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Izuku stared at Aizawa's back tiredly and sighed. Usually, he'd be scribbling away in his workbook at the mere prospect of learning more about the emergence of heroes, but he found that his heart just wasn't in it today.
He hadn’t slept much the night before and the quirk training that his class had completed last period was still on his mind, draining all of his energy in more ways than one. Not only was Izuku physically exhausted from it, but his mind was also reaching its wit’s end. Every time he closed his eyes, instead of strategies and new ways to adapt One for All, his vision was filled with very distracting images of Todoroki.
The two of them had been sparring partners for their training and it had started off great. Both of them had been performing quite admirably, he reckoned, until his crush had somehow managed to burn his shirt off again, causing Izuku to stumble on his feet for a moment. Eventually, he had managed to pin his friend to the ground, claiming his victory in front of the class, but it didn’t stop there. While his peers had let out a series of whoops, Izuku could focus only on the way Todoroki had gazed up at him, flustered and panting heavily; he looked like he wanted to tell Izuku something.
He was jolted out of his stupor when a clump of paper hit him across the face and fell onto his desk. Looking at the offending material with suspicion, he discreetly opened it to find Uraraka's handwriting staring back at him.
“Todoroki-kun is watching you.”
Izuku looked up to meet his friend's knowing eyes and scowled. Uraraka merely smirked in response and wiggled her eyebrows suggestively.
Unable to stop himself, he lobbed the paper back at her. The ball hit his friend square in the forehead, eliciting a surprised shriek from her. Izuku felt a little guilty when Aizawa turned to look at her, unimpressed, but that didn’t stop a smug grin from plastering to his face.
He then chanced a look back and found Todoroki gazing at him almost longingly. When they made eye contact, Izuku’s eyes widened and he quickly whipped his head back around, trying to ignore the heat flooding to his cheeks.
Todoroki-kun was watching me!
'Deku-kun, you can't keep going like this!'
'I can, I shall and I will.' Izuku replied easily, gathering his things into his backpack. The last bell had just rung, prompting Uraraka to immediately bolt out of her seat to nag him about Todoroki.
'Come on! He totally likes you back! He hasn't taken his eyes off you since you straddled him in front of the class - not that he doesn't always stare at you, but usually he has more tact-'
'Uraraka-san, stop. It's not gonna happen.' As much as he knew that his friend was only trying to help, he didn't like it. Uraraka was giving him hope and Izuku had learnt early on in his life that hope almost always ended in disappointment.
He sighed heavily. 'He doesn't even think of me that wa-'
Suddenly, someone tapped him on the shoulder and Izuku leapt several metres into the air with a shriek, promptly bashed his head on the ceiling and collapsed to the ground with a groan.
'Midoriya!' Todoroki knelt down beside him, his expression one of concern, while Uraraka's distant cackling could be heard in the background. 'Are you okay? I didn't mean to scare you.'
'N- No, it's okay, Todoroki-kun! Sorry for worrying you.' He accepted his friend's outstretched hand and pulled himself to his feet, dusting his clothes. Izuku then peered up at his crush to find him staring at his shoes, clearly nervous. 'What did you want to talk about?'
Pink dusted Todoroki's cheeks and Izuku had to refrain from outwardly cooing.
'Can we talk in private?' He rubbed the back of his neck, quickly glancing at Uraraka, who seemed to take the hint, for once.
'Okayyyy! Meet you two back in the common room!' As she bounced past them, she gave Izuku a knowing look and mouthed details later, before shutting the door behind her.
Silence fell over them then, broken only by Izuku's rapid heartbeat that was drumming in his ears. He watched as Todoroki shuffled on his feet and scratched his cheek out of habit.
‘I’ve been wanting to tell you for a while but I’m not very good with words, not like you are. I tried writing it down, practicing in front of a mirror - I even asked Yaoyorozu for help, but I don’t think it was very useful, so I gave up and tried to forget about it.’ Todoroki swallowed heavily and raised his eyes to where Izuku’s tie was. ‘But I can’t. Everywhere I go, I think of you; your smile, the way you can light up an entire room, everything about you is just so unforgettable.’
‘Todoroki-kun...’
‘And then we had that sparring session and you pinned me, but I wasn’t even mad about losing. All I could think about was the way you were looking at me. You looked so gorgeous and I felt so lucky. I wanted to tell you as much, but then everyone started cheering, so I didn’t, but in that moment I realised that if I don’t tell you, I’ll regret it for the rest of my life, so here it goes.’
Todoroki finally looked up to meet his eyes.
'I think I'm in love with you, Midoriya.'
Izuku's heart stopped.
Before he could comprehend what was happening, someone grabbed his hand and pulled him into an empty classroom, shutting the door behind them.
Taking in his surroundings, Izuku turned to find Aina, a girl from his class that he had harboured a crush for, for a while now. She looked at him through heavy-lidded blue eyes. Immediately, a blush formed across his face and Izuku swallowed thickly - no one had ever looked at him like that before.
'Er… I-' His attempt to gain some insight into the situation was quickly stifled by his inability to speak without stuttering. 'Wha- How can I he-'
'I think I'm in love with you.' She suddenly exclaimed, passion laced in her voice.
Izuku blinked once, then twice… Then he scrambled to hide his face with his arms as the weight of the confession finally hit him.
'WHAT?!' He squeaked a little bit too loudly.
Aina relaxed a little bit and smiled softly at him.
'I said, I think I'm in love with you.' She stepped forward, now less than a metre away. 'You're so handsome and intelligent. I've had a crush on you since last year. I didn't want to say anything because you're too good for me, but I just can't keep it in anymore.'
Izuku took a step back, but Aina just took a step forward to counter him. 'I want to be with you. Please, Midoriya-kun!'
So many thoughts raced through his mind. Aina wanted to be with him?! Aina, who had guys fawning over her 24/7, who was smart and athletic, and had such a useful quirk that allowed her to create basic foods. She really loved him? Quirkless, useless Deku, who liked to mumble to himself and carry around notebooks full of information about heroes that he had never met? It was almost laughable.
‘But I’m quirkless.’ He tilted his head to the side in question. ‘I’m a crybaby who mutters to himself. You can’t possibly like me.’
Aina chuckled quietly at that, which further confused Izuku.
‘I don’t care if you’re quirkless - you have a big heart and that’s all that matters.’ She took another step forward; Izuku blushed at the proximity. ‘I love it when men cry and you’re not afraid to speak your mind. You’re inspiring, Midoriya-kun, truly.’
Izuku knew he shouldn’t believe her - years of developing a thick skin had taught him not to trust anyone… But Aina was looking at him with such sincerity that Izuku allowed himself to hope that maybe it was real. After all, he had always tried to look at things positively. Maybe it wasn’t too bad to allow one person into his life? Aina had never given him any reason to doubt her - she never picked on him like Kacchan and the others did.
‘Really?’ He whispered, tears brimming from the corner of his eyes.
‘Really.’ Aina replied. She rose to her tiptoes and wrapped her arms around Izuku’s neck, eliciting a small squeak from him.
So close!
‘Can I...’ Aina bit her bottom lip, a blush forming across her cheeks. ‘Can I kiss you, Midoriya?’
Izuku's breath hitched and, before he could stop himself, he nodded awkwardly.
Aina laughed and whispered, ‘Close your eyes.’
Izuku swallowed heavily and complied. His eyes fluttered shut and he waited, frantically trying to calm his breathing as his heart pounded against his chest. He felt Aina edge closer to him, until her breath fanned his face and he could smell her perfume. He exhaled shakily, parting his lips in preparation. However, before their lips could meet, his crush suddenly ducked to the side.
She chuckled and whispered into the shell of his ear. ‘Did you really think someone like me could love a quirkless freak like you?’
Izuku’s eyes shot wide open and his stomach dropped when Aina stepped back to smirk at him. She wasn’t alone though; while his eyes had been closed, several others, including Kacchan, had filtered into the room and were staring at him. Some glared at him with disgust, others sniggered with amusement, while Kacchan sneered at him with outright disdain.
‘I- I don’t understand.’ Izuku stuttered out, stepping backwards and knocking the back of his legs against a desk.
‘This is a lesson, Deku.’ Kacchan spat, while Aina grinned from his side. ‘Never hope for anything in your miserable life. You’ll never be a hero.’ He stepped forward. ‘You’ll never have friends.‘
He took another step; Izuku could see himself in the reflection of Kacchan’s crimson irises. ‘And you’ll never be loved by anyone except your poor mum who has no other choice.’
He set off an explosion in Izuku’s face then, knocking him back against the desk. The moment he fell, Aina called out ‘Now’ and the others in the room bustled to action. Before Izuku could comprehend what was happening, several eggs were thrown at him. The first one cracked against his chest, padded by his uniform, but when the next one hit, he wasn’t so lucky. A brittle shell cracked against his forehead, sending its runny innards trailing down his face and sealing his eye shut.
Izuku hastily tried to wipe the yolk away, but when another egg slammed against his left temple, he cried out and curled in on himself. Forgoing any attempts to clean himself or fight back, he crawled into a ball position and waited it out as several more eggs smashed against him, until his shirt was sticky and his hair was plastered to his face.
He wouldn’t cry though. He refused to give them the satisfaction. He panted to control his breathing and when his peers eventually stopped, he gingerly raised his head from his arms. He rubbed at his stinging eye and sat up to find Kacchan and Aina standing over him.
‘Have you learnt your lesson yet, Deku?’ The blonde spoke dangerously. Before Izuku could even open his mouth to respond though, Kacchan raised his arm and, using his quirk, threw his final egg at him.
It struck his nose with a crack and blood shot out of his nostrils. Izuku cried out then, the sheer power behind it sending him back to the dirty floor. Cracked shells dug into his face as he used the sleeve of his uniform to pinch his nose.
Aina bent down then and Izuku stared at her as best as he could with his one working eye. Any feelings he had for her had quickly transformed into a deep loathing that he had only ever felt towards Kacchan.
Blood trickled down into his mouth and Izuku spat it out onto the carpet, indifferent to the way it mixed in with the yellow yolks around him.
‘Anything to say?’ She asked, voice sickeningly sweet. When Izuku remained silent, she snorted, before standing up and following Kacchan out of the room. However, when they reached the door, she looked over her shoulder at him, her words echoing across the room.
‘You are nothing.’
‘Midoriya? Midoriya, are you okay?’
Izuku sobbed into his hands, eyes squeezed shut as he crouched down. When Todoroki called his name again, the ghost of egg shells cracking against him tickled his skin cruelly and he found himself pushing his friend’s hand away when he tried to touch him.
‘You don’t mean that!’ He shouted, hating how wet his voice sounded. Why Todoroki? Out of all the people, why did it have to be him? Was this another cruel joke? Was Kacchan going to appear with the rest of his class and taunt him like last time?
'I do mean it.' Todoroki pressed, voice almost pleading.
'You can't!' Izuku grit his teeth and pressed the heel of his palms to his eyes. 'I trusted you! Why are you doing this?!'
'I- I'm-' His crush stuttered through his words, the hurt in his voice echoing that of Izuku's heart. 'I'm sorry. I just needed you to know-'
'You're lying!' Izuku exclaimed, tearing his hands away and looking up at Todoroki with red-rimmed eyes. Any other time and he would've quickly noticed just how distraught his friend was, but right now, his mind was plagued by the sniggering faces and humiliating taunts of his peers. He felt nothing but the ache of the purple bruises that had stained his skin for over a week after the incident. He thought of how he had opened his heart once before, only to have had it thrown back in his face.
He blinked as more tears escaped him. 'You don't love me! No one can love me. I'm useless Deku. I am nothing!'
'What are you talking about?' Todoroki frowned; a look of anger flashed across his face and he knelt down to look Izuku in the eye. 'That's not fair, Midoriya. You don't get to tell me how to feel. You don't have to like it, but I love you. Feel free to hate me, to push me away, to wish I was gone from your life forever, but do not call me a liar when I've never been anything but honest with you!'
Izuku froze at that. Memories of when he had finally told Todoroki about One for All came flooding back to him. He remembered how upset his friend had been at the prospect of Izuku not trusting him, how he had promised never to lie to Todoroki again. He remembered how his friend had promised to do the same, even though he had no reason to, and at that moment, Izuku finally realised how foolish he had been.
This wasn't Kacchan or Aina. This was Todoroki, kind, brave and caring. Todoroki, who had followed Izuku into danger more times than he could count. Todoroki, who constantly told him just how amazing he was.
Todoroki... Who had just told Izuku that he loved him.
'Fuck.' He muttered to himself, running his hands down his face. 'I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, Todoroki-kun. I wasn't- I didn't…'
'What's wrong?' Dichromatic eyes searched his own for answers. 'Please, Midoriya.'
'This has happened before.' Izuku admitted, wiping his runny nose with his sleeve. He took a deep breath and retold what had occurred all those years ago. As he spoke, he noticed the anger that had resurfaced on Todoroki’s face, albeit it was not directed at him this time.
When Izuku finally finished explaining, he exhaled and looked away, rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly. ‘Well, now you know.’
‘Midoriya-’ Todoroki began, shaking his head. ‘You- You know I would never do that to you, right?'
Izuku remained silent. Todoroki was right - he knew deep down that he had no reason to doubt his friend, but the nagging voice in his head didn’t care about logic.
Todoroki sighed heavily. ‘You’re my best friend, my first ever friend. I would never intentionally hurt you. I meant what I said before. I love you and we don’t deliberately hurt the ones we love. You taught me that. Be that as it may though, I understand that you don’t feel the same way about me and that’s okay. I can push my feelings aside for the sake of our friendship. Having you in my life is already more than I deserve-’
‘No.’ Izuku reached out a trembling hand and rested it against his friend’s scarred cheek. ‘I don’t deserve you. You’re- You’re amazing, Todoroki-kun, and I-’
He turned away then and bit his lip. It was silly - Izuku had always worn his heart on his sleeve. Why was it now so difficult for him to tell his friend how he was really feeling? He trusted Todoroki with his life, yet something was holding him back.
You’ll never be loved by anyone.
His vision blurred.
You are nothing.
A hand came up to rest against his own and Izuku’s head shot upwards to find Todoroki nuzzling his cheek against his calloused palm. Izuku stared unabashedly at his friend, at the way his jaw relaxed as he gazed right back at him, at the way his dichromatic eyes shone like the sky as the classroom light reflected off his brimming tears, at the way his cheeks were dusted a slight pink and radiated warmth from the contact, and at the way his mouth was slightly upturned as he urged Izuku to carry on, even if it meant rejection.
Todoroki’s courage inspired his own.
‘I- I love you too.’ Izuku squeezed his eyes shut. ‘Truly, I do, and it scares me. It scares me because so much could go wrong. Even if you’re not cruel like Kacchan and Aina, something else could go wrong and I don’t think I could take it if that happened.’
‘Don’t you think it’s worth the risk?’ Todoroki gently removed Izuku’s hand to intertwine their fingers. ‘There’s always a possibility of something going wrong - even if we weren’t training to be heroes. The one thing I am certain of though is that I would never hurt you. I would hold you and treasure you and there isn't a person alive who could stop me from caring about you.’
Izuku's body moved before he could comprehend what was happening. He threw himself forwards and tackled Todoroki to the ground, eliciting a surprised grunt from his friend. As they fell, he held the back of Todoroki's head to protect his crush from the hard floor, not minding the way his knuckles stung slightly from the impact.
'Todoroki-kun…' Izuku nuzzled into his friend's neck, warmth seeping into his very core when gentle arms wrapped around his waist. 'You truly are perfect. Nothing could ever stop me from caring about you either. I love you. I love you so much, and I'm sorry. I'm sorry for doubting you. I'm sorry for-'
'I forgive you.' Todoroki leant his cheek against Izuku's hair, arms tightening around him. 'You were scared. I know what that's like, but you helped me, remember? Let me help you.’
Izuku’s tears drenched his friend’s uniform, but Todoroki said nothing, instead rubbing soothing circles across his back as he sobbed against him. When his eyes eventually dried out and his voice was hoarse, Izuku finally pulled away to look down at his friend. The view was oddly reminiscent of their fight from earlier.
‘Can… Can I kiss you, Midoriya?’ Todoroki asked, raising a hand to cup his jaw.
Izuku smiled down at him, before nodding once. He had had crushes before, but nothing compared to how he was feeling right now. Todoroki wasn’t just some crush, he was his friend, and Izuku would do anything for him without a second thought.
‘Yes.’
Todoroki flashed him a soft smile, before gently guiding Izuku’s head down, lifting his own to meet him halfway. Izuku met soft lips and he felt warmth that he hadn’t known was possible. Their noses bumped together and neither of them seemed to know what to do next, but it was more perfect than he could have ever imagined because he was kissing Todoroki.
‘I love you.’ Izuku whispered against his mouth, relishing in the way Todoroki let out a breathy laugh in response before pressing another kiss to his lips.
Yeah, hope led to disappointment most of the time, but nothing about Todoroki could ever be disappointing to Izuku.