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“Bye, Riku, see you later!” Kairi’s voice is sweet and pleasant, but Riku’s eye twitches. He is so over this. It is the third day in a row he has been turned down by his best friends because they are going on a date or something like that.
“Chill, man,” Waka says. His hand smacks his back in what is probably supposed to be friendly but feels like a hot-iron to his fragile ego. “People date, you see your friends less, that’s life. It won’t feel so annoying once you’ve got your own girlfriend.”
Riku’s eye twitches even worse, words lodged in his throat. He isn’t about to tell Waka of all people that he had no plans whatsoever to get himself a girlfriend, thank you very much. What he needs are his best friends back.
“Fine, dude.” Waka raises his hands in surrender. “If you’re that upset, though, I mean, we could always hang out, you know?”
“Fiine.” Riku makes no attempt to hide the sigh in his response. It isn’t like he doesn’t like Waka. He used to consider him a great friend as well, but he will never be the same as Sora and Kairi, and now that he’s begun shooting out advice like some know-it-all, Riku just feels more distant.
Hours later, Riku wakes to the sound of tapping at his window. He turns to see Sora hunched over on his windowsill. “Sora?”
“Mind if I come in?” Sora asks even though he’s already crawling through the opening.
“What time is it?”
Sora plops onto his bed. “Don’t know. 3ish maybe?”
Riku sits up and studies what he can make out of Sora’s form in the dim moonlight. He didn’t bother dressing before coming over, shirt logoed and worn. His hair is messier than usual showing that he had slept. “Just came for a midnight chat, or…?”
The question hangs for a bit before Sora takes in a breath which shifts the atmosphere between them. “I think we need to talk.”
Riku’s blood chills. Sora’s figured it out. He’s figured it out and doesn’t want to be his friend anymore. He’s been dreading this ever since he realized himself.
“It’s obvious that you don’t like me and Kairi hanging out together.”
“No.”
“No use denying it. Waka isn’t the best at keeping secrets.”
“Shit. Sora, that’s not--”
“You know, I used to think you liked Kairi. Then I even thought maybe you liked me. Tidus still thinks you do.”
Riku stares down at his hands and hopes that Sora can’t make out his face well in the darkness. “Things would be easier if I did.”
“Really?” Sora laughs. “I don’t think so. Think about it, me and Kairi are dating, right? So what happens if you like either of us? Then we’d have to fight it out. I’d hate that.”
“At least I’d be normal.”
Suddenly Sora’s hand is on his squeezing tight. “Who gets to decide what’s normal?”
Riku’s laugh comes out bitter and a bit broken. “Easy for you to say. You’ve got Kairi and me and…”
“You can say it. Please say it. I don’t want to keep assuming and be wrong here.”
“And love.”
“Oh, Riku.”
The words have been held back for so long because he was afraid of letting them out, but now they jumble and tangle together on the way out so that none are able to escape. There is so much that he wants to say, that he should say, yet there is no semblance to them.
Sora’s hand is still tight on his own and he can feel his eyes on him even though he still refuses to meet them.
“Riku, it’s okay. You can still love us, you know? In your own way.”
He doesn’t realize he’s crying until he feels the wetness on his hands. “I do. I love you both, but it isn’t that kind of love. I don’t even know if I understand what that love is.”
“That’s fine. You don’t have to.”
“But...but I want to take it away from you.”
“Shh.” Sora’s pulls him to his side, arms holding him tight now. It feels safe in a way he hasn’t felt in years. “You won’t.”
“I don’t hate you two spending time together. I just...I just don’t want to be left alone. I want to spend more time with you.”
“It’s okay to feel that way.”
“But you and Kairi.”
“We can manage. Especially if it’s for you. And you know what, if you don’t mind tagging along on dates, I doubt Kairi’d mind.”
“I don’t think--”
“We both love you too, Riku. In that “not-love way” We can talk about it more with Kairi tomorrow, okay? If you want to stick with us more often, I’m sure we can make it work.”
He never thought anyone would understand, let alone adapt for his sake. Riku finally brings himself to meet Sora’s eyes. “You’re a great friend, you know that?”
“Well, duh!” Sora laughs then yawns. “We should probably get some sleep with that math test today.”
“Don’t remind me.”
“Do you mind if I stay over?”
“Course. I’d like that.”
Sora wastes no time flopping down on the mattress. “Good. Now get to bed best friend, old pal.”