Work Text:
“Please introduce yourselves.”
Two men are seated at a table across from eachother.
The man with white hair does a peace sign at the camera. He sits with his legs crossed, dressed head to toe with designer clothing. Dark circular sunglasses rest on the edge of his nose. “Hi! I’m Gojo Satoru, CEO of Gojo Tech Inc.”
The man across from him waves a hand in greeting.
“Getou Suguru,” he says wryly. “Elementary school teacher. Also a gold-digger, soon to be trophy husband, taking advantage of the Gojo family fortune.”
Gojo points at him accusingly. “I knew you only loved me for my money!”
“There’s no amount of money that’s worth putting up with you.”
────
The studio notes that their next couple has very…interesting hair. Today, their hairstylist called in sick, so they won’t be able to fix the dark tangled mess or the wild pink. Hopefully, the audience won’t mind.
“I’m Itadori Yuuji!” A man with pink hair introduces himself, grinning widely. “We get free drinks right?”
His partner sighs. “That’s why you signed us up for this?”
“Well technically, Nobara signed us up and I just agreed.”
“You didn’t think to ask me before you said yes?” The dark haired man frowns.
“You need the money too,” Itadori says, already pouring himself a glass of juice. The producer finds it amusing that he chose to drink the juice first.
The dark haired man turns to the camera. “I’m Fushigoro Megumi. Full time broke college student, part time barista.”
Across from him, Itadori begins to choke from drinking juice too quickly. Fushigoro looks fond even as he scolds him.
────
“How long have you been together?"
There’s a moment of silence between the two men in which they simply stare at each other. The producer clears his throat, about to repeat the question, convinced that they probably hadn’t heard him when Getou answers.
“It’s a complicated question. We were together for two years and broke up for five. It’s been four years since we started dating again.”
“And now we’re engaged,” Gojo grins.
“And now we’re engaged,” Getou confirms, a small smile on his face.
“How come you never wear your engagement ring?”
He rolls his eyes. “The ring is gaudy as hell.”
“It was 400,000-“
A camera man chokes on his water.
“-and I always wear mine!”
“That’s because you don’t work with elementary school students. It’s a work hazard. If a six year old swallows the ring, their parents would sue me, and I’d probably be fired.”
Gojo rests his head on his hand. “Doesn’t sound so bad. We could spend more time together.”
“If I was home all day you’d never leave. Then you’d be fired and we would end up on the streets.”
Gojo leans back and shrugs. “Can’t argue with that.”
────
“We’ve been together for one year and a half years now!” Itadori cheers.
“It could’ve been longer,” Fushigoro sighs. “But we were both being idiots and I thought Itadori was straight for the longest time.”
Itadori laughs at that. “You should’ve known I liked you. I went to your cafe every day to talk to you.”
“And? We have lots of regulars.”
“I don’t even like coffee!” Itadori says like it’s the most obvious thing in the world.
"How was I suppose to know that?” Fushigoro asks, exasperated.
He frowns. “Oh yeah.”
────
“Please read the first card.”
Gojo snatches up the card before his partner even has the chance to react. “What was our worst date?”
“All of the ones where Toji tagged along.”
“He’s not that bad.”
Getou raises an eyebrow. “Normally, when someone asks to join in on a date as a third wheel, the answer you should give is ‘no’.”
“I felt bad for him.”
“Shall we talk about the time where he convinced you that it would be funny to pull a prank on me?” Getou asks. “I was convinced you were dead for a day Satoru. A full day.”
“Ah..” Gojo scratches the back of his head. “That was a bad idea. But you forgave me eventually!”
“It was weeks before I spoke to him again,” Getou explains to the camera.
“We’re not inviting Toji to our wedding, by the way.”
“I think he was planning to sneak in regardless.”
────
Itadori reads the question.
Fushigoro frowns. “Probably the escape room we did. We didn’t make it before the time ran out and neither of us had fun.”
Itadori nods seriously. “I thought you were really smart, but it turns out we have the same amount of brain cells!”
“I do NOT have the same amount of brain cells as you.”
“But neither of us could figure it out.”
“I refuse to be labeled in the same category as you and Todo,” Fushigoro says fiercely, placing his hand on the table.
Itadori pouts. “What about that time we went with Nobara to-“
Fushigoro immediately puts his palm over Itadori’s mouth. “We don’t talk about the incident. I would like to amend my previous statement - I think I lose brain cells around you.”
Itadori revels in victory before pausing. “Wait...”
────
Getou picks up the next card. “Who’s hotter? Me or you?”
“Me,” Gojo responds instantly.
“Wow.” Getou places the card onto the used pile. “Thanks for the vote of confidence.”
“You’re not hot, Suguru. You’re beautiful.”
“Oh.” A pause. "Can I kiss you right now or is that not allowed on this show?"
Gojo laughs.
────
Itadori answers without hesitation. “You! I like your hair and your eyes and your hands-“ The camera zooms in on the faint blush appearing on Fushigoro’s cheeks. He turns his head away.
“Thank you. You’re attractive too.”
“I know,” Itadori grins. “We’re both hot!”
────
“Have you ever thought of cheating on me?” Gojo asks.
“No. Have you?”
“No.”
Getou raises his glass. “Cheers.”
Together, they take a shot.
────
“No.”
“Me either.”
Itadori and Fushigoro smile at each other before turning to the camera. Then, at the same time. “Next question.”
────
Getou lets out a slow breath at next card. “If I was in a coma, how long would you wait for me?”
Gojo plays with the glasses on the table. “Forever, probably.”
“Really? Forever’s a long time.”
He smiles. “Yeah. I’d still wait forever. There's no one else I'd ever want to be with.”
Getou reaches for his hand across the table, kissing the back of it gently. “I’d wait forever for you too.”
“I know.”
────
As soon as Fushigoro reads the question, he places a shot in front of Itadori. “Drink it.” Itadori frowns, taking the glass anyways. “Why?”
“I don’t want to hear the answer.”
“…okay.”
────
“Does your family like me? Why or why not?” Gojo asks.
Getou nods. “Mimiko and Nanako like you, although that may be because you spoil them.”
“Well someone has to!”
“Their teeth are going to rot.”
“It’s fine. We can afford to buy them a new set.”
────
Itadori asks the question and immediately grimaces. “I can answer this one. Sukuna does like you.”
“I wish he didn’t.” Fushigoro pulls a face at the mention. “He keeps telling me that I’m ‘wasting my potential’.”
The producer speaks. “Who’s Sukuna?”
“He’s my twin brother,” Itadori says. “He’s kind of evil.”
“Every time you go visit him, I worry you won’t make it back.”
“Nah, it’s fine.” Itadori grins. “He can’t live without me and he knows it.”
The producer wonders if it’s possible to bring them both in at once. He’s pretty sure it’ll go viral.
────
“When did you realize you were in love with me?” Getou asks.
A brief quiet falls over them before Gojo reaches for the bottles.
Getou frowns. “Really?”
He pours himself a shot and smiles before answering. “Fourth year of college. I realized the day you broke up with me.”
A brief silence before Getou takes a deep breath. “I’m not sorry for breaking up with you.”
“I'm not sorry for falling in love with you,” Gojo says.
“You always have the worst timing.”
“Yeah. But you love me anyways.”
────
“When you were in the hospital,” Fushigoro says quietly. “In that really bad car accident with Sukuna. I was waiting in the ER and I saw your heart stop.”
“I’m sorry.” Itadori takes both of Fushigoro’s hands in his. “I’m here now.”
“Don’t leave me again.”
He smiles. “I won’t.”
—
“What do you love about me?” Gojo asks.
“Oh?” Getou says. “There’s things I love about you? That’s news to me.”
“Hmmm…that’s not what you said last night-“ Getou throws the card at him, but Gojo only catches it in between his two fingers with a smile. He sighs before answering, observing Gojo.
“I love that you never gave up on me,” Getou says, his voice low. The crew moves the mic closer. "That you’re confident and strong and you stop me from thinking too much, even though it gets us into trouble.”
He takes a deep breath. “And...I honestly don’t think I’d be alive without you. You give me something to live for.”
Gojo tilts his head and for the first time, the crew witnesses a small, sincere smile.
Getou immediately groans. “Shoko’s never gonna let me live this down. Can we cut this out?”
Gojo laughs. “No! I want the world to know what a sap you are.”
“I hate you.”
“You love me.”
“I want a divorce.”
“We’re not even married yet!” Gojo protests, grasping at Getou’s sleeve as he attempts to leave his seat. “I can’t return the ring!”
────
“What I love about you,” Fushigoro repeats, turning more red by the second.
Itadori grins.
“I…love that you’re kind. You’re selfless to a fault. You would probably give up your life if it meant saving a stranger.” Fushigoro avoids eye contact. “You’re my best friend and I don’t know where I’d be without you.”
Itadori leans over and pressed a light kiss to Fushigoro’s cheek, who pointedly tries to hide his blush from the cameras. “I love you too!”
“I don’t understand how you can say it so easily.” “Because it’s the truth?” Itadori says. “The sky is blue, the earth is round, and I love Fushigoro!”
A cameraman clutches at his heart.
Fushigoro smiles. “I…love you too.”
────
Truth or Drink | Couple’s Edition
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1,346 comments
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Helaksjdf
We all knew Gojo was a pretty boy but his husband is too??? Leave some for us tf
Hello2367
Okay but the way Itadori loves so loudly?? God when will it be my turn?
JuujustsuFan
Geto’s engagement ring was…400,000…that’s eight times my yearly salary…