Chapter Text
The first time he saw her properly, he felt like his heart almost stopped. He didn't let it show, he was far too professional for that. But inside, he felt like something similar to shock go through him. Afterwards, Cullen couldn't think of any other moment before in his life that he had fought so hard to remain composed.
He couldn't quite explain it to himself, even afterwards when he had time to reflect on it. It was so unexpected. When that girl with the mark on her hand walked into the war room in Haven for the first time, he just hadn't imagined it would be the most exquisitely beautiful woman he had ever seen. It wasn't even like him to care about a woman's looks, he was more practical than that, and valued other abilities far more than beauty. But she... Lady Trevelyan was just something else altogether.
He did see her fleetingly a few hours earlier than the meeting in the war room, but that was in the heat of battle. Cullen and his men were fighting off demons by a smaller rift just outside of the smoldering ruins of the Temple of Sacred Ashes when Cassandra appeared with the girl and a few others and helped with the fight. The girl was wearing a hood then and he was too preoccupied to be curious.
But in the war room... Maker help him. She strode in after Leliana, with an aura about her that was as enchanting as the way she looked. Her golden hair flowed like sunshine around her head and down in a thick braid on her left side, coming to a stop just above her waist. Her face was hard to describe, it was so utterly beautiful. She had piercing, large blue and green eyes; a shade he had never seen before in his life. A perfect nose, full rosy lips, even her eyebrows framed her heart shaped face beautifully. And her body-
No, he couldn't even look at it or he would lose what little composure he had left.
He found it almost ridiculous that one person could have been born with all of those features. After Cullen recovered somewhat from the initial shock of seeing her face, he immediately thought that she at least must have a horrible personality. Almost all beautiful women he had ever met were obnoxious and thought themselves better than everybody else.
And they couldn't - even all of them thrown together - match her beauty, Cullen thought. But she quickly killed off the personality theory too.
She smiled as she met Cullen's gaze as she was introduced to him. A warm smile, one that made his heart beat so hard in his chest he was sure it had to be visible.
"Pleased to meet you, Commander Rutherford."
Cullen almost let out a groan of frustration. Her voice was like honey and her saying his name sent shivers down his spine. He steeled himself and his face remained, hopefully, neutral.
"Lady Trevelyan. I hear we have you to thank for closing the rifts." He was actually really impressed with how calm he sounded.
She spoke again with that voice, that sounded both innocent, serious and lighthearted at the same time. "I'm afraid I don't really know what's going on here any more than you do, or why I have this mark on my hand." She put her hand out in front of her, flexing it with a fascinated glint in her eye before she looked at Cullen again. "But know that I will do everything in my power to help, however I can. Me and little Sparkles here," she said and inclined her head towards her hand, and a little smile tugged at the corner of her mouth.
Cullen stared at her. Both because he couldn't keep his eyes off the way her small smile created that dimple in her cheek, and because he couldn't believe that she already joked about the mark on her hand, especially when she had started out sounding so serious.
She kept looking at him while she and the others continued to talk. Cullen only listened with one ear. He quickly decided she wasn't like anyone he'd ever met before. Not just because of the way she looked, Maker knows she was the most amazing creature he'd ever seen, but because of the air about her. It was as if she didn't even know how beautiful she was. Well no, she had to know that, but it was as if she didn't care or acknowledged it at all. She didn't have a superior look in her eyes. The way she moved, and the way she observed and talked, it all appealed to him in a completely new way.
He joined in the discussion when he decided to put his observations to the side for the time being, and get down to business. That, however, required all of his templar discipline. Not letting anyone see that his heart pounded in his chest when she looked at him, or how he almost melted to a puddle on the floor when she spoke to him, was nearly impossible.
Put on that Commander-face, for Andraste's sake, man!
He cleared his throat.
"Yes, this is what I have planned..."
Cullen didn't see much of her during their time in Haven, and honestly, he was glad. Each time she was away on Inquisition business, he almost forgot how marvelous she was. His mind couldn't do her justice and he always told himself that she couldn't be as enchanting as he remembered, that his mind overdid it.
And each time she came back, he was proven utterly wrong.
He could only keep his composure when they spoke of the Inquisition. She was far too delightful in other matters, always making small comments that made him blush or left him unsure of how to respond, so he avoided it at all cost. As soon as they had finished talking business, he threw himself into the next thing he had to do. Thankfully, his to-do-list never stopped growing.
It was more difficult to avoid the Inquisitor in Skyhold, though. She spent much more time here than she had in in Haven, since it was a much better place for planning, and of course the Inquisition had grown much since then, and they had significantly more people who could do most of the minor missions.
Cullen was still in awe of her, but he was starting to get a little more relaxed around her, maybe because he'd gotten somewhat used to her presence. They ran into each other quite often, walking the battlements, the garden, and of course in the war room, but he still wasn't exactly ready to have a casual conversation with her. She affected him like no other person had ever done before and he was terrified he would say something wrong.
The first time she came to visit him in his office, it had been a long day for Cullen. Up at the crack of dawn overseeing the training of the soldiers, then an endless heap of paperwork and reports to be signed. He was sitting in his chair rubbing his neck, thinking about going to bed, when the knock came.
"Come in."
The door opened slightly and in she came. She closed the door behind her and smiled at him when she saw his eyes widen at the sight of her.
"Commander, I hope I'm not disturbing you?" She tilted her head slightly as she watched him, and Cullen immediately felt like a mouse, and she was the cat. Not in a predator type of way, but more like... she was curious, and he was helpless.
"Inquisitor, of course not, I always have time for you."
Her smile grew wider as she walked further into the room and stood across the other side of the desk from him. "I'm glad to hear that. To be completely honest with you Commander, I didn't think you liked me very much." One of her eyebrows was now raised but she still smiled at him.
"Wh-what? Maker, why would you think that, my Lady?" he stuttered.
"Well... You always turn and go the other way if you see me somewhere, and our conversations are always very straight to the point and then you hurry off as if there were a fire somewhere. It all makes a girl wonder what she's done wrong, you know."
Cullen stared at her for a bit longer than what was probably appropriate. Her smile wavered a bit and she shifted to her other foot.
Is... is she nervous?
This goddess-like creature stood before him, asking him if he didn't like her. He'd actually made her think that?
He pulled himself together and found his ability to speak again.
"I am sorry if I made you think that I didn't... that I didn't care for your company, my Lady. It's just been so much to do, I..." he sighed and thought he might as well be honest. "And well, frankly you make me a little nervous." He stared down at his desk.
She sought his eyes, and he looked up to see her beautiful face, with that look of a cat's curiosity again.
"Please, Commander, don't call me 'Lady', or any other title. It's just you and me. We're alone."
The thought hadn't really got to him before now.
Alone.
"I'm sorry, what should I call you then? I don't actually know your first name, my Lady."
"My first name... I don't like to use it actually, it's a bit embarrassing. You can just call me Trev," she said, looking at him with a gleam in her eyes.
He almost swayed where he stood.
"Alright then, Trev."
She looked pleased and walked around the desk to his side and sat on the edge of it.
Maker, she's so close.
He could smell her now, an odd and enticing mixture of jasmine, ink, leather and honey.
Divine.
She looked up at him. "Why do I make you nervous, Commander? Is it my mark?" she asked, a small, worried frown forming in her face.
"If I can call you Trev, please call me Cullen. And no, it's not your mark." He paused to find the right words. "Do you... do you really not know the effect you have on people? On me? You always have intelligent things to say, you're a natural leader. And your personality is fascinating - I can never read you, and I'm damned good at reading people." Cullen spoke so hurriedly he had to catch his breath after his last word.
She gave out a delightful little laugh. Cullen almost forgot what he'd said when he heard that wonderful sound.
"That is what I like so much about you, Cullen. You didn't even mention... I was afraid you were going to say what everyone else in my life have ever said to me: that the way I look make them nervous. You have no idea, no idea, how refreshing it is to hear something else." She smiled that dazzling smile again and took a few steps closer to him, only an arms length separating them now.
Cullen swallowed hard.
"So, you think I'm mysterious, then?" she continued. "I guess we can remedy that by getting to know each other better. Would you like that, Cullen?"
She looked up into his eyes with a small smile playing on her lips.
"Umm... yes, very much so, Trev."
She took a small step towards him, closing the distance between them. Cullen could feel the electricity between them as she reached up to his ear and whispered something in it. Trev sank back down on her feet, smiling and biting her lower lip ever so slightly and backed out, turned and left the office, closing the door behind her.
Cullen was left standing frozen, his face was burning red from blushing.
By the Maker and Andraste and everything that is holy, did I just hear her say that to me?