Work Text:
Jester:
What’s the issue, Essek?
Why are you holding back from such a man?
Is it the jumpy way he walks?
Or the grumpy way he talks?
Or the way his face stays
Resting on defeat?
And though we know he washes well
He always ends up sort of smelly
But you’ll never meet a fellow who’s as
Sensitive and sweet!
So he’s a bit of a fixer-upper
So he’s got a few flaws
Like even being a wizard
His kitty familiar
Hints at pushing the bounds of nature’s laws
So he’s a bit of a fixer-upper
But this I’m certain of
You can fix this fixer-upper
Up with a little bit of love!
Caleb:
Can we please just stop talking about this?
We’ve got a real, actual problem here
Jester:
I’ll say! So, tell me, dear
Is it the way he’s always scared?
Or that he’s socially impaired?
Or that he’d hide things from you every time he could?
Are you holding back attraction
Due to his opposing faction?
Or the way he covers up that
He’s the honest goods?
He’s just a bit of a fixer-upper
He’s got a couple of bugs
His isolation is confirmation
Of his desperation for healing hugs
So he’s a bit of a fixer-upper
But I know what to do
The way to fix up this fixer-upper
Is to fix him up with you!
Caleb:
Enough! He is the traitor we’ve been looking for, okay?
Jester:
So he’s a bit of a fixer-upper
That’s a minor thing
He seems regretful, so he can’t be dreadful
And really what good would telling bring?
So he’s a bit of a fixer-upper
But now he’s in our midst
He can work toward a world restored
And the whole thing will be fixed
I’m not saying you can change him
Instead you can help him change
I’ve always known that love’s a force
That’s powerful and strange
People make bad choices
When they lose sight of the rest
Throw a little love their way
(Throw a little love their way)
And you’ll bring out their best
True love brings out the best
Everyone’s a bit of a fixer-upper
That’s what it’s all about!
Mother, sister, brother
We need each other
To raise us up and round us out
Everyone’s a bit of a fixer-upper
But when push comes to shove
The only fixer-upper fixer
That can fix a fixer-upper is
True, true
True, true, true
Love (True love)
Love, love, love, love, love
Love! (True love)
True…
Do you, Essek, take Caleb to be your dick-fully wedded husband?
Essek:
Wait, what?
Jester:
You’re getting married!
…love!