Chapter Text
Hogwarts 1993
It had been 15 of the longest, most difficult years of her life since she'd last stepped foot through these doors, yet Hogwarts was exactly how she remembered it.
Every summer when she'd returned it simply took her breath away, a place where she belonged, a place where her magic made sense.
It was home, it would always be home.
Every corridor she had ever walked, skipped or ran along was like a second thought because her feet knew exactly which way to take her.
It was a home filled with warm, happy memories, back when an incoming war felt like Chinese whispers, how everything covered in the daily prophet had to have been an exaggeration, that the horrors they would inevitably face were simply told to scare students into studying harder.
Yet how young and niave they'd all been.
Focused on the clip of her heels against the stone floor she found her mind wandering once more.
If there had been a possibility of going back in time to first year would she tell her past self to make better decisions, to deny those that hurt her the most anywhere near her, to not take for granted the years she had had with her friends for anything, to hold them close once again and never let them go.
To warn them.
To save them.
But she knew it was pointless to torment herself with a fantasy, to pick at wounds that had still yet to heal despite the years that had passed.
That's when a swell of guilt, sorrow and anger began to tarnish those happy memories, like a weed spreading, suffocating everything beautiful in its path until it became impossible to control, and unless it was killed at the root it would keep coming back, over and over again.
Which is exactly how Rosalie felt.
Memories she had buried within her now came crawling back to the surface, all because of him.
The last time she was here she'd graduated as a friendship of eight, a group of eight that were so connected with one another nothing could break them.
Or so she thought.
They'd left the safety of school and joined the fight against the dark lord and his army; but what they were up against nobody could be prepared for, but to a group of 17 and 18 year olds the horrors they faced on a daily basis soon became a crushing reality for them all.
Comradery had only got them so far out in the real world, a once close knit group of friends slowly began to fall apart.
But that was the beauty of paranoia, once it was let in, it was difficult to get out.
Months and months of speculating, pointing of fingers to anyone who acted slightly out of character, only for it to end with the main instigator of those fears being the culprit.
The one who hid in the shadows behind everyone else's fear and distrust, watching and waiting while those around him destroyed themselves from the inside.
Through the chaos and doubt she had lost 5 of those wonderful trusted friends, each tricked and handed over as if they meant nothing; young, innocent, beautiful lives that had barely left childhood, who's fate had been determined by the one person they had all trusted.
Her fellow survivor, the one who had carried the weight of everyone's suspicions had left her side 6 years prior.
Remus
Once like a brother, her one true soulmate.
But Rose couldn't blame anyone but herself for their friendship breaking down like it had, holding full responsibility for what had happened between them all those years ago.
How she wished he was the real reason she was here, to forget that one regrettable moment that had transpired between them and to repair what little of their friendship that could still be salvaged.
No, she was here for the other one, the one that had gotten too close, the one who had cost her everything.
Where had it gone so wrong, why hadn't she seen it?
Because it hadn't been there her consciousness returned, her trusted inner thoughts pushing away the self doubt.
If it was, she certainly wouldn't have the indent of the rings on her finger; the skin permanently branded underneath the rings that she once wore.
Something no one ever tells you when the love of your life puts it on your finger in the first place, never thinking for once she would ever have to take them off.
She'd worn them with pride, proud to carry the weight of his name, to turn said name into something positive.
But her efforts had only left her marked, both physically and mentally, a constant reminder of her failure; a failure as a friend, a sister, a godmother.
She was none of those things now.
Had she known the loss she would face, she wouldn't carry the scars motherhood had given her, experienced the pain that came with childbirth, how her body had changed forever with the gift he had given her.
The only thing he had ever done right in his life.
How could someone lie, deceive and murder those they had once called family, how somebody that cold and calculated could give her the purest, most precious thing she had in life.
At the time it felt like the right decision to make, to hide the truth from her. She wouldn't be the first child to grow up in the world not knowing who their father was, but that didn't make it any easier.
Everyday the guilt ate away at her, but knowing the truth would be far worse which was why it was one of the reasons why she made sure her daughter never went without growing up.
Her family may have been small but the love they all had for her made up for it.
Of course it didn't stop her asking who her father was when she noticed most children around her had one, but how does one tell a child that their father read them a story one night, tucked them into bed and then went on to murder 15 innocent people.
It was an abhorrent thought and one Rose wanted to avoid at all costs.
For the good of her daughter she hadn't said a word, it was one of the rare times as her mother she could justifiably lie to her; all to protect her.
But that was until he'd broken out of an unbreakable fortress one late night in July and the rumours started to circulate that he had his sights set on Harry Potter in hopes of finishing what the Dark Lord had started.
His escape had caused utter panic within the Ministry, especially within its Auror offices and if Sirius Black could escape, there was no telling how many more would follow in his example.
Of course the high security risk meant posters appeared on every wall in the wizarding world with a large bounty for anyone who knew where he was hiding.
Due to the severity of his charges and warrant for his arrest, Fudge had even spoken to the Muggle Prime minister to make him aware of the situation, which made escaping from his face nigh impossible.
He was far from the young, swauve, handsome Sirius that she had once found herself tangled in the sheets with. In his place was a scruffy, deranged man foaming at the mouth, lunging out of the poster like some wild beast.
All those feelings that had been locked up inside her had come rushing out all at once when his name had first crossed her desk. Of course she'd instantly been taken off the case; 'a conflict of interest' they had called it, but she knew better.
Those old enough to remember his arrest knew exactly what tied her to him.
Fortunately a few individuals had still seen her worth as an Auror and were happy to have her serving in the department as long as she passed the hours of interrogation they put her through.
Fudge had been a younger man climbing the ranks back then, but he was still the same suspicious old fool; evidence or not he would happily have thrown her in the same cell as him.
He kept an annoyingly close eye on her, and if he didn't, his minions certainly did.
Thankfully most Aurors that worked under her leadership were young and she'd taken on her maiden name straight after his arrest, finding it easier to hide behind her famous father than her infamous husband.
But as long as she kept her head down and refrained from killing a Muggle in her boredom she was left to her own devices whilst in the office.
If seeing his face around her workplace wasn't bad enough it seemed he was determined to follow her home. The Daily Prophet newspapers she had delivered daily were chucked straight into the fireplace without ever being read, purposely waking up early just to beat her daughter to them.
She watched those cold eyes catch alight and burn in the flames, wishing it could be the real thing, briefly feeling that crushing pain around her heart loosen slightly when the paper turned to ash only for her to realise she'd just be standing here once again the following day.
It was only when she had to work a little later than usual that she forgot about the latenight news and found her daughter watching it. Of course Muggles wouldn't know the extent of his crimes but people were put on red alert for a murderer that had escaped.
Rose had all but broken her neck to turn the TV off as quickly as she could, but of course her daughter was more astute than she gave her credit for and could visibly see how shaken her mother was and hiding alot more than she let on.
I see his face enough at work, I don't want him in the house is what she told her.
Of course she tried asking who he was and the crimes he had been arrested for, but she simply told her she was too young to know and wouldn't understand.
She remembered when she looked away from the TV to her and all she could see was him sat there, slumped on the sofa in his usual manner, manspreading with that damned smile he saved just for her, usually after saying something inappropriate to her.
If only she knew.
It would be so obvious if she did, the grey that mixed with the amber of her eyes, the uncontrollable curls she had silently cursed everyday when getting her ready for school, the sarcasm, the wit, the getting up to no good, it was all him.
She hated it just as much as she loved it.
At the time It had seemed enough, she'd thrown her off the trail of a story she didn't wish to tell.
Over summer there was not a single sighting, then out of the blue he was seen by a Muggle in a small town not far from Hogwarts.
Knowing how far he had made it from Azkaban made the rumours more real, that he was indeed on his way to finish what his master started.
With dementors already at the school to protect the students within namely Harry, it seemed it would be enough to deter him from attempting to get into the school.
Until Halloween arrived.
She didn't know if it was purely coincidence or a sick joke to make an attempt on Harry's life on exactly the same night he had decided to kill his parents, he was always known for being dramatic as a young man and Rose believed it was a purposeful decision and just another sign of the madness that had clouded his mind.
After the break in, Dumbledore had personally written to her in regards to her daughters safety suggesting maybe the truth needed to come out soon before she found out another, less unpleasant way about her father.
It was a secret few knew about, and though Harry seemed to be the target it didn't hurt to keep an eye on her daughter too, she knew Remus would watch over her, even though she'd yet to make any attempt of contact since she knew he had been posted at the school a few months before.
If Sirius saw her he'd know in an instant who she was, and who's to say what he would do with her if he could get his hands on her.
It was a risk she wouldn't take.
She'd first approached Fudge, asking if he would station Aurors there to provide added protection and bring peace of mind for all those at the school, only to be fobbed off with excuses of overtime and extra costs. She'd even offered to guard the school, unpaid if it meant bringing him to justice sooner but Fudge very quickly turned down that idea, saying the dementors were enough protection for the school despite Black having evaded them more than once.
Which is why Rose found herself walking these familiar corridors again, she wasn't here as an Auror but as a parent, a parent who was about to make a very difficult decision.
Sirius Black, the murderer on the loose is your father.
Im sorry I lied to you for 12 years.
Merlin her head was spinning already.
There was no easy way of revealing the truth to her. She just hoped that between herself and Dumbledore they could make it as painless as possible for her.
Her biggest hope was for her daughter to be able to forgive her once she knew because everything she had done had been for her.
All those heartbreaking mistakes she had made would not happen to her daughter.
Sirius Black had very nearly destroyed everything she had left in her world, he would not do the same with her, not to Phoebe.