Chapter Text
All Our Own
-Chapter One: Prologue-
Three Years Ago
It’s often been said that males who present as Omega will experience a plethora of hardships in their lives, that it’s unfortunately inevitable. It’s also been argued by the conservative community that the reason behind such hardships is the result of Adam listening to his mate, Eve and partaking in the forbidden fruit offered to him. As punishment, God tossed them from the garden and cursed their sons with both the male and female reproductive system. Quite unfortunate really, as it poses certain health risks to both father and child.
Of course, Castiel Novak has never really subscribed to such a dramatic ‘origin story’, and despite being well aware of all the risks involved, he still wanted a family of his own. He wanted the whole experience of growing with child, of feeling those little flutters of movement to those intense little kicks. Besides, it’s not like every male omega is destined for a difficult pregnancy. There have been many medical advances over the decades. Castiel had faith that no matter what, he would be in the care of an amazing team of doctors and nurses.
So, when Castiel went into labor almost two months early, he and his mate Mathew weren’t entirely panicked. Okay, so maybe Castiel was panicked, but he was warned about this by his OBGYN and by his doctor. He had every faith in the world that he and his unborn child would be well taken care of.
“You’ll be just fine babe.” Mathew took Castiel’s hand in his and kissed his knuckles.
“We’ll get you set up in the OR as soon as possible.” The doctor began as he disposed of the gloves he used for the examination. “It should be a pretty routine C-section. We’ll get you numbed up real good and you’ll be able to meet your daughter soon.”
Castiel nodded in understanding before turning to his mate. “Mathew, I’m scared.” He nuzzled into the crook of his neck, scenting him and searching out the comforting scent of sandalwood and birch.
“It’s okay baby, I’m right here. I’ll even be with you through the whole procedure.” Mathew glanced over to the doctor then. “I am allowed in the room right?”
“Of course. We’ll get you fitted with scrubs and everything.” He smiled. “Alright Castiel, I’ll need you to turn onto your side for the epidural.”
Everything happened pretty quickly after that. He was rolled into the operating room with his mate following beside them; a sheet had been pulled up in front of him as soon as he was situated in the room. Thank God, he wasn’t sure how he would be able to handle seeing everything being performed on him no matter how strong the epidural was. Mathew stood by his side, dressed head to toe in those ridiculous scrubs that made Castiel laugh. It was all pretty routine, just as the doctor had said it would be.
Until it wasn’t.
“There she is.” One voice said which grabbed Castiel’s immediate attention. He waited with baited breath, waited for the little cries he so longed to hear. “D-do you have her?” He asked, but no one answered him.
“Oh, she’s not breathing.” Another voice said.
“N-not breathing..?” Castiel’s own breathing came in short rasps at the implication, a rising sense of dread filling his belly. He looked over at Mathew with a desperate searching look in his eyes, but all he found was the same look of fear. “Why isn’t she breathing?”
Everything around him quickly turned to chaos. The doctor and the attending nurses were scrambling to not only close up Castiel’s abdomen, but to also grab the equipment needed to get his daughter breathing. He caught a glimpse of his limp daughter being carried to the table and fuck…She was so tiny...Castiel lost it. He began begging and pleading for answers. “Please! Someone! Why isn’t she breathing!?”
“Babe-“
“No!” Tears spilled from Castiel’s eyes. “Give her to me! Please!”
“There’s no pulse.” A third nurse announced as they tried to get her to cry or to move; something! Castiel could see that they were trying their hardest to get her lucid and breathing, but he just wanted to help, that maybe if he held her it might stir her to life.
“Please, God, please!” Castiel cried as he slammed his fist on the bed, a wave of hopelessness overcoming him. All he wanted was to hear her cry, just once. He could deal with everything else later.
“She’s not responding.”
“No!” Castiel looked to Mathew in the hopes that he had some answers but all that he was met with was a silent, grief stricken expression on his face, his eyes red rimmed and full of tears he refused to let fall. “Mathew, please…Our baby...”
“We should call it.”
“No! She’s not gone!” He thrashed as much as he was able, sobbing as he watched the doctors and nurses cease their attempts to bring his daughter to life.
“Time of death, 4:32PM” As Castiel cried in disbelief, he watched a nurse gently swaddle his daughter just as she normally would have. He begged and begged, reaching out for her until she was finally brought to him.
“I’m sorry Mr. Novak…” The young nurse said, tears brimming in her eyes. Mathew helped her situate their daughter on Castiel’s chest, Mathew’s arms cradling her there. “There wasn’t any more we could have done.”
“Oh…God, C-Claire,” Castiel gazed tearfully down at their lifeless little girl. It wasn’t supposed to happen like this, it shouldn’t have happened like this. If he had been a female presenting omega then their pup would have been alive and well, kicking and screaming at the time of birth. “Please cry for Daddy and Papa…Please-!” But she wouldn’t. Her cheeks should have been pink and rosey, her eyes should have been squinting against the bright lights overhead, but no, she was absolutely still, pale and cold in his arms.
“Cas…Baby, she’s not...”
“No…” Castiel choked. “God…I’m so sorry Claire…Daddy’s sorry.” He bent to kiss the top of her head and sobbed when he felt just how cold she really was. This was it, his worst nightmare come to fruition. His dream of raising his own pup was completely shattered. He’d never be able to chase away the monsters in her closet or underneath her bed, or kiss her boo-boos better.
What sort of father was he really if he can’t even give birth to a healthy pup? A male presenting omega should never have been given the ability to conceive, no matter if it came from God or Mother Nature herself. It was a cruel fate.
“I’m sorry….Please forgive Daddy...”
When Claire was finally taken away, Castiel turned to his mate and sobbed into his chest, a vast, empty void filling his gut. He knew having a child was going to be a life changing experience, an ultimately rewarding experience he had been prepared for. But this…This was beyond anything he could have imagined. The pain he felt, the overwhelming sense of hopelessness, it was worse than a simple case of pining sickness.
And it was only the beginning.