Chapter Text
If there was ever any one thing Kanji could rely on it was the inevitability of Rise to put him in the worst situations possible. Whether it was shoving him covertly to take credit for a stuffed toy he'd sewn or plotting outings for him and Naoto without his knowledge, she was always there to make sure he was as uncomfortable as possible. After nearly a year of this sort of treatment Kanji had been certain that there was nothing she could do to surprise him.
Kanji had been wrong. So wrong, in fact, that he had been blindsided when he received the call from her triumphantly informing him that Naoto was drunk. Worse, that she needed his help getting the detective home. Kanji had spent a long time in silence, staring absolutely dumbstruck at the wall in front of him. He stood there long after Rise had hung up to the point where his mother, upon shuffling into the kitchen for some milk, had to shake him a few times to get his attention. Also to make him move so she could open the fridge. Kanji''s head did a lot of spinning after that. He had a million and one questions as he darted toward the door, grabbing his coat and shoes in a rush of activity. Out the door and half way to the bus stop he belatedly realized he was not nearly courageous enough for this. So he did the only thing he could think of: He called Souji. Souji being Souji did not seem as stunned to hear the news but he agreed to help either way.
Thus the events that led up to how Kanji now found himself all the way on the other side of town, staring dumbfounded and nervously at one Rise Kujikawa and Naoto Shirogane. Rise bounded over to them both immediately when they arrived, abandoning Naoto on a park bench who was giggling in a way that made even Yukiko's laughing fits look sane.
"Senpai!" She greeted cheerfully. "What a surprise! I would've called you too but I figured Kanji needed more practice with girls than you."
"What the hell, Rise!" Kanji exclaimed, eyes straying from Naoto to Rise and then back to Naoto. "What'd you do?!"
Rise gave a broad smile. She looked very pleased with herself. "I took her out to have some fun, but you know Naoto-kun. She was being all uptight and kept worrying about things. So I took her out for a few drinks to loosen her up! And it worked!"
Kanji gaped. "D-Don't say it like it isn't a big deal! That ain't even legal!" The irony of Kanji being concerned with rule and regulations was not lost on him.
"It's very... Rise," Souji chimed in and Kanji thought, for the first time, he was being extremely unhelpful.
Rise giggled, "I know how to pull some strings. It's not like we went anywhere sketchy. Actually she really didn't have that much. She's a total lightweight."
"How much did you have?" Souji asked and Kanji thought he sounded a little exasperated.
Kanji blinked and noticed for the first time that Rise's eyes were a little glassy and bright. She giggled and, as expected, latched herself onto Souji's arm.
"Only a litttllle," she cooed. "I'm not nearly as drunk as Naoto-kun though!"
Judging from Naoto's laughing fit Kanji could only imagine just how drunk she really was. He also doubted Rise was telling the truth. As far as he could tell they were both absolutely shit-faced.
"All right. We'll take you both home. Right, Kanji?"
Kanji swallowed. "R-Right! 'Course."
Kanji took a few steps over so that he stood in front of Naoto, peering down at her nervously. Souji followed and by default so did Rise because she was now glued to his arm. Fortunately Naoto had stopped laughing to blink up at the three of them. Upon closer inspection she looked a little out of sorts, sloppier than he'd ever seen her. Her face was red, eyes glassy, hat tilted at a weird angle (threatening to fall off), the collar of her jacket and white shirt were both undone...
Kanji contemplated running.
"Naoto-kun, Kanji is going to take you home," Rise announced in a sing-song voice. "Isn't that adorable?"
Naoto blinked. She opened her mouth, closed it, opened it again and then jabbed a finger toward Rise accusingly. "You," she said dangerously, voice only a little slurred but otherwise surprisingly composed, "did not inform me Kanji was a girl."
"He isn't, Naoto-kun," Rise sighed, sounding like they had already had this conversation.
"Girl's night. Only girls are permitted. You said so."
"Not anymore because I definitely can't carry you home. It was hard enough just getting you this far. You can't even walk straight!"
At this point Kanji was certain his look resembled Yosuke when he realized Chie was going to kick his ass. Except this was much, much worse. Souji must've noticed too because he edged closer to the younger boy and asked quietly, "Are you okay with this? Taking her home I mean. Can you handle it? I don't mind taking them both back."
"U-Uh... yeah!" Kanji said a little too quickly. "I-I mean... no big deal. I can do it. You jus' take care of Rise, Senpai."
Souji nodded and then made a small noise as Rise squeezed all the air from his lungs.
"Oooo, you can take care of me whenever you want, Senpai," she purred.
"... Good luck," Kanji added and moved away from the both of them.
He fidgeted nervously as Naoto's attention was now on Rise. Watching them she let out a small and very girlish, Kanji noted, giggle.
"U-Uh... c'mon, Naoto. Time to go."
She turned her attention to him, blinking dazedly. She squinted, furrowing her eyebrows slightly like she was squinting into the sunlight. Or maybe it was the streetlight glowing behind him that was hurting her eyes. Kanji sighed and reached forward, grabbing her arm as firmly and yet as gently as he could. He very determinedly thought nothing of what he was doing and then what he was about to do. If he dared to think about it he'd lose it. He tugged her to her feet and, as expected, she started immediately swaying dangerously. Kanji propped her back up and then lifted her, holstering her petite frame onto his back. Hands slipping underneath her thighs and her hands pressed against his shoulders, Kanji's face turned a bright red.
Don'tthinkaboutitdon'tthinkaboutit, he told himself over and over as he trotted after Souji towards the bus stop. The silver haired boy appeared to have resigned himself to his fate of having Rise attached to him. Her arms were locked around his waist, walking at his side awkwardly and giggling every time they nearly toppled over. Kanji decided Rise owed them both big time for this. Meanwhile Naoto seemed to have gone quiet, though occasionally Kanji could hear her softly laughing at Rise and Souji. He doubted he'd ever hear her laugh like this again for as long as they both lived. He also doubted he'd ever forget what it sounded like.
The real challenge was getting them both on the bus. Thankfully there were very few people on it and then no one but them by the time they got half way home. But the bus driver shot them long, disapproving glances every time Rise got too loud or Naoto started laughing sporadically. Kanji groaned. He could only imagine what the bus driver was thinking seeing two boys with two drunk girls hanging off them. Or, maybe even worse, three guys and a girl. Much to Kanji's chagrin, Naoto had decided to mimic everything Rise was doing to Souji on Kanji. This included but was not limited to: lots of hugging, lots of pulling at his tank top, running a hand through his hair repeatedly and, most horrifying of all, climbing into his lap. All of this on the goddamn bus with the driver staring right at them through the rear view mirror. After about the fifth time he had to push Naoto off his lap Kanji no longer thought he could handle this. He thought his face was going to burn off any second and his pants were getting tighter by the minute. This was mortifying and Kanji resolved to take the coldest shower of his life when this was over. That was assuming he made it through this ordeal alive. A glance at Souji proved no surprise to find the boy was not having nearly as much trouble with this. He deterred Rise's advances with a gentle smile and kind words, easing her off his lap each time she determinedly sat in it. A part of Kanji hated Souji for that. He was always so damn calm. Kanji knew he'd never be that composed during his entire life.
The bus ride was only about forty minutes but it felt like days for Kanji. He was thankful when, apparently tired, Naoto gave up and curled against his side instead. She wrapped her arms around him still, resting her head on his chest, but Kanji thought this was a much better alternative than having her in his lap. When they finally arrived at their stop Kanji hefted the girl onto her back, who was now asleep, once more and eased them awkwardly off the bus, Souji following. Rise was still as lively as ever and as they parted ways Kanji wished his Senpai god's speed in his mission. But now he became painfully aware that he was all alone with Naoto, holding her to his back and carrying her hat because it had fallen off at some point, as he walked down the dark streets of Inaba. At some point while they had been waiting for the bus he had realized he had no idea where Naoto lived. Souji apparently had no clue either and so Kanji's only option was to bring her to his house instead. An option that hadn't seemed like such a big deal while they were waiting for the bus but was now a possible death sentence after getting off it. But he didn't have any other options now because trying to bring a drunk Naoto to Yukiko's or Chie's house and then explain how he had nothing to do with it sounded even more like a death sentence. So on Kanji walked, very grateful she was asleep and hoping she would not wake up between now and when he could place her on the couch. He knew there would be hell to pay in the morning when she woke up sober but right now he didn't care. It was for the best.
Naturally Kanji's luck didn't hold out. The walk went well but the moment he had slipped quietly through the front door Naoto abruptly woke up. Kanji only knew this because he was in the living room when she kicked his sides with all her might. He yelped in surprise and dropped her, wincing as she hit the floor with a loud thud. If his yell hadn't woken his mother up then that surely had. He whirled around, his first thought hoping she was okay. But Naoto was sprawled on her back giggling insanely. Kanji shook his head, quickly crouching down to pull her back up.
"H-Hey, c'mon," he hissed when she resisted, stifling giggles behind her hand. "What're you--"
Naoto's hands snagged the front of his shirt and yanked him forward. Kanji nearly fell right on her but braced himself before that happened. What did happen, though, was that she pulled him down enough for her lips to meet his. Kanji's entire body went ridged and he froze as if time itself had stopped. Admittedly it felt like it had because he was being kissed by Naoto Shirogane. Kissed. By Naoto. This was so far outside the realm of possibilities for Kanji that he couldn't even react. He just sat there, frozen and maybe a bit frightened even as she nudged open his mouth and he tasted the strong tang of alcohol. She tugged and when he nearly toppled over again his brain finally reset itself. Kanji jumped, breaking the kiss and falling flat on his behind. He scrambled back and away. Never in his life had he moved that fast. Unfortunately Naoto followed. So Kanji scooted back some more. And then some more. And then his back ran into the wall and he was trapped. Naoto smiled in a way that made his cheeks burn and she approached him again. Without giving him a moment to even think about what was happening she settled in his lap for the sixth time that night. Except this time she straddled his hips, knees pressed against his thighs and arms coming up around his neck. She pulled herself closer, chest and stomach pressed to his, and kissed his throat affectionally.
Kanji's brain imploded.
He froze again and did nothing. He didn't know what he was suppose to do. His mind was reeling too much for him to think about any responsive movement. Well, save for the enthusiastic reaction coming from between his legs. However the longer he sat there doing nothing, trying desperately to figure out how to get out of this situation and not wake his mother up at the same time, the more impatient Naoto got. Her kisses grew harder, she pressed against him more urgently and finally she ground her hips against his own. That prompted him to jump with a soft hiss.
"Sh-Shit, Naoto. G-G-Get off!" He'd be lying if he said he wasn't enjoying this. He was a teenaged boy with his long-time crush sitting suggestively on his lap. Of course he was enjoying it. Yet it felt too wrong. Everything about this was wrong. Naoto wasn't thinking straight. She didn't know what she was doing. She was drunk.
When that thought re-entered his head Kanji quickly grew the confidence to move, lifting a hand to press against Naoto's shoulder. He attempted to gently ease her off like Souji had done to Rise but she clung stubbornly to his shirt, lifting her head to find his lips. "Kanji-kun..." She purred. Kanji had no idea the sound of someone's voice could be so arousing.
"Off!" he said through clenched teeth.
This was ridiculous. He knew he could overpower her. He was twice her size. It was easy. He just had to push her and stand up. There, completely simple. Except he didn't. He didn't do a damn thing but sit there, letting her hands wander underneath his shirt and her lips press against his neck. Her hips moved against his again, a few times. Then she let out this breathy little moan and Kanji thought for sure he was about to make a mess in his pants. That thought caused him to abruptly panic and he shoved her back harder than he intended. Already pretty uncoordinated as it was Naoto easily toppled back and fell him. Successfully free Kanji stood, awkwardly thanks to his fierce hard on, and realized how heavy he was breathing. His heart was thudding so loudly in his ears he could hardly hear anything else. Naoto blinked up at him dazedly, confused and hurt. He swallowed.
"I-It ain't... Y-You're not thinking right. This just... T-Time to go to bed, okay?"
Naoto gave him a hard look from where she lay on the floor and then, after a moment, declared triumphantly, "You are not a girl."
Kanji slapped his palm against his face. What the hell does that even mean? he wondered silently. Thankfully the weird statement had somewhat cooled his blood and his heart was no longer threatening to spring free from his chest. Risking being pounced on again Kanji bent and tugged her to her feet. She didn't protest and leaned heavily on him, eyelids suddenly drooping. Kanji took this as a good a sign as any. He helped her up the stairs, into his room and watched as she collapsed onto his futon. Immediately she curled into a ball and fell asleep. Kanji quietly covered her up and left, shutting the door. He stood outside that closed door for a very long time, staring at the doorknob in astonishment. Somehow what had just happened still felt unreal, like it had all been a dream. There was no way, he told himself, that that had just occurred. And yet he was still hard, still flushed, still all too vividly remembering the way her body had pressed against his and--
Kanji abruptly flipped the switch in his brain to the 'off' position, grabbed some blankets from the hall closet, and resolved to not think again until morning.