Work Text:
Everything Goes Black by Skillet
Bucky(James)/Natasha
Chasing these shadows around this darkened room
I’ve laid here so long I don’t even want to move
I need a minute now to heal
I need a minute now to remember how to feel
James woke up in a dank dark cell. Someone had gotten the drop on him and Natalia. He tried to get up but his bruised and beaten body protested. He didn’t want to move. He just wanted to lie there. He knew the serum had kicked in to heal his wounds and he could probably put together an escape plan once he had a better plan of what was injured. His eyes were half-open, mostly staring at nothing. He was still groggy. Suddenly he remembered Natalia. Sometimes after he woke up he had problems remembering where he was and what happened for a few minutes. He jerked up, suddenly realizing that she wasn’t in the same room as he, Natalia, I have to find her. I love her…
Whenever you’re gone away
The darkness hides the day
Whenever you’re gone the bleeding won’t stop
It hurts until you come back
Everything goes black
Everything goes black
James searched the room high and low for weak points for escape and found nothing. Maybe Natalia would when she came back. She’s rescued him plenty of times and vice versa. He was trying to be an optimist. His therapist told him he needed to try to have a new look on life since he now had one— a new life that is.
James had an internal clock of some kind. He always knew how much time had passed and how long it’d been. He caught the time and date on one of their captor's watches and had been keeping time using it since then. Their kidnappers had her for two days and though he didn’t show it, the Soldier was far too ingrained, he was terrified. Terrified of losing her. He’d just gotten her back. He felt as if his heart was bleeding fear. He found an area of the cell that met his approval for sightlines and he slid down the wall. He hoped his face wasn’t as expressive as he felt. That might be the point though, emotional torture. He tipped his head against the wall and closed his eyes. He knew he needed sleep if he were to grab Nat and they were to escape. It didn’t take long for everything to go black.
I reached out for you when I needed you to be here
All alone chasing these shadows
I don’t want the pain but I’d rather hurt than not care
It’s so long, you’ve been away from here
I need a reason now to hear
I need something to believe in
I need a reason now to remember how to feel
The keepers of the jail cell gave James food and water three times a day. They never came in the cell though. They’d been warned about his arm and his training. James laid in his cell one night wishing Natalia was with him. He looked around the cell. Shadows were on the wall. He remembered a time when his programming wasn’t broken and he didn’t care about her.
He tucked his knees to his chest and put his arms on top of them. He took a deep breath and a slow exhale. He smiled and remembered a game they played when they were bored on missions. It was like cloud-watching but because they did most of their work at night they did it with shadows. She always did have a better imagination than I did. Where are you? It hurts when you’re away… He let his mind drift. I prefer this than not caring about you. How did I ever not care about you? Two more days passed, James began to lose hope. He stopped straining his hearing and trying to believe they were going to be rescued. He’d shut himself down. Without her, I’m nothing. She makes me want to be better. He let his mind wander. He thought about the bad times and the good. They’d just started making good memories. He wanted to make more of those.
Whenever you’re gone away
The darkness hides the day
Whenever you’re gone the bleeding won’t stop
It hurts until you come back
Everything goes black
Everything goes black
Twelve days had passed and Natalia was still missing. James had almost lost all hope. S urely they’d killed her by now . He felt himself grow more and more frightened in the last twelve days than he’d ever been, even when he’d been experimented on. More and more fear bled from his chest... Fear makes you tired. He closed his eyes, maybe he could find solace in his dreams.
Give something to believe in
I still believe in you
But if you’re never here and I’m left all alone
Tell me what am I supposed to say
When James awoke the next time, he couldn’t believe the beauty standing before him. She’d been beaten to Hell and back. “Are you real,” he asked.
She smiled, “Come on, Солдат. Let’s get the Hell out of here.”
“I knew you’d rescue my sorry ass.”
She laughed, winced, and then grabbed her ribs, “Don’t I always?”
“I don’t know what I would have done if you hadn’t come. What am I supposed to say to everyone, wh-what am I supposed to do if you don’t come get me one day? If I’m left all alone.”
“You tell them that I led a very hard life. My first love became my always love. I love you, you идиот.”
Whenever you’re gone away
The darkness hides the day
Whenever you’re gone the bleeding won’t stop
It hurts until you come back
Everything goes black
James woke up from his nightmare to discover Natalia wasn’t in bed. He panicked. Had she been stolen right out from under him? His chest began to have that bleeding sensation again.
“What’s the matter,” Nat asked, walking through the bedroom door. She sat her glass of water on the table beside the bed and crawled under the covers with him.
James felt the blood suddenly stop pouring out of his heart as soon as she touched him. “Nothing now.” He wrapped his arms around her and kissed her gently. He then raised his head to look in her eyes, “I love you.”
Natalia ran her fingers lightly over his cheek, “ Я люблю тебя, мой солдат .” She leaned up and kissed his nose. “Now sleep so you can grow up to be a big scary superhero.” She winked at him. He snuggled her close to him.
Everything goes black
Everything goes black
Everything goes black
Before long his breathing evened out and everything went black. He slept only having good dreams the rest of the night holding his once lost love.