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The man approaches Luffy from behind, sword in the air and violence in his eyes. But Luffy doesn’t turn. His eyes remain as they always do, fixated on the world in front of him, charging forward and wreaking havoc with reckless abandon. Looking back is not his job, it’s Zoro’s. Luffy does not react to the man behind him because he knows his back is covered, protected with all the fierceness in the world by his first mate who is always there.
Only this time-he isn’t.
Zoro knows there is no time. He’s too far, there’s too much distance in between him and the pirate towering over Luffy. He runs anyway.
He hurtles between pirates pushing his legs faster, faster. Make it. Please make it.
He doesn’t.
Luffy’s arms are slowly retracting from a devastating bazooka and his stance is firm. By the time he sees the silver glint of the sword coming down, he cannot move, his arms retracting keeping his body in place.
Zoro is only feet away when steel hits rubber. The world slows. Metal, inching deeper into flesh, Luffy, turning wide-eyed to look at Zoro as blood comes out of his mouth. Zoro’s sword comes up seconds late, stopping the attack from finishing, from carving his captain in half. But not before it finds its target. A flash of steel and the pirate is dead in an instant and Zoro does not linger to watch him fall. His attention turns solely to Luffy as he catches the rubber man when he falls forward. As gently as he can manage Zoro flips him over, dropping slowly to the ground to cradle Luffy in his lap.
The sounds of fighting go silent, they are filtered out, unimportant din in such a critical time. What stays is Nami’s scream as Luffy falls. Her cries echo over the sound of Sanji's swearing as he runs closer to his crewmates on the ground protecting them as they sit on the deck.
Zoro hears the multitude of reactions of his crew but processes none of them. His eyes are locked on the man in his lap, taking rattling breaths as red flows from his mouth. His hands are wet, blood seeps between his fingers and drips onto the deck until he’s kneeling in a pool of it. Suddenly everything is red. The world is that same shining crimson that stains his captain's face and the blades at his feet, haphazardly dropped to catch something even more precious.
He feels like he can’t even breathe, the world is constricting, pulling tight around him and his captain. He’s shaking. Luffy looks straight up at him and smiles, teeth stained red with blood. And Zoro may as well have been the one who put it there. The act takes the last of his energy and Luffy’s unconscious, going slack in Zoro’s arms and resting his hand against his shoulder. The world is blurred with motion around them as the fights rage on. Zoro doesn’t care. All he can look at is Wado Ichimonji sitting in front of him, blood spreading to stain its white hilt. The creeping crimson a stain on more than just the sword.
There’s a hand on his shoulder. He doesn’t look to see who it is. He stands, bringing Luffy up with him as gently as he can manage. Zoro’s carried Luffy before, between hugs and injuries his arms know the weight of his captain as they know the feel of his swords. Never has he been so heavy.
He walks in the direction the sudden hand on his back guides him too. Voices sound around him. An argument. He doesn’t care. He’s got the world in his hands.
Eventually, he must reach the infirmary, because his captain is carefully pulled from his frozen arms. They stay in place for a moment, before they fall to his sides, and again the hand is guiding him out. Probably to allow Chopper to work in peace. Zoro knows that's the best course of action to help their captain. Chopper works faster with no one else around. Zoro knows this. But he can’t- he can’t leave. The hand is shoved off of him and his body moves abruptly, finding a chair and throwing himself into it. His head is in his hands as he hears an argument again, doesn’t care to listen, and it ends as soon as it started. His mind hasn’t let anything in, shock filtering everything but the still body of his captain. However, he can hear Chopper muttering to himself as he works. Whether it’s an act of pity for his sake or if that’s how he usually works Zoro doesn’t know. He listens as their doctor works and learns that Luffy’s wound is serious. He knew that. It cut through his spine and began to breach his lungs, it would have completely if Zoro hadn’t intercepted. Their only stroke of luck was that blow came diagonally from the right, if it had come from the left, it would have hit his heart and Luffy would be dead.
The irony of the wound is not lost on him, as he sits in the small infirmary, listening to the miscellaneous sounds of surgery. A slicing wound from above and behind.
The axe shines as it lifts above Luffy’s head and drops, it’s intent to bury its blade deep within rubber and flesh. Only suddenly Zoro’s there, cutting into the Marine Captain before the blade hits its mark. The sound of metal singing as Morgan falls and Zoro and Luffy stand together, a signal, a sign of a beginning.
“Nice, Zoro” It’s the first time Zoro allies himself with Luffy. The first time he fights with him and for him. The first time he finds himself protecting his back. He grins.
“Thanks, Captain.” The first time he calls him captain.
This wound is what he imagines to be a spitting image of what injury Luffy would have taken that day. The damage he would have sustained if Zoro had not been there. It was the fight that solidified his purpose as Luffy’s right-hand man, his first mate and the beginning of an unspoken promise to always be there. Until now.
His body sags even further into the chair, position listless and reminiscent of a rag doll. He tilts his head back to stare at the ceiling and closes his eyes. His energy is spent, he feels like he’s been in a fight for hours and his body is tired enough that he feels as though he could sleep for weeks. Apparently, his mind does not agree.
He’s restless.
A direct contradiction to the exhaustion he feels in his bones. His brain keeps replaying what happened over and over like a broken record intent on driving home the severity of his blunder.
They were in a fight, that’s nothing new. A large pirate ship pulled up alongside them and figured they could overpower the Strawhats with sheer numbers. Fools the lot of them. Not that Zoro minded. They’ve been traveling for a week now on open water and he’s been itching to fight. Sanji and Luffy evidently agree as the latter immediately rockets into battle after hearing the challenge and the cook follows right after.
The Sunny is soon engulfed in the battle, pirates swarming from the enemy ship to get a good crack at the Strawhats. None of them are exceptionally skilled fighters, but the sheer number of them adds an element of challenge as the Strawhats get surrounded. His blades sing through flesh with ease and pirates fall around him by the dozens. There are so many he can’t even find it in himself to be upset at their lack of fighting prowess.
Nami and Usopp seem to think the opposite as he hears them screaming in terror over the familiar sounds of combat. Luffy, on the other hand, seems to agree with him as he laughs while punching the shit out of anyone who gets close. Using his Conquerors Haki to thin their numbers a bit is foregone in favor of a drawn-out brawl. Zoro grins at his captain's delight at the battle and turns his attention to a pair of pirates who are approaching.
They’re taller than the rest and each wields a large broadsword that looks about as tall as Luffy. Kitestsu sings in his hands at the challenge and he charges at them rather than wait for them to get close. Enma and Kitetsu meet two steel swords as both pirates swing in unison to block the incoming hit. Elated at the prospect of a more challenging fight, Zoro grins and bares his teeth around Wado. Lightning flies past them as Zoro leaps back and prepares another strike. Nami flies by behind him and gives him a quick slap on the head. Electing to ignore her for once–save for a quick eye roll–he charges again and the fight really begins. The pirates are content to play on the defensive at first, together blocking the flurry of strikes that Zoro seals out, however, once they realize they have no opportunity to strike offensively, they split and circle him.
Eyeing his opponents Zoro turns slowly to follow their movements in a brief moment of stillness before the battle resumes and he charges the one to his right. The man backs up quickly as he runs, leading Zoro away from Luffy’s position without him noticing. Zoro unleashes a Tiger Trap as he rapidly approaches and the man barely has time to recover from the hit before Zoro is on him again, swords flashing as he attacks. The enemy pirate is large and strong enough to wield a giant sword but clearly lacks the swordsmanship to back it up. The man is felled within three minutes and Zoro stares at his fallen form as he lifts a hand up to wipe the blood off of his cheek. His gaze lifts up to find another opponent before he remembers that this man came in a pair. He looks around him, but the hulking man is nowhere to be found. So where….?
Suddenly his blood runs cold. Zoro twists around so abruptly his neck cracks. Behind him, he sees the telltale yellow flash of a Strawhat, followed by a glimpse of red and a blinding grin as rubber arms stretch out to deliver the iconic Gomu gomu no bazooka. He also sees the pirate who stands behind him. A large man with a lengthy broadsword. The sword raises, and Zoro runs.
It’s not the first time that Zoro has been completely immersed in a fight. He lives and breathes violence. Swordsmanship has called to him from a young age, the steel in his veins, the burning in his heart. He loves a good fight. Only despite the chaos of battle, he carries with him an important job.
Protect the captain.
First mate is a position that has such importance that if someone had told him he’d be someone’s first mate more than two years ago, Zoro would have laughed in their face. The title carries with it the respect of the captain. It’s his right-hand man and his most trusted ally. The first mate is the one the captain depends on in times of crisis and expects to have their back at all times. It’s a title that Zoro has carried with pride.
It remained untarnished, golden, and shining in the light of his reliability and loyalty. Thriller Bark polished it beyond belief. Marineford broke it over its knee. His once-invincible pride as first mate was shattered then, only just finished being slowly and painstakingly welded back together over the course of two years. And here he was staring at its broken pieces once again.
If the first mate’s sole purpose was to support the captain, then what good is he? Zoro may as well have been the one who cut Luffy down considering how negligent he was of the situation. He was so obsessed with the prospects of a good fight he couldn’t keep an eye out for his captain. Now here he was, sitting in the infirmary, Luffy dying on the table in front of him.
The blood crusted on his hands itches. He doesn’t move.
The pirates are long gone, his swords abandoned somewhere on the deck and here he remains, every noise from Chopper a reminder of his failure. What is a first mate worth if he can’t achieve the goal that embodies the title of first mate? Nothing. He’s nothing. Zoro is worthless if he cannot protect his captain. This view is so contradictory to his old one that he nearly snorts.
Long ago he made a promise with Luffy that if he got in the way of Zoro’s ambitions he wouldn’t hesitate to run his sword through his stomach. Ironic, considering how now his ambitions encompass Luffy’s and including the ever-persistent aching need to be there to help him reach those goals. And Zoro almost became the reason he didn’t.
Time in the infirmary blends together. Zoro can’t tell if they’ve been in there for minutes or hours, the only constant is the quiet noise Chopper makes as he rustles around in his doctors tools, finding the medical equipment he needs as he works to save Luffy’s life.
Eventually, it quiets and Zoro opens his eyes. He blinks once, to clear away the burning he feels in them and his head drops to look at Chopper. The reindeer is cleaning up, wiping a rag across the counter to get rid of the blood staining it. The same blood that colors his pants red and coats his hands to the point where it looks like he’s wearing gloves.
He resists the urge to punch something.
Chopper looks up at him in mild surprise, as though he hadn’t expected Zoro to be watching him. Zoro looks at him for a moment longer before tilting his head slightly towards where Luffy lies motionless on the table. Chopper’s face scrunches up as tears come to his eyes and he says “He’s going to pull through.” And relief spreads through his body like a drug and he’s limp once more on the chair, thanking whatever forces of the universe that exist that Luffy hadn’t left them yet. Chopper's gaze lingers on him, as though debating the worth of telling him more details of Luffy’s condition. Zoro inclines his head.
“So?”
“So… his spine and spinal cord were cut nearly through and the blade of the sword began to puncture one of his lungs. This would just about be a death sentence for most people but Luffy…” But Luffy’s Luffy and his healing rate was incredible. All of this information Zoro already knew.
“Yes, I knew that, you talk when you’re operating,” that elicits a small blush from Chopper. “When will he recover? What are the repercussions?” The reindeer sighs and sits down at his desk.
“Honestly? I’m not sure. Luffy has an incredible rate of healing and a habit of surprising people. I’d say he’d be up and moving in two weeks because he’s an idiot and recovered fully in… two months? It’s hard to say with him. There shouldn’t be many issues afterward, I think the main issue will reside in keeping him from reopening any of his wounds, one well-placed gomu gomu no balloon and he’s back in here.”
No repercussions. In some way, it makes Zoro sick. Not that he’s upset that Luffy’s going to recover and be back to normal, it’s just… It’s just as though there’s no punishment for his failure. There are no consequences in store for his mistake and he hates it. He knows Luffy like the back of his hand, Luffy will never blame him, but that doesn’t mean he won’t blame himself.
“And… will it scar?” The doctor flinches at the question. It pains Zoro to have been the one to make him go through this.
“An injury like that… there’s no way he gets off without one. Sorry, Zoro.” A scar. A burn scar on his front to remind him of when he failed to support him and a long scar on his back as a reminder of when he failed to protect him. Maybe that’s his punishment. No matter what angle he sees Luffy from he will always be reminded of his failure. A fitting punishment for such a large mistake.
Chopper leaves the infirmary and it’s just Zoro and his unconscious captain sharing this depressing space together. Suddenly alone, the air around Zoro becomes suffocating. The infirmary becomes a shrinking box, constricting upon him and pushing closer to Luffy’s lifeless form. It’s hard to breathe. Zoro can’t take it anymore and leaves, abruptly and stiffly shoving himself out of his chair and exits the room. He makes no effort to look for the rest of the crew as he heads for the crow's nest immediately and climbs up. The blood on his hands stays.
Like the infirmary, time in the observatory blends together. Not to be one to occupy his time entirely with thinking Zoro does some mild weight lifting. The familiar clink of the metal creating a steady rhythm to close his eyes to and feel comforted by. As he sits though, images of Luffy in his lap, eyes glassy and teeth stained crimson puncture his reps. The thoughts won’t leave. Neither will the guilt.
The cook comes by to leave a meal next to the trap door. Zoro says nothing. Sanji turns to leave, stops, looks at him, and opens his mouth before stopping that too and climbing down the ladder. Zoro doesn’t know what he was going to say. He finds that for once, he wishes just a little bit that Sanji had said something.
He’s not hungry. He eats anyway.
The metal weights he adds to the bar fall and clink together, in his head they become the sounds of his swords falling to the ground as his captain falls into his arms. He adds another weight.
At some point the sun begins to set, the blue sky giving way to a picturesque rainbow of purples and reds. The cloud patterns make it one of the most beautiful sunsets he’s ever seen. He shuts the blinds.
Like the cook’s appearance sometime in the middle of his self-isolation, Nami comes in unannounced. She’s carrying his swords with her and after she climbs out from the trap door she sets them on the bench opposite him. He’s thankful for that, he didn’t think he could handle being handed his swords just yet. Especially Wado which, despite appearing to have been intensely cleaned to clear the trace of red from its hilt, still bears the imprints of it in his mind. Zoro sets the weight down and watches as she walks over and sits down next to him.
It's silent for a few minutes, as if she’s ruminating on what she wants to say. Zoro closes his eyes. The wood beneath them creaks with the sway of the waves below.
“I don’t get to see her, you know.” Zoro cracks an eye open. “Vivi.”
Both eyes are open now and Nami shifts slightly in her seat.
“She’s a world away, still in Alabasta, no doubt getting herself into a world of trouble.” She gives a small laugh which he returns with a slight smile. “I’m sure you’ve seen our letters at some point, I know everyone has. It’s nice to talk to her, to be able to know what she’s doing, for her to know how I’m doing.
“But it’s not the same.” Her face turns toward the windows, where the blinds still block the last dregs of sunlight from sneaking in.
“It’s not the same as seeing her in person, hearing her voice, holding her,” Nami’s voice wavers a bit. “Knowing she’s alright.” She’s staring at the windows with wistful eyes, as though she can see beyond the gray cloth and across the sea to a desert kingdom and its princess.
“You blame yourself for what happened.” Nami’s eyes find his and he can only handle their intensity for a few seconds before he turns away. Nami’s the only one–save Luffy–that can read him like this, like he’s an open book. Though, he supposes, he hadn’t exactly been hiding his thoughts as of late.
“But you don’t stop to think about how you’re the only reason he’s still here. Late isn’t the same as absent. Slow isn’t the same as not being able to be there at all.”
There’s something in her voice that makes Zoro turn back to face the navigator. Grey eyes meet brown and suddenly he sees emotions that Nami’s been holding onto for years. Nami can’t be there for Vivi the way he can for Luffy. He’s able to stay by his side when Nami can only stare into the distance and plead with whatever gods may be out there to keep her safe. He sees heartbreak hidden in her eyes, peeking out from the walls she keeps up religiously around her.
It hits him then, how big this is for Nami as well, for someone who plays their emotions so close to her chest they may as well be behind it to bare them all for Zoro to see so suddenly.
He stares at her. She stares back.
There’s a call of a seagull outside that draws his eyes to the blocked windows. When his eyes flick back she’s standing up, moving across the room to the exit.
“He loves you too you know.”
She opens the blinds as she goes.
He lets her.
Zoro’s not sure how long he sits there, staring at the horizon, when Sanji returns, his blonde head peeking out from the trapdoor. One look at the expression on his face has Zoro speeding towards the exit and practically sliding down the ladder.
The crew is gathered around the infirmary door where Chopper stands, fidgeting. When he arrives his thoughts of charging right in slip away and suddenly he’s nervous. The crew parts for him to reach the door, but when he gets there his feet stall and his hand hovers just above the door handle. It shakes.
He glances to the left and sees Nami there, who rolls her eyes and makes a small shooing motion. Zoro returns it with a small smile and turns the handle. The door swings open and he steps over the threshold into the dim infirmary. Zoro walks forward until he’s at the foot of Luffy’s bed and stops.
Luffy’s eyes are closed. The door swings shut with a small click behind him.
The anxiety from before comes back full force and Zoro suddenly has no idea what to do. He’s saved from his panic abruptly when a pair of brown eyes slide open to look at him.
Luffy takes one look at his awkward shuffling next to the bed and grins at him, nodding toward a chair at his bedside. The familiar smile eases something in him and as Zoro sits he feels the most calm he’s been all day. He eyes Luffy, giving him a once over to ensure that he’s alright despite Chopper’s go ahead and his captain watches, bemused. When he’s certain Luffy’s not going to keel over and die during their conversation he lets their eyes meet. He opens his mouth, but before he can get a single word out, Luffy interrupts him.
“Thank you, Zoro.” Zoro's eyes widen as Luffy stares over at him with a crooked, tired smile.
Moonlight slips in through the windows, shining from just above the waves on the horizon.
Thank you? The boat rocks slowly. Thank you? He didn’t do anything! He failed at his job and Luffy of all people shouldn’t be thanking him, especially before he even got the chance to apologize... Zoro stares at his captain incredulously for a few seconds before sputtering, “W-what for?”
“For being here.” He says simply, the light of the moon casting a glow on his features. And suddenly Zoro is back in the crow’s nest, Nami beside him, brown eyes intense.
He loves you too you know.
The tears come before Zoro can even register what’s happening. His eyes are locked on his captain, laying in bed after almost bleeding to death and he’s comforting him. Seeing that stupid grin on his face reminds Zoro of what an anomaly he really is.
Luffy doesn’t measure someone’s worth by how well they complete their job or serve the crew. He holds his bonds above everything else, respects people's need to protect their friends and values those feelings more than anything. The brown eyes meeting his tell him that Luffy does not care that Zoro didn’t make it in time. He cares that Zoro stayed by his side, a steadfast presence in a short time of uncertainty. He cares that Zoro cares, and to him, that’s all there is to it.
It’s such a Luffy thing. Of course he would thank a friend for failing to protect him, of course he’d be oblivious to their failure, of course he’d worry more about their wellbeing than his own, of course he would be an absolute idiot.
Zoro tells him as much, intent on getting across Luffy’s idiocy this time. His captain, however, just laughs at him. Rather than keep up his reprimanding act, Zoro lets himself smile too and he relaxes in his chair, letting Luffy’s childish laughter wash over him. It has a feeling akin to feeling the warmth of the sun on your face as it breaks through a particularly long and dark thunderstorm, it’s rays bringing salvation through the breaking clouds. The off-kilter feel of the world suddenly slides back into place.
They sit together the rest of the night, small smiles and grasped hands illuminated with the starlight that seeps through the windows from the evening sky.
Luffy will always be Luffy. Idiotic, stubborn, reckless, impatient, childish, gullible, fierce, loyal, protective, determined, fun-loving, and so beautifully Luffy.
And Zoro will always be right beside him.
Such is the way of the world.