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Duncan has been living in his apartment building for a while but recently he got a new neighbor and things have been...weird.
It’s not like Duncan is really against living right next to an attractive curly haired guy but he keeps dropping things, and swearing, and bumping into things and he just keeps doing a lot of weird shit.
The Quagmire established the fact that his neighbor is clumsy a long time ago, but the weird things don’t end there.
It’s been around three weeks since his neighbor moved in, Duncan didn’t even have the chance to catch his name since whenever he sees him the Quagmire gets absolutely terrified.
No and don’t get me wrong, his neighbor is very attractive but the way he stares at him, it’s like he’s looking right into his soul.
They’ve seen each other in the hall when taking out the trash or just going out and the mysterious neighbor just stares at him, eyes wide. It terrifies Duncan to the core.
His extremely attractive neighbor is trying to do a stare down contest because the Quagmire is definitely not ready for that kind of thing.
I mean he doesn’t even know his name yet.
The weird stare down thingy happened a few times now, once Duncan even tried to stare back, but the neighbor just shrugged and went away.
In conclusion: Duncan Quagmire’s neighbor is a complete weirdo. A very attractive weirdo.
Today Duncan had his brother- Quigley -visiting him. Him, Quigley and their sister Isadora are identical triplets so all of them look the same.
And recently, Quigley also cut his hair, and now they look absolutely identical.
Anyways, they were sitting in Duncan’s apartment when they decided to go out for a bite.
And when they opened the door they saw The Neighbor standing in front of them. Wearing Glasses.
Duncan did not know his neighbor wears glasses. Which make his eyes look incredibly huge. And his eyes are a beautiful shade of brown. Oh Christ.
Duncan snaps out of his doze to find the guy frowning at them.
“Hello?” the Quagmires say in an unison, which confuses the neighbor even more.
He squeezed his eyes shut a few times, cursed under his breath, put away the glasses and stumbled back into his apartment, his hand tracing the wall for leverage.
“What the fuck was that”, Quigley asks flatly, it doesn’t really come out as a question though.
“My neighbor,” Duncan answers, closing the door again, “Maybe we should stay here and just watch a movie,” he suggests and his brother just shrugs, agreeing.
After that Duncan didn’t see his neighbor for another while (only three days actually, but Duncan Quagmire is a dramatic little shit) until once he was coming home from work and saw a woman and a teenage girl standing in front of his neighbors door.
The woman had straight, long black hair, it was draping down her shoulders, she was wearing a purple cardigan and a pair of mom jeans, while the girl who was standing next to her had light curly hair and a yellow jumper. She looked around fourteen years old with a backpack draped around her shoulders.
And then his neighbor opened the door.
He was dressed in regular clothing, looked like he had been working, his hair was messy but there were no glasses. A brown sweater vest with a slightly beige shirt and a pair of dark trousers, two different socks on his feet.
Duncan smirked, his neighbor really knew how to dress.
His thoughts were interrupted by the woman smacking his neighbor on the arm.
“Klaus!” She exclaimed. His neighbor’s name is apparently Klaus. Hm. Sounds nice, fitting for the man.
“Where are your glasses?” The woman asked, crossing her hands on her chest. Klaus stared at her.
“Not even a hello?” Klaus squinted his eyes a few times, it was like he was trying to see the girls at his front door properly.
“Glasses,” The woman repeats, looking at Klaus pointedly.
The man groans, “I,” he waves a finger around his face, “forget all the time, you know? And also, they make everything double, i saw twice of my neighbor today,” he breathes out, letting the girls in.
“Well maybe you have two identical neighbors,” the teenage girl giggles, her voice getting muffled as Klaus closes the door behind them.
Realization suddenly dawns on Duncan, his neighbor, Klaus, thought him and Quigley were some kind of vision problem he had. The Quagmire chuckled a bit and resumed his walk to his apartment from the shadows.
A week later Duncan was sitting in his living room, grading papers, when he heard noise coming from the hall.
Someone obviously fell down and cursed loudly, the Quagmire went out to check, but found nobody. He stood out for a few seconds but everything was silent. And when he was about to walk back into his place, he saw his neighbor emerge from the corridor, broken glasses in hand.
Duncan was about to offer help when Klaus stopped dead in his tracks and look right at the Quagmire, eyes steady, they looked a bit empty.
Duncan froze, too scared to move, not even a muscle.
Klaus’ stare became more intense, the Quagmire heard the broken glass in his hand clinking together.
“Is- Is anyone here?” Klaus asked, looking right at Duncan.
Am I invisible? The Quagmire thought, suddenly confused. But then his eyes widened in realization. He dropped his hands to his sides.
“Oh my god! You’re blind! ” Duncan exclaimed, throwing his hand in the air.
Klaus stares at him for a second.
And for another.
“Thanks for the enlightenment, Einstein,” he finally let out, frowning at the other man, and then he slapped his forehead groaning, “Were you the one who would freeze any time i would look at you? I thought this place was haunted! I kept hearing things moving and then when i looked at where the sound was coming from, nothing moved there! Wow, you really freeze like a statue.” Klaus put his hands on his hips, nodding slightly, looking up.
“Shit i’m so sorry, err, i overheard a conversation you had with two girls that came over to your apartment, your vision didn’t get doubled, you saw me and one of my triplets, we’re identical so,” Duncan trailed off, scratching the back of his neck.
“Oh yeah i figured there wasn’t anything wrong with the glasses and it was just a one time thing, but..” Klaus opened his closed fist, to reveal a bunch of shattered pieces of glass and a glasses frame on his palm, “I broke them,” he sighed.
“Well I can see that,” Klaus snorted and Duncan flinched, “Sorry..”
“No, no it’s alright, you have no idea how many blind puns I make a day,” the Quagmire giggled but then he gasped a little.
“Oh gosh you’re bleeding!” He exclaimed, rushing closer to Klaus, “I know a bit of first aid, i’m assuming you can’t do it yourself since you’re bleeding, uhm, i work at a middle school, you may have not suspected it, but kids get violent at that age...”
“Nah, it’s not a biggie, but if you would like to help, you can come in,” Klaus gestured to his door.
“Of course,” Duncan said, breathing out, he took his neighbor’s wrist into his hands and carefully pulled him to his apartment.
“Oh wait,” Klaus said, and Duncan stopped in his tracks, “I can’t let you in until i know your name, special policy of mine.”
Duncan chuckles slightly, “I’m Duncan Quagmire, and you are...?”
“Klaus Baudelaire,” Klaus replies, grinning.
“Okay now let’s go,” Duncan says, glad that Klaus can’t see him flustered.
The Baudelaire’s apartment is small, like Duncan’s. It’s built pretty much the same way, just mirroring his own. Everything in the apartment is so random and unmatched. There are a bunch of clocks on the walls, alongside with different paintings, most of which were drawn with black ink. Portraits and still lives scribbled on with a quill-like pen. An olive green couch with a checkered blanket on it, everything was so bright compared to the way Klaus dressed. The Baudelaire preferred earthy tones and dark colors in his clothes (it's not like Duncan had been paying much attention to his clothes)
“You’re probably wondering why everything is so bright and scattered and absolutely unmatched,” Klaus smirked, sitting down on his couch.
“How did you know?” Duncan said, giving Klaus a skeptical look but still continuing to look at the state of the apartment.
“Everyone just wonders it when they come in so i guessed,” Klaus clumsily wipes his hands from the glass onto the coffee table, “It’s an old trick my sister Violet came up with, you actually might’ve seen her if you,” he threw quotations in the air (at which Duncan made a mental note to protest later), “ overheard our conversation, she’s the older one not the teenager by the way, so she came up with this thing, she’s really smart, so that everything should be more or less different colors, so i can understand which blotch of color is what, i’m not completely blind, i just can’t see anything that’s ten inches away from my face.”
Duncan hummed in thought, “where’s your first aid kit?” he asked, clapping his pockets.
“It’s in the bathroom, go right through there,” he pointed at a corridor, “and the second door on the left.” and Duncan complied.
After he brought the kit and sat down next to Klaus, the Baudelaire scratched his head and asked him,
“So you’re a teacher?”
Duncan smiled, “Uh yeah, i teach middle schoolers literature, it’s a bit uh- terrifying actually,” he chuckled, pouring hydrogen peroxide on a cotton ball and dabbing it on Klaus’ palm.
“I also wanted to be a teacher, until I went blind of course, nor sure how I was supposed to teach when i couldn’t see for shit,” Klaus stated, letting out a breath.
“Oh really? What did you want to teach?” Duncan wrapped a bandaid around Klaus’ hand.
“I wanted to do like a science, biology or chemistry, in highschool probably, lost my vision back in college, didn’t finish the course, now i live off of inherited money and listen to audiobooks,” Klaus said, squeezing his fist a few times to check how tight it the bandaid.
“And uhm,” Duncan drew in a breath, “how did you lose your sight? If you don’t mind me asking?”
“Oh no not at all, I have diabetes, and there were some complications when i was in college and it damaged the back of my eye and i lost my vision,” Klaus explained, standing up, “Would you like some tea? Obviously you will have to make it yourself since i can’t see but...”
“Yeah.”
Since then months flew by, Klaus and Duncan would hang at each other’s flats once a few days. Sometimes they wouldn’t even talk, Klaus just sits in Duncan’s armchair, listening to an audio book, while the Quagmire himself is grading papers. They just felt comfortable in each others’ company. They never discussed things like sexuality and past relationships even though that was an itch Duncan was desperate to scratch.
Sometimes they would listen to music together, Duncan would play his favorite Taylor Swift songs and Klaus liked Coldplay and The Beatles. Sometimes the Baudelaire would even sing, and he had a beautiful singing voice, low and slightly raspy.
Klaus didn’t buy new glasses or fix his old ones, he called them pointless and he said that he’s okay with not being able to see. “I’ve seen enough, i’m tired,” he would say.
And then the day when Klaus met Duncan’s friends came.
The Quagmire didn’t have a lot of friends, there were his siblings, his highschool best friend Carmelita, and his colleague Mathew, who was the drama teacher in the middle school he worked at. Mathew was only twenty seven (Duncan was twenty six) and he was incredibly artistic and charismatic, also the only young teacher in the school beside Duncan.
Carmelita is colorblind, so most of the clothes she wears are pink, (on rare occasions she wears black), she owns a candy shop a block away from Duncan’s apartment. She hangs around there quite often so he comes there for a visit. Plus the girl at the cash register likes him, so she was always sweet to him.
Quigley and Isadora were his ultimate best friends, his identical triplets. They literally looked the same. Isadora was a raging sapphic and Quigley was just Quigley. Both of them were his emotional support when he went through his gay theatre kid phase, they were important to him, and so was Klaus.
So he wanted for them to meet.
“Okay so,” Duncan said, clapping his hands, sitting down on the couch in Klaus’ apartment, setting down his takeout thai food, “I want you to meet some of my friends.”
Klaus looked at him, “...Okay?” he said, his expression confused, “Is it a big deal or something?”
“No just you’re gonna meet my siblings and all, it can get confusing,” Duncan explained.
“Oh,” Klaus nodded, putting some food into his mouth and thinking, “Well i don’t think it’s gonna be confusing, well if you’re not planning to wear matching clothes.”
Duncan chuckled, “Well, it might be a lucky day and me and Quigley with our connected brain cells don’t randomly decide to wear the same color, for some reason that happens a lot.”
“Okay but if i’m gonna meet your friends, you’ll have to meet mine, there’s only three of them but, they’re hella important to me,” Klaus pokes Duncan’s chest and the Quagmire smiles.
“Sure! We can invite them all to a little gathering, i feel like they would get along.”
“Why do you feel that?”
“Because we get along so well.”
Duncan heard knocking on the door when he and Klaus were lounging in his living room, he opened the door to see a feral Carmelita, dressed of course in all pink.
“Hi!” Duncan exclaimed, as Spats walked into the apartment without saying a word, she stopped in her tracks as soon as she saw Klaus, looking over him a few times, as Klaus opened his eyes and took out his earbuds, staring back at Carmelita.
The Baudelaire squinted a few times, “Duncan why did a pink blob just walk into your living room?” He called out as the Quagmire burst into laughter.
“Klaus this is Carmelita, my best friend,” he said, walking up to Carmelita, who was still looking at Klaus, him staring back at her.
“Nice to meet you..?”
“Are you the cute next door neighbor Duncan’s been talking about?” Carmelita blurted out, bending down to look at Klaus in the eyes, she wanted to seem intimidating.
But the Baudelaire was relaxed, he tipped his head back a bit, “Well it depends if Duncan thinks his other next door neighbor, who is an eighty year old man, is cute,” Klaus smirked and Duncan flushed. Once again he was happy the Baudelaire couldn’t see his red cheeks.
Klaus then took out a pack of cigs and offered one to Carmelita, and obviously she gladly accepted it.
“Hey babe could you light it?” Klaus asks, searching for the blotch that would look a little like Duncan, he lifted the hand with the lighter into the air, waving it around it.
“Of course,” Duncan said, walking up to Klaus and lighting his cigarette. Carmelita looked perplexed and she shot Duncan a confused look, to which the Quagmire responded with an equally confused look.
“Thanks,” Klaus said, inhaling the smoke, and fluttering his eyes shut, tipping his head back completely, Duncan gulped.
Carmleita took the lighter from the Quagmire, lighting her own cig and breathing it in and out a few times. Her long red hair falling down onto her shoulders, a pink headband in her hair.
“Anyways,” Klaus said, taking another drag, the smoke filling the room and Duncan went to open the door, “Who else is coming?”
“Quigley, Isadora and Matt.”
And just as Duncan said that, they heard knocking on the door.
Turned out it was all three of them.
Mathew was tall, he had slightly curly fair hair and sharp facial features, he was wearing a black turtle with a pair of brown trousers, he had a slight stubble and a smile from ear to ear.
Isadora was wearing all black, a black hoodie with black jeans and a pair of black converse, her long black hair falling into her face, her emerald eyes being a big contrast to the rest. She kind of had a resemblance with a black cat.
And Quigley was wearing a cardigan made out of patches, a pair of loose dark denim jeans and a white t-shirt with some kind of band logo.
All three of them walked into the apartment and stared at Klaus.
Who was smoking on the couch, trying to understand what was happening.
“Okay so there’s a grey blotch,” the Baudelaire said, pointing his cigarette at isadora, “A very tall blotch,” he said, pointing at Matt, “and... A very colorful blotch?” He said looking at Quigley and taking another drag.
Everyone stared at Klaus, Quigley had his mouth opened, trying to force out words, Isadora looked uninterested, while Matt looked very amused.
Carmelita broke the silence, “Hello Matty,” she smirked, leaning back into the couch.
“For you it’s Mathew” Matt said, smiling bitterly.
“Why so cranky? Did you not get laid last night?”
Matt choked on air, “What?” he exclaimed, face turning red.
“Turtleneck.”
And after that, the ice was broken.
Around 40 minutes later Klaus’ sisters and his friend came over.
The friend’s name is Fiona and frankly, she pissed Duncan off.
While Carmelita and Matt were chatting their asses off, in the corner of the room, showing each other memes on their phones (probably high on edibles), Violet and Quigley were having a conversation elsewhere and Sunny was napping on the couch with earbuds in her ears, Duncan got to know Fiona.
It’s not like she wasn’t interesting, or funny, or nice, she was all of those things. The girl was a scientist with some crazy family of researchers, she had a lot of shit to tell.
But the way she was tactile with Klaus, like they had a very special relationship, they obviously had a lot of inside jokes and they understood each other on a very deep level.
Fiona informed Duncan that her and the Baudelaires are childhood friends, and her and Klaus even did science projects together in school. When Klaus first lost his vision Fiona lived with him for six goddamn months, so he could adjust.
Basically her and Klaus were really close. Incredibly close. And it pissed Duncan off.
It’s not like he was jealous. Well maybe he was. Just the smallest bit.
Fiona was a beautiful woman, she had dark skin and beautiful hair, and very nice style... Duncan could see why Klaus would pick her, she seemed perfect for him.
But then someone called Fiona.
“Who is it?” Klaus asked, pointing at the direction of Fiona’s phone.
“It’s Kelly, i gotta take this, be right back,” Fiona said, and walked away to the other kitchen.
“Who’s Kelly?” Duncan asked, switching his gaze back to Klaus.
“Oh she’s Fiona’s wife,” the Baudelaire answered casually, munching on a cookie. And Duncan stared at him (as if Klaus would notice)
“She has a wife? I didn’t see a ring.”
“Why? Are you interested?” Klaus joked but the Quagmire was completely mortified, he didn’t want Klaus to get the wrong idea.
“God no, I’m- I didn’t want this to come out like this but i’m gay,” He said, carefully watching Klaus’ face, but it was still with slight amusement and relaxation.
“Yeah I know,” Klaus says, thoughtfully looking up.
“How?” Duncan asks, startled at the reply.
“I just kinda see those types of things,” Klaus winks.
A month after Duncan finally had the courage to ask.
They were sitting on the balcony, Klaus was smoking and Duncan was admiring (Klaus) the view. “Have you ever been in love?” he asks.
Klaus thinks for a little before answering, “I think.”
“You think?”
“Well yeah, i’m not sure.”
“Isn’t love a thing that you just know about?”
“I guess so, but you can’t know everything.”
“I guess so.”
And that was the end of the discussion. Duncan didn’t want to press further since Klaus was clearly uncomfortable with the topic. So he never did.
And three months later, depending on Duncan with most of the shit he did, Klaus finally got glasses.
It was a rainy evening when Duncan heard a knock on his door. He opened it to find a soaked Klaus, he was holding a pair of glasses tightly in his hands.
The Quagmire stared at him for a moment, and he opened his mouth to say something but he was cut off.
“I got tired of not being able to see your face,” Klaus states, and puts on the glasses, as soon as he sees Duncan properly, a grin spreads across his face.
“I—“ Duncan was about to say but he got cut of by Klaus covering his lips with his own.