Work Text:
It seemed like the gods weren’t on his side as usual. Not only did he end up walking home from school at night because Hairo and their other classmates have another big project for an event, Saiki had to walk home with Nendou and Kaidou. At night.
Don’t get him wrong, there’s nothing wrong with walking home at night nor is he scared of the dark or anything of the like, it’s just because walking on the streets at night means…
“Hey, are you a number two guy or a number four guy?” Kaidou asked Nendou while they were walking, “Huh? Oh, I’m a two guy.” ‘Good grief, What does that even mean?’ Saiki wished he could teleport home so that he could sleep off the already forming headache that he’s getting from listening to those two.
“Really? Ha! Well I’m a four guy so that means I’m always four steps ahead of you!” He proceeded to walk four tiles up front. “Hm? Oh, you want to play? Take this!” Nendou jumped over two times in front of Kaidou, going over four tiles. “Hey! You’re playing dirty, Nendou!” Saiki squinted at him, ‘Kaidou, you played dirty too.’
“Well jokes on you, I’ve got the Jet-Black Wings on my side! Look here!” Kaidou pointed to the right of the street where four stray cats lay on the ground sleeping. ‘Wait a minute,’ Saiki thought, confused. “Yeah — Well, look to the left!” Nendou pointed to the left of the street where two stray dogs were running after each other. ‘Why are these numbers repeating?’
“No way! Fine, The next one to get their number will win!” Saiki started to look around to see that they passed by two trees, two streetlights, four cars, and a bird nest that held four eggs. ‘What the heck?’ Saiki continued walking by the street, not noticing that they were nearing a sewer drain. ‘Why are these numbers important?’
“AH-HA! I win, Nendou!” “Not bad, but here!”
Saiki looked down.
There were six cockroaches.
‘Ah. It’s been nice knowing you all. Goodbye.’
One of the bugs opened up it’s wings and flew towards them. “AHHH! NENDOU!” Kaidou shrieked as he hid behind Nendou while Saiki teleports away when they aren't looking, giving out a small peace sign. Nendou laughs, “HAHA! You scream just like a girl!” and killed all the cockroaches using his hands. He imitated Kaidou. “S-Shut up! I wasn’t screaming like that — Be quiet! Also, get your dirty hands off me! Gross.”
Nendou stared at the spot where Saiki disappeared. “Oh, my buddy got scared off by the roaches.” Kaidou looks around, “Huh? What do you mean, Nendou? He’s just right here — ”
Saiki was gone.
“SAIKI, NOOO! THE DARK REUNION TOOK HIM!”
“Nah, he probably went home.” He pointed out, being uncharacteristically sensible.
“No, Nendou! We have to come find him!” Kaidou took one step but then he realized that it was already time for dinner and he was late. ‘My mom is going to kill me.’ Kaidou thought, terrified at the sight of his mom. He could already see it.
It was also dark.
“I-In second thought, please come with me. I’m sure Saiki is fine, just like you said!” He laughed nervously. Eyeing the darkness around them with fear and uncertainty.
─────
Nothing is better than having a normal peaceful weekend at home. Saiki’s parents were gone for today and he had the entire place to himself, but ever since the previous night he couldn’t help but think about those cockroaches and their filthy little bodies rendering them absolutely unpredictable to him.
Because of that, he decided to clean the entire house but…
Saiki used his telekinesis to move the dust near the kitchen table but there was something small hiding beside the table’s leg.
He looks under and sees a dead cockroaches’ body. Saiki staggered back with a small gasp, clutching his shirt. To him, it almost felt as if his spirit had just left his body. He let out a disgusted look. ‘But wait, if there was one in my house then that would mean — ’
There might be more.
‘Good grief,’ And here he thought he would have a peaceful weekend. He mourns for this loss when he hears someone knocking the door outside.
Saiki used clairvoyance to see that his classmates (friends) were outside his house. “Hey! Hey! Hey pal! Wanna go out for some ramen with us?” Nendou screamed at his balcony at the top of his lungs. Saiki took a closer look behind him. ‘ Wait, there’s someone on his back. Isn’t that Saiko?’ “Hey, can it, mohawk peasant! You're going to make me fall!” Saiko tsked in annoyance and went off Nendou’s back. ‘Why are you even on his back?’ Saiki thought.
‘I’ll make Saiki say ‘Offu!’ to me, I swear. I’m even wearing one of my cuter outfits right now, upping my looks even further!’ Teruhashi thought, giddy with delight.
“Helllooooo? Hello! Saiki, you there? Open up! It’s us.” Kuboyasu says, pounding on the door with a menacing look on his face, earning some concerned stares from the bystanders on the streets. ‘This is how normal people knock on other people’s houses right?’ He thinks. Saiki shakes his head. ‘No, if you did that on someone else’s house you look as if you’re going to rob them.’
Saiki sighs, ‘Of course.’ he mused. He had probably jinxed his weekend the moment he woke up.
‘Wait.’ An idea pops into Saiki’s head.
This might actually be useful right now.
Saiki opens the door. “Good morning Saiki!” Teruhashi sent him a smile but Saiki glanced the other way. ‘Ah. He didn’t see me.’ Teruhashi felt a stab in her heart, leaving her dismayed.
“Oh hello Saiki!” Kaidou gave him a small wave. “Buddy, let’s go out for some ramen!” Nendou said while Hairo was doing push-ups in his front yard.
“No. Clean my house with me first.” Saiki said telepathically. “Oh? Cleaning is a great way to workout!” Hairo enthusiastically took a broom and a dust pan from Saiki’s hands. “Come on everyone! Let’s do this!! If we all put in the effort, I’m sure we can get Saiki’s house cleaned in no time!” He pumps his fists up into the air.
‘Oh...’ Teruhashi felt her mood dampen even more since she’s going to ruin her outfit if she cleaned with them. She shook her head. ‘No! Imagine Saiki’s face when a pretty girl like me helps him clean!’ She imagines a scene where she and Saiki accidentally bumped into each other while cleaning. ‘He’s going to be all like — “O-Offu! I’m so sorry! Thank you for helping me so much!” with hearts in his eyes! ‘ Her mood quickly changed again, determined to help Saiki. ‘There’s no way that’s going to happen.’ Saiki thought.
“Hah? You, a peasant, are asking me to clean your house?” Saiko huffed, crossing his arms together. “Hey, you’ve probably never even cleaned your own house before!” Kuboyasu pointed out in irritation.
“Tsk, why should I let my hands get dirty with soot when I could pay people to do it for me? See, look.” Saiko brought out a wad of cash from his pockets and gave it to Kaidou. “Hey you, poor guy, clean Saiki’s house for me.”
“...” Kaidou took the money and went out to find a broom. Kuboyasu takes a step back, “Kaidou! What do you think you’re doing?!”
Kaidou gives Saiko a broom and his money. “...” Saiko gaped back at him, stunned. “Ha! You can’t buy me off! You're too scared to clean, Saiko?” He teases him while Kuboyasu laughs at the look on Saiko’s face. “...P-Pfft! Whatever. I’ll help clean this pleb’s house, not because I care about you peasants at all.” Saiko took the broom Kaidou gave him.
“Yeah! Let’s go!” Hairo encourages everyone and they all start cleaning Saiki’s house together, with Saiko having a bit of difficulty since he’s never cleaned before.
(“What do you do with this thing?” Saiko tilts his head looking at the broom in his hands strangely. “What? Don’t tell me you’ve never touched a broom before.” Kuboyasu looked back at him as if he’s the strange one here.)
(Saiko held a disgusted look on his face. “Ew. What is this grey and hairy stuff?” “That’s dust.” Saiki said.)
Saiki gasps, putting his hand over his mouth to stifle the sounds, and jumps back a bit. “Hey Saiki, did you say something? What happened?” Kaidou looked over at Saiki’s spot where there were 4 cockroaches crawling underneath the kitchen sink. Kaidou screams, Kuboyasu almost bumping into him while he was running over to them. “Hey — What’s all this screaming for? Oh.”
He took out his shoe and smashed those roaches. Nendou laughs, “HAHA! You screamed like a girl again!”
Kaidou's face flushed with embarrassment. “N-No, what are you talking about? Shut up!”
“...Thank you.” Saiki said to everyone, not using his telepathy. Thanking them since they helped him clean everything and rid the house of cockroaches for now. Everyone froze at him, a bit stunned as if hearing his voice for the first time. “It’s no problem buddy! Now come on, let’s go get some ramen!” Nendou pats him at the back. “Ew.” He moved Nendou’s hands off him.
But Saiki smiled. At least he didn’t have to burn down his house this time, glad to have people (friends) like them to help him with this problem.
“Alright, I’ll show you all the best ramen places our area has to offer!” Saiko said with a smug look on his face as a limo drove by Saiki’s house. “Come on.”
─────
They all sat at a table, with empty bowls of ramen in front of them. “Damn it, that tasted so good!” Kuboyasu said. “Why, thank you.” Saiko smirked. “Yeah, thanks for the meal, Saiko.” Teruhashi smiled at him, leaving Saiko a stuttering mess of ‘Offus’ and ‘Of course’.
‘Sigh. My charm is still working but I didn’t get Saiki to say “Offu!”’ She thinks, ‘But that’s ok! There’s always a next time!’ She cheered herself on.
Hairo lets out tears of happiness, beaming out a smile since his friends were all hanging out together in harmony. ‘But Nendou still managed to take out more trash than I did.’ He thought, but he didn’t let that bother him for now. ‘You truly are my rival, Nendou.’ (“Huh? Why are you looking at me like that?” Nendou asked, confused. “Hairo? Earth to Hairo? Why are you crying?” Kaidou waved his hands in front of Hairo’s face.)
Nendou brushes Saiki’s shoulder with his hand. Startled, Saiki looked at him. “Nendou. What did you do that for?”
“Oh, there was a cockroach on your shoulder.”
Saiki paused. His face, blank and devoid of all emotion.
“Lol, just kidding.”
Several windows outside of the ramen place cracked. “I’m going to destroy you right now.” Saiki grinned menacingly.
(The customers of the restaurant looked at them, concerned.
“Nendou, you idiot, what have you done??” Kaidou asked while Hairo and Kuboyasu held back Saiki who looked absolutely livid. “Oy Saiki, keep yourself together!” Kuboyasu said. Hairo nodded, “Yeah! I’m sure that whatever happened between you two is just a misunderstanding!”
‘I think this is one of the most expressive moments I’ve ever seen from him.’ Teruhashi thought. “Oh. Sorry about that pal.” Nendou said, not looking guilty at all.
“Sorry? You owe me at least 100 coffee jellies for that!” Saiki glared at Nendou with a murderous gaze.
Nendou put his hands into his pockets but pulled back his hands out, revealing that he had no money left. He glances at Saiko. Saiki moved his death glare onto him. “U-Uhm, since I’m feeling very generous today and not at all terrified, I’ll pay for it, my treat!”
Saiko laughed nervously as he brought his phone out. “Excuse me, I would like to order some of your premium coffee jellies…” Sounding as if he’s being held at gunpoint. “Good.” Saiki smiled, exuding out a dark aura that would make even his mom proud.
Kuboyasu whispered to Kaidou, “Hey, remind me not to piss Saiki off.” Kaidou nodded, “R-Right.”)