Archive of Our Own ^beta

Aizawa is furious. His typically relaxed body is stiff with tension. Any trace of softness, any hint of weariness, has been beaten away and fashioned into something severe and unforgiving. 

For the first time, Aizawa has become something he has never ever been to Class 1A - he's frightening. Their teacher is standing at the head of the classroom like a wrathful angel. Beneath the messy strands of his dark hair, his eyes are black and unforgiving. 

His cold gaze is focused, fixed, as he studies the scene before him. Izuku is strewn across the floor, the remnants of his desk scattered far and wide. Kirishima’s skin is still half-hard, the boy had used his quirk in a hurry, to ensure that the splintered wood had speared him instead of his classmates. Todoroki seems to be on the verge of hyperventilation, the sudden burst of violence having taken him by surprise. Then, there’s Katsuki, who stands in the middle of the classroom, at the epicentre of the chaos. His fists clenched tight, his gums bared, as he glares at Izuku like a wild-eyed tyrant. 

'Get out of this classroom, right now,' Aizawa says, his voice low and strung with danger. 

Katsuki turns to gawk at his teacher, at the man’s resolute posture, his fists fall loose as his eyes widen in shock. 

'W-what?' Katsuki asks. Panic starting to set in, as he realises that all of his teacher's anger, all of his disappointment, is levelled squarely at him. Aizawa's not mad at anyone else. He's not telling anyone else to go, to pack up all their things. 

'I asked you to leave,' Aizawa reiterates, moving forward. Far enough into the heart of the classroom that he can put a hand down on Todoroki's desk, to show him that he's there while he deals with this. His fingertips rest softly against the wood. That hand, and those fingers, are the only part of himself that Aizawa allows to convey softness. 

'But, Mr Aizawa-' Katsuki begins, uncertain and upset. His heart is starting to thud in his chest. He can feel his breath catching at the base of his throat. 

'This is a classroom,' Aizawa reminds the blonde boy sharply, his eyes are a little softer now, but they're still not right. They're still not how they usually are when he looks at Katsuki. They're a thousand miles away from normal, from nurturing, from loving. 'This isn't a place where you can behave like this.' 

'I-I'm...' Katsuki stutters as he looks around himself, at the mess he has made, all because Izuku had irritated him. Is that all it had taken for him to do this? One question too many and he'd blasted Deku to the ground, obliterated his desk, put his classmates at risk, and pushed Todoroki to the verge of a panic attack? Is this who he really is? Is this the real Katsuki Bakugō? Unhinged. Explosive. Dangerous. 

'You do not do this,' Aizawa continues evenly, still rooted beside Todoroki. 'You do not get mad like this. You do not hurt others like this. This is a safe place, where no one has to worry about violence, or explosions, or fear. You will not do this here; you will not treat your peers with such little respect. Do you understand me, Katsuki?'

'I-I…' Katsuki says dumbly, as he shakes his head. He never meant for this to happen. He never meant for any of this. 'Mr Aizawa, I didn't - -' 

'I understand you,' Aizawa reminds him, with such tenderness that Katsuki feels his eyes fill up. 'But I can't have this. I can't ignore this. I have to protect everyone in this room. Even if that means I'm protecting them from you .'

'No, Mr Aizawa,' Katsuki cries, as tears start to slip down his cheeks, he barely registers the shock on his classmates' faces. Katsuki feels like all of his worst nightmares are coming true. 

'Please. Please, don't give up on me,' Katsuki sobs as he sinks to his knees and bows his head, his forehead pressing against the cold floor. He needs Aizawa. Aizawa is one of the few people in the world who still gives him the time of day, who understands all of his bluster, and sees him for who he is. 'I can't- I can't not have you. No one else - no one… please. No one else believes in me… sensei, there's no one else. I don't have anyone else…' 

The classroom is eerily quiet. 

'Katsuki,' Aizawa says, closer now, as he kneels down in front of his student. He runs a warm hand across his shoulders. Katsuki flinches. 'Katsuki, I'm not giving up on you. That's not what this is. I won't ever give up on you.'

'Shit! I can't do this anymore,' Katsuki grits out, his fingernails scratching against the floor as he keeps his forehead pressed to the ground. 'I don't know what's happening to me. But I just… everything feels so heavy all the time. I feel like I'm drowning. Sensei, I feel like I'm drowning all day long.'

'Katsuki, get up,' Aizawa says, his heart is breaking. 'Let's go and talk in the office.' 

'No,' Katsuki bites out firmly. 

'No?' 

'Please, don't make me leave? I'll be better,' Katsuki begs; his classmates shift uncomfortably. 'I can try harder. I can be kinder. I can be good. I can be good .' 

'You are kind,' Aizawa reassures him, as a wave of nausea rolls through him. How had he not seen this coming? Had he been too careless - too placated by the fact that they're supposed to be leaving for his cabin tomorrow? 'You are a good person, Katsuki. Why don't you come with me so that we can talk? Okay? Nothing bad will happen. You're still one of my kids. You can come back after we've talked, I promise. Alright? I'm not taking anything away from you, but I need you to come with me so we can talk about what's happening, about what's been happening with you, alright?'

'Please, don't lie to me, you're tired of me too, aren't you?' Katsuki all but whispers and Aizawa feels it like a punch. 'I just can't be loved like other people can.'

'Katsuki,' Kirishima whispers from behind him, in a disorientated gasp. 

'That's not true, and I'm not tired of you,' Aizawa promises, moving his hand up, pressing it softly against the back of Katsuki's head. 'Please, get up. You shouldn't be down here like this.'

Katsuki lets out a cruel laugh, 'I don't know, I think I have a lot to be sorry for.' 

Aizawa shakes his head, trying to figure out how to make this better. 

The school bell rings; it startles everyone in the room, no one moves. Lunch will never seem as important as this does. 

Aizawa looks around at his students, 'Is anyone hurt?' 

A chorus of 'no's echo around the room briefly and Aizawa nods, he looks exhausted. His earlier stiffness now replaced by a deep, sagging desperation. 

'Izuku, do you feel okay?' Aizawa presses and the green-haired boy nods frantically. 

'I'm fine,' he says. 'I was just a little shocked.'

'Eijirō, are you alright?' Aizawa asks, and the red-head shakes his head. 

'I'm not hurt,' he offers quickly. 'But I don't feel good about Katsuki feeling like this.'

'Shōto?' Aizawa asks, turning to glance at the boy who is sitting quietly in his place, his head down, as he taps his fingers rhythmically against his thigh like he's counting. Keeping himself calm. 

'I'll be okay when he's okay,' Todoroki offers honestly. 'I'll be okay when he is.' 

'Okay,' Aizawa says. 'Okay, everyone, I'm sorry that this happened today. Please, go and eat your lunch. You've all been working hard.' 

'But what about Kacchan?' Izuku asks quietly, and it's clear that everyone in the room is worried about the boy on the floor. 

'I'll take care of him,' Aizawa promises. 'If you could give us some space, I'd appreciate it. I know you're worried, but I won't let anything happen to him. And you'll all be back before you know it. Okay?' 

Slowly, they nod and start to filter out of the room. Izuku hesitates at the door before he leaves too. Todoroki doesn't even attempt to move, and Aizawa decides that's fine. So, is the fact that Kirishima has closed the door and has come to kneel beside his boyfriend. 

'Sweetheart,' Kirishima begins softly, leaning down to rest his cheek against the curve of Katsuki's back. 'Everything's okay. I promise. You don't have to be scared.'

Aizawa winces. Of course, he's scared. He's petrified. He just felt his world fall apart, in front of everyone. But Kirishima is right, it's an unnecessary feeling. 

'You should have told me you've been feeling off,' the red-head continues, wrapping his arms around Bakugō's back. 'You promised me you'd tell me when you're not feeling right.' 

'There were more important things,' Katsuki says and Aizawa grits his teeth. 

'You're important too,' their teacher says firmly. 'Everyone is so worried about you. I'm so worried about you.'

Katsuki tuts and moves to sit up, so he's cross-legged on the floor. Kirishima sits beside him, taking one of his hands in his own. 

Kirishima flinches when he hears the boy he loves say, 'Worry about someone who actually deserves it. No wonder you always look so tired, you're putting your energies into things you should leave alone.' 

'You deserve it,' Aizawa says, from his own place on the floor, opposite the blonde. 'Caring about you, about all of you, is not me misplacing my energy.'

'Did this happen because of me?' Todoroki asks then, as he edges towards the little circle at the centre of the classroom. 'I know I make things harder for you, despite what you say.' 

'No,' Katsuki insists quickly, wiping at his cheeks. 'It's not you. It's me. It's always me. It's not you, Icy-hot. Don't think that.' 

Todoroki nods and moves to sit at Katsuki's other side, linking their arms together and resting his head on his shoulder, 'Please, don't be sad, Katsuki.' 

That only makes Katsuki cry all over again. His cheeks puffing out as he lets out little huffs of breath. 

'Is it like before?' Kirishima asks, like he's afraid to know the truth and Aizawa frowns at him. 

'I don't know, a little, maybe,' Katsuki offers; Kirishima presses a kiss against his cheek. 

'You've felt like this before? Like you're drowning?' Aizawa asks carefully, and Katsuki nods. 

'Did you talk to someone?' Aizawa presses. Katsuki hums. 

'Yeah, it hasn't been like this for a while,' Katsuki explains. 'And I don't usually hurt other people.' 

'Other people?' Aizawa asks, his voice quiet, his hands pressed hard against the balls of his knees as he absorbs the implication. 'What about yourself, Katsuki?' 

'I don't do that anymore, so you don't have to worry,' Katsuki says, just as quietly. 'But I am sorry about… about all of this.' 

'I'm not mad,' Aizawa reminds him. 

'You're just disappointed,' Katsuki finishes. 

'No,' Aizawa offers easily. 'I'm worried about you. What happened today, that's not like you. I know you and Izuku have a complicated relationship, but you're not violent.'

'Maybe I am,' Katsuki muses, a sarcastic laugh bursting out of his mouth. 

Todoroki shifts beside him uncomfortably, he shakes his head, 'No you're not, why would you even say that?' 

'Because I blew up a table, because I could have seriously hurt Deku, because Kirishima is covered in bits of wood, because I scared you,' Katsuki lists coldly. 'There's plenty of reasons. And none of them are making me feel like a good person.' 

'Everything scares me,' Todoroki offers quietly and Katsuki shakes his head. 

'Stop making excuses for me!' He shouts abruptly, making the others jump. 'What did I tell you? Both of you? Don't let anyone treat you like shit. I’m treating you like shit, Todoroki. I know you scare easily and yet I still. ..' 

'You're under a lot of pressure,' Aizawa says then, waving off the glare Katsuki shoots him. 'I'm not making excuses for you. I'm pointing out realities. You're not doing well. No, don't argue with me. You said it yourself. Things are too much. Could you have handled this better? Yes. Should you have done that? No, absolutely not. But we can work on it. And we will, Katsuki. No one is abandoning you because things are suddenly harder. Maybe, it'd be a good idea for you to speak to someone every day while we're away, what do you think?'

'I-' Katsuki begins unevenly. 'I can still come to the cabin?'

'Katsuki, of course you can,' Aizawa reassures him. 'How could we go without you?' 

'But what if I...' Katsuki worries, his eyes closing tightly for a moment. 

'Didn't you get upset about this once?' Aizawa asks. 

'About what?' 

'About Shōto making himself into a monster when he isn't one. Isn't that what you're doing here?' Aizawa reasons. 'You're not a monster, kid.' 

'I lost control as well,' Todoroki reminds him. 'So, if you're a monster, then I must be one too.' 

'Are we starting a monster club?' Kirishima asks with a soft smile and Katsuki scoffs. 

'You'd never make the cut,' He teases his boyfriend, and Aizawa has never been so happy to see him smile. 'The only monstrous thing about you is your shitty hair.' 

✻

Kirishima is in the front seat, flicking through the stations of the car’s radio. Pausing whenever he finds a sickly sweet pop anthem that has a sweeping chorus. Katsuki feels like screaming, except he doesn't, because he's feeling drained. Plus, Todoroki is asleep beside him, bundled up in a huge blanket. 

Aizawa doesn't get annoyed by the station hopping either, he's too busy driving carefully, too busy ensuring they all make it to the cabin in one piece. His eyes only flicking away from the road when he smiles at Katsuki through the mirror. His expression soft and natural. 

They've been driving for two hours. Katsuki is getting tired of looking at the road. But he's grateful too - that every single person in the car loves him, believes in him, wants him to be healthy and happy. If only he could convince himself.  He's trying, but it's not that simple. 

Everything is too much. Even one of those stupid pop songs almost has him in tears with its gentle optimism. In fact, he might have started bawling had Aizawa not suddenly pointed out a sign for an upcoming stop, with a small food court and a mini-arcade. 

'Is anyone hungry?' Aizawa asks, his voice as unenthusiastic as ever. 'I could do with a snack and a break.' 

'Oh, yes, please!' Kirishima beams, turning the radio down a bit so he can spin in his seat and say, 'Wanna go halves on the burger and chicken meal deals, Katsuki?' 

'Yeah, whatever,' Katsuki says, unnerved by the fact that Kirishima's gaze is lingering on his watery eyes. He reaches out. He's too far away, so he takes his hand back. 'Katsuki, are you feeling okay?' 

'Sorry,' Katsuki says quickly, wiping at his wet eyes. 'I'm okay.' 

'I love you,' Kirishima smiles, his voice overflowing with affection. 'I love you so much, Katsuki. You know that, right?' 

'Not in front of the teacher,' Katsuki says, his cheeks red, and Kirishima turns back around, to focus on the road as they pull into the stop, a quiet laugh spilling out of his mouth. 

As soon as the car comes to a standstill, Todoroki is awake. Rubbing at his sleep-heavy eyes. A colossal yawn bursting past his lips. 

'Alright, sleeping beauty?' Katsuki asks and Todoroki nods, his mouth stretching into a smile as he pushes at Katsuki. 

'Where are we?' Todoroki asks, trying and failing to orientate himself. 

'We’re just stopping for some lunch,' Aizawa says, turning off the engine. 'And maybe a quick game in the arcade.'

'Oh, cool. Katsuki, wanna team up?' Todoroki asks as he unbuckles his belt. 

'Sure,' Katsuki says, his usual sarcasm falling flat. 'It'll make a change from shitty hair, maybe I can finally get a high score.'

'Hey!' Kirishima complains as he climbs out the car. And, for a second, Katsuki is filled with a creeping sense of dread. Worried that he’s upset the boy he loves. But then he sees how broadly his boyfriend is smiling as he stretches. 

Maybe everything will be okay. 

As they stand in front of the fast-food restaurant, staring up at the menu, Katsuki wonders what they look like. They’re standing together in a little row. What do strangers make of them? Can they tell that Aizawa is their teacher? They don't exactly look related. Maybe they think he's adopted the three of them? That would at least account for how tired their teacher seems. And it's true, in a way, he is their guardian now. He will be for the next two weeks. He'll be Todoroki's guardian for even longer, now that the legal paperwork has come through. 

Katsuki frowns, he wonders what will happen once they're done with school. Once they're all graduated, eager little heroes, ready to prove themselves out in the world. Will Todoroki find someplace to live alone, will he be homeless without the sanctuary of the dorms? Or will Aizawa make space for him in his own home? Does he even have space? Does he live alone? Katsuki has seen the eyes his teacher makes at Present Mic sometimes. Maybe they’re in love. Maybe they already live together? Will Todoroki fit into their lives? Can they make the space that he’ll need to thrive? Is that even possible?

Katsuki's mind starts racing. He closes his eyes, his head is still tilted up, like he's still looking over the menu. He focuses on Aizawa's voice beside him. On how ordinary it sounds, but Katsuki can hear it. How soft their teacher is as he talks to Todoroki. Every syllable drenched in understanding.

'You can pick anything,' Aizawa says. 'The burger looks nice.'

'I don't know...' Todoroki replies quietly. 'It’s so big .' 

'You don't have to eat it all,' Aizawa reassures him. 'If you can't, that's okay. But you shouldn't limit yourself out of fear of leaving food over.'

'I don't like to waste things…' Todoroki explains, and Aizawa hums in agreement. 

'Me neither. But I think it's okay, until you're more confident. Right now, it's better to try. To order too much. Then, when you're sure about what you can and can't eat, then you can pick the smallest thing on the menu. For now, just pick something you want to try. Even if it's only one big bite. '

'But that's a waste of money,' Todoroki worries. 

'It's okay, don’t worry about that. The headmaster gave me enough money to feed you all for a month. And, even if he hadn't, making sure you have options right now wouldn't be a waste of my money. Alright?' 

'Okay,' Todoroki says, and Katsuki can hear the lightness restored in his tone. Aizawa will look after him. 

Aizawa will look after all of them. 

✻

By the time they arrive at the cabin, the sun is almost setting. Still, there's enough daylight for Katsuki to be in awe of how big and inviting the cabin looks. Little solar-powered lanterns dangle from the roof. They glow warm, and yellow, and safe. 

'Whoa,' Kirishima gushes as Aizawa parks. 'This place looks so cool!' 

'I'm glad you like it,' Aizawa says. 'It's your home now, until you're tired of it.' 

'Is that... a barbecue?' Kirishima asks, pointing to a brick installation beside a table and bench set. 

'It is,' Aizawa says. 'I haven't used it myself. But I have it on good authority that it cooks beautifully. Maybe we can try it.' 

'Oh, wow,' Kirishima continues. 'And look at all these trees! So cool. So manly !' 

'Idiot,' Katsuki smiles and Kirishima spins around to grin at him. 

'How many rooms are there, sensei?' The red-head asks, his attention back on their teacher. Katsuki doesn't hear the answer. He's nudging Todoroki awake instead, 'Hey, Icy-hot. We made it to Mr Aizawa's murder cabin.'

✻

It turns out there are four bedrooms. Which is more than enough. In fact, it's the perfect number. But it feels wrong to Katsuki. He doesn't want to be alone. Not right now. Too much quiet. Too much time to think. That's not what he needs. And he's just said as much, which is why Aizawa is looking between them all, trying to find the ultimate combination. 

'Why don't we share,' Aizawa says easily, looking at Katsuki. 'And Eijirō and Shōto can share?'

'Yeah,' Katsuki agrees quickly; still a little rattled from yesterday's unexpected explosion. At least Aizawa can stop him in his tracks. Plus, it's probably against the teacherly rules - letting two teenage boyfriends room together for two weeks. 

'Sounds, great,' Todoroki says, smiling at Kirishima. 'Shall we go and unpack?'

✻

Katsuki is putting his balled socks in a row, inside a drawer, when Aizawa breaks the silence. He’s hanging up his shirts in the wardrobe as he says, 'I'm proud of you, for asking to have a little company when you're not feeling well.' 

'You make it sound like I’ve caught the flu,' Katsuki laughs, too harshly. 

'Isn't it all the same, physical health, mental health, don't they all deserve attention and respect?' Aizawa muses still focused on his unpacking. 

'I guess…' Katsuki says, as he reaches down and pinches his thigh. He lets out a tiny hiss; he feels stupid. He hasn’t done that in a while. In an instant, Aizawa is turning to him. 

'You okay?' Aizawa asks, ready to throw his shirts to the ground. 'Did you hurt yourself?' 

'Nah. Just cramp, in my legs,' Katsuki says, his gaze fixed on the socks in his presence. 'Don't worry about it, Sensei.' 

'You know I will,' Aizawa smiles and Katsuki nods. 

'Yeah, I know.'

✻

It might not be manly, or cool, or exciting but by eight o'clock they're all in bed. Aizawa has just come into the room, his black wash-bag in his hands, a cute cat eye-mask strapped around his forehead. He drops the bag onto the little table beside his bed and slips beneath the sheets. Propped up by the pillows behind him, he sits against the headboard, taking a moment to pull the covers up and over his chest. 

'Try to get some sleep,' Aizawa says, as he looks across the room to Katsuki. 'If you need anything, or if anything happens, just wake me up. I mean it, Katsuki.' 

'Yes, sensei,' Katsuki says, his eyes fixed on the ceiling. He hears Aizawa shift his mask, slide down into the bed, and fall asleep. Hours pass before sleep drags him in too. 

✻

When Katsuki enters the kitchen, Aizawa is stuffing bread into the toaster. At the dining table, Todoroki and Kirishima are sitting beside each other. The redhead has his hands in the other boy's hair. Separating the reds and the whites. It makes Katsuki smile, then a pang of irrational hurt stings him. He's been doing that for Todoroki for so long now, it feels weird to see his boyfriend doing it. Without warning, tears fill his eyes. Katsuki whines and rubs at them. He is not going to start crying about this. He's not. He's not. He's not. Fuck. He already is. 

'Katsuki?' Todoroki asks quietly, openly concerned for him. Katsuki spins around. So, he's facing the wall. He's so embarrassed. Humiliated in his own head, by his own brain. His chest starts to heave. His breath comes out in jagged huffs. It feels like an awful echo of yesterday. Of the day before. Of the day before that. Of the day before that. Of all  the mistakes he keeps making. 

Katsuki jumps when he feels a warm presence behind him. He knows who it is -  Aizawa. 

'Katsuki, take a breath,' their teacher says, his voice pitched perfectly for comfort. 

'Fuck,' Katsuki hisses before grits his teeth and scrubs a fist over his damp eyes. 

'Come with me?' Aizawa asks, even though Katsuki knows it's happening, no matter what. 'You two, have your breakfast. Everything's okay, don't worry.' 

'Yes, Sensei,' Todoroki and Kirishima offer in unison. They’re both stood by the table. They had been intent on moving towards the upset boy. Then Aizawa had realised what had happened and held a hand out for them to stay put. 

Katsuki's vision is a little blurry. He lets Aizawa guide him, he enables the teacher to lead him outside. Towards the table by the barbecue. 

'Have a seat,' Aizawa says softly, and Katsuki lets himself slump down. He feels so tired. And heavy. And worn out. 

Aizawa doesn't sit beside him, even though there's plenty of space on the bench. Instead, he crouches down in front of him. Gazing up at his student, his heart aches. Katsuki's eyes are red, he's rubbed the skin around them raw. Thankfully, he's stopped that now but, as Aizawa's gaze follows his arms downwards, his breath catches. Katsuki is gripping his own leg, his flesh pinched cruelly between his fingers. 

Katsuki's fingertips are white with the effort, but his face is completely blank. Void of emotion. Like he can barely feel a thing. It must hurt, it must, just seeing it is enough to hurt Aizawa. 

Without thinking, the teacher reaches out, puts a cautious hand over Katsuki's. 

Ordinarily, he wouldn't do this. He wouldn't touch a student so directly, not without their permission. But Katsuki is hurting himself, and Aizawa feels like his whole world is tilting.

'Please, don't do that,' Aizawa says, his voice betraying his palpable anxiety. Katsuki looks up, shifting his gaze away from his jeans, his eyebrows are furrowed. 

'Katsuki,' Aizawa urges again. 'Please, don't hurt yourself.' 

Katsuki bares his teeth, pinching even harder, it doesn't hurt as much as he wants it too. As much as he needs it to. 

'Stop that,' Aizawa says, wrapping his fingers around Katsuki's. Gripping his hand and pulling upwards until his hold gives. 'Katsuki, stop it. We don't deal with our pain like this. Do you understand me? We don't hurt ourselves because we're hurting. No matter how much we're hurting.' 

Katsuki stares at his teacher, at the wetness of his eyes. He hadn't meant to upset anyone. He hadn't meant to do any of this. Lately, his thoughts get carried away with themselves.

'Katsuki, I don't want you to feel like this is all you have,' Aizawa presses, still crouched down, their hands still joined. Aizawa strokes his thumb across the top of Katsuki's hand. 'You don’t deserve more pain. I know it can seem like this is the most reliable thing you have sometimes, but it's not. It's a lie. And it's messy. And you don't deserve that. You can rely on me. You can tell me anything. You can cry, and scream, and shout, and swear. Just send it my way, okay? Don't take all of that sadness, confusion, and fear and inflict it back upon yourself. Do you understand what I'm saying?'

Katsuki closes his eyes, he feels a tear roll down his cheek. It stings because his skin hurts from rubbing it raw. 

'I'm right here,' Aizawa assures him, taking a steadying breath. 'And I'm so sorry that you're in this much pain.' 

'Sensei, no,' Katsuki moans, and Aizawa squeezes his hand. 

'It's okay,' the teacher says, his voice full of warmth. 'I'm not upset with you.' 

'I didn't mean to do any of this,' Katsuki confesses desperately, and Aizawa nods. He understands. 'I wanted to be happy here.' 

'I know you did. I don't blame you for anything,' Aizawa says softly. 'You're a strong person. So, I know how hard things must be for you to feel like this. Let me help you? Tell me what happened?' 

'It's silly,' Katsuki confesses, as shame washes through him. 

'I don't think it's silly,' Aizawa promises him. 

'It's just… they looked so happy,' Katsuki starts, and Aizawa tries to understand. 

'Who did?' 

'Shōto and Eijirō,' Katsuki offers before he pulls his hand away from Aizawa's, so he can wipe at his eyes again. He's softer this time. And Aizawa is thankful for that.

Once he's satisfied, once he deems his eyes dry enough, Katsuki reaches down again and twists his fingers into his teacher's. Aizawa jolts in surprise. But he smiles and squeezes his student's hand again. 

'It upset you, seeing them happy?' Aizawa concludes and Katsuki nods. 'Do you know why? Specifically? It's okay if you don't.'

'It made me feel bad because… Shōto doesn't need me to fix his hair anymore, and Eijirō could find someone sweeter to give his love to. And I feel like no one really needs me anymore,' Katsuki confesses and Aizawa's heart flutters. 

'They both need you,' Aizawa reassures him. 'I promise you. Todoroki is so thankful for you. Don't forget, I go to his therapy sessions. I know what he's thinking. I know what he thinks of you. You're a very precious person to him, Katsuki. You helped him speak up, you helped him get away from his father, and now you encourage him every day. You make sure he's safe and happy, regardless of what it costs you personally.'

'It doesn't cost me anything,' Katsuki shakes his head quickly. 'Everyone has the right to be safe.'

'Yes, they do,' Aizawa agrees. 'And you helped him to safety, and you help him stay safe. Do you think you lose value just because others show him kindness?' 

'I… yes,' Katsuki starts honestly. 'Sometimes.' 

'Then let me tell you the truth,' Aizawa says, his voice growing firmer, more resolute. 'There is nothing that anyone could do that would make him forget you and what you mean to him. You have given him the greatest gift in the world: hope. You have given him your friendship, and you treat him with such patience and kindness. I promise you, as someone who once had a hard time at home, as someone who also has a very good friend, you will always, always matter to him.'

'I'm sorry, sensei,' Katsuki says, his voice a little scratchy. 'That you had a hard time too, when you were younger.' 

'Katsuki,' Aizawa says with a gentle smile. 'It breaks my heart, that you can't see how good of a person you are.'

'I..'

'I’m telling the truth, kid. And as for Eijirō. He loves you. Will he love you forever? I don't know. We can't know that kind of thing ahead of time. But he loves you now. That's the important thing. And I know that can be a scary thing. But you don't need to worry about him finding someone kinder, or sweeter, or someone who's not you. He made his decision, and he decided to love you. 

‘Did you know, last week, he came to me and asked me to buy a jar of strawberry jam? He said you like having it on your toast these days and he wanted you to start your days well. They need you, and you need them. And, really, Katsuki, maybe that's what you're afraid of. I'm not trying to speak for you, and I'm not trying to impose my own thoughts onto you, but maybe you're scared because, when you saw them together this morning, you realised how much you need them back. And you don't have to be afraid of that. It's okay to need others. I need others too. Sometimes, I need the person I love so much it's overwhelming.'

'Present Mic?' Katsuki asks innocently before he frowns and shakes his head. 'Forget I asked that; it's none of my business, Mr Aizawa.' 

'It's okay,' Aizawa says, his eyebrows tilted softly, his expression so open. 'It is him.' 

'Can I…' Katsuki starts again before he sighs. 'Ah, it doesn't matter.'

'Is it another personal question?' Aizawa asks easily, not upset in the slightest. 

'Yeah.' 

'Then ask me, let me decide if I'm able to tell you,' Aizawa says. 

'It's just, what will happen after we graduate? With Shōto. You're his guardian now, but what does that mean for him?' Katsuki asks seriously, and Aizawa is visibly surprised by the question. 

'Has he asked you about that?' 

'No.' 

'But it's something you worry about?' Aizawa asks and Katsuki nods. 

'If you can't fit him into your life, I can probably ask my parents,' Katsuki says and Aizawa tilts his head. 

'He fits into my life,' Aizawa says simply. 'Hizashi and I have talked about it a lot. We'll move into a bigger place, so Shōto can stay with us if he wants to. I was going to ask him about it while we're here, actually.' 

'Really?' Katsuki asks, a smile lingering at the very corners of his mouth. 

'Really,' Aizawa says. 'He deserves a shot at stability. I just need to introduce him to Hizashi.' 

'But what if,' Katsuki frowns suddenly. 'What if they don't get on, Shōto and Present Mic, I mean? He's loud, even if he seems... nice. And Shōto startles so easily sometimes. What if it's too much for him?'

'Then Hizashi will move out,' Aizawa says without issue, straightforward and clear, and Katsuki knows he's telling him the truth. 

'You'd do that?' Katsuki asks, looking at Aizawa carefully. 'Be away from someone you love?' 

'I would,' Aizawa says. 'Hizashi understands the situation. I don't have to share a house with him for him to matter to me. I have a responsibility to Shōto. I take that very seriously.' 

Katsuki nods and smiles. His belly rumbles loudly. 

'Do you feel okay to go back inside?' Aizawa asks, letting Katsuki untangle their fingers. 'I have toast and strawberry jam waiting for you.' 

'Yeah,' Katsuki says, sounding a little tired. 

'Come on then,' Aizawa says, standing up straight, his knees clicking with the movement. 

'I'm sorry for causing you trouble again,' Katsuki says, as they walk back towards the cabin. 

'You're no trouble to me,' Aizawa says warmly. 

'But it's not exactly a great start to the day,' Katsuki laughs dryly. 

'I'd prefer to see you happy,' Aizawa says sincerely. 'But we can work on that. Just be honest with me, just be as truthful as you can be.'

Aizawa pauses at the door, his hand wrapped around the handle. He turns back, to look at Katsuki. He looks serious.

'If you feel like you need to hurt yourself - today, tomorrow, in the middle of the night, ten years from now - don't hesitate, just come to me. I won't judge you, and I will never ever be too busy - or too tired - to talk with you,' the dark-haired teacher promises. His eyes locking with those of his student. 'Do you believe me when I tell you that?' 

'Yeah,' Katsuki says, stepping closer to both his teacher and the cabin. 'I think I really do, Sensei.' 

✻

'Mr Aizawa,' Kirishima calls out, knocking on the doorway of Aizawa and Katsuki's bedroom. 

'Are you okay?' Aizawa asks, looking away from a shelf straining with books. 

'Yeah,' Kirishima says with a smile. 'I just wanted to say thank you for bringing us here. I know it's barely been a day, but I just had a talk with Katsuki and I don't know what would have happened, if you hadn't been there. I worry what might have happened had it all kept building up inside him. I know he's tough, I know he's strong, but he's soft too. And vulnerable. And, just, like I said, thank you for giving us this time and space to… to decompress.'

'You're welcome,' Aizawa says. 'You'll always be welcome here, and in my life. If you ever need anything, or if you need to talk, you can come to me, okay, Eijirō? You don't have to fall apart before you seek me out.'

'I understand,' Kirishima smiles before he bows his head a little and leaves Aizawa to his books. 

✻

Once they've all finished their therapy sessions, Aizawa gathers them in the living room. There's a stack of white paper hearts on the coffee table. Katsuki's eyes wander to the scissors and the bin filled with paper scraps. 

This is what Aizawa had been doing for the hour that they were all on their respective video calls? Cutting out paper hearts? It must be. Todoroki had taken his call in the connecting kitchen, so Aizawa could be nearby, and he's shooting their teacher a soft, curious look. Nowhere near as confused as Katsuki and Kirishima are. 

Aizawa reaches under the table and pulls up a tub of pens. He puts them on the table too and says, 'I thought we could do a project together.'

'Like a group project?' Kirishima asks, moving to sit on the floor beside Todoroki, his hands resting on the table. 

'Exactly like a group project,' Aizawa says, smiling as he pulls himself up off the ground. 'Katsuki, have a seat.' 

The blonde sits without question, too focused on Aizawa to even bristle. He's even more confused when Aizawa pulls a roll of masking tape out of his back pocket. 

'Is this where you tie us up and kill us?' Todoroki smiles and Aizawa rolls his eyes. Katsuki is really rubbing off on him. 

'No, I'm saving that for later,' Aizawa replies dryly. He walks over to the biggest wooden wall in the room and stretches two long pieces of tape vertically, from as high as he can reach, all the way down to the floor. Affectively splitting the wall in three. 

His students watch him in silence. Aizawa takes three pieces of paper from the arm of the sofa and starts taping them to the wall. So they sit at the top of the three columns. Katsuki squints, realises each of their names are scrawled on the pieces of paper. Kirishima's name is stuck in the first column, Katsuki's in the second, Todoroki's in the third. It doesn't escape Katsuki that he's positioned them alphabetically - Eijirō, Katsuki, Shōto - neutral. 

'So, here's what we're gonna do,' Aizawa says, stuffing the tape back into his pocket, his hands clapping together. It feels like they’re at school, but it also really doesn't. They're way more relaxed, Aizawa has at least three scented candles burning away on the fireplace.

'For as long as we're here, we're going to be doing this project,' Aizawa gestures to the wall behind him. 'When we have a good thought about someone - or about ourselves - we're going to take a paper heart, write down that good thought, and stick it to the wall. Alright? Any questions so far?' 

Katsuki scoffs, suddenly defensive, 'I have plenty, are you trying to humiliate me or something?'

'Of course I'm not,' Aizawa says plainly, keeping himself open and relaxed. He can see how red Katsuki's eyes are, it's obvious he'd been crying in his therapy session, which, added to their exchange this morning, extends the teacher's desire to be patient and understanding with the boy. He has a lot going on; Aizawa understands that feeling intimately. 'I would never, ever do something to humiliate you purposefully, Katsuki.' 

'Kinda looks like it though,' Katsuki says snappily, and Kirishima turns to look at him with wide eyes. 

'Katsuki, why would this be designed to humiliate you? Isn't it something nice, for all of us?' Kirishima asks, still staring at his boyfriend. 

'Because he thinks there's less we can write about him, isn't that it?' Todoroki asks sadly, looking up from his hands in his lap. 'But that's not true, Katsuki. There's a lot of good things about you.' 

'What would you kn-' Katsuki starts angrily, before he realises who he's taking things out on. His hands automatically sink down to his thighs. They start pinching at the fabric.

'He's right,' Aizawa says, his eyes fixed on the way his student's fingers are twitching against his jeans. Don't, he begs silently. I'm right here. 

'Oh, I know I’m right,' Todoroki says, thrusting his hand into the box of pens. The tub shudders, the clatter of pens drawing Katsuki's attention. Kirishima is still watching him with concern. Unaware that Todoroki, beside him, is aggressively scrawling onto one of Aizawa's paper hearts. 

'Katsuki,' Kirishima says quietly, reaching out to take the blonde's hand in his own. 'Even if you're having a hard time, I still love you. You know that, right?' 

'Yeah,' Katsuki whispers, feeling chastised. He’s not doubting his boyfriend’s feelings for him, he’s doubting his feelings about himself. 'I-I know.' 

Todoroki stands up beside them and walks towards the wall. Aizawa tears a piece of tape off the roll and hands it over. So, Todoroki can move to the centre of the big wall and stick his heart there. 

Aizawa reads what he's written, and warmth floods his body. Kirishima gets up and pulls Katsuki along with him. Dragging him towards the heart - partly to satisfy his own curiosity, partly to prove to Katsuki that he's worth something. Something good. When they come to a standstill, Kirishima slips a hand around his boyfriend's waist. 

As soon as Katsuki reads the words Todoroki has written, he wraps his arms around Kirishima and cries into his shirt. 

Kirishima holds him close. But he can't take his eyes off the words - off the undeniable truth he finds in them, too. 

Katsuki Bakugō believed me.  

Katsuki Bakugō is my hero.