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The quiet darkness of the jet was always a welcome comfort after a long case. On the way out to a case, everyone talked and debriefed and tried to force their minds to stay out of the dark place they were headed to until absolutely necessary, but on the way home most everyone chose to retreat into themselves in silence. Morgan would slip his headphones on and stare at nothing, Emily was prone to dramatic glances out the window, Rossi slept fitfully, Reid tried to sleep but more often just laid on the couch mouthing the words he was saying in his head. You and JJ had taken to playing silent games of cards so as not to disturb anyone. The only member of the team that didn’t use the return trip to decompress was your Unit Chief, Aaron Hotchner.
Hotch would spend the entire flight home with his nose in reports and files, refusing to pull himself from the dark place. You often hoped that he was at least able to let it go when he got home, to let the atrocities that you saw on a daily basis float out of his head even for a few hours just to get some rest. Tonight was different, though. About halfway through the three-hour flight back, Hotch made his way over to you when he noticed your game with JJ had just ended. Your friend excused herself to let you talk about whatever was making Hotch frown at you so seriously. You were pretty sure you knew where this was headed, you just hoped you were wrong.
“Anything I can help you with, sir?” You asked. “Uh, Hotch, I mean.” He had been telling you for weeks now to just call him Hotch, but you couldn’t help it. You were still the new girl and a desperate people pleaser, so the respectful girl your mama raised could not call a superior by a nickname.
“We need to talk,” Hotch said, dropping into the seat across from you.
“What about?” You aimed for innocence but landed somewhere near defensive.
“You disobeyed a direct order,” He said. “And you were nearly thirty minutes late to the briefing before we even left. Is there anything going on that I should know about?”
“Uh, no, not that I can think of,” You said nervously. “I was late because the train was delayed at the station near my house, I’ll try not to let it happen again.”
“What about disregarding a direct order?” His brow furrowed. “You were asked to go meet Morgan at the victim’s parents' house and you never showed, you stayed with Reid at the precinct.”
“I’m sorry,” You said quietly. “I couldn’t – no one was available to take me there.”
“So why didn’t you just go there by yourself?” Hotch asked incredulously. “There were several SUVs still at the precinct available to you.”
“Hotch,” You said under your breath. “I couldn’t.”
“Why not?”
“Fine,” You said, resisting the urge to roll your eyes. “If I tell you this, you are not allowed to laugh.” At his curious nod, you sighed and said, “I can’t drive. I don’t have a license and I never learned how to drive.”
Hotch just stared at you in surprise, eyes wide and mouth agape. You glared at him when the corners of his lips curled up into a disbelieving grin.
“You really can’t drive?” Hotch asked. At your nod, he put his chin in his hand and you knew he was attempting to cover the smile on his mouth.
Part of you wanted to smack him for being so amused by your inability to operate a car, but the other part of you wanted to wrench his hand down to see the smile on his face. He didn’t smile nearly enough.
“That needs to change,” He stated. “I can’t have an agent in the field who doesn’t know how to drive.”
“Uh, Hotch, I don’t know if you’ve popped by your local driving instructors lately,” You said. “But they don’t often take twenty-four-year-old students.”
“No,” He chuckled. “Which is why I’m going to teach you.”
“What?”
“I’ll teach you,” He shrugged. “You need to learn and I’m the best driver on the team.”
“Yeah, you’re real humble too,” You mumbled. Hotch grinned slightly at your words and the world stopped at his beautiful smile, the dimples in his cheeks deepening deliciously.
“We’ll start on Monday,” He said. “After work.”
Hotch didn’t wait for a response, he simply stood from where he was sitting and walked back to his own seat. When JJ came back a few seconds later and asked what that was about, you grumbled that you didn’t want to talk about it, thankfully she listened.
You were grateful that Hotch was willing to take time out of his busy schedule to help you, but you’d seen him try to teach Spencer how to jet’s computer to talk to Garcia, and you were sure the frustration you’d seen on his face that day was only going to be multiplied when trying to teach you how to drive. There wasn’t really a reason that you didn’t already have your license, it was more that your life had gotten in the way and you never had time to do the classes and the practice. It was pretty low on your priority list, and when you moved to D.C. and found the slick subway system, it just slipped your mind that you might need a license at some point.
For the entire weekend, all you thought about was your impending lesson with Hotch. You couldn’t lie and say you weren’t a little excited to be alone with him, to have all his attention on you. The man was undeniably handsome and funny, and kind. He was pretty much the perfect man. Unfortunately, he was also your boss and twenty years older than you. That didn’t stop you from wanting to throw yourself into his arms and kiss him nearly every minute of every day. You would need to practice all of your restraint during these lessons.
On Monday, you were struggling to focus on any semblance of work as you stressed about your upcoming driving lesson. Hotch had informed you that you would drive around in the parking garage until you could be trusted on an actual road, and you were glad. Your career would most certainly have gone down the drain if you crashed a car with your boss in it. That evening, you waited for Hotch in his office as grabbed his things, and tossed you the car keys.
“I don’t know about this,” You said when you got to the parking garage. “I mean, I’m perfectly comfortable taking the train, and making Morgan drive everywhere.”
“Get in the car,” Hotch said.
“Right.” You slid into the SUV, buckling your seatbelt, and gripped the steering wheel, flexing your fingers around the leather.
“Don’t be nervous,” Hotch said softly from the passenger’s seat. “Okay, what do you do first?”
“Um, put the key in the ignition?” Hotch nodded at you, so you did just that. When the car was on, you put your hand on the gear shift. “Then, put it in reverse.”
“Make sure you have your foot on the brake,” He warned.
Following his guidance, you were able to back the car out of the parking space and put it in drive. He had you go around the parking garage slowly, to get a feel for being behind the wheel.
“How you doing?” He asked.
“Okay,” You breathed out nervously. “I’m really trying not to crash a government-funded car.”
“They have insurance,” He shrugged. “Much better insurance than I have, which is why we’re not in my Subaru.” You could hear the teasing smile in his voice, and you desperately wanted to turn and look at it, but you kept your eyes focused on driving.
You kept expecting him to tell you to stop, or that you were doing things wrong, but he kept throwing encouragement and helpful suggestions at you. His demeanor was so different from what you were used to at the office, he was soft-spoken and downright gentle as he taught you how to drive.
“How did you learn to drive, Hotch?” You asked after putting the car in park at the end of the lesson.
“My father taught me,” He said. “He made me learn on a stick-shift first, apparently it makes learning on an automatic easier. Be glad I don’t have access to a stick, or that’s what you’d be learning on.”
“I literally have no idea what that means,” You said, smiling when he laughed. The sound was addictive, you wanted to drown yourself in his laugh.
“You did good tonight, (y/n),” Hotch said, hopping out of the car. “We’ll do the garage one more time, and then you’ll hit the road next week. If we keep at this you could be taking the test in no time.”
“R-really?” You asked.
“Mhm,” He nodded, heading for his car. “Hey, where are you going?”
“Uh, I need to catch the train.”
“I’ll drive you home,” Hotch said, jerking his head towards his own car.
“Oh, Hotch, that’s – you don’t have to do that.”
“Yes, I do,” He said, opening the passenger door for you. “I can’t let you take the train when your place is on the way to my house. Come on, let’s get out of here.”
Figuring it would just be easier not to argue at this point, you got into a car with your boss for the second time that night. How he knew the route to your apartment, you had no idea, but he didn’t even need you to point out directions. He did make you tell him every step that he should take while driving, every stop sign and every use of the blinker. When he rolled into the parking lot at your building and put the car in park, you sat for a moment and just looked at his handsome face illuminated by the street lights.
“Thank you, Hotch,” You said, and he turned to you with a raised eyebrow. “For driving me home, and for being so patient with me tonight.”
“Don’t worry about it,” He shrugged. “You can’t learn to drive if your teacher does nothing but get frustrated with you.”
“I mean it, Aaron,” You said, watching his eyes drag to you. “Thank you.”
“Don’t thank me until you pass that test,” He smiled at you, and you smiled back.
“Have a good night,” You said, hesitating before climbing out of the car. “Drive home safe.”
“I will.”
You watched from the window in your building as he pulled away and drove off. He really had been incredible with you tonight, it didn’t even feel like you were with your boss, he felt more like a friend. He’d felt like more than that.
Your feelings that started that first night only grew the more alone time you spent with him. Every time your hands brushed one another over the gear shift, or when he made you help him pump gas so you could see how it worked and he stood close behind you, hovering to make sure you were doing it right, you felt a spark in your stomach. You could have so easily leaned back into him, begged him to wrap his arms around you, and kiss you. He drove you home every night too, claiming that it was easier to just take you home himself than worry that you were getting kidnapped on the train. The fact that he worried about made you wonder if he could have felt the same way about you that you felt about him. Not to mention the way he would stay in your parking lot and talk with you for an hour while dropping you off, chatting about everything and nothing all at the same time.
Over the next several weeks, any free time you and Hotch both had was spent with him attempting to get you over your fear of the road. When he finally made you venture out into the real world and drive through a residential area, you nearly took out three mailboxes and a bike. Hotch’s face had turned red, and you knew he wanted to yell – either in fear or frustration – but he kept to his promise that he would stay patient and reminded you to be aware of all surroundings. Still, after a few more lessons on the road, you felt more and more confident behind the wheel.
You were parked in a high school parking lot going over parking a few days before your test when you asked Hotch about his driver’s license picture. He was showing you how he parallel parked, and when he put the car in park, you turned to him and begged to see the card.
“Please,” You said with an innocent smile. “I just want to hold it for inspiration and support.”
“It looks just like my bureau badge,” He shrugged, reaching into his wallet to grab it.
“Well, come on, then,” You said, opening your hand for him to put the card in it. “Let’s see this gold-star driver’s license.”
“Don’t bend it,” Hotch said, handing it over.
“Wouldn’t dream of it,” You grinned.
His picture was just what you’d expected it to be, his perfectly groomed and placed self, standing in front of the monochrome background. Not a hint of that beautiful smile that you saw more and more of with every lesson. The smile you craved like a crazy person during the long hours of the job.
“God, Hotch,” You said flipping the card over. “Look at your signature! It’s a wonder anyone can even read your writing, but it’s not like I didn’t know your handwriting was atrocious. Aaron Hotchner, you’re 6’1?”
“Okay,” He scowled at you, only making you grin more. “You’ve lost your privileges, hand it over.”
Holding it out of his grasp, you cackled as he leaned over the center council to rip it out of your hands. You wrestled like that for a few seconds before he reached your arm, but in the process, he had pushed himself out of his seat and was now hovering over you, his face inches from yours. It would have been so easy to tilt your head up and kiss him, to pull him down by the tie to meet your lips. Fortunately for you, you didn’t need to kiss him, because he kissed you.
Your mouths met in a gasp of electricity. Lips and tongues and teeth smashing together in a kiss that stole your breath away only to breathe new life back into you. Your hands fisted his shirt in a tight grip, pulling him ever closer to you. Aaron – because it felt a little inappropriate to call him by his work nickname when his tongue was down your throat – was a phenomenal kisser. He pulled back just enough to make you push in to keep connected with him.
“Wait,” Aaron breathed out, breaking the kiss. “This is a bad idea.”
“I don’t care,” You panted. “I don’t care if it’s the worst idea in the world, I want you to kiss me, Aaron.”
“I want that too,” He said. “God, (y/n), you have no idea how much I want that, but we can’t; I’m your boss.”
“Right,” You cleared your throat as he pulled away back into the driver’s seat.
Silence fell around you, awkward for the first time since you started these driving lessons. You felt yourself curling inwards, trying to escape the crushing embarrassment of being rejected by Aaron.
He dropped you off at your apartment, and you mumbled goodbye to him before jumping out of the car. He’d looked like he wanted to say something to you before you fled the car, but you couldn’t bear to hear him apologize again. You understood where he was coming from, of course, but it didn’t make it any easier knowing he didn’t like you the way you liked him.
The next morning at work, you avoided his eyes, and it felt like he was avoiding you as well. That was just fine with you, you weren’t in the mood to make yourself miserable over this man. This continued for the next three days, and you were still miserable, you missed him; missed his friendship, his laugh, his smile, everything about him. You missed the feeling of his lips against yours.
On the day of your test, you shuffled into the DMV to check in and trembled with nerves. Aaron had promised you weeks ago that he would be there to calm you down before your test and take you out for a drink when it was over, but after what happened you walked into the government building alone. It was better this way, with no distractions. That was bullshit, you were more distracted than you could have ever been. Here you were, a twenty-four-year-old woman testing for her driver’s license and all you could think about was how in love with your boss you were.
As you pulled open the glass door to get to the testing site, you stopped when you heard someone calling your name. Your heart leaped into your throat as the familiar voice, and when you turned to see Aaron standing in the drab government building panting from running to get to you, your pulse beat a mile a minute.
“Aaron,” You said. “W-why are you here?”
“I couldn’t let you take the test without saying good luck,” He said, looking nervous. “Not that you need it, you’ll pass with flying colors.” You looked at him then, taking in his wide eyes and flushed cheeks.
“Thank you,” You breathed out. “I’m nervous.”
“Don’t be,” He smiled. “Oh, I almost forgot. Here,” He handed you his own license. “For inspiration and support.”
Tears pricked in your eyes as you took it with shaking hands, wrapping your fingers around the flexible card. He nodded at you, nudging you back towards the door. You let out a breath, keeping your eyes on his for strength before heading in to take your test.
Aaron was sitting on the bench waiting for you when you finished. He jumped up and raised his eyebrows at you.
“Well?” He asked.
“I passed!” You exclaimed with a smile.
“I knew you would,” Aaron grinned, pulling you into his arms and hugging you tightly. “Congratulations, (y/n).”
“I wouldn’t have been able to do it without you, Aaron,” You said, looking up into his eyes. A heartbeat passed as you stared at one another, the silence charged with some indiscernible heat.
“Fuck it,” He mumbled, leaning down and kissing you deeply. “I can’t stay away from you, not anymore. I’ve missed you so much these last few days.”
“I’ve missed you too,” You grinned.
“Do you want to get dinner with me?”
“Can I drive?”
“My car?” You nodded. “No way, I’d like to keep my mirrors intact.”
“Jerk!” You laughed, hitting his arm. He tossed you his keys anyway, taking your hand in his and leading you out the door.
Once again you were in a car with Aaron Hotchner, and as you drove to the restaurant you agreed on, you knew there was no one you’d rather have as your co-pilot than your grumpy, stern, patient man. Nothing was certain, and it was true that him being your boss could pose a problem for you, but for Aaron you were willing to make it work if you could drive off into the sunset together.