Work Text:
Regret was an interesting word.
Did she regret almost killing the kids? Yes. Did she regret almost killing the kids? No. It was hard to explain to someone who wasn’t an assassin. Someone who didn’t grow up like she did. Her morality and memories from watching the kids progress over her time as a teacher regretted it. But her assassin self, the one she was most often didn’t. She was relieved they were safe but disappointed in a job uncompleted. She was disappointed for letting the Reaper get the upper hand on her.
She grew up in a life so different from their own. She often watched them laugh and mourned a life she never knew. One where she could have laughed and loved and had friends.
Sometimes she wanted to shake them. They were all so excited to be part of the assassin mission. They didn’t know the toll killing had. They didn’t realise how nice being oblivious is. They didn’t know the heavy burden it placed upon their soul. The normal things in life they would lose.
Yet, she respected them. Them and their dedication to their goal.
She would prepare them for their mission but underneath she would help them. She would play the fool she knew they saw. She would help them in their quest, help them plan but ultimately she would be there when they realised what their life had become. What they had become.
She wanted to stay. They were growing on her, not that she would admit it out loud. Stay and help them. Because, she knew they would regret these choices but also cherish them forever more.
Yes, She didn’t regret but she dreamt of different moments, of different choices, different lives.