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Part 1 of how to (accidentally) start a cult
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Stats:
Published:
2020-11-22
Completed:
2021-03-08
Words:
21,050
Chapters:
10/10
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2,225
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27,540
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5,540
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Q. A. B.

Summary:

One month after @hawks_unofficial's initial viral post, the blog titled "Quirk Analysis Blog for the Future", otherwise known as "Q. A. B.", has gone from an average of 10 views per post to an average of 20,000 views per post.

Midoriya Izuku does not know how to view the impressions analysis for his suddenly popular blog, and only notices that sometimes, people actually comment on his posts now. He does not google himself or his moniker and thus does not see the rise in online articles and speculation.

He is unaware that the "kyuu-ei-bee" he begins to hear about in passing refers to his own blog. He does not have a Twitter account.

At the time, Midoriya Izuku is 15 years old.

Izuku (accidentally) starts a cult.

Notes:

this fic uses custom skins. you may need to click the Show Creator's Style button at the top of the web page to view it as intended. ngl it looks hella ugly if you don't.

this work formatted to look nice specifically on a largish android phone (ie, my phone), using the default ao3 settings (ie, white bg). it should be okay-ish on other platforms but like. ios does some weird stuff, and on desktop i just think some of the effect will be spoiled; but ymmv.

have fun <3

(EDIT: im leaving the original author's notes as a testament to how i, too, was once human.)
(EDIT2: [11/9/23] re-coded the entire fic with the QAB2 skin. probably because im insane. also fixed some typos and added some new sections. probably introducing more typos. let me know if you see any!)

Chapter 1: QAB gets noticed

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text


 

 

 

 

Tweety Bird
@hawks_unofficial

@SirNightEye lolol get a load of this guy quirkanalysisblog.com/posts/versatil···
is he wrong tho

07:21 · 3 June · Twitter for iPhone

509k Retweets and comments 1.1M Likes

 

 

 

 

 

 

The majority posts on the virtually unknown and largely unpopular personal blog titled "Quirk Analysis Blog for the Future" are lengthy, rambling, nonsensical, and largely impartial dissertations on various quirks. Some of these dissertations are obviously based off of popular heroes of the last decade. Others are seemingly observed from first hand experience. The write-ups, while not poorly written, are rather dry and ill-organized. Some interesting points are made. Some illogical conclusions are drawn. The posts date back almost three years.

An unverified Twitter user claiming to not be the Pro Hero, Hawks (largely believed by the user base and the independent media sources to be the Pro Hero, Hawks) shares the most recent of these posts on an otherwise uneventful Sunday afternoon, a few hours after its initial posting.

 

 

[quirkanalysisblog.com/posts/versatility-vs-strength]

 

 

Versatility VS Strength

by Shuttai on June 2, 20X4 - 3 Comments

Was anyone else watching the late-night interview with the interns from Nighteye's agency because can you even BELIEVE that Lemillion guy??

"My quirk isn't strong, I am!", bull S#!T.

You think you'd get as far as you have if you had a mutation quirk that changed the color of your fingernails?? NO. YOU FREAKING WOULDN'T HAVE. GOD. I hope no impressionable children were watching your interview, because that sort of mindset is contagious and DAMAGING AF.

As you can likely already tell, this post will be a departure from my usual format. We will be discussing the difference between "versatility" and "strength" and why they're the SAME FREAKING THING.

(IF I EVER SEE YOU IRL: LEMILLION, I WILL PUNCH YOU IN YOUR GOSH DARNED PERFECT PACMAN FACE.)

[...]

 

 

[Twitter DMs for the account @hawks_unofficial]

 

 

Sir Nighteye

Hawks, I must ask to speak with you concerning the blog post you shared publicly this afternoon. Please call my office at your earliest convenience. Yesterday, 20:08 Alternatively, if you could be bothered to answer your phone, that would serve my purposes just as well. Thank you. Yesterday, 22:09

2 unread messages

idk who u thnk i am but this isnt hawks 2:43 ✓ Hawks, please. You and I both know that it is. 2:48 who is ths "hawks" person nvr heard of them also y nt jst rply publicly dude do u nt kno how the internt works 2:50 ✓ I am painfully aware of how data transfer and storage works on services owned by third-parties, so while I would very much appreciate you answering your phone, if I have no other choice then at least I do not wish to have this conversation in a public setting. 2:51 dont get out much do u uuuggghhh how r u STILL typng i dont wanna read ur essay 2:53 ✓ I don't think you understand the potential gravity of this kind of publicly facing information. The blog post in question publicly disclosed concerningly viable ways of bypassing the quirk belonging to my intern, Lemillion, to accomplish the goal of "punching him in the face". It was phrased lightly as if a joke, but the methods are quite possibly sound. I will require more investigation to know for sure.

Though the content contained on this blog would appear to the untrained eye to be harmless speculation, in the hands someone who would wish harm upon a given hero, these speculations could be weaponized.

It is possible the author of these posts realizes the potential ramifications of his actions. However, without further proof as to the author's intent, I have no grounds with which to pursue his identity or to enforce that he remove the article on Lemillion. So I ask again; 2:57 what makes u thnk i kno anythg i just thought it was funny 2:58 ✓ You tweeted a direct link to the post not three hours after it was posted. From the average fan base of the site BEFORE 24 hours ago, you were one among the tens of people following this person's blog before you caused them to "go viral", as they say. 2:58 as who say "the kids"?? "as the kids say"?? 2:58 ✓ Hawks, please. 2:59 no nighteye YOU please. pls i need ths im dyng 2:59 ✓ Are you willing and able to assist me in tracking down the owner of this blog? It would appear that there were several posts of a more personal nature that were available to the public previous to this incident. I have only been able to retrieve but a handful. 3:00 no &no 3:00 ✓ Very well, then. I'll be taking this up with the hero commission. 3:03 what y wud u do that what wud that do i mean haha whos that y wud i care 3:04 ✓ The hero commission should be alerted about any hero obstructing a case for their own benefit. 3:04 good thing im nt a hero then? 3:06 ✓ Well then. It sounds as though you have made your decision and I have no choice on the matter. 3:06 bro y u do me liek ths im nt evn hawks this is y no 1 wants to partnr w ur agncy bro 3:10 ✓

 

 

 

 

crawler
@TheRealCrawler

i like how the first quirkanalysisblog.com post is unironically done on all might. all might fanboys unite!!

15:22 · 4 June · Twitter for PC

3 Retweets and comments 15 Likes

The Idol Hero @PoppingStarStep · 1d
Replying to @TheRealCrawler
Lol. Nerd.

1 5 41

crawler @TheRealCrawler · 1d
you can't be a nerd for liking all might, it's a fundamental trait that all humans share

2

 

 

[Discord server, "·̩̩̥͙＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚Hawks˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊·̩̩̥͙: #1 in our Hearts"]

 

 

# troll-debate

100+ new message since June 5, 20X4

Hawks simping 101 Today at 12:24
I agree with evie

dylusional Today at 12:24
yep yep

hawks' #1 wife Today at 12:24
Have either of you read any of the posts? sure the one he linked to with his twitter account was a pretty fun read, but the older stuff is BOOOORING

Nata Today at 12:24
not to mention scattered, you'd think the guy had never written a technical paper in his life lol

Ahhhh! Raptor! Today at 12:24
🤣

hawksXmirko4life <3 Today at 12:25
No way Hawks actually likes it, he's just trolling

dylusional Today at 12:24
but then like why would he even link it? it didn't seem like a joke

Nata Today at 12:24
his ongoing public fued with Sir Nighteye is more than enough motivation

Red Today at 12:24
Time's up! Vote with your emojis! 🤡 for "troll" and 💘 for "sincere"!
🤡 54 💘 12 🤷 32

 

 

[quirkanalysisblog.com/posts]

 

 

Quirk consultation #1: Bubble blowing emitter quirk

by Shuttai on June 08, 20X4 - 316 Comments

Thanks "fishduplex" for your submission! Let's get right down to it: have you analyzed the chemical make-up of your exhales? Because assuming they contain [...]

Read More

Amateur quirk consultation?

by Shuttai on June 07, 20X4 - 540 Comments

Not to make anyone mad, but some of you complaining about how lame your quirks are, are just misinformed! My passion is quirk analysis, and I'd like to [...]

Read More

Seeing as I have your attention,

by Shuttai on June 05, 20X4 - 221 Comments

I think a lot of new readers are discouraged by their quirks. And that's okay! You don't have to have a perfect hero quirk to be a hero to someone else. If [...]

Read More

Uhhh...

by Shuttai on June 04, 20X4 - 4003 Comments

Wow, okay I didn't expect that to blow-up. Also PRO HERO HAWKS WAS READING MY QUIRK BLOG? WHAT?? I'm SO EMBARRASSED, please tell me he's not still [...]

Read More

 

 

[LINE messaging application on the phone belonging to Tamaki Amajiki.]

 

 

The Tres Amigos (3)


Tue, Jun 6, 20X4

Nejire Hey hey Mirio, didja see that article about you?? :o 05:30 Mirio I did indeed! Sir Nighteye was kind enough to forward it along. 05:41 Nejire and?? what did you think!! are you mad? do you know him? do you think he has a personal vendetta!? is this the beginning of the rivalry to end all rivalries?? 05:43 Mirio It was clearly a very well thought out rebuke of my actions! 05:48 Nejire it was kind of a lot, right? he said so much! 05:50 Nejire I read it but I didn't really get it!! XD 05:50 Nejire are you scared? do you think he's gonna come and punch you in the face? have you ever been punched in the face before? 05:50 Mirio Sir Nighteye did have some concerns but I think it's fine! I'm taking it for what it is. A thoughtful criticism of the current way I use my quirk, and a warning to be more careful with my words. 05:58 Nejire aren't you mad? 05:59 Mirio I'm a little disappointed in myself, honestly. I never realized that my words could cause much upset for another individual. I do think my words were taken out of context but that's also something I should have considered, as heroes are so public facing. But I plan to work on it and be more careful in the future, and I'm glad I found this out now rather than later 06:05

screw that dude Read 2
06:08 Mirio Wow, this is really early for you, Tamaki! I hope we didn't wake you 06:10 Nejire :ooo sleeping beauty's awake!! 06:10

oh um don't worry about it i just wanted to say that that blog guy is wrong and he doesnt know anything and that i know how hard you've worked to get here and yea thats all hope you're not feeling bad about it anyway i'm going back to sleep now good night Read 2
06:15 Mirio Thank you very much Tamaki! 06:16 np... Read 2
06:16 Nejire lolol goodnight Amajiki-kun!! 06:16

 

 

 

 

Notes:

name of the file this fic lives in is "THIS IS NOT A CULT, GO HOME, midoriya screams into the abyss, convincing no one", just thought u should know
i am... incredibly sorry for the incoming wall of text.
 
technical notes/taken liberties:
- the intelligent members of the fandom commonly agree that bnha does NOT take place in the year 20XX, and mathematically, likely takes place in 22XX or 23XX. HOWEVER; the anime makes several references to 20XX, so uh that's what i went with. also the anime makes references to "yahoo news" (and no way yahoo is gonna be around that long) so i feel justified in just saying bnha is set in a parallel modern day universe. therein also lies my justification of the abuse of modern day social media sites.
- the reason i used 20X4 is bc bnha released in 2014 and im afraid i may need to increase the year counter at some point. (the first draft just used 20XX, but that was before things got ~out of hand~.)
- "shuttai" is an alternate reading of the kanji used for "izuku" (well... sort of. don't think about it too hard)
- ive decided to include japanese honorifics for. reasons? (i think i had a real reason at one point but i cant remember now so im just going to trust past!me on this one.)
- - i have spent several hours watching random bnha clips youtube and hulu in the original japanese to figure out what everyone uses for honorifics bc they sure do localize bnha, dont they :/ i had to guess on a few.
- in japanese, when you're talking to (or about) someone on the internet, you generally use '-san'. im going to be taking a looot of liberties here and mixing and matching the way engish speakers and japanese speakers talk to each other online, partially for convenience, partially for flow. (you probably wont notice, but ive lost sleep over it.)
- we're using military time bc thats the staple in japan.
- after mirio comes to terms with midoriya's blog post, he changes his online handle(s) to "pacman". i have yet to smuggle this in anywhere and am incredibly sad.

warnings:
- i have NOT figured out the theoretical days of the week for this theoretical year bc my brand of crazy only takes me so far.
- im pulling from the bnha:illegals crew. just know they exist i guess? (koichi, kazuho, and iwao.)
- i have several ideas for how this fic will go, but rn im only promising you "part 1". part 1 will be standalone. part 1 is complete sans editing and sans a metric buttload of html.
- i do not know html. i've spent the last two weekends learning (/suffering) and being forced to create my own workskins bc ao3 hates spaces.
- i played around with a lot of different types of formatting before settling on what i hope comes across as "minimalistic but still recognizable and nice to look at". if i did not succeed, i only want to know if it's a small, fixable thing; otherwise, i prefer to live in semi-satisfied ignorance. thank you for your understanding and cooperation.
- i am still not happy with the spacing between lines during texting rants but i am also very, very tired. i might circle back.
- i am still not happy with how i've got sort-of-but-not-really right-aligned text working, but this is likely NOT changing bc ive spent the last 8h just getting it to this point.
- i have not quite decided how to handle transitions and am liable to change it. suggestions welcome, i guess?

final notes:
- if you notice any weird errors (particularly in the html) please, please let me know!
- google now thinks im a robot and i have to keep clicking the 'im not a robot' captcha. apparently googling html terms is suspicious??
- ive never had to make such a detailed timeline in my life and i dont care for it at all and now that we're live im just praying i dont have to go back and change the timeline and all the date/timestamps AGAIN
- ao3, why u no support flexbox :(

 

(update: PoppinBoppin made a website like a total madlad, just thought y'all should know (does contain spoilers tho! if you're new to the series and care about that.))