Chapter Text
Alya Cesaire created Protect Marinette Squad
Alya Cesaire added Nino Lahiffe, Adrien Agreste, Alix Kubdel, Rose Lavillant, Juleka Couffaine, Mylène Haprèle, Ivan Bruel, Max Kanté, Nathaniel Kurtzberg, and Kim Chiến Lê
Alya Cesaire has changed their name to Detective Wifi
Detective Wifi: ok, do you all know why you're here??
Nino Lahiffe has changed their name to Nino
Kim Chiến Lê has changed their name to imbetterthanalix
Nino: umm.. no?
Rose Lavillant has changed their name to Rose <3
Juleka Couffaine has changed their name to jewels
Max Kanté has changed their name to Max
Nathaniel Kurtzberg has changed their name to nath
Alix Kubdel has changed their name to imbetterthankim
Ivan Bruel has changed their name to Ivan
Mylène Haprèle has changed their name to Mylène
Adrien Agreste: How do you all change your names?
imbetterthankim has changed Adrien Agreste's name to sunshine boy
sunshine boi: Thank you, Alix!
sunshine boi: Wait, why am I called sunshine boi?
sunshine boi: My name is Adrien.
imbetterthankim: we know that sunshine, that's just your nickname
sunshine boi: Ohh, thanks!
Detective Wifi: guysss we're here for an important mission are you all going to pay attention?!?!
rose <3: is the title of the chat related?
rose <3: we all love marinette!!
Detective Wifi: ofc we love marinette :)
Detective Wifi: that's why i made this chat
imbetterthankim: is it cuz of the whole lila thing with marinette?
Detective Wifi: bingo!!
Detective Wifi: i trust my bff but she just refuses to spend time with lila
Detective Wifi: and lila's pretty amazing
rose <3: Yes! Lila's awesome <33
Detective Wifi: so i don't get why they won't get along
Max: Well, Marinette claims that Lila 'lies with every breath', though she hasn't offered any proof.
sunshine boi: Did you guys get proof that Lila did everything she claims?
sunshine boi: Just saying, it's not very fair to make Marinette give proof when you don't have any.
rose <3: but lila would never lie! :(
jewels: if it means anything, luka doesn't like her
Detective Wifi: can you add him? we should have everyone who knows about lila in this to figure it out
jewels added Luka Couffaine
nath: can i add marc?
nath: he brought up some stuff about lila recently
nath: and he's marinette's cousin
nath: soo
Detective Wifi: go ahead!! he'll want to be on the marinette protection squad
Mylène: Wasn't it the Protect Marinette Squad?
Detective Wifi: same difference
Mylène: that... doesn't make sense...
Detective Wifi changed the chat name to Marinette Protection Squad
Detective Wifi: it sounds better
nath added Marc Anciel
Luka Couffaine changed their name to luka
Marc Anciel changed their name to marc :)
luka: what are we protecting marinette from?
jewels: the lila girl remember?
jewels: you said her song sounded like 'screeching from an inner demon along with the nails on a chalkboard'
luka: oh. her.
Detective Wifi: what inner demon??
Detective Wifi: nails on chalkboard??
rose <3: but that can't be true!! :((
rose <3: lila's so kind
rose <3: and does so much!
sunshine boi: Can I add some people? They're on Marinette's side.
Detective Wifi: go ahead sunshine
sunshine boi added Kagami Tsurugi and Chloé Bourgeois
Detective Wifi: ... seriously?
Nino: bro...
Chloé Bourgeois added Sabrina Raincomprix
Chloé Bourgeois changed their name to Queen Bee
Sabrina Raincomprix changed their name to Sabrina
Kagami Tsurugi: What is this about Marinette?
Queen Bee: and what is kagami doing here?
Queen Bee: adrikins i thought you knew me better
sunshine boi: Kagami is Marinette's friend and Chloé hates Lila!
Detective Wifi: wait since when is kagami marinette's friend
Detective Wifi: i thought they hated each other!!
Kagami Tsurugi: That was a misunderstanding. We got over our differences since Marinette is very kind and helped me get out on Friendship Day. Is Lila the same girl who sent the picture with Adrien?
sunshine boi: That's the one!
Kagami Tsurugi: I don't like her.
Detective Wifi: okkk i guess we have a lot more people against lila here than i thought
marc :): me too
marc :): she said she knew the writer of the ladybug comics
marc :): and i thought it was a misunderstanding
marc :): since i'm the writer
marc :): but maybe it wasn't?
imbetterthankim: oof
imbetterthanalix: major blow
nath: i didn't want to believe it either
nath: but if she's hurting marinette...
marc :): marinette got us together in the first place
marc :): and she was my first friend
marc :): and introduced me to the art club
marc :): she wouldn't hate someone for no reason
Detective Wifi: .... jealousy? maybe, idk that doesn't seem like a good reason
sunshine boi: What would Marinette have to be jealous of? She actually has worked with people like Jagged Stone and Clara Nightingale and got approval of her designs from my dad and Chloé's mom!
Detective Wifi: right sunshine... that's what she's jealous of...
Kagami Tsurugi: Marinette became my friend even with our disagreements. I highly doubt she would hate someone for such petty reasons.
Queen Bee: but seriously, pushing lie-la down the stairs?
Queen Bee: i've bullied her all my life and she's never done that
Queen Bee: you all are ridiculous
Queen Bee: utterly ridiculous
sunshine boi: See? I told you they were on Marinette's side! :)
imbetterthankim: good going sunshine
Detective Wifi: so what? is the conclusion just that lila's lying??
Detective Wifi: and if it is, then how much has she lied about?
Nino: and what was going on with marinette getting expelled
Nino: and then returning all of a sudden
Nino: and we got like no information about what happened
sunshine boi: Oh... I might have played a small part in that
Detective Wifi: YOU GOT MARINETTE EXPELLED?!?!?!
sunshine boi: NO NO NO I got Marinette back in school
sunshine boi: I made an agreement with Lila because I knew she was lying.
sunshine boi: I told her to turn it around and get Marinette back.
sunshine boi: She made up some lying disease or something but now I have to do photoshoots with her.
sunshine boi: She's really annoying but I put up with it.
imbetterthankim: wow sunshine...
imbetterthankim: didn't know you had it in you
imbetterthankim: so when are you announcing that you're dating??
sunshine boi: Who?
Queen Bee: ridiculous
Detective Wifi: YOU AND MARINETTE!
sunshine boi: Marinette's just a friend!
Kagami Tsurugi: I have the urge to chop down another tree.
imbetterthankim changed Kagami Tsurugi's name to dangerous
imbetterthankim changed sunshine boi's name to oblivious sunshine boi
oblivious sunshine boi: Why am I oblivious?
Detective Wifi: that's literally your answer
Detective Wifi: but anyway, lila got marinette expelled
Detective Wifi: and then adrien got her back
Detective Wifi: but the question is
Detective Wifi: did lila do it on purpose?
rose <3: so you really think she's lying? :(
luka: inner demon
jewels: manipulative bitch
jewels: sorry rose
rose <3: it's ok juleka <3
rose <3: i'm just really sad
Mylène: Me too! Are you sure Lila was lying about everything??
Ivan: We donated to her 'charities'!
Detective Wifi: k
Detective Wifi: ik this is rlly disappointing
Detective Wifi: like i literally posted her interview on my blog
Detective Wifi: oh shit i need to delete that
Detective Wifi: but im gonna talk to marinette
Detective Wifi: and see her side of the story
ladyblogger -> designergirl
ladyblogger: heyy girl
designergirl: hey alya!
designergirl: what's up?
ladyblogger: so i've been literally the worst friend ever
ladyblogger: could you tell me your whole side of the story with the lila thing?
ladyblogger: i'm so so so sorry that i didn't believe you before
designergirl: first of all, you're not a horrible friend
designergirl: you got caught up in her stories and that's understandable
designergirl: i mean, everyone in the class has achieved great things so it's not that unbelievable i guess
designergirl: i just wished you had trusted me when i said she was lying
ladyblogger: i know mari...
ladyblogger: i was too obsessed with her *fake* bff ladybug and i got carried away
ladyblogger: the rest of the class knows it too
ladyblogger: but we wanted to talk about the expulsion thing and i need to know why lila would try to frame you
designergirl: fine
designergirl: so basically, i knew she was lying from the beginning because of my own connections (i'm not gonna brag about that sort of stuff, but then again, i DO know jagged stone and clara nightingale personally, and i knew that she was lying about that) so i called her out on it cause i didn't want you guys to get mislead. she kept bragging about how she could get you connections and your interview thing and you could get in serious trouble for that if ladybug saw it or something and called you out. i know it could look like i was jealous but you should rlly know me better since im friends with kagami.. like yeah i was a bit jealous at first but then i realized that the problem was deeper.
designergirl: especially cause i followed her when she was looking suspicious
designergirl: and you know that book that adrien 'stole' that got him taken out of school? lila had taken it and thrown it in the trash. i obviously took it and returned it when i realized that adrien had gotten in trouble and he was able to get back but i tried to expose lila more from then on to show you guys
designergirl: anyway when it came to when i was expelled, lila had threatened me in the bathroom, saying she was going to take away all my friends and i nearly got akumatized but i obviously couldn't give up
designergirl: and adrien knew she was lying to since ladybug had come by and exposed lila in front of him so we kept quiet for a while, but i did try to point it out. lila came back and framed me with the test, she walked down the staircase and started yelling (saying that i had pushed her) and put the necklace in my locker.
designergirl: then, i nearly got akumatized again (which btw doesn't that seem a bit suspicious that lila had sort of set up that entire interaction?? not blaming her for working with hawkmoth since that's really serious but still isn't great) but she got me expelled and then i got back to school a few days later with no explanation other than she had created this 'lying disease'. i thought that she had come around and was a good person so i hoped we could become friends but she just glared and walked away.
designergirl: so yeah
designergirl: alya?
Marinette Protection Squad
Detective Wifi: [screenshot.jpg]
Detective Wifi: guys.
Detective Wifi: this is more serious than we thought
Detective Wifi: like really bad
oblivious sunshine boi: She stole my book
oblivious sunshine boi: She THREATENED MARINETTE
oblivious sunshine boi: SHE NEARLY GOT MARINETTE OUR EVERYDAY LADYBUG AKUMATIZED
oblivious sunshine boi: I'm going to kill her.
imbetterthankim: and you were saying she's just a friend??
imbetterthankim: but we have to do something
imbetterthankim: we need to come up with a plan
imbetterthanalix: i agree
imbetterthanalix: for the first time
imbetterthanalix: but we've known mari for ages and no one can just hurt her like that
imbetterthanalix: i feel like an idiot
rose <3: i still can't believe she would do that!
jewels: wanna come over?
rose <3: yea i'm on my way
dangerous: I have a sword.
oblivious sunshine boi: I've got a sword too.
luka: i don't have a sword but i'm willing to learn??
Nino: same here
Detective Wifi: i'm completely in
Detective Wifi: no one can just threaten mari like that
oblivious sunshine boi added Chat Noir
Chat Noir: I've got cataclysm
Chat Noir: and a mini god of destruction
Detective Wifi: I-
Detective Wifi: Chat Noir is in our chat
Detective Wifi: CHAT NOIR IS IN OUR CHAT
Detective Wifi: ADRIEN HOW DO YOU HAVE CHAT NOIR'S CONTACT INFO
oblivious sunshine boi: Forget that I'm famous?
Chat Noir: and I'm annoyed you didn't add me in the first place
oblivious sunshine boi: shut up
Chat Noir: what r u gonna do perfume ad?
oblivious sunshine boi: You're literally dressed in a cat suit!
Chat Noir: I'm Marinette's favorite!
oblivious sunshine boi: No, you definitely are not!
imbetterthankim changed oblivious sunshine boi's name to perfume ad
imbetterthankim changed Chat Noir's name to kitty
perfume ad: You're really lucky that I still don't know how to change my name!
imbetterthankim: ;)
Detective Wifi: ok ignoring the fact that a literal superhero and model fought in the group chat for marinette's love
Detective Wifi: we need to do something worse
Detective Wifi: like a cataclysm or sword only causes temporary pain
Detective Wifi: we need to completely demolish lila
kitty: i can confirm that cataclysm is very painful
kitty: but i'm down for more destruction
Detective Wifi: wait lila just texted me!!
nath: don't kill her yet
nath: we need to wait for the right time
Lila Rossi -> Alya Cesaire
Lila Rossi: Hey, Alya!
Lila Rossi: I was wondering why you took down the interviews on your Ladyblog :)
Lila Rossi: Is there a problem with them?
Marinette Protection Squad
Detective Wifi: it is taking all of my willpower not to explode on her through text rn
Detective Wifi: she wants to know why i'm taking down her interviews?!?!
kitty: say it's for her own protection
kitty: that hawkmoth could target her
Lila Rossi -> Alya Cesaire
Alya Cesaire: hey lila!
Alya Cesaire: i was just worried that you could be targetted by hawkmoth becauase of them
Alya Cesaire: cuz you've been akumatized three times already
Lila Rossi: Oh, I really don't think it's a problem!
Lila Rossi: After all, Ladybug will always be there to save me <3
Alya Cesaire: ofc girl, it's just for extra protection
Alya Cesaire: i wanna make sure you're safe
Alya Cesaire: especially with all the things that you do for us
Lila Rossi: Alright!! :) Just let me know if you ever want to film another one!
Alya Cesaire: definitely
Marinette Protection Squad
Detective Wifi: alright convinced her it was for safety or smth
Detective Wifi: but she was obviously upset
kitty: wait a sec
kitty added Ladybug
kitty: hey bugaboo!!
Ladybug: Chat Noir??
Ladybug: why did you add me to a civilian group chat?!
Ladybug: for marinette?
Ladybug: like marinette dupain-cheng?
Detective Wifi: omg omg omg omg
Detective Wifi: *internally fangirling*
Detective Wifi: HI LADYBUG!!!
Detective Wifi: it's Alya! like from the ladyblog!!
Ladybug: hi Alya :)
Ladybug: Chat....
stupid cat -> bugaboo
bugaboo: you have some explaining to do
stupid cat: it's for very important reasons
stupid cat: there's this liar that adrien told me about, y'know volpina and chameleon?
stupid cat: and she's targetting marinette
stupid cat: so we need to take her down
bugaboo: no cataclysm
stupid cat: we're going for worse than that
bugaboo: we really shouldn't be communicating with civilians anyway
stupid cat: but this is for Marinette
stupid cat: it's different
bugaboo: fine
Marinette Protection Squad
Ladybug: i've agreed to whatever the plan is as long as no one talks about it
Ladybug: i hate lila rossi anyway
Ladybug: and she's under surveillance for conspiring with hawkmoth
Ladybug: but that is the only reason!!
Detective Wifi: omg we've got paris superheroes on our team
Detective Wifi: lila's going down
Ladybug: does marinette know about this??
perfume ad: No, we wanted to keep her out of this.
perfume ad: It was our fault in the first place.
Ladybug: perfume ad?
kitty: that's adrien!!
Ladybug: ohh, sorry Adrien!
Nino: anyway dudes
Nino: do we have a plan?
Detective Wifi: i think i've got one
Queen Bee: let me guess, you're going to need moi
Detective Wifi: as much as i hate to admit it
Detective Wifi: yes
Detective Wifi: Jagged Stone lives in your hotel right?
Queen Bee: yes.
Queen Bee: and i have contacts of prince ali, clara nightingale, and xy as well
Queen Bee: and my mom and daddy
Queen Bee: and sabrina's dad is a cop
Sabrina: Yes!! I'm ready to help!
perfume ad: I can talk to my dad, but I doubt that he'll do anything. Lila really has him wrapped around his finger.
Ladybug: Adrien... you said the photoshoots with her were annoying... in what way?
perfume ad: Well, she's just really touchy and doesn't listen to the photagrapher.
perfume ad: She's always trying to make it look like we're a couple or something.
Ladybug: ... that's considered sexual harassment
Ladybug: right sabrina?
Sabrina: Correct! I checked with my dad, and she could get sued by Gabriel for that!
perfume ad: What??
perfume ad: It's fine, I've dealt with that sort of stuff, with being a model
Ladybug: have you told lila to stop?
perfume ad: Yeah, but she says that the 'chemistry' will help the photoshoot.
Ladybug: that's sexual harassment.
perfume ad: ... oh
Nino: can i adopt you??
Nino: like seriously
Detective Wifi: i could too!!
Detective Wifi: or marinette probably could
Detective Wifi: i mean, she lives in a bakery so it'd be great
Ladybug: WHAt?sdjghsd
Detective Wifi: Ladybug?
Ladybug: Oh! sorry, accidentally clicked send haha
Ladybug: maybe you should check with marinette first, though!
Ladybug: anyway, back on track, what else did she lie about?
marc :): she said she knew the author of our comic
nath: yeah, that's not cool
Mylène: The charities!
Detective Wifi: my blog about you
Detective Wifi: i'm so sorry by the way for posting that
Detective Wifi: i should have checked my sources but i'll post an apology video in a few days
Detective Wifi: after we take down lila
Nino: she said she knew a bunch of djs and film-makers like Thomas Astruc
kitty: i could talk with thomas
kitty: after all, he did make a movie about us
Ladybug: you know, this would be a lot easier with marinette
Ladybug: doesn't she have thomas' phone number?
Ladybug: and clara nightingale and jagged stone and his assistant?
Detective Wifi: She does!!
Detective Wifi: but this is for her and we need to do it ourselves
Detective Wifi: wait how do you know she has those contacts???
Ladybug: oh, i know her! i love her parent's bakery!!
Ladybug: i overheard her parents talking about it while eating a croissant haha
imbetterthanalix: wow you know the bakery's good if superheros are going there
imbetterthankim: fax
Max: I could potentially hack into security cameras for proof following up Marinette's expulsion!
Max: Markov could make sure that the footage is 100% accurate.
Detective Wifi: perfect!!
Detective Wifi: and then sabrina and chloe and their dads could talk to principle damocles
Detective Wifi: do you think...
Detective Wifi: do you think we could contact her mom?
Detective Wifi: or is that overkill
dangerous: I don't think that would be 'overkill'.
dangerous: My mother works with embassadors quite often. I could ask her of the contact of a friend's parent saying I am 'concerned' for Lie-la's wellbeing.
dangerous: After all, you did say she had multiple illnesses, correct?
perfume ad: Now do you think it was a bad idea for me to add them??
perfume ad: Perfect, Kagami!
Detective Wifi: yes, sunshine, you were completely correct
Detective Wifi: and kagami, that would be amazing
Detective Wifi: nath, your parents are doctors aren't they?
nath: yup
nath: can you send me a list of all the injuries/illnesses she said she had?
nath: i barely pay attention to her
Detective Wifi: sure thing!
Detective Wifi: alright, guys, the plan's in motion.