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“Have you had many lovers before me?” Xie Lian asked, with his eyes on the ceiling, as he lay next to Hua Cheng on the cosy bed he had prepared for their use during the renovation of his Mount Taicang cottage. It had been a few days since the latter’s return from his vanishment and, by now, to put it plainly, Xie Lian was no longer a virgin.
He was asking this kind of things because they are the kind of things someone who has spent their eight-hundred-year-old life in self-imposed abstinence thinks about. He had actually thought about it for a while before asking, but he could not determine a likely scale for the number of lovers in Hua Cheng’s past.
Upon first meeting him, he had believed Hua Cheng a man of the world and had assumed that he would often frequent brothels and other such places, even once suggesting so to his face, before being promptly corrected by the man himself. Later, he had learned that Hua Cheng had long had his eyes on a special someone; at the time, he had not been aware that this person was him, but he had still supposed that, in order to prove his dedication and win this person’s heart, Hua Cheng would refrain from fooling around extensively. Of it, however, Xie Lian was hardly certain, since, during that period, his mouth had often been on his own. Eventually, he had learned that this special someone had been him all along, but a lot had been happening all at once and his mind had been too full to have an opinion on the matter. It was only when he had finally done the deed with Hua Cheng personally that he had gained first-hand evidence of the other’s proficiency in this sort of activities. He had discovered, although he had really never doubted it, that he was vastly knowledgeful in the art of seeking and giving pleasure, leaving him with no doubt as to the fact that he was experienced.
All of a sudden, he had not been able to stop himself from asking.
With the question still pending in the air, Hua Cheng curled up his lips, as if diverted.
“Would a high number bother gege?” he enquired serenely. That was sometimes his mood when they rested side by side together.
Xie Lian frowned. Would that bother him? he asked himself. In the end, he believed that it was not sensible for someone as old as him to be affected by the natural experiences of another’s life, so he concluded that, if ultimately Hua Cheng’s intimate history did actually bother him, he would try not to let it.
“No, it wouldn’t,” he told him, putting up a smile. If he wanted to be true to his intention, that seemed like the only coherent answer.
“Pity,” Hua Cheng said, his tone curt and still retaining a hint of amusement, “I was hoping it would.”
Despite his best efforts, Xie Lian was starting to recognize that some undesirable feelings had indeed begun to stir within him and this light teasing was not making his situation any easier. He was even a little bit unnerved that Hua Cheng might find enjoyment in his jealousy, especially when his sentiment was firmly rooted in reality. Still, he was strong and disciplined, so did not let himself be distracted by his feelings, as his concerns were still on the unanswered question. He thought that, perhaps, Hua Cheng might believe the answer might bother him after all.
However, his companion was actually quick at picking up on his emerging distress and thus shifted his conduct from teasing to soothing.
“What does gege think?” he asked softly.
Although Xie Lian had definitely some thoughts and beliefs on the matter, he pondered for a moment on what was all right to say.
“I think San Lang must have had several. Of lovers, I mean,” he said, after a while. “Unlike me, you took no vows of abstinence and, like me, you are eight-hundred years old. It cannot be helped.”
“But gege knows that I have remained on earth for eight-hundred years only because I wished to be with him. If it’s you that I want and if you know how I am, it should follow that I would not take an interest in anyone else.”
“Still, you must have taken a lover at some point, if not out of interest, out of curiosity or out of lust, which I can’t say you lack. And, of course, you are clearly experienced.”
At these words, Hua Cheng burst into a loud, wild laugh. Xie Lian sighed, wondering why his companion could just not give him a straightforward answer.
“Don’t laugh at me,” he said, when the other would not stop.
“I am not laughing at you,” Hua Cheng said, calming down. “It is just that I am both terribly amused, but also terribly embarrassed. You are asking me a question I do not quite know how to answer.”
“I think it is a very simple question,” Xie Lian said, not really knowing his companion to be one to suffer from embarrassment and being still confused by the merriment of his outburst, “but I realize that it might overstep your boundaries, so please do not feel pressured to answer it. I do not need to know.”
“I wish I could choose not answer it, but I also would not have gege get away from this conversation with the impression that I’ve had a thousand lovers. The point has been raised and, now, I am afraid it must be addressed.”
“Then just say you’ve had a few.”
“I can’t bear the thought of having gege think I’ve had a few lovers either.”
“Can San Lang really not have had any?” Xie Lian asked with surprise. “Aside from me, that is to say.”
It did not seem possible, yet it also seemed that Hua Cheng might be saying so. As for his talents in bed, they might easily be explained as a natural predisposition, as in ‘he was good at that like he was good at almost everything’. He looked at him expectantly and waited for a response.
“The way gege means it, I could not say that is the truth either,” Hua Cheng said.
At this point, Xie Lian’s face was in visible agony and it was all because of his confusion. He was almost starting to suspect that, due to his celibate lifestyle, he had neglected to learn something about the nature of carnal desires that would have clarified to him the situation immediately. He needn’t have wondered, for, while he feared ignorance of common wisdom, what he ignored was not common at all.
“Things are like this,” Hua Cheng went on, “what actually happened, it’s not a big deal and I’ve never thought much about it while I was doing it. It seemed convenient and even logical; I’m sure that, if I were put in the same circumstances, I would do what I’ve done all over again. It is now that I find myself in the position of having to tell another — all the more so because that person is you — that I do not know how what I’ve done might be perceived or received.”
“Maybe you are thinking too much about it,” Xie Lian said, not seeing the light after this cryptic speech. “Either you have had lovers or you haven’t, I am not asking about the details.”
“Sometimes the details make all the difference.”
They stared at each other for a few seconds.
“Ok, gege, I’ll suck it up and tell. I have had sex!” Hua Cheng said with a big smile.
It had been as Xie Lian had expected, but he could not understand why Hua Cheng would tell him such a thing with such a bright expression. He was again filled with undesirable feelings and their prominence rose to show through Xie Lian’s scowl.
“But do not be jealous,” his companion continued, “I have had no lovers other than you.”
Xie Lian wished for his head to be eaten by the pillow so that he would hear or think no more. If, for a moment, he had rejoiced in the apparent plainness of the admission, he now deemed clear that the other had just been messing with him from the beginning.
“Even if you didn’t love them, you know that’s not what I meant,” he spoke up, somewhat dejected. “Anyway, the matter is cleared.”
“The matter is not clear at all,” Hua Cheng said.
“I do not need to hear more.”
“But I need you to hear, because you are taking it to heart. Honestly, I don’t care for judgement, but you have such a good opinion of my skills in bed that I don’t want to see you laugh at how I gained them.”
“I promise I won’t laugh.”
“Good. But are you ready? I do not want to shock gege.”
“I can only promise that I won’t laugh. It’s very easy to shock me when these things are involved.”
Then Hua Cheng turned to the side and raised a hand to prop his chin, shifting with one move further into Xie Lian’s space.
“I’ll just say it in one breath, before I regret it,” he began and truly followed through with it. “I’ve been with many men, but they were all my clones.”
Just that, he did not say more.
Xie Lian took a very long while to, first, understand the words in the sentence, second, understand the meaning of the sentence and, third, realize what that sentence meant once it was applied to Hua Cheng.
When he managed to do all three, he was suddenly overcome by one of those silent, yet chest-shaking laughs.
“You said you would not laugh,” Hua Cheng admonished him, but Xie Lian could not defend himself, as the laugh had escalated to the extent that it was preventing him from speaking.
It took a minute for him to regain control of his wits.
“I can only be entertained because I cannot be astonished,” he said at last. “It is so arrogant and yet so typical of you to feel the traction of your instincts and yet disregard the options available to you because you consider them beneath your level. You found yourself wanting, but you could not be satisfied with any of the alternatives and so you had to resort to such measures.”
“You cannot fault me for finding no one else worthy of my attention,” Hua Cheng declared. “I can’t stand anybody but you. So what if I was horny and couldn’t have anyone else?”
That surely had to be an interesting application of the line ‘No cloud is beautiful but that which crowns the peak.’