Chapter Text
As much as Dream was loath to admit it, humanity had surprised him. Sure, their technology was terribly archaic and they were certainly more inclined to violence than any of the races of the Galactic Confederation, but from the initial reports of this backwater planet he had expected little more than animals snapping at each other’s throats over scraps.
Not that they were entirely inaccurate, Dream scowled as he stepped around a particularly impressive drunken brawl between two females. He wondered if maybe the last researchers here had only gone out at night, the humans definitely seemed more aggressive when the sun went down.
Still, despite being stuck on a class 3 death world, this planet's sole sentient race had managed to piece together some semblance of civilization. It was almost impressive considering the surface temperatures ranging from as low as 190 Kelvin to as high as 330, the terribly destructive weather patterns and shifting tectonic plates, and the terrifying and often disease-ridden wildlife that plagued this planet. At least the gravity was at a reasonable range, close to Dream’s own home planet.
Dream's thoughts were interrupted by a familiar loud screech as he rounded the corner to the alleyway and was spotted by Tommy. The chip near his ear quickly translated the loud noises coming from the boy as Dream relaxed his posture and pulled the bag from his back to place in front of the kid.
"Oi green bitch! You're late! I've been waiting here for ages!" He eyed the bag as Dream lowered it to the ground. "There better be some fuckin' food in there or I dunno if I'll be able to forgive this. What kinda friend leaves him hanging in a dangerous alleyway at this time of night? I coulda been shanked!" His complaints quieted down as he found the food and stuffed his face, Dream's translator now struggling as the kid mumbled more profanities around the food in his mouth.
This had become a routine for nearly a month now; Dream would bring a bag of food and alien technology and in return Tommy would talk, and sometimes bring trinkets or books for Dream to take home as well. As abrasive and annoying as the child could be, he had been a valuable source of information for Dream's research, not to mention he was admittedly very entertaining. Still, it was clear the usefulness of these visits was coming to an end, which is why Dream was late planning his next steps for the boy.
He had arrived on this planet a few months ago, at the beginning of the hot season for this hemisphere. He had found some discarded human clothes quickly enough, some thick pants and a bright green “hoodie” that allowed him to cover most of his head with the added benefit of shielding him from the dreadful rays of Earth’s sun. That combined with the privacy mask he always carried on unfamiliar planets allowed him to mingle amongst the crowds while his translator collected speech samples to add to the database. The translator would function better when he could bring a human sample to the ship and scan their brains during conversation, but it managed well enough for the time being, and after a week of listening quietly, he had finally been ready to test it out.
His first attempts at conversation had not gone as well as he had anticipated. He was confident in his translator’s functionality, but all the humans he approached seemed to avoid him, wrinkling their noses and jumping back when he approached. He was about to give up for the day when one of them sighed and handed him some of their paper currency before walking away with a short “don’t mention it”. Dream had stood there for a moment, confused, before he heard a grating laugh coming from behind him. He turned to the source and found a scrawny human with dirty blonde locks of hair and tattered clothes, his arms wrapped around his waist, clearly looking at Dream in between laughs. He straightened up, vibrant blue eyes landing on Dreams mask as he caught his breath. “How did you even do that? You didn’t even ask for money and she just gave it to you, no sob stories or anything! How much did you get?”
Dream tilted his head, examining the filth and wounds that coated the child’s skin, and held out the money. He didn’t know why he’d been having such trouble getting humans to talk to him, but at least he was making some progress now.
“10£? Not bad for doing literally nothing…” his nose wrinkled as he looked Dream up and down. “Maybe she just wanted you to get away from her though man, you smell like shit. Did you literally crawl out of a dumpster this morning? Are you homeless?”
Dream was taken aback. “WHAT? No I’m not homeless, what’re you… wait I smell bad? What’s a dumpster?”
The kid gave him a look he couldn’t quite decipher. He held out a hand and pointed towards one of the large metal containers in the alleyway. It… was the same kind of container he had found these clothes in, and he was beginning to wonder if that had been a mistake. Humans seemed to have a strong sense of smell, though how they could smell anything over the exhaust from the cars in the street was a mystery. Not to mention the kid seemed plenty filthy himself to be insulting Dream… “Uhhh, you’re not from around here, are you? I’m Tommy, what’s your name? Why are you wearing a hoodie in summer? Are you a wrongen? You look like a wrongen.”
Dream stared as his translator struggles to keep up. “Uh. I’m Dream. Do you always ask so many questions?”
Tommy shrugged. “Dream? Weird fuckin’ name, innit? Well, nice meeting you, I guess.” Tommy turned and ran away as Dream watched, and it was several minutes before he realized he’d been robbed.
Dream snapped out of his reminiscing as Tommy cleared his throat in front of him, having finished his snack apparently. It was time, he had to focus. His time on this planet was coming to an end, but it would all be worth it if he could convince Tommy to come with him. Tommy WOULD come with him, one way or another, but things would be easier if he would cooperate.
“You with me big man? You even listening?”
“Sorry, it’s just… I have some news, Tommy. My boss contacted me, it’s time for me to leave.” Dream had grown proficient in reading human body language, especially Tommy’s, and he was pleased to see sadness flash across the boy’s face. “This doesn’t have to be bad news though! You can come with me! You’ll love it, I know you will, you can be the first human outside the galaxy, you’ll see so much. It’s not like you’d rather stay here, right?” His brows furrowed, and Dream stepped back to let the kid think.
The kid had discovered Dream was an alien after only their second meeting. Dream had returned to the same street they had last met a few days after their first interaction, this time with freshly washed clothes, but he was still struggling to talk to anyone. They didn’t wrinkle their noses at him anymore (he supposed that was from the dumpster smell?) but they still eyed him with suspicion and cut off his attempts to speak with “I don’t want any” “not interested” and other phrases along those lines. He sighed and sat on a box in the alleyway, away from prying eyes, wondering what he was doing wrong, when the only human he had successfully spoken to suddenly sat next to him.
“Hey big man, you alright? You smell better today at least. Why’re you still wearing that getup though?”
“What’s wrong with my clothes now?” Dream looked down, pulling at the hem of the hoodie
“Well for one, it’s like a million degrees outside how’re you not boiling? For another, that color is a-tro-cious, it’s burning my eyes just to look at it!” Dream took a closer look at the fabric, wondering what Tommy meant. The color seemed nice enough to him? “And don’t even get me started on why you thought it’d be a good idea to approach people with some creepy ass mask covering your face, what’re you ugly or something?” The translator was still catching up to Tommy’s tirade and Dream didn’t realize until too late that Tommy was grabbing his mask. Time seemed to stand still for a minute as his blue eyes widened and met Dreams glowing green ones. Then time moved very quickly indeed as Dream lurched to cover his mouth, pinning him to the wall with one arm and grabbing his mouth with his other hand before he could scream. Humans might be disproportionately strong, but luckily this one was ridiculously small.
“Shit. Shit. Nononono noooo please be quiet. I swear I won’t hurt you.” Tommy shuddered in Dreams grip but stopped struggling, surprising Dream by keeping eye contact, and he recognized the movement of his head as a nod, a human signal for agreement. Slowly, just barely, Dream released the grip on his mouth, keeping him pinned just in case. He breathed out deliberately, making a hissing noise as his teeth clenched together.
“What the fuuuuuck”
Tommy was taking longer to respond than Dream had anticipated, and his face was screwed up in deep thought. “Tommy? Come on, we’re friends, right? You can’t tell me you’d really rather stay here… right?” Okay, maybe Tommy needed a bit more pushing, but Dream could do this. His mission depended on it.
“What about Tubbo? I can’t just leave him, he needs me.”
Dream was glad he still kept his mask on even when only around Tommy, he had been picking up some human mannerisms and didn’t think his eyeroll would have been much appreciated here. Goddamn Tommy and his stupid attachments, this Tubbo kid had been a thorn in Dreams side since Tommy first mentioned him and they hadn’t even met! Or well, Tubbo hadn’t met Dream yet, at least.
Somehow, despite his struggling translator, Dream had managed to convince the boy to follow him to his base of operations. Apparently human curiosity was stronger than their sense of self-preservation, since Tommy barely resisted Dream’s offer to see his fancy alien technology, other than numerous insults about Dreams “hideous” alien features.
“You better not be abducting me though, Tubbo would find you and kick your ass. I already told him about you, he’ll track you down!”
“Tubbo? Who the fuck is Tubbo?” Tommy’s constant swearing had already improved Dream’s translator’s profanity database, and Dream wasn’t complaining.
“He’s my roommate and he knows all kinds of shit about aliens, you would stand no chance against him, bitch! He’s gonna flip when I tell him about this, we knew you were weird but alien? That’s a whole ‘nother level of weird.”
Dream hesitated. He had no intentions of letting Tommy go back home after finding his secret, but there was always the chance he might escape. Dreams predecessors HAD warned extensively about human ingenuity and durability. “Tommy… please don’t tell anyone about this. I mean, I doubt anyone would believe you anyways but if they did? I could end up dissected! Come on, you know my secret, that means we’re friends. You can keep a secret for a friend, right?”
“Friends? Kinda clingy there, big man but I get it, who wouldn’t wanna be friends with the great Tommyinnit?! I am the biggest man, after all.” Tommy huffed but Dream was pretty sure that was a pleased look on his face. “All right I won’t tell him, but I’m telling you he’s cool he wouldn’t let anything slip.”
Dream sighed. What’s one more human, right? They eat a lot, but Tubbo would probably help keep Tommy compliant and having another specimen on board wouldn’t be the worst idea. He could work as a control variable. “FINE. I guess, if you want… you can tell Tubbo. He can come too; I’ll make room if it means so much to you.”
For a few seconds, met with Tommy’s silence, Dream worried he’d somehow made a misjudgment. After just a brief moment though, the kid jumped up and hooted in joy. “Hell yeah! Fuck Earth, Tubbo will love this! When do we leave?”
Dream had overestimated how reluctant Tommy would be, that was too easy. Was Tubbo really the only factor Dream had to worry about? He instructed the boy to meet him at the ship the next night, their usual time, and bring anything he wanted to keep because they wouldn’t return for a long time (well, ever, but he didn’t need to know that). The two went their separate ways and Dream felt lighter than he had in months. Finally, he could get off this stupid planet, and hopefully find some real answers about the strange child once he reached his real lab. Even the preliminary testing on his makeshift field lab on the ship had yielded promising results, Dream was looking forward to more extensive experiments.
Tommy had rambled nonstop about anything and everything on the way to the ship, but the moment Dream deactivated the camouflage layer he was struck dumb, jaw hanging limp and eyes wide. It would be simple to strike the human down where he stood, his body wouldn’t be found this far out from town and his guard was down, but humans were known to be ridiculously resilient and it would be a waste not to get a few tests in while he was here. It would be safer to deal with him on the ship with the escape routes closed off.
The ramp lowered to where Dream had led the finally quiet boy, and Tommy stared up a moment longer before letting out a screech. Well, so much for quiet. “HOLY FUCK! THIS IS FUCKING POGGERS” Hmm… the translator didn’t seem to know what “poggers” meant but it seemed to be a good thing? He followed Tommy up the ramp, grateful for the identity-locked controls as he saw the human touch every. Single. Button.
Dream interrupted Tommy’s renewed ramblings as they approached the lab. “Wanna see something cool? I’ve been working on a food source that’s edible to all races, I wouldn’t mind a human taste-tester to tell me if it’s any good.” A bald-faced lie. The last researchers here had tested numerous humans some 12 Earth cycles ago, and the fruit was clearly just as poisonous to humans as all other races, even if it did take longer to take effect. In their incompetence, however, they had barely investigated the bodies after death and Dream had always suspected there might be more to the delay in toxicity. Maybe whatever caused the delay in humans could be synthesized to decrease mortality in mild exposure to other races?
Tommy grinned widely, showing off all his creepy ass teeth, and Dream repressed a shudder as he heard a deep growl come from the human in the same moment. “Alien food??? Fuck yeah, hit me up big man, I missed dinner walking all the way out here for you, least you can do is feed me!” Wow. Dream isn’t complaining, but… do humans really have no self-preservation at all? Maybe that’s the real reason they’re so hard to kill, they had to evolve to compensate for their stupidity. Or maybe Tommy is special? He was the only human willing to interact with him after all.
Dream unlocked the cabinet that contained the preserved fruit, and he was careful to only touch the jar as he poured some of the dried berries into Tommy’s waiting hands. A simple touch of the uncrushed berries wouldn’t do any harm, especially not dried, but better safe than sorry with these. It was hard to suppress a grimace when the boy tossed the entire handful in his mouth at once, but at least such a high dose would take effect sooner.
“Huh. Not gonna lie, kinda bland. Have you got any more food?”
Dream supposed he could give the kid one final meal before his end. He led the way to the kitchen and laid out some ready-made snacks. Best not to waste any time cooking, it’d be impressive if he was still breathing by the end of 10 minutes.
30 minutes and 8 days’ worth of rations later, and the boy was looking as happy as could be. How was this possible? And HOW COULD HE EAT SO MUCH?! “Honestly, Dream? Your tastes are shit, and I don’t just mean your clothes. It’s lucky you called me in as taste-tester cause clearly you have never heard of flavor. Do all aliens just not have taste-buds? Because this is depressing as shit.” This didn’t make sense. No one could survive that much of the fruit. It was easily 3 times as much as killed the largest human in the last sample group. Maybe it was a dud? No, not likely, and Dream wasn’t about to test the fruit on himself. Dream needed more information. If this means what he thinks it means… This discovery could turn the tides of the war, could save billions… He would send a request for the next supply drop to include fresher samples, and maybe some sedatives that worked on humans to be safe. If he could replicate the results, this would change everything.
Dream wasn’t really paying attention to what Tommy was saying anymore, until he asked for his mask. Dream handed the mask over as he considered how best to approach the next step. “You know, it was pretty cool having someone to hang out with in here. Would you want to come back? I could teach you about space, you could teach me about Earth, it’d be fun!” He had stopped messing with the mask to listen, and there was another toothy grin on his face. It was a little less creepy this time, at least.
“Hell yeah! We’re friends, right? But you have got to get some better food my man. I’m taking you to flavor-town next time we meet. Here, I got tired of looking at nothing, maybe this will make you look less creepy.” He handed the mask back and Dream saw the alteration.
:)
Judging by the following laughter, he suspected it wasn’t an improvement.