Work Text:
The way Junmyeon looks at him still throws Chanyeol off even after nearly a year of this.
He never expected to end up hiding from the rest of the world, having to go completely off the grid with everything from his life left behind: his friends, his family, his job, everything .
The last thing he expected the quiet, shy jock from high school to become was the type of person he’s staring down now.
Chanyeol can hear sirens echoing through the city, never falling behind over two streets behind them. The sound of their footsteps would usually thunder on the pavement at this time of night, but in the cover of darkness they’re nearly invisible.
They’ve been sprinting away for a while now, needing to get away desperately. They got into trouble- well, Chanyeol attracted trouble and then Junmyeon escalated it. Neither one of them aren’t to blame, both equally to blame.
His legs are burning but he knows better than to slow down now. Junmyeon wouldn’t leave him, but fuck he’d be pissed if Chanyeol ended up getting them caught out here.
They don’t have the best record with the local authorities, and they would be more than happy to bring both of them in for the fight they were in tonight.
Before he can dwell on it anymore, he’s suddenly being yanked by the arm to the side, having to muffle the noise in surprise that’s drawn out of him instinctively. His brain can barely keep up as Junmyeon leads them past one of the dumpsters, pushing Chanyeol against the wall and quickly covering the taller’s body with his own.
“Shh.” Junmyeon shushes, caging him in and making Chanyeol’s mind dissolve into TV static.
Chanyeol had a crush on him back in high school, a very, very big one. They had lost touch for a year before they reconnected, and Chanyeol thought he’d forgotten about it. He thought it was gone; he thought he was just happy to have him back in his life fully, but apparently there’s still something remaining.
Maybe it’s how Junmyeon looks that’s affecting him right now. He’s close, way too close for his sanity’s sake. He can see all the details in Junmyeon’s features, everything from the small scars he has from sports to how pretty Junmyeon’s eyes are.
They’re both out of breath from running so much, faces close enough for their breaths to mix. It seems to stun both of them initially before a soft, nervous chuckle escapes from Chanyeol’s lips and immediately Junmyeon perks up at the sudden sound. He quickly shushes Chanyeol again, pressing a hand to his mouth but regardless, a small smile breaks out on his lips.
Slowly but surely the fuss dies down, letting the calm of the night slowly but surely settle in. The tension slowly leaves from his body, relaxing against Junmyeon.
When the hand is finally removed from Chanyeol’s mouth he takes a moment before his brain reboots, his eyes still locked onto Junmyeon’s features.
“I think the coast is clear now, we could leave.” Junmyeon speaks up first out of the two of them, but never makes a move to detach himself from Chanyeol.
“Yeah, we could.” Chanyeol agrees, only realizing how Junmyeon had worded it once it left his lips. Could? What does he mean they could leave? Shouldn’t they? Chanyeol’s eyes wander over Junmyeon’s face again, this time settling on his lips where there is blood left by a busted lip from a punch that the other guy landed. “We need to get you home, you’re bleeding.”
Junmyeon just hums indifferently, both of them still standing against the building, neither taking the first step to head out of the alleyway. They’ve come to a standstill, it seems.
For the first time in years, Chanyeol desperately wishes he could be something other than just a friend or be viewed as a little brother of sorts with Junmyeon.
“Chanyeol…” Junmyeon says quietly, a weird tone in his voice.
It takes Chanyeol a few seconds, but he moves his eyes up to meet Junmyeon’s eyes again. He gives him a soft smile, his own cheek probably already bruising from the one punch he’d taken. It stings, but the chill of the night air soothes it out.
“We should head out before someone gets suspicious of us lingering here.” Chanyeol points out after a moment, and that seems to snap the moment right out of existence, Junmyeon pushing off of him groggily. “My apartment is closer if you just want to stay the night.” He offers, and that brings a small smile to the edges of his lips, the older for once being careful of the injury.
“I’d be happy to not have to make that trek back home.” Junmyeon comments, moving away and feeling around in his pockets to make sure he has his wallet and phone still intact.
The walk home is uneventful. The cops are gone, most likely searching another part of town for them, thinking they’d kept running.
Dark shadows cast by buildings they pass by conceal them in the night as they move through town, trying to stick to paths that have little foot traffic.
The lock slides into place with a firm ‘click’ and with it comes the sound of a relieved sigh from Chanyeol’s lips.
Junmyeon is behind him, Chanyeol having entered the apartment first, so when he turns around he expects him to already be draped across the couch or in the kitchen getting the blood off, but he’s not.
Junmyeon is standing uncomfortably close again and just watching Chanyeol. He seems to do that a lot more now.
“C’mon, let’s get you cleaned up.” Chanyeol murmurs, running a hand through his hair out of habit. He has to walk around Junmyeon, who just watches him as he moves towards the bathroom. After a moment he hears light footsteps trailing after him.
Junmyeon moves past him in the tiny bathroom as he reaches for the cabinet, pulling out the nearly used up first aid kit.
His eyes flick back up when he sees Junmyeon sit down on the lid of the toilet rather ungracefully, the sight drawing a small smile on his lips. It’s second nature at this point to move, grabbing what piece of gauze they have left and turning to Junmyeon expectantly. Chanyeol holds it out for him, glancing back at the box to check if he has anything else he can use right now. When nothing happens in the next few seconds his eyes shoot back to Junmyeon, who’s just staring at him as if he’s waiting for something. He’s not making any move to grab the offered gauze to stop what’s left of the bleeding, his hands are still relaxed in his lap.
“Do I have to do it for you?” Chanyeol complains, mostly joking, but when Junmyeon just blinks at him, he realizes he’s dealing with the moody, after-fight Junmyeon that wants nothing to do with cleaning up. He’d rather leave it to heal on its own, no matter how many times Chanyeol tells him leaving an open wound dirty and uncovered is bad.
A sigh leaves him and Chanyeol hesitates before moving forward, standing between Junmyeon’s parted legs and staring down at very beautiful, very blank eyes. “I can’t believe you’re making me do this, you ass.” Chanyeol grumbles, bringing the gauze to press against the wound not so carefully, earning a hiss in pain from Junmyeon. He looks like he wants to bite Chanyeol’s hand off for that, and honestly right now Chanyeol doesn’t have the energy to react in time if he chose to. Living with a few less fingers can’t be that bad. Well, it probably is, but Chanyeol is exhausted and having to hold gauze on his high school crush’s lip for him.
“He hit you.” Junmyeon murmurs. His voice is a bit garbled by the way he can’t use his bottom lip, but the message comes across clearly enough.
“I’m fine. It’s nothing I can’t handle.” Chanyeol huffs, rolling his eyes and making sure he’s covering the entire split evenly. It shouldn’t take too long. He can do this, right? He’ll live.
“I would have curb stomped him if I knew that.” Chanyeol’s eyes widen and shoot to Junmyeon’s, seeing him staring back at him still.
Out of everything that he’s found out about Junmyeon that’s changed since high school, this is the most jarring. The way he just blurts out random threats, the way his eyes seem to glow after a fight; it’s completely different that the shy, baggy hoodie wearing jock he’d pined after years ago. The soft-spoken words turned into biting tones with razor edges. No hesitance of confrontation left in him anymore.
“No, you wouldn’t have.” Chanyeol argues immediately, shaking his head. By the time Junmyeon had broken the man’s nose tonight Chanyeol was dragging him away. He knew better than to stick around after the scream the man let out in pain. He was an asshole, sure. The man grabbed Chanyeol and lashed out when Chanyeol told him to fuck off, sure. But breaking his nose? That’s toeing the line of getting them deep into assault territory, and the hole they keep digging themselves is getting bigger and bigger with each time this happens.
“We both know I would’ve.” Junmyeon scoffs and Chanyeol knows he’s right, he can’t argue too much against it when he’s seen Junmyeon twist a man’s arm so hard it popped his shoulder out of place in seconds.
He can faintly smell Junmyeon’s cologne when he draws in a deep breath, letting it out slowly to calm his own heartbeat down, it still thundering in his ears from earlier. “We can’t keep ending up here like this.” Chanyeol sighs, stepping away. “Hold the gauze.” He orders, leaving no room for argument from the moody, unpredictable man in front of him.
Luckily, tonight Junmyeon is at least willing to hold it himself, letting Chanyeol move back to the sink and riffle through the box, looking for something specific. “Do I need to put a butterfly stitch on you so you don’t bust it back open within like, five minutes?” He asks but there’s no answer other than a small shift of fabric that Chanyeol doesn’t even register.
It’s not until something brushes against his back that he realizes Junmyeon got up and now is pressing against his back, draping over Chanyeol like a blanket.
“I thought I told you to hold the gauze.” Chanyeol complains, hands stilling as he glances down to see both of Junmyeon’s arms winding around his waist. The gauze is still in his hand, dried blood caught in the fibers.
“It’s boring.” Junmyeon says bluntly, leaning his weight half on Chanyeol stubbornly.
“I asked if you need to have-”
“No.” Junmyeon grumbles, his hold tightening on Chanyeol.
“Don’t be an asshole, I’m the one cleaning you up.” Chanyeol bites back, his voice not too aggressive, but still firm enough to hold his ground.
It falls silent between them as Chanyeol closes the plastic case with a click, reaching over to the cabinet to put the first-aid kit away.
He almost misses the words breathed out, not even as loud as a whisper.
“‘M sorry.” Junmyeon’s voice is muffled into his shirt, surprising him enough to tug on his heart. Chanyeol shuts his eyes, having to take a moment because that’s the quietest he’s spoken since he came back into his life. He knows Junmyeon doesn’t mean any harm to him, he’s never been a threat to Chanyeol. That doesn’t mean he’s always sunshine and roses though, he has his moments and even though Chanyeol really doesn’t appreciate them if he’s honest, he can deal with the grumpiness.
“It- Fine, it’s fine.” Chanyeol gets out, not daring to look into the mirror in front of him. He’s too afraid of what he’ll see and how it’ll haunt him.
“About both.” His voice is louder now, just under a normal speaking tone and the confusion it brings to Chanyeol makes him open his eyes and search for Junmyeon’s in the mirror.
Big mistake.
Junmyeon’s eyes are already locked onto him from over his shoulder, watching him with a simmering intensity that Chanyeol has always seen in flashes, even in high school, but never could understand. He does not know what it is or what it means when Junmyeon looks at him like that.
“What do you mean?” He asks, blinking a few times, trying to remember if Junmyeon snapped at him any other time tonight, but there’s nothing.
“The fight. I’m sorry about that too. You wanted to go see that rocker movie or whatever it was.” Junmyeon’s voice is as clear as ever now, but there’s an underlying softness he’s never heard before.
“Bohemian Rhapsody.” He corrects, and Junmyeon rolls his eyes, nodding a bit.
“That one, yeah. You’ve been excited about seeing it for the past week.”
Chanyeol has to pause at that, trying to think if he was that obvious about being that excited to see it. He might have shown it, he’s always been rather transparent after all. “It- It isn’t your fault the guy grabbed me.”
“Yeah, but he grabbed you. I didn’t stop it in time for him to hit you.” Junmyeon says it like it’s completely obvious, and Chanyeol is still trying to keep up from the apology to the movie comments, and now Junmyeon is-
Does Junmyeon think it’s his fault Chanyeol got hit?
“Hold on-” Chanyeol interrupts, squirming and moving in Junmyeon’s grip until he’s facing him. “Why do you sound guilty?”
Junmyeon choses this moment to fall back to his favorite reaction, just pointedly blinking at Chanyeol. Of course he does.
“You know you couldn’t have predicted he’d try to hit on me and then get angry.” Chanyeol says, his voice wary of what he’s walking into. He’s asking for answers without even knowing the right questions to even start with.
“Yeah but- I- You got hurt.”
“And so did you? I’m lost here.”
Junmyeon looks conflicted, as if he isn’t sure if he should say what he’s thinking, or if he should just give in and bite his tongue. “It’s different because it’s you.” He decides on, not giving anything for Chanyeol to work with.
“Because it’s me.” He repeats back to him, his eyebrows drawing together.
Junmyeon’s stare is unrelenting, watching Chanyeol as if he’s concerned Chanyeol will disappear into thin air and leave him alone. However, that changes when his eyes stray to the bruise that’s already showing on his cheek. A flicker of pain goes through his expression before it’s gone again.
“You’re too pretty to be getting into fights.” He says it like it’s a sin, like someone is going to overhear them and the moment will be broken. It isn’t, there isn’t anyone else but the two of them in the cheap apartment. There’s emotion in Junmyeon’s voice, an alarming amount of it. Chanyeol… Well, he doesn’t know what to say to that. “Fuck, you’re beautiful. You always have been. I’d burn the world to keep you safe.”
Chanyeol’s lips part in a mix of surprise and confusion, unsure of what direction this is heading. “Junmyeon, what-”
“I just care a lot about you, alright? I know it’s kinda creepy but- I just want to keep you safe now.” There’s an implication somewhere hidden in his words, one that Chanyeol isn’t brave enough to unpack just yet.
It’s silent between them for a few seconds, Chanyeol’s mind going a thousand miles a second. Something is in limbo between them right now. Chanyeol can leave it alone, he can give Junmyeon a soft smile and then tell him they should get to bed and everything will be the same, nothing has to change between them.
But-... But he could take a chance.
Chanyeol takes a breath, trying to draw in as much courage as he can before he decides.
“Junmyeon?” He prompts, breaking that tense air Junmyeon had set himself up with. He raises an eyebrow, and that’s the only response Junmyeon offers. “What would it take for you to kiss me?”
The question leaves his mouth, but nothing happens. Nothing happens like in the books; Junmyeon doesn’t explode in disgust, but he also doesn’t move an inch. The only sound in the apartment is a dull hum from the air system.
Junmyeon doesn’t outwardly react, he just stares like he always does.
He’s stubborn, but Chanyeol knows his own patience outlasts Junmyeon’s stubbornness.
It takes longer than it really should, longer than two normal college-age men should take to speak again.
“Nothing.” Junmyeon murmurs finally, but it answers nothing by the way he says it.
“Nothing.” Chanyeol repeats back to him in the same tone, not moving an inch.
“I’d hand you my wallet just to kiss you once.” He says it like it’s a totally normal thing, and it reminds Chanyeol of him in high school when he was horribly awkward. It’s endearing, though.
“Why would you hand me your wallet?” Chanyeol asks seriously, but a small, fond smile pulls at the corners of his lips.
“Because I might faint and they might need my ID at the hospital.” Junmyeon huffs as if it should be obvious, and it draws an unexpected laugh out of Chanyeol.
“Junmyeon, just kiss me.” He prompts and breaking out of that timid moment, Junmyeon does his little blink at him, processing the words.
“It’s rude to order people around.” Junmyeon snaps out but before Chanyeol can react, lips are on his.
There're no fireworks, it’s more like satisfying a craving he’s had for years.
That is until he tastes blood.
Chanyeol yanks back, hearing Junmyeon make a loud noise in protest.
“Fucking- You- Ugh.” Chanyeol groans, picking up the gauze from where Junmyeon had tossed it on the sink and pressing it to his lip. “Your lip is busted.”
“You asked about kissing!” Junmyeon protests, even though it’s muffled.
“Because you called me pretty!”
“Yeah, because I love you.” Junmyeon scoffs, watching Chanyeol freeze up at the confession, not having expected that but honestly, he doesn’t know what to expect by now around Junmyeon. He doesn’t take it back, though. He just stares at Chanyeol like he’s waiting for another quip that he can respond to.
Chanyeol swallows, licking his lips nervously and crinkling up his nose at the taste of blood still there. Before his free hand can come up to wipe it away, Junmyeon is reaching up, wiping at his lip with a surprising amount of gentleness.
“Tell me that in the morning when we put ice on your lip.” He huffs, red blooming across his cheeks, even making it to his ears.
Amusement glints in Junmyeon’s eyes and a smile pulls at his lips. “Alright.”
“Alright.” Chanyeol breathes out, mirroring the smile, and it feels like an empty slot just clicked into place.
-
“Why do you-” Chanyeol asks days later, but he’s interrupted by a clingy, sleepy Junmyeon trying to wrap his limbs around him like an octopus. “Why do you always stare at me like that?”
“Mm. I couldn’t back then, but now I can. So I do.” He says with the grace of a caveman, but it answers the question the same.
He’s about to ask something else before he’s yanked down into a kiss, drawing a loud laugh out of him.
Questions can wait, he supposes. Right now he has an armful of a grumpy boyfriend to deal with.