"Strange," he thought aloud, "it feels like everything around me grew..."
Zeppeli laughed again, and Jonathan noticed his heartbeat still hadn't let up, and he was a bit queasy too.
The baron, in his typical showing of praise, pet Jonathan on the head. "I'm so proud of you."
The gesture opened the floodgates. JoJo's belly was full to bursting with butterflies. One could fry eggs on his cheeks from how hot they grew. And he was tingly again, but in very... specific regions.
He understood now why Zeppeli was talking about unruly physical reactions, why he was so awkward, and why he wanted to get out of Speedwagon's body as soon as possible. It was uncomfortable enough feeling this way towards your own body, it was another matter entirely to suddenly be saddled with these urges targeting your student, who you viewed as practically your son. It must have made him feel despicable.
And then he remembered this was Speedwagon's body. So this was how Speedwagon felt whenever he was around, though he was better at suppressing it due to living in that body for 25 years. Speedwagon was totally lovesick and more. For him.
"So the secret's out, huh?" said Zeppeli, somehow intuiting exactly what he was thinking, guilt painted on his face for carelessly triggering it in his joy.
"How long have you known?"
"Oh, from the first day we met. We have a way of recognizing each other, you know."
Jonathan's brow wrinkled with confusion. "But you're married…"
He shrugged. "When you spend over 20 years in an isolated temple in Tibet physically exerting yourself with a bunch of other sweaty, muscular men, things… uh, happen."
Jonathan had no clue how to respond to that.
"We should, uh, go out to see Erina now…" Jonathan's naturally soft voice only made Zeppeli's embarrassment more apparent.
"Right."
As they walked, Speedwagon’s body settled down, allowing Jonathan to enjoy different sensations. Mostly, it was his new sense of smell. Robert's nose was incredibly developed, as to be expected from one who claims to sniff out people's very characters. Jonathan's body gave off a powerful floral and grassy aroma, with hits of chocolate. JoJo, in a move to figure out what Speedwagon's own scent was, could smell a tart fruitiness to his fingers that suggested Zeppeli had poured himself a glass or two before he arrived, likely an attempt to take the edge off the affair. Incredible...
Soon, they came upon Erina and Speedwagon talking, and Zeppeli beckoned her to follow him. She left with the sly parting words of "You two have fun." Thus, Jonathan sat on the other end of the couch with Speedwagon.
“So…” began Robert, trying to break the uncomfortable silence.
“So…”
“How much do you--”
“You smell good!"
More silence.
Robert raised his eyebrow. “...huh?”
“I mean, you can smell… well. Extremely well. It's strange, I thought what you said about smelling intentions was some kind of exaggeration, but aromas paint such a vivid picture, really. Of the places people have been, what they eat and drink and do. It’s… fascinating. You're very fascinating."
“I... see. Thank you, Mr. Joestar.”
"And you have such pretty hair," JoJo continued, gathering it all sweeping it over his shoulder, "It's so long that it bounces every time I take a step. That's so much fun! It makes me so happy!"
"Oh. Okay."
Both men were aflush.
Jonathan was dying inside. Why on Earth did he say that? He wanted to simply discuss Speedwagon's feelings, but instead he was yammering about things he liked about the man. It seemed like… almost... some attempt at flirtation. Was it the body Robert was in?
No, no. Speedwagon was an invert, apparently. His body wouldn't have physical attraction to one that looked like a woman, and he didn't feel any titillation to disprove that. It was nerves that got to him, and thus it was Jonathan's own head that had him feeling this way.
And he felt that way about Robert E. O. Speedwagon , not just the woman he appeared to be. Just like how he still loved Erina when she looked like Zeppeli, someone he was definitely not attracted to.
And, oh goodness, Erina knew. She knew and she seemed to approve because why else would she say "have fun" like that and be so alright with the two kissing right in front of her?
Oh my. This mixed-up swap meet of souls may have made things clearer for him, somehow.
"Speedwagon," he tried again, "I... like you. I truly do. You're probably the best friend I ever had. And now that I'm you, I understand how much you... like me too. And I wanted to tell you that you don't have to fight those feelings anymore. You can just… set them free. Because, I… I think I love you too."
"...You're just sayin' that 'cause I look like this, right?" asked the thug, pointing to his womanly face.
"No. No, no, no, no, no!" he uttered sweetly in succession, getting on his knees on the couch and walking on them to cup his hands on Robert's cheeks, "I love you for who you are! The wonderful, loyal, caring man you are!"
"I… I wish I could believe that, Mr. Joestar," he said, gently pushing one of the arms down, "but I think the switch scrambled your brain. I mean, it 'as to 'ave. That's the only way you could..."
"Love someone like you?" JoJo guessed sadly. "Robert, do you devalue yourself that much?"
He glanced away. "I ain't anythin' special. Not like you, not like her, not like what you got together. I'm just some bullheaded thug who's good at gettin' in the way."
"No you're not. Don't ever believe that, not for a second. Look at me."
He did. Jonathan had a determined fire in his eyes, locked on him.
"This is coming out of your own mouth, remember, with your own voice, so take it to heart," he told him. He took a deep breath. "You are amazing. You've stood by my side through thick and thin for nothing in return, even when I was a stranger. Your heart is so big. You deserve so much more than what the world gave you. You deserve to be loved."
Robert whimpered, his lip quivering. He blinked out tears that trailed down his face.
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry," he apologized, rubbing them away with his wrist, "blame the new hormones."
Jonathan's expression changed, a bit annoyed but mostly tired. Speedwagon found it difficult to picture on Jonathan's actual face. "Speedwagon, you're not fooling anyone."
"I know!" he sobbed, recalling how many times he cried like a baby in front of the gentleman. One more tally for the board. When the flow slowed, Jonathan reached over and caught a fat tear on his finger. Robert gazed into his warm chocolate eyes, which were kind and soft and somehow his own .
"I love you," he said, unsure if he was speaking to the man behind those eyes or if he was speaking to the body itself, trying to make that statement true.
Jonathan pulled him into an embrace. Damn, was he this great at hugs? It was so cozy, like a heavy blanket draped over his shoulders after hanging over the fireplace to dry. He could stay like this in his own arms for hours.
It took a bit of time, but Zeppeli and Jonathan's bodies reemerged. The old man wore his hat once again.
"Hope you kids enjoyed it while it lasted, because we are not doing this again." He then affectionately teased his own mustache. "You would not believe how much I missed this old thing!"
Erina, in Jonathan's body, was much less enthused. She wasn't angry or saddened or even terribly upset, she just seemed… uncomfortable. Her body language was closed off, drawing inward, her arms crossed across her broad chest, hands wrapped around her thick biceps.
"Erina…" said JoJo, voice soft with sympathy.
"I'm alright, dear," she assured him as she had before, "I just… wished we could have saved this level of intimacy for much later. For ourselves."
He understood her sentiments perfectly. She knew him now as he knew himself, with every nook and crease and cranny. They had those plans for the wedding circling around them for a while, and thus their inevitable consummation. That moment of discovery where the pair finally fully opened themselves to each other had been robbed from her. It made him ache to think about.
"Come down here," he said. She lowered her head and he held it in his hands, gently turning it to the side. He gave her a kiss on the cheek as consolation. Even JoJo, who took all of this body swapping business shockingly well, apparently drew the line at kissing himself on the lips. Nobody could blame him for that.
Robert, watching this, felt almost a twinge of jealousy towards… what, his own body? Because it technically got his first kiss with Jonathan before he did. But it was Jonathan already in there, so…
"Gah, this is confusin'..." he mumbled, scratching his head, "We can't switch back soon enough…"
"Well, come then," said Erina, beckoning him to follow.
Once they were alone together walking down the hall, he ventured to ask, "So… how is it?"
"It's… better than Zeppeli's. I feel more comfortable being Jonathan than some old man I barely know. But it's not nice , at least for me, the same way I imagine you feel right now."
"Well… there's worse bodies you could get stuck in. You're all toned and handsome. You should feel a little lucky in that regard."
"True." She smiled a little, like she had a secret. "Can I... tell you something, Robert? Something a bit off-color?"
"The floor's yours!"
"When I swapped with Zeppeli into this body, the first thing I did was... touch his... backside."
Robert snickered. "Ya mean his ass? Erina, did ya sneak a lil' squeeze there? Huh? A nice handful?"
Erina went red. "Robert!" She shoved him playfully, but forgot for a moment her excessive strength, and had to quickly catch him before he toppled over. When all that was sorted, she said shyly, "Well... it's a very nice butt. Very… distinct. I wanted to make sure it worked."
"It is a very nice butt," he agreed.
They came to the point where they were ready to switch.
Erina grabbed his hand. To an ignorant observer this might have looked like Jonathan initiating a waltz with his sweetheart with how close they stood. Those sky blue eyes sucked Robert in effortlessly.
"Oh my God, he's gorgeous…" he gaped, "He's so handsome and I get to be him for a minute."
She frowned a little. "Well, don't sound too excited about leaving." She echoed him from earlier, "There's worse bodies to be stuck in."
"I know, I know…"
They did the deed and soon Robert was woozy on the floor again, as the misadventure began. And the first thing he did was cup a hand around his buttcheek. Oh, yes, definitely Jonathan. Thanks for the tip, Miss Pendleton.
"Why did you make fun of me for that if it was the first thing you were planning to do?"
He lifted his head. "Wasn't planning nothin', just kinda happened. Besides, I was more makin' fun of you fer bein' so coy about it." His Ogre Street vernacular sounded so bizarre filtered through Jonathan's sweet, boyish tones. He never thought he would miss the gruffness of his voice, but here he was.
Erina helped him steady himself. Already, she was looking much brighter, much more… well, herself. And Robert was getting there, because at least he was in a body that was gender affirming if not his own. And what a body it was…
"I'm bloody huge…" He twisted around, getting a good look at himself. And there it was, that glorious butt, but also those thick thighs and calves, that tree trunk of a torso, that chest, those arms…
"Robert…" she said with a stern inflection.
His gaze snapped away. "Right, right." He wryly slapped himself on the wrist as punishment for ogling. "Naughty boy."
Erina couldn't help smiling at the joke. It would be hypocritical if she didn't, considering she definitely browsed through her lover's merchandise upon waking as well. She knew it likely wouldn't matter to JoJo, so long as everyone was themselves again and safe at the end of the evening.
"It's strange being taller than you," he admitted out of the blue.
She made her own attempt at humor. "Yes, well, it was strange being taller than me, too."
He chuckled at the bluntness of that, and thus the inanity of his previous comment. Of course it was strange, this whole situation was strange! He was in Jonathan Joestar's body for crying out loud! And Jonathan was in his!
That thought was sobering now that he had the time to think about it. JoJo was in Robert's body and knew how his heart fluttered whenever the other man showed him affection. He knew Robert was completely smitten to the point of Pavlovian response. But it didn't bother him in and of itself, in fact it seemed to make him realize his own feelings. Mr. Joestar was so empathetic, he and Erina were so lucky…
"Would you like to go back out now?" she offered.
"A'course!"
He marched shortly behind her with a spring in his step, before promptly bashing his head against the doorframe. Erina burst with laughter before quickly aiding his balance again. He tried to take it in stride but one could see from the purse of his lips and his crossed arms that he was bruised physically and in terms of ego by the slip-up.
They walked in and Jonathan and Zeppeli were quietly conversing. Erina shuffled over. "He's all yours, dear."
The two men slowly approached their own bodies, their faces lined with caution.
"Robert?"
"Yeah?"
"Are you ready now, or do you need a moment?"
"Maybe just a... tick to breathe, I think..."
Jonathan understood. Deep Pass Overdrive was a grand swan song of a technique. It made sense after doing it twice in a short time frame his body would be a little worn out. In fact, Speedwagon was likely downplaying the severity of his fatigue for JoJo's sake.
"Take all the time you need."
Robert did. He sat down and drew in deep breaths, letting his head drift back and eyes flutter closed. Zeppeli and Erina huddled around him, concerned for his health. Jonathan wasn't worried, though; he knew his body well and could see all it needed was rest.
"Don't crowd now, just give him some space," he said, coming between them and gently pushing them away.
They waited and waited. Zeppeli scrounged up the remains of his sandwich from the hardwood and ate it without regret. When Erina made an appalled face at him, he told her, "Oh, floor sandwich is definitely not the thing punching my ticket, honey. Trust me."
Jonathan watched Robert's chest rise and fall. There was something comforting in the visual, so calm and easy. It was… cute. His own body was attractive to him now physically, but Robert's growing comfort was even more endearing to his soul.
Robert took his time, then gathered himself off the couch. "Let's put this behind us, huh?"
"Right behind you." He had to admit, he was going to miss the hair.
Jonathan spoke softly, trying to explain what Zeppeli had done. His teacher was quick to aid him, and so was Erina to translate it to layman's terms. Robert tried his damnedest to both take it all in and keep his focus square on JoJo, lest he repeat his mistake from before.
It happened. The final Deep Pass Overdrive. Well, really the penultimate Deep Pass Overdrive, but Zeppeli wasn't keen on letting that slip again. Erina and Zeppeli helped them both back on the couch, because after all that they likely wouldn't be able to stand for quite a bit.
"Are you yourself again, dear?" she asked JoJo's body when it came to.
"Mm-hm."
"Ughhh…" Robert leaned his head against Jonathan's shoulder. "Does all hamon make you feel like shit after?"
"No, this was a fairly unique situation."
Robert whined and Jonathan used his head as a chinrest. He felt Robert jump a bit in surprise but neither said a word. Then, JoJo nuzzled his face into his hair and took in a deep breath.
"Smokey…"
"Huh?"
"When I was you, I was trying to figure out what you smelled like, since apparently you get a snout full of me whenever I'm around. My nose isn't as good as yours, but you have a sort of… smokey smell. Like a campfire. It's sweet and cozy."
That was an adorable way to say I smell like Ogre Street's dirty air, Robert mused, snuggling his head further into JoJo. Goodness, he was wiped out.
"I'm glad I'm me again," Jonathan whispered, himself teetering on the edge of a nap, "That way I get to enjoy it."
Before they both drifted off, he had one more thing to say. "Oh, and Robert?"
"Mm?"
"Let's forget that first kiss and take a raincheck on it. I want to be special."
"Dunno. It was pretty special to me…"